At the end of the month, Killua and Gon had successfully mastered Ko. Luckily for Gon, there weren't any more incidents during the night. No… now that he'd re-acknowledged that darkest and lowest part of his life, he was back to having nightmares about that time. About Meleoron's corpse in his arms…

But now Killua was a part of them.

It would be Killua bleeding out in his arms… not Meleoron.

Gon would be at one of those wild parties… only it would be horrifying, chokingly overstimulating. He'd see Killua flash in and out of the writhing bodies, screaming as he drowned in the smoky air. Gon would rush to help him, but then he'd be sucked out of his body. Watching from a distance as his dream self took a pill and joined the sea of bodies trampling and drowning Killua.

It was horrible.

All that guilt… all that shame. It was all just coming back.

Kite had gotten him out, had woken him up. He'd brought Gon along with him, taught him how to fight better. Gotten him back into fighting shape. Trained him in the art of the hunt. And through it all, he'd become like the father Gon had never had.

He talked Gon through all the messed up shit that had happened to him… all the messed up shit he'd gotten himself into. Kite had told him that all that crap was behind him now. That it was never too late to move on. It was never too late to make a change for the better.

Kite helped Gon heal from all that crap. He helped him get sober, and leave his bad habits behind. Kite showed Gon that it was alright to drive, and he was finally able to put Knuckle, Shoot, and Meleoron to rest. Sometimes Gon would think about Jade, but Kite would always slap him upside the head whenever he did.

Jade was a terrible influence on him, Kite would declare.

If she had really been Gon's friend, then she would have actually helped him, and not sucked him into her own world of pain. She wouldn't have gotten him into that terrible contract.

Over time, and with Kite's help and guidance, Gon had been able to relearn life. He woke himself up. He didn't need drugs and sex to be happy. Those things were mundane, and bad for his mental health. He needed to find joy in real things, not artificial entertainment. Gon had found his passion for life once again, and Kite showed him that even if it was hard to see sometimes, the good part of the world still existed.

Gon fought with Kite to protect the good in the world.

Gon owed Kite… so much.

Even though it had all gone so horribly wrong.

But now, there was no Kite to shake Gon out of his stupidity. To slap him upside the head and bark at him to quit his moping.

"Strength isn't pushing aside your emotions," Kite would say. "Strength is acknowledging your emotions, and accepting them as a part of you. Only then can you expel the negative feelings, and fully embrace the good ones."

Gon was trying to follow that advice, he really was! But it was just… hard, was all. Gon had really fucked himself up back then. When he'd gotten lost in his own mind, he'd gotten really lost.

Now he was left with this confusion… this inability to tell the difference between love and lust. He'd lost touch with the more physical side of love, he'd completely warped it in his own mind. He'd used that part of him to try and fill the holes inside him, and now he saw that as a… as a bad thing. This passion he had for Killua… Gon couldn't tell if it was that empty hunger from before, or if it was love and dedication.

Gon… he really liked Killua. He cared about Killua more than anything.

He knew that he liked Killua so much more than a friend, but with that like came this mass of physical emotions. And Gon… didn't have the best track record with those. Gon was terrified that he was just wanting to use Killua like he had all those other people.

Nothing scared him more than that.

He couldn't do that to Killua… never.

Killua was his best friend! Gon had to protect him! Even if he was protecting Killua from himself…

As they trained, Gon was at war in his mind. As they ran to their next stop, practicing more Ren and Ko as they went, Gon was always thinking. He was using the training as an outlet for his conflicting emotions… he wasn't proud of it, but it was a hard habit to break. Because of that, it was taking him a hell of a lot of effort to think all this through.

Before, Gon had gotten really depressed and angry with the world. He'd turned to sex to distract him from everything around him, jumping to the best distraction he could get his hands on. It had been all consuming… and it always completely wiped his mind of all those troublesome thoughts.

But now, having moved past that, and those feelings being back and directed at the person Gon cared about the most…

He really needed to do some soul searching.

Why did he like Killua so much? Was it just because they were friends? Was it because Killua was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen? Or was it something else.

As their training dragged on, that's what Gon occupied his wandering thoughts with.

Why did he like Killua like this?

And just how far deep did these feelings run?

He needed to figure out if these were just surface emotions… or if they were much, much more.

"Ah, the second stage of our training!" Bisky cooed.

Killua drank in a deep breath. Their next stopping place was on a cliff, suspended high up on the side of a mountain range. There was an enormous jungle off to the side, and a clear water spring if they climbed a little bit further up the rocks.

Okay… fine.

He kind of… liked, training with Bisky.

But only a little bit!

It wasn't like he… liked Bisky as a person! No damn way!

She was most certainly NOT his second adopted mother (third, counting Chrollo).

"How did you sleep last night, Killua?" she asked, a caring smile on her face.

"Pretty good, it's all thanks to your palm weaving skills, though! And my favorite pillow," he added, shoving Gon with his shoulder. The hybrid snickered and shoved back.

"Aw, I'm glad! How about you, Gon?"

"I slept pretty alright," he said simply.

Killua glanced at Gon out the corner of his eye. Gon had been acting a little… off lately. Maybe it was just training, but it seemed like something was on Gon's mind. He was tense, focused. He would stare off into space sometimes. Not to mention how awkward he'd get at random.

A smirk crept onto Killua's face.

Oh? Gon?

Was there something on his mind, perhaps?

Warmth tingled in Killua's chest, he had a feeling. A small feeling, but it was proven further with every passing day.

"Now, down to business!" Bisky declared, gathering the two boys' attention. "The next stage of our training will be the mastery of a new technique! Called Ken! Tell me, what is the fatal flaw of Ko?"

"It's too powerful for use in close combat?" Gon guessed.

"Wrong! Killua?"

"When you use Ko, there is only Magic on one part of your body. It leaves the rest of you completely exposed."

"Correct! Fabulous job, Killua!" Biscuit praised. The Valkyrie swished his tail behind him in pleasure. Something about making Bisky proud felt so incredibly fulfilling. But NOT in the way you'd be happy to please a mother, definitely not! Killua reFUSED to accept this stupid old hag as an important authoritative figure in his life!

Even if she was really great to talk to…

Honestly, being able to talk to Biksy about it was the only reason he'd been able to get over all that trauma from the Yorknew City job so fast.

"Ken, in nature, is a more advanced form of Ko," Bisky explained. "Ko is perfect for learning Bloodletting, but it is not very useful in battle. Ken, however, molds the principles of Ko into a weapon to be used at our disposal. Like Ko, Ken is activated using Ren and Bloodletting. However, rather than allowing the Magic to amass on its own into Ko, you must control the reaction! Spreading it all across your body!"

Biscuit drew a knife, slitting her wrist as she activated Ren. Bisky's use of Magic was so skilled, so incredibly practiced and smooth. Killua looked up to her a whole lot.

The blonde angel demonstrated Ken, allowing the blood to mix with her Ren. Just like she said, as the reaction spurred to life, she kept the newly boosted Energy encased around her body. It was like she was using Ko in the place of a Ren shield.

"This is Ken!" Bisky declared, her entire body glowing white. It was like she was gilded in some spectacular crystal, but Killua knew it was her Magic. "You remember how hard Ko was to control at first?" she asked.

Gon and Killua nodded.

"Ken will be even harder to control, because you are not allowing the Magic to go where it wants. You are forcing it to work at your command. Do not expect to get the hang of this ability on the first try, it will be challenging."

"Osu!" the two boys exclaimed.

"Now then! Shall we get started? It should take the two of you one week to master Ken at the level of Energy you currently have at your disposal. Keep in mind that Ken drains quite a bit from your Blood Energy Pocket. The activation will require not just more blood, but more Ren as well. For the remainder of the three weeks we will spend here, you will be spending time in Ten meditation and increasing your Magical Stamina. Once your Ken is strong enough to sustain a blast from my Ko at half strength, it will be acceptable."

"Osu!"

"Well? What are you standing around for! We only have one month to get this done!"