Gon's breath left him. This was… incredible. Himself and Killua stood on the crest of the hill bordering Nesting and Sky, a town thrown together right on the edge of the wild Arctic Sea. Snow was up to their knees, covering every surface. It lined the rooftops icing on a cake, the soft glow from windows twinkling before them like a second set of stars.

The night was quiet, and empty. Not a cloud in the sky, the full moon sparkling overhead. Moonlight reflected off the snow, making the entire world glow. Ships were lined up on the docks, hundreds of them. The icey ocean rocked gently, waves crashing against the rocky shore.

This place was cold, and unforgiving. Known as the Final Stand, this was where ships came to rest for what would likely be the final time. The Northern Continent was notoriously dangerous. Very few had ever actually set foot inside. This was the only dock this far north, and it was common knowledge that most ships in that dock were either here to die, or to finally return home.

To die… meant that they were on a run for the Northern Continent.

The land of the Unseelie Fae.

The thought ran a shiver up Gon's spine. He knew he was nowhere near the Northern Continent, but just the knowledge that this was the closest port to that dreadful land… it made him feel like the Unseelie were breathing down his neck. Gon never wanted to go up there, never in a million years. Not there or the Southern Continent, where the Seelie resided.

"Of course… of course Ging is here," Gon murmured, that feeling creeping into his bones.

"Of all the places, am I right?" Killua chuckled, shifting his weight.

"Tomorrow… Killua, tomorrow Ging will be down there. At the port. He's probably somewhere in that city right now," Gon's stomach lurched. Gods. He wasn't one prone to anxiety… but he'd been waiting for this moment his entire life.

"Are you ready to meet him?" the Valkyrie whispered, staring silently over the snowy rooftops. He was just as unsettled as Gon, if not even more so. Killua hated the Fae, and Gon didn't blame him. Something about going up against a superior aura like that was terrifying. There was no way to escape the superiority of the Fae. They were the elite. The top of the top, the crowning jewel of humanoid evolution.

And since this was Nesting and Sky, it was highly likely that an Unseelie border patrol was down there right now… scouting out the Port, making sure the Seelie weren't stirring up any trouble. That's all the Fae cared about. Hurting the other subspecies. All the other beings in the universe were like flies to them, nothing more than a dull annoyance. They were only concerned with themselves, and their counterparts on the opposite end of the globe.

How was it possible to be that… isolated? To be that… superior?

Then again… Gon supposed that he also wondered how Ging had been so okay with dumping him on Mito. Hadn't he felt any remorse at all? How had he been able to do that? Gon had always been told that Ging wasn't meant for fatherhood, that he'd always do what he wanted no matter the consequence.

But now that Gon had entered this world… now that he'd seen all these things, done all these terrible things… How could Ging just ignore the consequences like that? How could he possibly be so carefree in the world they walked? What type of person… would he have to be?

"I don't think I'll… ever be ready to meet him," Gon admitted softly. It had been on the edges of his mind his entire life. That he'd never be ready for this moment. That by the time it finally arrived… Gon would be shaking in his boots.

Which was exactly the case.

"Gon?" Killua whispered, glancing over at the hybrid.

"But… I have to do this. There's no other option here. I've been waiting for this my entire life and I… Thank you."

The Valkyrie startled. "What for?"

"Just for…" Gon turned to face Killua.

Wide blue eyes stared back at him. Empathy swirling in those endless oceans of blue and purple. He always thought about Gon… even at the expense of himself. Gon remembered their fight in the Heaven's Arena… when Killua had offered himself up as a punching bag.

The thought made Gon recoil.

How could he have been so ungrateful? Killua was always right there for him… and he'd taken it all for granted. Gon hadn't truly understood all that Killua meant until he was already gone. How stupid was that? How self absorbed? How… Ging-like?

Gon hated to think that he'd been that careless… Maybe he really was Ging's son.

But that was just the thing.

Gon didn't know Ging, and he didn't know "whose son" he was supposed to be. Gon's whole life, he'd never known anything. There had been no traditions to follow, no family to mimic. No set goals… it had just been him.

Just a bastard child. A dirty blooded boy tossed into the midst of a human village.

He'd always been in the way of others… and he'd had to figure out everything for himself. It had always been that way, and Gon had come to believe that he was actually good at figuring it all out for himself. Good at forging his own path. But how could that be the case, when he was still here? Still chasing after some ghost of a father?

Could it really be considered following the beat of his own drum if Ging had dictated every second of his life thus far?

Because if Gon thought about it… he didn't… wanna be like Ging.

He didn't want to be the type of person to abandon his family.

To walk all over other people, and just do whatever no matter the consequence.

Gon wanted to be…

The person he wanted to be was…

Killua cocked his head to one side, eyes darting back and forth between Gon's. He was getting nervous. Analyzing Gon's movements. Trying to figure out what was wrong…

"Killua. I haven't been honest with you."

Here we go.

Gon had to do this. He had to tell Killua. Because… the person he wanted to be… was someone Killua could love. He'd do anything and everything to earn Killua's affections. He knew that they were friends… partners in battle… just two 19 year old kids on a mission. But…

Gon was in love with Killua.

And he didn't want anything else in this world, if he couldn't have Killua all to himself.

Gon wouldn't respect himself, no. Not until Killua could see him in the same light that he saw Killua… that was his goal.

I'll get Killua to fall in love with me.

Maybe it's selfish, to want him like this. To want to reach past our friendship into these uncharted waters… but the thing is? Killua changed my life. He… he woke me up. Not just from that awful place I was in, but from chasing desperately after Ging. All my life I've wanted to find Ging, so I could finally justify my existence.

I wanted to find my father, discover who I was, and be just like him.

But now I see that being like Ging isn't a good thing. Killua's shown me that.

Killua is everything. He's the sun, and the stars, and the sky. Without him, I'd still be lost. I was lost my entire life, until I met him. And I'll love him forever and always.

The only way I can be who I want to be, is if I can deserve Killua. And that'll happen when he can look at me back…

It doesn't matter if he'll never love me. That's okay. If he sees me only as a friend until the end of time… then I'll be okay with that. Cause… as long as Killua's here? And as long as I have his love to fight for? I'll be exactly who I want to be.

So yeah, we'll meet Ging tomorrow.

And I'll show him. I'll show him Killua.

I'll show Ging, that I don't need him at all. That I found my own path. My own life.

My own… purpose.

Because Killua is my purpose.

And in order for me to deserve him, I have to come clean. And I have to share everything with him.

Because what's the point in Killua having changed my life forever if he doesn't even know it?

"What do you mean?" the assassin asked, looking scared.

Gon's chest squeezed. He hated that. Killua didn't deserve to be afraid. And Gon was the reason he was feeling that way right now. Gon had hurt him in the past, and Killua was scared that he was about to do it again.

But no more.

Right now? Gon would change that.

He'd finally atone.

"Killua," Gon grabbed the Valkyrie's hands, and pulled him down so they were both sitting in the snow. Facing each other. Gon was the defendant, and Killua was the appeal. The moon was their judge, shining down from above and setting Killua's hair into a silvery inferno.

Killua glowed in the moonlight, burning brighter even than Gon's love.

"I need to tell you a story," Gon said, eyes earnest and pleading.

Listen to me. Please, hear my plea.

"Okay… well what's it about? And why so dramatic all of a sudden?" Killua retorted.

"It's about me… and something I did. A lot of things I did, actually. And a lot of things I failed to do. Killua, you shared with me the darkest side of yourself. You told me everything, and trusted me with your mishaps and stumbles. I just sat there and let you tell me… without ever doing the same for you. Killua, you're not the only one who's done bad stuff. I was scared to tell you before… but that's not fair. I know I'm late, but I'm gonna make up for it now. I'm gonna tell you what really happened to me those two years after I left Whale Island."

Killua's eyes softened, and he settled down. Gon took a deep breath, and told the story of a lifetime.

Sitting under the light of the moon, surrounded by snow and grazing the shadow of the Unseelie Fae, Killua listened as Gon spilled his heart and soul.

Gon told Killua an incredible story.

He'd told Killua stories before, but those had always been vague clips of what he'd been through. Things he'd seen, people he'd met. This was the whole thing, all two years of Gon's life. Those two years that had always sort of been a blank. Killua had known that Gon had left Whale Island to explore during that time, but until now?

It had just been a shadow.

Killua listened as Gon spoke of boarding a boat, and leaving the island for the first time in his life. He listened to Gon speak high and low about a boy with curly red hair, and he listened as Gon explained how he'd learned about the stars. Gon talked about his travels, setting foot in his first humanoid town. How he'd cried. Feeling so incredibly grateful, like he'd belonged for the first time in his life.

Killua's heart strings were pulled, his soul reached out to Gon.

But then… the story changed.

A shadow crossed Gon's eyes, and a waver entered his voice. His fingers trembled, and suddenly Killua understood. He understood so many things.

Gon talked about drugs. He talked about tossing his mind aside. He talked about three broken friends, and a woman named Jade. Gon told Killua about a terrible night, and the awakening of his biochemical within him.

Then he talked about the brothel.

And the terrible contract he'd made.

Tears welled in his eyes as he spoke, Gon looked like a cornered animal. He trembled where he sat, refusing to meet Killua's eyes.

Gon had been… a sex worker?

Killua had… never seen that coming.

Never in a million years.

Killua had always taken Gon as the most innocent creature ever to walk the earth… but fuck, how wrong had that been? Suddenly his reluctance to participate in Killua and Leorio's suggestive conversations made so much sense. He didn't like thinking about that time. He was ashamed of this truth… and for good reason.

It was so strange… imagining Gon in that situation. Killua had to admit that he felt a little… torn. About how he was supposed to react. He felt a little… uncomfortable. But then…

Gon broke down into tears. He grasped at Killua's hands, and looked him dead in the eye for the first time during this wild tale.

An incredible man had walked into Gon's life, right when he'd needed it the most.

A man named Kite.

Gon preached about Kite, about all the things he'd done for Gon. All that he'd taught him. And suddenly Killua hated himself for ever feeling uncomfortable about this. He'd been thinking things… gods, he'd started thinking that maybe he shouldn't be hanging around Gon if he'd done all this shit and never said anything–

But fuck.

Killua hated himself for that now.

Now that Kite had entered the picture, it all made sense. Perfect sense, as odd as that sounded. Sure, Gon had done terrible fucked up shit. But he'd just been a lost kid, and he regretted it. He'd moved past that time, and he'd become better for it. And that was all thanks to Kite.

Gon had owed Kite not just his life, but his entire existence.

But then Kite was lost.

Hearing Gon tell Killua about the night he'd lost Kite… was the hardest thing he'd ever had to sit through in his life. Worse than any torture, worse than burying an innocent child in a run-down city park.

Because the truth was that Killua loved Gon. He'd love him no matter how many faults he had, and seeing this pain in his eyes… Killua wanted nothing more than to wipe it away.

Killua felt betrayed, betrayed by himself that he'd ever considered ending things with Gon because of his mistakes. What type of person was Killua to jump to such conclusions? Gon was the most important presence in Killua's life, but that didn't mean he wasn't humanoid. He had his flaws, he'd made his fair share of mistakes.

And he'd experienced more than his fair share of pain.

"And that's when I met you," Gon concluded, dropping Killua's hands to wipe the tears from his cheeks. "So… yeah. That's me, that's the person I really am."

Killua was completely and utterly frozen. He didn't know what to say…

No, yes he did.

"What person are you talking about?" Killua asked, grabbing Gon's shoulders. The Valkyrie smiled openly at Gon. "I don't see anyone different."

Gon gasped inaudibly, his eyes exploding with a fireworks show of emotions. "What? But I–"

Killua wrapped Gon up against his chest. "All that crap doesn't matter. You're still you. Your mistakes don't define you, hell, you're the one who taught me that! That same rule still applies to you. I have to say, the sex work really surprised me."

Gon stiffened.

"But that's really none of my business. You're not that person anymore, so I really have no place even knowing about it in the first place. That's really personal stuff, and… thanks for trusting me with that. Thanks for telling me all this. You're still Gon, and I don't see you any differently. You're my best friend, you hear? I'm here for you no matter what."

"Oh, Killuaaaaa!" Gon wailed, flinging himself forward and tackling the Valkyrie in his embrace. Killua cracked a breathless laugh as Gon squeezed the life out of him, bawling his damn eyes out. "How are you like this? How is it even possible that you actually exist?"

"Well what's that supposed to mean?" the assassin asked, grinning. His eyes were wet, his chest was a buzzing mass of love for this idiot boy. Killua squeezed Gon against his chest. He was covered in snow, but he didn't care.

Gon sat up, perched on Killua's lap. "You just forgave me! Just like that!" he cried out.

Killua shoved himself back up, flicking Gon in the nose. "Whatever was there to forgive?"

"I should have told you all this sooner! You told me all that horrible stuff, thinking that you were the worst person in the world! And I just sat there and listened, not even telling you that I'd done a bunch of awful stuff too!"

"You're an idiot, Gon," Killua sighed.

"Why?"

"It's okay! Really! You don't have to dig up your own trauma just to make me feel better about mine. I don't mind that you waited until now to tell me all this. Bisky helped me work through all my issues, so I'm okay. Seriously, I am. What's important now is that you came clean. I know how hard that can be, so thanks. Thanks for trusting me with this."

"Seriously?" Gon sniffled. "Like, no kidding? You're seriously not mad?"

"Nope! How could I be mad at you, we're besties, right?" Killua wiggled out from under Gon, and stood up. He held his hand down, and dragged Gon out of the snow after him.

Yeah. I had no right to think that stuff about you.

I really had been about to push you away…

That's not right.

It doesn't matter if the sex work and drugs and shit freaked me out. I have no right to prosecute Gon for his past. Especially a past that he's already atoned for, not to mention a past that he regrets with his entire being.

Gon, I'm the one who should be sorry.

I shouldn't have jumped to any conclusions.

Could you… forgive me?

"It'll be sunup in a few minutes," Killua said, brushing the snow off his rear. "We've gotta get down there if we wanna find Ging. Neon never told us what time he'd be here, so for all we know he'll be at the port for two seconds right at dawn."

Gon laughed, though it was more of a sob. He rubbed at his face, eyes watery but mouth cracked open in the biggest grin of all time. "Okay. Let's go! And Killua? Thanks for everything."

The assassin chuckled, hiding his eyes beneath his bangs. "Yeah, yeah. Thank me all you want, but there's really nothing to thank me for. We're friends, right? We're supposed to do stuff for each other."

Killua was focused on hiding the light in his own eyes, so he missed the expression of unconditional love that melted across Gon's entire face. As well as his visible struggle to keep himself from kissing Killua right then and there.

"Now come on, we've got an asshole to catch!" Killua declared, pointing down at the docks.

"Yeah!" Gon cheered.