"Okay, you just gotta relax, alright?" Killua said calmly, gazing deeply into Gon's eyes.
"Yeah, I got it."
"Take a deep breath…"
Gon listened, sucking air in slowly through his nose. Himself and Killua were sitting on a random rock in the middle of the forest, crisscross with knees touching and hands joined. There were only a couple days left in training, and the two of them were working on Spell Sharing. It was really hard, but they were so close to finally getting it. Bisky had told them that this would be a crucial ability to have at their disposal, and that all the hard work would be worth it.
"Close your eyes," Killua murmured, Gon following his every instruction. Killua was a great training leader, especially when it came to Ten meditation. His voice was so soothing… his presence so incredibly calm. Gon was certain that Killua would be the best Sorcery Master ever if he took up the role.
"Focus on the flow of your Ten."
Gon honed in on that steady stream, filling up ever so slowly. Always within him, always moving.
"Now, slowly activate your Ren in unison with me." Gon felt a lazy ripple roll across Killua's Blood Energy Pocket. When they were in the zone like this, it was almost as if they shared the same mind. The same brain. Gon loved this type of training, because it let him get as close to Killua as he possibly could.
"As you breathe out, allow your Ren to coat your body."
Gon obeyed, feeling his Magic slide up against Killua's. Killua's Magic felt like fresh snow. Like endless blue eyes and soft whispers in the night. Like sharp claws and sassy remarks. Like everything Killua was, and everything Gon was in love with.
"Offer up three inches of Ren," Killua instructed softly.
Gon obeyed, and the two of them slowly mixed their Magic together completely. Gon fell into some sort of a trance. He could hear Killua's breathing inside his skull, feel the other boy's thoughts tickling on the edge of his consciousness. Their Magic swirled together, two types of Ren becoming one, until they were both encased in the same shielding of Magic, six inches in total between the two of them.
"Now comes the hard part," Killua murmured. "You ready?"
Gon responded with a soft purr.
He'd meant to hum in response, but he couldn't help it. Being this close with Killua, in a psychic sense, it made him so incredibly relaxed. Even when he knew the discomfort that was about to come.
Killua slipped a knife into Gon's hand.
"Now, slit my wrist as I slit yours. And together, we draw out the set amount."
Gon purred again, and sensed a shift from Killua's tail in return.
In practiced synchronicity, the two boys slit each other's wrists at the exact same moment. Bisky, watching on from a distance, silently pumped her fists. They were doing so well! They were definitely gonna get it this time! Watching the two of them collaborate on a spell was like watching the moon pull at the tides, like watching the wind rustle through the leaves. Gon and Killua fit together perfectly, there wasn't a single gap or falter in their shared Ren, not a single flaw in their technique.
Biscuit had seen Sorcerer Pairs in her lifetime, but never a pair as flawless as Gon and Killua.
Once the blood had mixed with their Magic, Gon focused with Killua to keep it suspended, holding off the reaction until they were both ready. This was where they always messed it up, they had to do this slowly.
"Feel how our blood mixes together?"
Gon purred.
"Do you feel the mixture of blood and Energy?"
Gon purred again. Damn, that seriously was the only response he was capable of giving at the moment, wasn't it?
"Now then. Ready your mind for the activation. Follow my lead, allow your Ten to fall into sync with mine. Pass the control over your Magic to me."
Here they went, the hard part.
Gon sighed… and released his Ten.
It was hard, he'd trained so hard to ingrain the flow of it into his mind. Shutting off an automatic function was like commanding your heart to start beating. Literally. It was just like that.
Gon shuddered a gasp as the control over his Blood Energy Pocket passed from him, to Killua. His entire body got a sudden chill, and it was like he wasn't in control of his own body anymore. This part was always so crazy.
Gon was still Gon… and Killua was still Killua… but at the same time, Gon was Killua. He wasn't the one in the driver's seat anymore, it was the assassin. It was hard, offering the controls to his mortal vessel. But if there was anyone he trusted his life and body with, it was Killua.
The truth of that statement reverberated from Gon's mind into Killua's, and the hybrid's mind warmed as the Valkyrie acknowledged the sentiment.
"Good, now relax… this will sting, we'll share the cost."
Gon purred again.
It was like waking up from a sudden dream, a shock sparked to life in Killua. Gon felt it like it was his own body, and then felt it in himself. Electricity. Killua activated Godspeed in both of their bodies.
It worked.
The two of them had finally shared the spell.
…
Trust.
That's what this was, that's what it always had been.
Killua trusted Gon with his everything. His darkest side, and now his own Magic.
It was about time… that Gon did the same. It was time he shared with Killua the truth of his adventures… the truth of himself. He'd tell Killua about Kite. The sex work. Knuckle. Shoot. Meleoron. His failures. And also… his success. His greatest success.
Which had been meeting Killua.
It was about time Killua knew. He should have been told a long time ago, but Gon was scared. Scared and selfish. He hadn't wanted to share this with Killua, terrified that he'd be turned away… but if there really was a chance of that happening? Then it wasn't fair to be untruthfully tied to a person you hated and not even knowing it.
So Gon would tell Killua. He'd shove his fears and insecurities aside, and he'd come clean. If Killua didn't want to stay with him anymore… then so be it. Gon loved Killua, and he would never stop. That was a fact about Gon that would never change. Killua was the only one for him, he'd never love another person. Not in this life, and not in any life afterwards.
But in order to deserve the right to that love… Gon needed to put them on even ground.
The whole time Gon had known Killua, he'd hated himself for who he was. For what he'd done. All the while Gon had sat by watching Killua suffer, never telling him how much he understood. Killua thought Gon was perfect, and that just wasn't true.
Killua was the love of Gon's life… and he wanted to finally tell him.
It was time… it was finally time.
…
"Awww, I'm gonna miss you two so much!" Bisky wailed, flinging herself at the two boys. Gon and Killua scrambled to catch the blonde woman as she hung from their shoulders. "You two, have been the best students I've ever had!"
"Thanks Bisky, you've been the best teacher we've ever had too!" Gon exclaimed.
"Stop being such an Angel!" Bisky snapped, slapping Gon halfheartedly upside the head. "That's my job." With one last squeeze, Biscuit finally released Gon and Killua. The two stumbled backwards from her crushing embrace, grinning at their teacher as she wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes.
"Nesting and Sky is just over those hills," she sighed. "Good luck to the both of you. I know I've been lecturing you about this for the past three days now… but make wise choices! Trust your instincts, and above all trust each other!"
"Don't worry, we will," Killua drawled, stuffing his hands into his pockets.
"Yeah!" Gon agreed. Especially now that I'm gonna tell Killua. Once I do, I'll finally be deserving of his trust. He deserves to know, and I wanna give him that.
"The two of you are fully trained Sorcerers now! I'll be adding your names to the records, as well as your spells. Once again, I congratulate you on your incredible progress. Your spells are unique, likely to go down in the top 200, if not higher ranked than that."
"We never could have done it without you, Bisky!" Gon cheered, giving an excited little hop.
The woman marched up and punched Gon in the chest, tears slipping down her cheeks. "Stop being so pure, dammit!" she cried. "Learn to be naughty for once!"
Gon laughed sheepishly. Bisky seriously had no idea…
"No matter," the Angel sighed. "There's nothing I can do about it now." She socked Killua in the arm. "Behave yourself, don't cause Gon too much trouble."
The silver haired trouble maker snickered, "We'll see about that."
Gon faked a pout, and Killua shoved him in the shoulder. Gon shoved back, giggling.
"Oh," Bisky whined, watching the two of them rough house with a motherly love in her eyes. "If I don't leave now I never will."
Gon and Killua shared a conspirative look, and then wrapped Bisky up in an enormous hug. They crushed their Master between them as she broke down into tears, feather wings cocooning all of them in a soft embrace. Gon peeked at Killua from over Bisky's blonde head. The Valkyrie grinned at him, eyebrows upturned.
Gods. Gon loved Killua so much.
He pretended like he didn't care, but he loved Bisky just as much as she loved him.
He'd earned another mother in this world.
And honestly? He deserved all the mothers in the world.
…Okay, it sounded weird, but Gon just wanted Killua to be loved and supported!
And I'll do just that. I'll be there for him always. Don't worry Bisky, I'll take super good care of him. Now that I've fallen for him like this… I'll never let him go. I'll stay with Killua no matter what, even to the dying breath. Where he goes, I go. I'll watch his back forever, he'll never be cold or alone again. Not on my watch.
"Alright, that's enough wishy washy garbage," Bisky sighed, squirming out of Gon and Killua's double-embrace. She reached up, patting each of them on the arm. "Good luck. Kick Ging in the balls for me, Killua. And Gon? Follow your dreams, okay? You deserve everything. Both of you do. Once you've saved Alluka, you need to contact me!"
"Osu!" they declared in unison.
"Use your Magic wisely, and don't forget all the things I've taught you," Bisky declared, spreading her wings. "Take care, Gon and Killua." She grinned, and then the most incredible woman Gon would ever meet disappeared in a cloud of disrupted snow and lone feathers.
Killua slung his arm across Gon's shoulders once Bisky was out of sight. "You ready?"
"Yup!"
Killua barked a laugh. "Well, I would hope so! Tomorrow? It'll have been all six months. We'll find Ging."
Gon nodded. "Yeah! Let's go!"
AN: and that concludes the arc! we'll get back to Spell Sharing later on~
