Title: Triduction
Chapter: 3/4; Seduction
Rating:
M
Pairing(s): Main- Yami/Yuugi; Side- Jou/Seto, Ryou/Baku, Malik/Marik
Genre: Humor / Romance
Warnings: Yaoi, sex, sex talk, sexual references, persuasion to have sex, citrus, perverted Yami, seduction, coarse language, rap, and extreme OOCness. xDDD NO FULL LEMONS (s'not like I can write them x.X), but Yami tries… Heh… The rating is high for a REASON!

Summary: (YAOI – WARNING: Rating is high for a reason!) Yami wants sex. Yuugi's not ready. But Yami's insistent. What's up his sleeve? Trickery? Seduction? Both, of course! It's triduction: Yami no Yuugi style.

Disclaimer: I've made this fic, and that's quite enough for me! n.n I do not own Home Alone. I also do not own The Da Vinci Code, or What's Your Fantasy. They respectively belong to their makers, the wonderful writer who has also published works such as Angels & Demons, Deception Point, and Digital Fortress, and the talented rapper with many awesome albums and singles out there, of those including songs like Get Back, Stand Up, and Pimpin' All Over the World.

(I'm playing it safe here, m'kay? I don't want this deleted just 'cause I said a name. -.- Like Just Carry On… FUCK IT ALL!) Anywhoosle, I do not own, and you know that.

Note: Same note as the last chapter, excluding the staring blah thing.

And I'd like to thank all my reviewers! I love you all! WHoOoOoOoOoOo! n.n Heh…Imma ghost. X.x MORE! ./glomp/

And I'd also like to track down redconvoy. If you're out there, reddy (xDDD …Sorry. X.xU), I've decided not to use the Easy Money idea. It was awesome and all, but I am eager to finish this yaoi fic quickly without much thought, seeing that this is a pretty much pointless fic. But thanks for the suggestion! This fic is going where I initially planned, with four chapters full of smutty pointlessness. n.n

Ame means rain.

Yuuhi means setting sun.

(Yuugi to Yami)
((Yami to Yuugi)

------

From his prior experience, Yami had learned that tricking Yuugi was a very hard thing to do. It seemed the little tyke was on to his plan, and had been one step in front of him throughout most of the process. The darkness needed a new plan.

The pharaoh flipped through the TV, but stopped when something red caught his eye. He flipped back several channels, and stopped at a 'hit drama.' One teen male, obviously a geek, had a beautiful young lady by the hand. All around him were roses, and the girl looked ecstatic.

"What kind of person falls for someone who looks like that?" Yami thought aloud.

"Oh Yuuhi, I can't believe you did all this for me. All the people I've been with...they've never treated me like this. They've never serenaded me, they've never dedicated songs to me…"

"Ame, you're special. I would do anything for your heart."

"Blah!" Yami rolled his eyes. "Who says that?"

"Well you have it," Ame replied, hugging Yuuhi deeply. Eventually, the embrace broke apart, with Ame's arms wrapped loosely around Yuuhi's neck.

"May I…?" Yuuhi asked awkwardly, trailing off.

"Trailer trash!" Yami yelled at the TV randomly.

Ame giggled and pressed her lips against Yuuhi's.

Yami's eyes widened. "Whoa. For a geeky little guy, he's got moves." The darkness clicked the TV off before the drama could turn into a porn movie. He was just about to rant to himself how that could never happen, but then he had a startling revelation.

What if he could do the same to Yuugi?

Yes. That was perfect.

Yami would seduce Yuugi.

It was the perfect plan.

Operation Banana-y-Goodness

Yami had a little scheme in mind to bed Yuugi. It involved one of the dirtiest fruits in the whole entire world. That's right, my friends: a banana. If he played his cards right, then he could have his hikari practically begging for sex.

Yami grinned in anticipation and looked over his clothes. Tight leather pants? Check. Tight tank tops with fishnet sleeves? Check. Silver chains? Check. Leather buckles that scream out 'I like bondage'? Check. Banana? …Oh right… The banana… Whoops…

Silly Yami.

An hour, twelve fangirls, and a ripped shirt later, Yami was in the kitchen, preparing for his banana seduction-goodness. The pharaoh grabbed a banana and bounced into the living room, where Yuugi was seated, watching an anime marathon on TV. He sat his leather-clad butt on the coffee table, right in front of Yuugi and the television.

"Yami…?"

Yami unpeeled the banana.

"Yami."

Yami held it ready in his palm, the yellow peels drooping over his fingers.

"Yami! You're in the way of the TV."

Yami switched the TV off and slouched over, his elbows resting on his knees.

"I was watching that, Yami," Yuugi whined cutely with an irresistible pout that made Yami want to jump the boy and make love to him right then and there. "He was about to rip out his brother's throat."

…Okay, that was just scary…

…But then again, a sadist in the bedroom was definitely a turn on.

Yami lifted the tip of the banana of the banana to his lips seductively, his eyes glued to Yuugi's form.

Yuugi stared at Yami in confusion.

Yami smirked and the game began. He sucked on that poor banana as if he were actually trying to milk the real live thing, and even went so far as to moan several times.

The dark's suggestively waggling eyebrows went unnoticed when Yuugi leaned over from his position on the couch and took the banana from his hand.

Yami's excitement grew. His little love was catching on.

(Thanks for the snack, Yami, but next time, please don't drool all over it.)

Yami cringed when Yuugi's sharp little teeth bit- no, chomped- onto the fruit. He whimpered as Yuugi practically ripped the tip of the banana from its base, and he squeaked in horror when his light went in for another bite.

He couldn't handle it. It was too terrifying to bear. The pharaoh screamed (girlishly) and ran out of the house with his hands plastered to the sides of his head like that crazy little boy from Home Alone.

Operation Banana-y-Goodness: Failed

------

Operation Pickup Lines

Yami was sitting on the couch one day with a shocking revelation spiraling in that mummified mind of his. The only way to seduce Yuugi was to smooth talk him. It was just that obvious.

Ah- here came Yuugi. The plan was go.

"Morning love," Yuugi greeted, nestling himself on his dark's lap.

"Morning," Yami replied, lying down against the armrest.

The two shifted a bit until in a comfortable position. Yami's back was propped up against a bunch of pillows with Yuugi's head on his chest.

"You know, Yuugi," Yami said, breaking the silence, "you're so hot that…that if I put you in a freezer- no- Alaska! If I put you in Alaska, you wouldn't get cold."

Yuugi raised his eyebrows. "Um…okay then…" He stifled a giggle.

"Uh…" Yami decided to trek on. "Yuugi, you're so sweet that you were probably a sugar cane that got turned into a human!"

Yuugi's eyebrows were in dire danger of being swallowed by his hairline. "Are you saying that I'm a plant?"

"No! I was saying that you were a plant."

Yuugi rolled his eyebrows.

"Uh…uhh…" Think, handsome, think! "You're so pretty, you could pass as a girl!"

Yuugi's mouth flew open. "What? Did you just call me a girl?"

"No- you just look like one! It's a compliment, Yuugi."

Yuugi glared and tried to wiggle off Yami's lap.

Yami's mind raced. "Uh…um… Your beauty is so radiant that it blinds me."

"Oh, so now I blind you, do I?" Yuugi rolled off Yami, but the darkness grabbed his wrist.

Um… Maybe Yuugi was seduced enough to give into the temptation…

"Hey love, wanna do it?"

Yuugi wrenched his hand from Yami's. "NO."

…Or maybe not.

Operation Pickup Line: Failed

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Operation 'To Serenade, or Not To Serenade?'

Yuugi watched Jounouchi gobble up half a slice of pizza in one bite. It was amazing how big he could open that thing that was his mouth without consuming the entire ozone layer. He took his own modest bite and gazed at Ryou and Malik, who were playing a Duel Monsters game, and Anzu and Honda, who were arguing about the latest episode of Yuu Yuu Hakusho. The six were having a semi-party in Yuugi's upstairs room.

The lovers of four certain males were not in the room, because it was common knowledge that the said lovers would always try to rouse up some kinky games of Spin the Bottle and Truth or Dare. It was fun the first time, but then it got kind of creepy the way they kept on drooling…

"Yeah…"

Yuugi looked up from his pizza slice and out the window. He could have sworn he had heard something…

"Yeah…"

Now he knew he had heard something…

"Yeah…"

"Hey, guys…you hear that?"

"Yeah… Give it to me now; give it to me now. Give it to me now; give it to me now…"

Everyone's ears seemed to simultaneously perk, and twelve eyes swiveled to the window.

"I wonder what it is…"

Ryou and Malik abandoned their game, Anzu and Honda ditched their argument, and Jounouchi reluctantly left his pizza. Then with a thoughtful eye, he grabbed it again and brought it to the now open window, where his five other comrades were.

"Oh no, oh no, oh no…" Yuugi muttered, holding his face in his hands.

Jounouchi took a bite out of his pizza and looked down, only to start laughing.

Yami stood below the window with a cordless microphone in his hand. He wore black shades, and surprisingly, a black stocking cap over his colorful spikes. Instead of his usual black leather, he was donned in a baggy white shirt, and baggy black pants that looked like they were made of both nylon and denim at the same time, the crotch of the pants down at his knees.

In back of him was a DJ's station, and behind the station was no other than…

Seto Kaiba. He was dressed in similar garb, except the black was replaced with a light blue color.

Malik and Ryou started to snigger when they saw their counterparts. The two yamis were also there, clad in the same thing, save the colors, which were modified to an emerald green and a royal gold.

Yuugi left the safe confines of his hands, abandoning his muttered mantra. "Yami! What do you think you're doing?"

Yami showed no indication of being called. Instead, he began to sing.

…But it wasn't singing. Oh, no, the pharaoh was much too high to sing a cheap love song like that 'trailer trash' Yuuhi. He would do something completely original and off the wall.

He would rap.

"I wanna li-li-li-lick you from your head to your toes
And I wanna move from the bed down, to the down to the, to the floor
I wanna ah-ah, you make it so good I don't wanna leave
But I got to kn-kn-kn-know what's your fan-ta-sy."

Then in a higher voice, to sing the female's part, he repeated the chorus.

"I wanna li-li-li-lick you from your head to your toes
And I wanna move from the bed down, to the down to the, to the floor
I wanna ah-ah, you make it so good I don't wanna leave
But I got to kn-kn-kn-know what's your fan-ta-sy."

Yuugi was slowly growing red. "Oh Yami, please don't!"

But Yami continued on. He kept rapping, and rapping, and rapping…

…And rapping, and rapping, and rapping, and rapping…

Seto periodically mixed the track while Bakura and Marik echoed. The rapping just went on and on…

Soon enough, when the song got to its most explicit ("You can li li li lick me from my ass to my clit. And ruba-dub up on my tits while I nu-nut on your lips…"), each teen thought it was about time to shut the window.

…So they did.

Operation 'To Serenade, or Not To Serenade?': Definitely 'not to serenade…'

------

Operation Old School Style

Yami had come to the conclusion that the only way to bed Yuugi was to seduce him old school style: take him on a romantic date.

Yami snuck up on his aibou while he worked on his schoolwork, tapping him on the shoulder.

"Uh-huh? Oh, hi- mmm…"

Yami had his lips pressed against Yuugi's in a (surprisingly) chaste kiss. Pulling away, the dark took his light's hands into his. "Aibou…what do you say about a little tryst? We can go watch a movie."

Yuugi smiled brightly. "Okay!" he agreed. "Let me just finished this assignment." The cherub (Killah: xDDD I just had to put that.) read the first problem, but his smile soon turned into a frown. "Uh…" He glanced up at Yami, then tossed his notebook and textbook at the open closet door. "Done!"

---

"How about there, Aibou? It's right in the center of the theatre, not too close and not too far from the screen."

"It's perfect."

Yuugi and Yami weaved in between legs and feet, finally stopping at two central seats. They sat down, placing their large drink in the cup holder between them and their large bucket of popcorn on Yami's lap.

"It's starting!" Yuugi whispered excitedly.

The darkness dipped his hand into the popcorn bucket and popped a couple of popped kernels into his mouth. He noted that Yuugi's hand automatically moved to and from the popcorn bucket on its own while the boy's eyes were glued to the screen, avidly fixed on the naked, bloody body of Jacques Saunière. Yami wondered what that dead old man had that he didn't… x.X

Yami followed Yuugi's fingers with an avid eye, stalking them with his blood-red cherries, back and forth, up and down, to the bucket, to the mouth… (Killah: Omfg… That almost rhymes if you say it fast enough! Yayness!) He snapped out of his trance-like staring when the screen went dark with only fluorescent purple writing glowing eerily on its surface.

Shaking his head, Yami fake-yawned and stretched his arms, wrapping one limb around his beloved. Yuugi giggled, but his stare was soon fixed upon the screen again.

Yami laughed and used his other hand to pop a couple more kernels into his mouth. Next to him, with rapt attention, Yuugi did the same.

As Robert Langdon learned the reason of why he was truly at the museum- because the authorities suspected him to be the killer of the curator- Yami thought of a plan. Sure, he was in the middle of his beautiful plan of seduction, but that didn't mean he couldn't get a little…something. Get my drift?

The darkness lifted the bucket from his lap and carefully placed it in the empty seat beside him. Within time, Yuugi's hand slowly descended upon his lap. His slim, nimble fingers grazed the space in between Yami's legs, and he bit back a moan. With his confusion apparent, the hands continued to run over the leather-clad bottom half of the pharaoh. Yep…this was heaven.

"Yami, where- Oh!" Yuugi stifled his cry of surprise and turned to Yami. "I'm so sorry!" he whispered urgently. "Did I touch your naughty place?" (Killah: ./whistles innocently/ …What? xDDD)

Yami nodded and let his eyes roll to the top of his head. His light's touch was paradise.

Yuugi blushed invisibly in the blackness of the theatre and leaned over. Yami's excitement grew, but slowly deflated when Yuugi grabbed the popcorn bucket and placed it back onto his lap.

"Um…" Yuugi blushed again. "Just…leave that there and it'll go…away… …Right?" He turned back to the screen and hid his face from Yami for the rest of the movie.

Operation Old School Style: Failed

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Killah: Omfg. I'm sorry for the long wait! ./sniffle/ 1 WHOLE FIGGIN MONTH! MORE EVEN! T-T I was preoccupied with homework and school and decathlon and all that educational junk… I got huge smut block and couldn't figure out a way to end the chapter. That explains the bull-sucky ending… x.X And no, I do not mean that literally. xDDD That's for the next chapter- whoops. Just revealed a little somethin'-somethin', eh? XDDD

Anywhoosle, thanks for reading. If the amount of reviews stays consistent until the end, then I might reach- and maybe break- 100! ./huggles all/ I love you, my reviewers! n.n So…review, please? There's no need to blackmail, because I love you all already!