"We've been doing this since fourth grade, and god damn it; I think my patience and tolerance has been exhausted!"

"Schroeder! Wh-what are you- wait! It was just a scratch," Lucy cried.

Schroeder held her around the waist, shoving her out the front door, slamming it behind him

"Umm okay! I'll just see you later when you calm down, Schro-Schro," she walked off feeling defeated again, "Damn it, can't he just see I love him?"

"Crazy bitch scratches my piano… I gave up getting a car for this thing!"


Three friends hang out at the park nearby laughing at funny videos and such on their phones, enjoying the day.

"See… isn't this nice, friends hanging out, not worry'n bout stuff, just lettin' the mind shut down," Peppermint Patty exclaimed.

"Sure is, Sir."

"Yeah, I've been stressing about this drivers test, I don't know how many more times I can take it, thanks guys."

"Don't worry, Chuck 'ol boy, seven is supposed to be a lucky number, right Baby girl?"

"That's what they say," Marcie kisses her, "we'll help you tomorrow."

"You know I can't get just one of those," Peppermint Patty grabs her face.

"Oh…Sir," she moans through the kisses.

"Ooookay," he walks away from their intense make-out session.

"Chuck… hold on," Peppermint Patty yells between kisses.

"Nah! I don't need to be reminded of my loneliness on top of my inability to drive a car!"


Charlie walks home from the park to try and find more help on YouTube, running in to Lucy as he reaches his walk.

"I'm tired of Schro-Schro denying my advances, he's practically messed up the rest of my day," she thought to herself. "Hey Charlie Brown!"

"Yes Lucy," he sighed.

"I heard you failed the drivers test again."

"I did."

"Maybe you aren't meant to drive."

"I'll get it down next time."

"I doubt it," she laughs, "If you drive the way you fly kites, I certainly wouldn't want to share the road with you!"

"You don't have a car either, Lucy," he retorted coldly.

"I have my license, and when my parents get a new car… I'm getting one of their old ones," she boasted.

"Whoop-de-fucking-do."

"Watch your attitude, buster! See that's why you're gonna always be a fucking loser, and alone. You think a cars gonna change that? So pathetic! Besides… if you did get a car; you might end up meeting a relative of the kite eating tree, the car eating telephone pole. I would hate to be whatever desperate girl shows you pity, if that happens." She laughed.

"You know he hates you and will never be with you."

"Please… do I look like you? Nobody wants you, Charlie. Everybody loves me."

Charlie is at a loss for words at the idea of wrecking a car with who he wants in it, he just watches her walk home with a sigh. Lucy walks up to her door as Linus walks out, she smacks him in the back of the head with the pass by.

"God damn, Lucy!"

Linus sits next to a defeated Charlie on his porch, rather annoyed at her pop shot she took at him.

"She must have seen Schroeder again today," he guessed.

"Every time that happens, she's more crabby than normal, I'm tired of always being her whipping boy, it makes her happy, I guess."

"Dude… you need to stand up to her and demand respect, why do you let her do it?"

"I guess I'm just used to it. Snapping back at her just makes her madder anyway. I accepted that I was a failure a long tine ago, it would be a miracle not to be," he sighed.

"You're going to pass that drivers test, just look at everything we gave you."


The next day a period before lunch was put aside for another round of Drivers Education. Frieda, Pig Pen, Linus, and Charlie along with some girl he hardly knew were there. He opted to go last, to make sure he studied everybody else. One by one each succeeded.

"Finally, I got my license certificate," Frieda cried. I was so nervous, good thing Violet let me have extra practice with her car."

"Why didn't I think of that," he thought, "like anybody would go that far to help."

"Maybe you won't crash and burn this time, Charlie," Frieda walked by.

"C'mon Charlie, it's easy. Even Peppermint Patty got her license…. And a sick Ranchero."

"But the car is so big," Charlie muttered, looking at the gym teachers nineteen ninety-five Cadillac Fleetwood Brougham.

"Better to learn in a big car is what they say. Welp, I'm up," Linus got in the car.

"Don't worry, I'm nervous too," said the girl.

"This is my third try, my dad helped me out, so I know I'm going to ace it this time," Pig Pen claimed.

"Car-eating telephone pole," a voice cried out, followed by shrieking raucous laughter.

Charlie looked around to see Lucy and Violet sitting on Violets hood of her two year old Mercedes C-class, laughing at him.

"Good grief… I should give up, not like I'm going to get a car anyway."

"Don't listen to them, Charlie, you can do it. Looks like it's my turn," Pig Pen said.

Linus walked over brandishing his certificate; "look… told you it was easy."

"Yeah, maybe if I had more seat time, I would get it."

Pig Pen came back with his certificate, then the girl came back crying tears of joy that she just barely made it, Now it was his turn. Charlie got in the car and of all the voices in his head, why did hers have to be the loudest, why was her face the brightest?

"Brown! Get it together," the gym teacher snapped.

"Oh sorry," he put the seatbelt on.

Moments later Charlie is getting out of the passenger side of the car, his two friends disappointed in his failure.

"Brown, this is getting old, I'm giving you one more try, and if you fail that time; you'll just need to wait till next year, or have your parents teach you. Now all of you head to lunch," he quickly drove away.


At lunch he was sitting with his friends feeling utterly defeated.

"Chuck… if ya want; we can use my car to get you up on game, I wanna see you get your license."

"Him?! We'd better start driving on the sidewalk, if he gets on the road," Lucy walked up.

"Lucille, why do you need to be such a bitch," Marcie wondered.

"I doubt his parents could even afford to get him a car, even if he did get it. Just stick with a bicycle Charlie, it's good exercise."

"It got stolen," he lowered his head, "Snoopy hasn't found it yet."

"Lucy, go on somewhere, leave the man alone," Franklin snapped.

"I'm just saying… I don't think he deserves to have a car much less a license."

"Where the fuck is your car, Lucy, why do you have a license," Peppermint Patty stood up in her face.

Lucy backed down knowing Peppermint Patty has an attitude equal or surpassing hers, and a fighting prowess that definitely surpasses hers. Charlie once again catches himself watching Lucy walk away.

"Ignore her, my dude. Prove her wrong, prove you can succeed," Franklin stated.

"We got your back, right, Sir?"

"Sure thing, Baby girl."

Charlie sighed and texted his dad that he failed again.


Charlie and Linus were talking in the hallway, he was watching Lucy and Schroeder, trying to make heads and tails of it all. A scream caught Linus attention, he turned to see Schroeder marching towards them.

"I'm sorry Linus; I know she's your sister, but I'm ready to smack the shit out of her."

"I only hold the title of brother, as far as she's concerned. Speaking of sisters; Charlie, I'll see you in class," he rushed off as a familiar blond pixie cut bobbed towards the three.

"Hey… now I know I saw my Babboo right here. Big brother, what are you looking at?"

"Huh?! Oh! I'll see you later Schroeder," Charlie walked to his class.

"Umm…" He and Sally replied.

After school Peppermint Patty was waiting for Charlie to walk out.

"Hey Chuck! C'mon man, we're gonna get this driving thing together!"

"What? I just want to go home, Trish."

"Get your ass in this car, I'm trying to help you."

"I thought that was a truck?"

"Lesson number one; Rancheros and El Caminos are coupe utility vehicles, not trucks..

There I already started teaching, get in."

Marcie sat in the middle, they drove to a park near downtown.


"All right… might as well get the hard stuff out of the way; parallel parking." She pulled up to street side parking, "get out and watch, get a good look at the car, like how far the wheels turn and learn to remember the size of the car in that big head."

He studied the car as Peppermint Patty parallel parked it a few times.

"Now get in and watch what I do. You gotta keep that outside picture, so you know where the car can fit. What kinda car do you want?"

"A Corolla or something," he replied.

"That's a chicks car," she laughed, parking the car. "See… parking is one reason ya gotta make sure your mirrors are set right, Chuck. Don't want to be looking at the back wheel or across the street. Okay so… you pull up past the space like this… turn the wheel all the way, make sure you don't hit the car, start turning back, look behind but check your mirrors, turning the other way slowly to get the front in. See?'

"Yeah."

After a few more times, she switches spots; "take the time you need."

Charlie put the car in reverse, noting where she put the car in the first place, turning the wheel, easing it in.

"Watch the front, don't hit that car," Peppermint Patty instructed.

He made sure to back far enough in, to turn in behind the car, straightening the wheel, the bed makes it easy to see the car behind him. He gets it in and pulls it forward. Peppermint Patty gets out and looks at his work.

"Good job Chuck! Next time get it closer to the curb… don't want a ticket or a sideswipe, but good work, man, let's get it right."

"It was easier without Lucy's voice in my head."

"I shoulda known! That cunt is always trying to see your demise!"

"It's not so much-"

"Don't worry about her, you're gonna ace this test, promise."

She had him park the car a few more times, he managed to catch on pretty good, he got a phone call from his dad.

"Hey dad… yeah again… Trish is helping me right now… he did… okay, I'll ask her to take me," he hung up.

"What's up," Marcie asked.

"My dad said my grandfather wants me to swing by his shop, can you take me, Trish?"

"Hop in Chuck, you're taking us!"

"Huh… what?"

"I said I was gonna teach you to drive, I ain't stopping now, trust me Chuck, prove that fussbudget bitch wrong."

"Okay! Yeah! Let's do this! I'll get my license and she'll be impressed!"

"Impressed," she repeated, looking at Marcie confused.