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Disclaimer: I don't own law and order SVU or any of its characters they belong to Dick Wolf, however I do own any characters that I make up and this story line.
Quote: Choices are the hinges of destiny. Edwin Markham
Author's note: Um this chapter refers to "the door to heaven", if you're not religious well I also suggested that Alex was simply hallucinating (The doctors did give her drugs) in those parts so you know there would be two possibilities (Those possibilities being a)duh she's dying and seeing the whole "white light" thing or b)The doctors gave her some pretty messed up drugs. This way you can decide what she was really seeing so yeah…just so you know…
I see all their faces, they stare at me and they speak without words. Here I am staring at the soul of the world, everything and everyone that ever walked this earth. Here lies the door to heaven.
There seem to be more gates leading to heaven-other worlds maybe? I wonder with a strange sense of amazement, am I dreaming? Water rushes by my ankles, death seems so much colder than I imagined, but look at the gates they're so inviting and warm.
I see other shapes they're rushing in and out of the doors some are just standing there like me…watching as life passes them by. A voice inside my head tells if I go through those doors I wont be able to return to my life as Alexandra Cabot.
I turn around and walk the other way to another door only this one isn't as warm and inviting. I squeeze my eyes shut, you're imagining things Alex, I say to myself, go through these less inviting doors no bad will come to you-you are dreaming the people at the hospital drugged you that's all and this is just one of the effects.
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"Hello Bethany dear, are you feeling all right?" Tabitha's mother (Kelly) asked.
What a stupid question, Bethany thought, yeah I'm just spectacular, my mother's dead, Alex is dying and I a thirteen year old just suffered from a heart attack, yeah I'm doing great, "Okay…I'm okay."
Kelly stroked Bethany's hair; Bethany always hated it when people touched her hair, like doing that would somehow make everything better.
"You'll be staying with me and Tabitha… at least for a while if you don't want to it's okay."
Bethany didn't answer her mind was wandering off again as it often did. She had hated her mother this in some twisted way this was what she had always wanted yet now things weren't the same. Too bad I cant just avoid the whole having parents thing, Bethany thought but even as she thought this knew it was stupid, I just don't think I wanna live with my best friend, I'd always just be Tabitha's friend never…daughter, she thought, not that I ever have been my mother hated me just as much as I hated her.
"I'll give you some time to think okay dear?"
Bethany nodded "Yes that's fine, I just need some time to think that's all."
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I watch the seen from above, at least that's what it feels like; the doctors are doing heart surgery on me, Alex. I imagine seeing the outline of a knife coming out of my chest…yes that's right I was stabbed there…
"She's waking up sir, should we give her more drugs?"
"I'm not sure that that would be so wise…any more drugs could seriously harm her and alter the procedure." The lead doctor said although he knew that Alex waking up was bad, it was unlikely that she'd survive.
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(Okay now bare in mind that the parts with Olivia and the parts with Bethany and Alex have now caught up and that Olivia's part is no longer a day ahead.)
"'Liv? You ok?" Elliot asked.
Perhaps it was the lack of sleep or maybe she really couldn't hold it back any more but Olivia began to weep, she fell into Elliot's arms. He gave her a tight embrace, she hated that he had to see her cry.
"Liv what's the matter?"
"Everything, my whole life is one big mistake…all those victims we supposedly helped, they're still worse of then before they were victims…and Alex my best friend…friends aren't supposed to get hurt Elliot…but I couldn't help her…" She said between sobs.
"Shhh Liv it's ok…Alex will be fine…everything will be fine."
"After work I'm going to the hospital closest to where that cottage was…I'll see if Alex is there."
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"I'm hungry 'Tab but all they'll give me is this gross hospital food."
"Eh, why are you complaining to me? It's your fault you had a heart attack."
"Please help me…there's a McDonalds down the street, just you know sneak some food in here wit' you…" Bethany said, "C'mon I know you're joking about he having a heart attack being my own fault thingy…you wanna help me don't you?"
"Nah, last time I helped you we were nearly killed, besides we both know eating McDonalds is basically suicide."
"Pfft you're just being lazy...well can you at least tell me if Alex is okay?"
"They just finished surgery…you'll know soon enough."
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Here I am back in the river of death looking at the doors to heaven…they must have given me more drugs…this is just my imagination…it's not real…I wanna go back now…back to earth…enough drugs I'll tell the doctors, I don't need them…wake up Alex c'mon…great I never thought I'd be telling myself to wake up…this is pretty sad…well here it goes…now I turn around and walk back to earth, back to my normal mind.
"Alex? Are you awake?"
"Yes…Bethany, why?"
Well you've kind of been asleep for the past two weeks…" Bethany said slowly, "The doctors drugged you to numb the pain…well you were asleep did you dream at all? The doctors said you wouldn't…you almost died, did you see the white light? What's it like in heaven? Is there a heaven? Did you like it there? How have you been lately? What's death like? W-" Bethany was cut short
"Will you shut up kid? Ah so many questions!"
"Oh sorry I got a little carried away…"
"I think it was because of the drugs but maybe I did see the white light..."
"Well I don't really know if I believe in heaven…I was just wondering…"
"I know…what about you-you saved my life I owe you that…how have you been?"
"Well my mother's dead and I had a heart attack…" Bethany said nonchalantly.
"Will you be all right?"
"I dunno…they want me to live with Tabitha and her mother Kelly, but I don't really want to."
Alex thought for a moment before responding, "Before your mother died she asked me if I would be your guardian only with Velez still kicking I can't…I'm sorry"
"Oh Velez got life in prison without parole…thanks to me and Tabitha's hard work only no one knows that."
"Should I even ask what this hard work was?'
"Long story I'll tell you all about it another time."
"Listen If it's okay with you I'd like to be your guardian."
"So long as you're willing to go through tat whole custody thing I'd really like that."
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Author's note: Okay the rest of the story will most likely be purr fluff because I'm thinking of making this story have a sequel 'cause it just makes more sense that way. If however you don't want me to make a sequel I wont, just so you know the sequel would take place ten years later. Originally I planned to not have a sequel but just continue with this story ten years later, but then the title "no time to say good bye" wouldn't really make any sense so yeah that's the only reason I'm making it into two stories.
Anyways please review I don't think I'll update unless I get a few more review. Just so you know there'll probably be at least 2 more chapters before this story is over and then if people want me to I'll make the sequel, so yeah review please.
