As th e door shut behind Marty and Charlie, Jack found himself with renewed hesitation. ----How am I gonna do this? I can't leave.---- He sighed loudly.

"Jack." Sam called to him. Seeing his obvious dread, she decided to tell him the truth, even if he wasn't ready for it. Jack turned to her at the sound of his name, seeming to know that she was about to tell him whether or not life would be worth living three months from now. "I'm just going to come out and say this because I don't know how to sugar coat it." Jack nodded his understanding and sat down next to her. "If this is the first Abydos mission, you're going to go through the Stargate with Daniel to another world." Jack's eyes regained a little of their light. Sam closed her eyes tightly and took a deep breath before continuing. "The problem is that it's a suicide mission. You're supposed to destroy the Stargate on the Abydos side."

Jack looked up at her, apprehension in his eyes. "But you said that I died ten years from now. That's not how you described it." He wasn't questioning her, just asking for an explanation.

"At the time everyone thought that because of the recent… umm… accident-"

"You mean with Charlie."

"Uhh… right... they thought you'd be suicidal… that you'd… want to…"

"But I'm not, and I don't!"

"I know. I don't understand it. The timing's not right either. I'm supposed to be involved before the mission."

Jack could feel it in his bones. There was no way, no matter what he was going through could he possibly complete the mission orders Sam was describing, in any time line. "I didn't destroy the gate."

"No, you didn't." She smiled at him. A real 'light the room up' smile. She was proud of that moment in the future Jack O'Neill's life. He proved his worth to her in that moment which seemed, to her, so long ago. In fact, although she'd never admit it, that was probably one of the moments that made her love him. Even though it happened before she actually met him. "You didn't destroy anything. You managed to take out the 'bad guys,' get your men home, and in effect, start the Stargate program. You're a hero."

Jack realized that he didn't really care about the mission, and that whether it took 3 months, 3 days, 3 years, or 3 seconds, the only thing he really cared about was whether or not he'd have a Samantha Carter to come home to after it was over. He turned to her then and looked at her. ----God, I need her.---- His stomach ached terribly. He knew that by the end of the evening, no matter the outcome, good or bad, he'd be an emotional train wreck. Risk taking was part of the life he chose for himself. So, without thinking about it any further, he took a risk. "Will you be here when I get back?"

Not realizing what Jack was actually asking her, Sam took his question as 'where will you be when I get back?' She really wasn't sure where she would be assigned in three months time. She should be gearing up for her involvement in the Stargate program, but she wasn't sure, especially now, so she answered honestly. "I don't know."

Jack let out a painful breath and turned away from Sam. He felt as if whatever was holding him up suddenly disappeared and left his insides to fall into his shoes. Instantly he began to berate himself. ----What was I thinking? God, I'm so dumb sometimes! She's beautiful, and young, and smart. How could I even think that she'd give up three months of her life waiting for a cranky old bastard like me?----

He looked absolutely defeated and Sam was confused. "Jack, nothing is going along with the timeline I came from. In three months time I could be anywhere."

----Pull it together Jack, you're making her feel sorry for you and uncomfortable.---- "I know Sam, I'm sorry, I just thought that… well… I wanted something to… ah crap" Jack couldn't seem to stop the flood of words coming out of his mouth. He knew that if he didn't regain his composure he was definitely going to start begging her to wait for him. "I was just hoping that we could…" He looked at her and saw something that gave him a reason to keep breathing: Confusion. For half a second hope burst into his mind and his heart. ----Could it be possible that she actually has no idea what it is that I'm asking her?---- Figuring that he already made an ass of himself, he took that one step further to make his intentions abundantly clear. He took her hand and looked into her eyes. "Sam, I'm not asking you if you'll be HERE on THIS BASE."

"You're not?"

"No." Jack was gaining confidence, but his stomach was getting tighter and his nerves were raw.

Realization started to dawn on Sam, and with it excitement. She moved to invade Jack's personal space; getting closer to him made her skin flush, and her pulse quicken. She put the hand he wasn't holding on his cheek and looked him in the eyes before asking: "What are you asking me Jack?"

Her voice was breathy and her words came out in a half whisper that was tormenting him. He wanted to kiss her. Long and hot and hard. But at the same time he just wanted to hear her tell him that she'd wait for him, that she felt as much for him as he did for her. He couldn't speak though. Not with her so close to him, touching him. He didn't understand how he could have such basic urges and such overwhelming sensitivity revolving around the same person. It was driving him quickly insane. He couldn't figure out how he could possibly want someone with such ferocity and still love them so tenderly. It was tearing him apart.

He pulled away from her enough to think a bit more clearly and decided to lay it all on the table. "Sam, I wanted to know if you'd… wait for me?"

She moved closer to him again. "If I'd wait for you?"

"You're not making this easy you know." He said on a sigh.

She smiled at him, and totally knocked him off balance when she moved in and took his lips.

"Oh God…" He moaned softly. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her on top of him and gave himself over to the kiss. "I love you." Sam froze. The kiss stopped. Jack was surprised at the suddenness and missed the feeling of her soft lips terribly. ----Oh please don't tell me I said that out loud!----

Sam pulled away, but only enough to look in his eyes. "What did you just say?"

There was no escaping her. It was the truth and he was never really the type of person to hide, so he swallowed loudly and repeated himself clearly. "I love you."

She grabbed him so tightly she nearly knocked the wind out of him. He thought she was crying so he started to rub her back soothingly. Then he noticed that she was saying something. Whispering it in his ear. "I never thought I'd hear you say that… I'll wait for you Jack… I've been waiting forever… I love you."

Jack let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Suddenly everything felt ok. Even better than ok. He loved her and she loved him. Everything else would figure itself out. For once Jack O'Neill had a good shot at being happy. He held Sam close, enjoying the feel of her body on him. He took a deep breath and as he let it out he felt like a new day was beginning.

That's how Marty and Charlie found them. They were half dozing on the small couch when Marty and Charlie came back. Sam heard the door shut, but was too groggy to move quickly. She had just managed to sit up when Charlie bounded in and hopped up on the couch.

"Hi Sam!"

"Hey Charlie. What flavor ice cream did you get?"

"The green flavor."

"The green flavor?"

"Pistachio." Marty interjected. Then he turned to Jack. "Everything ok?"

Jack looked at Sam and then answered. "Yep, everything's fine."

Marty left soon after that claiming that he was on duty early in the morning. Jack insisted that he was lying but let him go just the same. Sam stayed later into the evening, and finally left just after Jack tucked Charlie in.

Jack walked her to the door. "Are you sure you won't stay?"

"Nah. As tempting as that offer is, I'd rather-"

"You'd rather wait. I figured that." He smiled at her through the corner of his mouth and then stepped toward her. "I can get a good night kiss right?" She smiled and stepped into his arms. He kissed her gently, making her toes curl and seriously shaking her resolved to leave. But just as she felt her inhibitions start to take flight, he ended the kiss. "I'll see you tomorrow."

She looked at him just before she turned to the door. He looked rumpled, and messy, and totally adorable. "Get some sleep Jack. You look like hell."

He grinned sheepishly at her, and couldn't resist one last attempt at making her stay. "You could stay here and make sure I get some rest."

She opened the door and tossed a comment over her shoulder as she walked out. "If I stayed, you definitely wouldn't be resting." Then the door closed, and Jack sagged into it.

"I'm never going to be able to sleep now!" He said to the empty room.

----

Saying goodbye to Marty, Charlie, and Sam felt like the hardest thing he had ever done, but the kiss Sam left him with was so full of promise that he could hardly wait to get to Colorado. ----The sooner I get there, the sooner this thing gets finished, and I get to come back.----

He ended up at the mountain complex three hours before he was scheduled for a briefing. In that time he wanted to try and acquaint himself with the base as much as possible. He ended up running directly into Dr. Daniel Jackson. Well, truthfully, Daniel ended up walking into him.

"Oomph! I am so sorry."

"That's ok, I'm a little lost here, my fault."

"Well then, I'd be happy to show you around. I'm Daniel Jackson."

----Well, he sure does look geeky enough to be the Daniel Sam told me about.---- "Colonel Jack O'Neill." Jack held out his hand. Daniel seemed reluctant to take it.

"You're Jack?" He asked in disbelief.

Jack looked around before answering. "Uhh… that's the name on my underwear. Is there something wrong?" Daniel still didn't shake Jack's hand, so Jack dropped it to his side.

"Um.. no.. it's just that you're not at all what I expected. You seem very… uhh… calm. I'm sorry, probably not the best first impression to make."

"All right then Danny-boy… why don't we try this again? I'm Jack O'Neill."

This time Daniel put his hand out. "Daniel Jackson. It's a pleasure to finally meet you."

----

Later that day Jack found out about the Stargate, and the planned trip through it. He spent a lot of time with Daniel, but was careful not to mention too much about what Sam had already told him about the program, or what to expect. He did happen to overhear someone saying that they needed to bring some more 'intelligence' into the project, and he could swear that he heard a 'Captain Carter' mentioned. This brought a smile to his face, but with it came a terrible longing and homesickness. ----I wish we could just get this show on the road.----

----

Five months later

There had been no word from Jack. With each passing day Sam grew more and more depressed. She was absolutely miserable. ----What have I done? I should have known better than to come back here! Jack is gone. I don't even know if he's still alive!---- She was miserable. Marty and Charlie would occasionally come to visit. Marty tried to comfort her the best he could, but as the days wore on and still there was no news about Jack, even he had few words of comfort.

Charlie was starting to lose his fire. Slowly a darkness was creeping in behind his eyes. As time went on he insisted on seeing Sam more regularly and soon he was spending most of his time with her. They seemed to cope better when they were together.

Early one evening Sam was in her quarters sitting at the small table across from Charlie. The sun was just about setting. Sam yawned. Charlie looked up suddenly.

"What was that?"

"Just a yawn."

"No, not that. I think there's someone at your door."

"I didn't hear anything."

Then there was a knock.

"Hear it that time?"

Sam threw him a small smile before going to the door. ----He's just like his father.---- That thought sent a pain stabbing into her gut. It was a familiar pain that only caused her to stop briefly before continuing to the door. "It's probably Marty checking up on us."

When she opened the door she nearly collapsed. In fact the only thing that kept her standing upright was that as soon as she opened the door. Jack pulled her into a tight embrace.