Kurapika had been standing in front of the apartment door for half an hour now. He was scared to go inside. Now that he'd woken himself back up, everything he'd done was starting to catch up with him. He'd just abandoned the others for an entire month, with nothing more than a very brief and very rude letter to provide context.
They would probably be so upset with him… Killua especially.
Kurapika was supposed to have been helping Killua get together with Gon… as much as the Valkyrie resisted it (and fantasized over it). Standing at this door… felt like a fever dream. Had all those months of happiness… really happened? Had that haven from the dark of the world really been somewhere Kurapika had resided within?
Did that picturesque family, incredibly in all its chaotic glory, really exist?
Were there really three smiling faces waiting for Kurapika to return?
It was impossible to believe.
But the warmth stirring in Kurapika's chest and the tears rising in the corners of his eyes were indication enough that this wasn't something he'd imagined up in his head. Or some recurring dream.
Kurapika took a deep breath, and grabbed onto the doorknob. It was unlocked.
Shocking.
Kurapika rolled his eyes.
Of course the second he left those three disasters would start forgetting to lock the door behind them. Honestly.
The Elf stepped through the doorway, and was greeted with such an overwhelming wave of nostalgia that he was frozen on the spot, unable to close the door behind him thanks to the shaking of his hands. Five legendary universe defenders argued back and forth on the television screen, arms locked as they floated through empty space, lost and drifting.
And there were two spiky haired heads. The volume up so loud that they hadn't even heard Kurapika enter. He could just see it. Gon and Leorio completely invested in the television, with Killua draped across their laps like the glorified cat that he was.
Kurapika pressed his hand over his mouth, and his shoulders shook with silent sobs.
It was real.
It had all really happened.
He was… he was back.
With fumbling hands, he shut the door behind him. He had meant to close it softly, allowing him a more graceful return. His trembling fingers, however, only served to slip off the door handle, slamming the door and jerking Leorio and Gon to attention.
The two whipped around, Leorio drawing a switchblade and Gon already flaring his aura, to find Kurapika. Frozen and fumbling at the doorstep. Hair matted and greasy, face still stained with Chrollo's blood and his own tears. With watery eyes and tattered clothing. His satchel limp and stained at his side.
The other two males immediately froze as well, the color coded warriors on the screen gazing in awe at a sudden light in the distance.
Leorio was the first one to break the silence. "KURAPIKA?!"
This unfroze Kurapika, who immediately broke down crying. Gon was a blur of green, at Kurapika's side in an instant. The Elf got the wind knocked out of him when Gon slammed into his chest, wrapping him up in an embrace tight enough to strangle a Dragon.
"Gon?" Kurapika choked out, still unable to breathe.
A pair of desperate and pain-stricken amber eyes turned up to meet the Elf's, chilling Kurapika to his very core. Gon had horrible bags under his eyes, and his face was dirty and sticky from hours of crying.
He was trembling in Kurapika's embrace.
What on earth happened to him?!
"Kurapika, is– is this really happening?" the hybrid whimpered, sending Kurapika into messy wails. He clung to Gon, tucking the smaller boy under his chin. The two crumpled to the ground. Kurapika let out all the pain he'd pent up all these seven years. Finally crying the tears he should have cried the night his clan had been slaughtered.
Gon sobbed along with him, for reason's Kurpaika was not aware of. But just the sound of Gon's desperate cries were enough to make Kurapika even guiltier, and yet even happier to be back. To be able to be here to comfort Gon. To give this precious child the loving embrace that Kurapika had never gotten.
Kurapika didn't know how long he sat there sobbing at the doorstep with Gon, but he finally calmed himself down. He looked around, feeling more awake than he had in… weeks? Months? Years?
"Where's Killua?"
Gon immediately stiffened.
Kurapika got another chill. Something was off.
Gon unwound himself from Kurapika's embrace, sitting back… just in time for Kurapika to look behind him and find–
Leorio in a wheelchair. Pushing himself to meet the other two.
Kurapika stared in shock, and most of all horror. "Leorio! What happ–"
The Goblin chucked a slipper directly at Kurapika's face. No hesitation whatsoever. Kurapika was knocked back by the blow, and his head cracked painfully against the metal door. "WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, SHOWING UP HERE AFTER ALL THE SHIT YOU CAUSED?!" Leorio roared.
Kurapika sat frozen, his fingers pressed against a fresh and very much bleeding head wound.
That was a concussion if Kurapika had ever had one.
Kurapika slowly turned back to face Gon and Leorio… Leorio, who was in a wheelchair, and Gon who was standing behind him. The sadness and relief on Gon's face was gone. Replaced by a dark mask of hurt and disbelief.
Kurapika opened his mouth to speak, then changed his mind. Closing it back. He switched positions, sitting back on his heels. He placed his hands neatly in his lap, and bowed his head low. The Goblin sign of submission.
Gon and Leorio's eyes burned on him, and Kurapika was drowning in guilt and shame.
He deserved this. He really did.
Leorio sighed, Gon still hiding behind him. "Listen. I'm sorry about throwing a shoe at you. But you fucking deserved it," the Goblin ground out.
"I agree," Kurapika breathed. "I'm sorry."
"Do you even know what you're being sorry for?" Leorio asked, voice wavering. He was losing his composure, and fast. He'd never been one to hold onto anger. Always a man to forgive quickly and love even faster. Kurapika saw it in the way he acted with Gon and Killua… in the way he protected all of them.
"For leaving," Kurapika answered, voice hoarse from crying. "For abandoning all of you without a single goodbye, let alone a decent explanation."
"Or a 'thinking-what-the-fuck-I'm-doing-through,'" Leorio snapped.
"Or that," the Elf mumbled.
"Do you have… any idea what you did to us when you left?" Leorio whispered, tears beginning to fall.
Kurapika choked back another sob. Oh, seeing Leorio cry was the most painful of all. "No. I don't," Kurapika forced out, giving Leorio his well deserved opportunity to give Kurapika the earful of a lifetime.
"You left us alone," Leorio started, voice trembling with emotion. Gon leaned back to pause the television. "We're a family, man. Ya don't do shit like that. We were worried about you! The least you could have done was left a slightly longer note! Kept in contact? Given the slightest hint that something was up with you before just leaving? We thought you'd fucking died! You ran of to fight the fucking Phantom Troupe! And without full training in Sorcery no less! Do you have any idea how much we care about you? Huh? Do you have any inkling of an idea, as to how much suffering you put us through by throwing yourself away."
Kurapika cried silently, shoulders rising guilty up to his pointed ears, head still bowed.
"Do you have any idea… what your absence did to Killua?"
Gon's recoil was not lost on Kurapika… where… was Killua?
"You orphaned him! You were his support system, man! Me and Gon exist, I know, but you? You can't replace a mother figure. And as much as we joke around about it, that bond is a serious thing. And you completely brushed it off like it was nothing. And what about Gon and me? You're still an important figure in Gon's life… and… and in mine. That shit hurt, man. And what is this, just showing up out of the blue? Drifting out of our lives entirely and then drifting back in like nothing happened at all?!"
Kurapika sobbed, shoulders shaking. He turned his eyes up to meet Leorio's, bangs hanging messily into his face and sticking to the snot and tears all over his cheeks. "I know! What I did was unforgivable and I–"
Kurapika gasped. Leorio threw himself out of his wheelchair and into Kurapika. He tackled the Elf to the ground, pinning him down in his endless embrace. Kurapika laid on his back in shock, all too aware of Leorio's limp legs, and his wince of pain when he'd landed down.
"I'm so glad you're back, man," the Goblin sobbed into Kurapika's ear.
That was it. The final straw. Kurapika broke down all over again, a whole nother wave of tears. Just like before.
"Okay…" Leorio crooked after gods only knew how long. "I'm gonna need a little help sitting up, cause I do happen to be paralyzed from the waist down."
Kurapika couldn't help but chuckle through his tears. He sat up, pushing Leorio along with him. The Elf arranged his dead legs into a comfortable sitting position, the Goblin smiling sweetly at him in thanks.
Gon was fidgeting off to the side, still hiding behind Leorio's wheelchair.
"Gon, get over here, you little shit," Leorio sighed, beckoning with a grin.
The hybrid choked up, and rushed over, sliding into the older two and wrapping them up in a suffocating embrace. Whelp. Time for the third wave of crying. After all these years of keeping his tears stuffed up inside… suddenly Kurapika just couldn't contain them any longer. All his tears from seven years of suffering and pain came spilling out, cushioned in the embrace of his dear friends.
But still… where was Killua?
The three males finally pulled away, and Gon carried Leorio back to his wheelchair. The trio sat down at the kitchen table… Killua's absence all too obvious.
"Please… what happened while I was gone?" Kurapika begged. What pain did my absence cause you?
Leorio gave him a knowing look. Understanding exactly what was going through that brain of his. "It's a really involved story… a whole lot went down… and let's just say it wasn't pretty. For now… just go to sleep. You clearly need it."
"Where's…" There was that flinch from Gon again. He knew exactly what Kurapika was about to ask. "Killua?"
The mood immediately darkened. Leorio looking sad and Gon looking ready to punch through a wall.
…What on earth?
"That's… Gon's story to tell, I think," Leorio murmured.
"Don't wanna talk about it," the hybrid ground out.
The Goblin and the hybrid shared a tense look. Clearly something had gone down revolving around Killua… and Leorio and Gon were on different sides of whatever that was. Kurapika's mind buzzed with possibilities, with dread. How had Leorio gotten hurt? And what the hell was happening with Killua?
"Let's get you to bed, Kurapika," Gon sighed.
Conversation officially over, if one could even call it that.
"It's great to have you back… I have my next battle tomorrow. On the 394th floor. I'll definitely complete the tower after this. It would really mean a lot if you came and watched."
Kurapika smiled, tears rising in his eyes once again. "Of course I'll come."
Gon returned the smile, weak as it was. He then led Kurapika to his room, which had clearly been kept clean all these painful weeks. Gon's hands were still trembling, and when they stopped at Kurapika's doorframe… he started crying again.
"Killua…" the hybrid whimpered, before shaking his head. "Never mind."
Kurapika gazed down at the younger male, concerned for him. He wrapped Gon up in another embrace. "It'll be alright. I'm not sure what's going on, but everything will turn out alright."
"...I don't think that's possible for this time… but thanks. At least I have you here… at least you came back."
Kurapika's heart broke in two, but there was nothing more he could do or say, for Gon was retreating back down the hallway. His hair was droopy and unwashed, his footsteps dragging against the hardwood and his shoulders slackened and low.
He seemed… depressed.
Kurapika wiped the tears from his eyes, and slipped into his bedroom.
After all he'd done… after all the pain his absence had caused… Gon and Leorio had welcomed him back with open arms. It was enough to make him start crying again. They really were too good for him. Kurapika didn't deserve those two…
For the first time in over a month, Kurapika fell into a deep and dreamless slumber.
Finally allowing himself to rest, knowing that he was back where he belonged once more.
…
Kurapika awoke late in the morning. He cracked his eyes open, lashes sticking together with sticky sleep gunk. He dragged himself from the bed, and took a well needed shower. He trudged into his closet, and put on a fresh pair of clothes. He'd been wearing that same tabard and set of underclothes for more than a month… and yet Chrollo still…
The Elf shook such cobwebs from his thoughts, and pulled on a pair of skinny jeans and a knitted sweater. He walked slowly into the main area of the apartment, still feeling a little out of place considering all he'd stirred up last night.
In the kitchen he found Leorio brewing coffee, rolling himself back and forth across the kitchen. Kurapika stood against the wall of the hallway, watching the Goblin buzz about like a worker ant.
He glanced up, catching Kurapika in the act. A grin crossed his face. "Well good morning, sleeping beauty!"
Usually Kurapika would have berated Leorio for taunting him so early in the morning, but today the Goblin's antics only served to bring a smile to his face. He'd missed this so much. He'd missed Leorio so much. The guy had really turned out to be his best friend, goofy and insufferable as he was.
"Here, I made it just how you like it!" Leorio declared, clearly proud of himself as he pushed a mug across the counter. "Black and bitter like your soul!"
Kurapika rolled his eyes, chuckling as he drank in that welcomed smell of raw coffee.
"Where's Gon?" the Elf asked as he sat at the counter, Leorio in his wheelchair across from him.
"He already left, said he wanted to have some serious warm up time… he's… stopped training, you know."
"What?"
"Ever since Killua… left."
Kurapika leaned forward, heart speeding up. He had to know. He was so worried about the kid. "Killua left? Why?"
Leorio scratched the back of his head, eyes sad and turned down. "Not… exactly. I'd rather Gon tell the story but…"
Kurapika sighed. "It's alright. Tell me how you ended up in the wheelchair instead?"
"Oh! That's easy! I had my 300th floor battle!"
"What?! Congratulations! Or rather.. What happened during the battle?"
Leorio's scaly cheeks darkened in their strange way. "Well… I wasn't strong enough to make it. My opponent took me out. He punched clean through my stomach," the Goblin gave a nervous laugh. "Even fractured my spine. That's why I'm on these devilish meds to keep my lower half paralyzed. No walking till my spine is fully healed."
Kurapika got the feeling that wasn't the full story, but he didn't want to pry. Gon's fight was soon anyways, and he didn't want to miss it.
…
Leorio and Kurapika sat side by side in the stands, the Goblin in a special seat made for wheelchairs. The arena was loud as ever, it seemed. Even though Kurapika had been in this very building just the day before… it didn't feel quite real until now. It was like he hadn't been in the Arena in ages.
It was weird thinking about how he'd beaten the entire tower and earned his prize.
He hadn't specifically told Gon and Leorio that, but they likely suspected as much.
But something was still eating at him. Gon never left early. Not even on early morning fight days like today. Him and Killua would always horse around in the kitchen for hours on end before Kurapika would have to physically chase them out of the apartment to prevent them from missing their matches. Since when did Gon leave on time? And of his own accord?
Kurapika knew that Gon didn't know who his opponent was, that he hadn't checked the schedules at all since Benjamin… yeah. Leorio had told Gon about that. About how Gon had flipped out on him, vowing to kill him. And he had. In a most horrific way.
But Killua was still missing from that story.
Killua was still missing from all of this.
The announcer cheerfully called Gon's name, and he walked out onto the arena floor. That's right… walked. No waving, not dancing from foot to foot. Not even a determined grin. He didn't scan the audience. He didn't pose for the announcer.
It was like, with Killua gone… Gon was in black and white instead of in color.
All his happiness, all his trademark kiddish joy, it was all just… gone.
It was driving Kurapika up a tree with worry. For both those boys.
"Leorio. Please. I know Gon doesn't want to talk about it, but it clearly needs to be said. Where is Killua?"
The Goblin frowned. "I agree. Gon doesn't… he's really having trouble right now. He doesn't wanna acknowledge what's happened, he doesn't wanna think about it. You wouldn't believe how much trouble I had to go through just to get him to open up about it… cause I was unconscious though it all."
"It happened when you were injured?" Kurapika asked, not following.
"Yeah… but there's more to it than that. It all started going down hill when–"
Leorio trailed off.
And Kurapika didn't blame him.
Both of them were completely transfixed with who was walking onto the arena floor.
"Gon's opponent on our 394th floor is…"
The audience roared.
Though Kurapika and Leorio were doing anything but cheering.
Gon's final opponent was–
Killua?!
