This is just some random, funny fic that came to me in a brilliant vision at Boy
Scouts. Please R&R.
Shell life
Insane asylum:
Bowser: Oh, it's my turn to tell my feelings? Well, okay, if you say so. I have
two things to say. First, WHY IS THIS STORY ARCHIVED IN "MARIO"?
THIS IS SO RETARTED! MY AUTHOR IS AN IDIOT! THERE SHOULD
BE A SEPRETE CATEGORY FOR BOWSER! I MEAN, AREN'T I
GREAT? AREN'T I!
Second, MARIO IS THE SECOND BIGGEST RETARD NEXT TO
MY AUTHOR! I mean, one day, I was strolling down mushroom bridge, and
I spot this hot chick called Peach, and I start to hit on her. I tell her that I am
the king of all Koopas, and she says that she wants to come to my castle.
So, when I take her to my castle, she starts to strip and starts giving my son
STRANGE IDEAS. So, I lock her up in a cage, and she starts yelling, Mario,
Mario, come save me! And then this moronic plumber beats up all my minions,
and he comes to my castle, and I'm all like, whoa, this is all a big
misunderstanding. But he beats me up anyway!
Mario pisses me off, bigtime. I mean, when Luigi and Peach are making out in
the closet, he doesn't get mad at all. When Peach and Daisy are making out in
the close, he might do inappropriate things to both, but he doesn't get mad!
But when I make out with Peach in the closet, he's all like, oh no you didn't!
and starts beating me up!
Luigi isn't any better. I mean, King Boo locks me up in a stupid painting, and
when Luigi tries to save Mario (Luigi must be a big fag, why would anyone
want to save him? He must be gay.) King Boo possesses me and lets me get
beat up while he is unharmed. Then Luigi chops my head off, and King Boo
runs away! Can you believe it? And then he just leaves my body there and saves
his brother. I'm like, hey, little help over here. But NO! No one has common
courtesy anymore. They could at least give me a funeral.
Mario is also a CHILD MOLESTER! I mean, I take a vacation with my son to
isle delfino, we swim in the hot tub, drink some beer, and enslave the Pinnas.
Hey, there just chubby morons who can only make good beer.
Mmmmm…..Beer…Anyway, Mario comes up the volcano and is all mad,
because he thinks I kidnapped Peach. FYI! I don't want her! She is a crazed
stripper who likes to do inappropriate things! Then Mario starts beating
up my son, and, I have every legal right to this, I start attacking him with my
fireballs. Then he kills me and kidnaps my son!
So, after that mishap, I decide to take my son go-karting. Big Mistake. Mario
and Luigi hit my kart with a fire-ball, and when I'm about to kill him with a
shell, Peach and Daisy steal it and throw it back at me! Then, Baby Mario and
Baby Luigi kill me with a chain chomp! Then, even my homies Wario and
Waluigi hit me with a bomb! Totally terrorist! Then DK and Diddy make me
slip on a DN banana! Then, my servent Peaty Piranah teams up with that
idiot King Boo, and they run me over with every item imaginable!
Then some creep called Master Hand kidnaps me, and puts me in this fighting
game. I think, cool, I get to kill Mario. But no! He puts me against a level 9
Captain Falcon, who again, beats the crap out of me! So, after that, before I
even get to put one ace bandage on, Master Hand puts me against some copy
of myself called Giga Bowser, who starts to beat the crap out of me! Then the
crowd starts chanting "Giga Bowser! Giga Bowser!" And I'm all like, what the
heck? I'm the real Bowser! Cheer for me! And then the crowd starts throwing
invincible stars at Giga, and he does a Bowser Bomb (MY MOVE) and, since
he is as fat as the whole dang Final Destination stage, and he sends me to the
emergency room!
I have something else to say. Mario was in insane case even when he was a
baby! My main koopa, Kamek, is an excellent babysitter, and he was taking
care of baby Luigi, and he lost baby Mario. Then the Yoshi's found him, and
taught him the ways of evil! Then a Yoshi comes to my house, and beats up me,
a harmless, undefended child!
Then, one time, some idiot kidnapped me and brought me to dinosaur land.
Then I meet these people who say they are my kids. ANOTHER FYI: My only
son is Bowser Jr. So these "Kids" of mine all die, and Mario goes on another of
his rants, and again, kills me!
Kamek: Okay, Bowser, time to go back to reality. Now, it's ni-ni
time! (Kamek pulls out syringe)
Bowser: Snore….
and now you know, why Bowser hates Mario so much! Thank you! REVIEW
ME, or Bowser will kill you! (as long as you are not a level ning c. falcon)
