A/N: OK...First of all, I would like to say...Writing fanficiton (after not having written in a LONG time) is like riding a bike...my pant leg keeps getting stuck in the chain..So, to those of you who stick with me-you got huevos. But, you gotta figure, eventually it's got to get better...or maybe you just need to get drunker...Either way, it should be fun for all of us. Hey, I ain't Hemingway! I'm just a girl with a computer, a Venti Caramel Frappucino, and a really wild imagination. In other words, if you like it...you like it...if you hate it...well, you probably have taste...And, that's not bad either. In any event, I hope you enjoy it more than you hate it...
The throngs of busy power shoppers wove around the busy outdoor mall. It was a hot day but this didn't deter the hopeful shoppers. Nick Stokes had only needed to stop quickly to pick up a few essentials. This had appeared to not be his wisest choice.
Don't these people work? He thought to himself. Why in God's name were there so many people able to shop carefree? With seemingly no place to be but apparently no end to their means of purchase power. It was almost awe inspiring if it weren't for the woman behind him with a baby stroller poised to do some serious damage to his calf and ankles if he didn't take evasive steps out of her way.
Moving quickly to avoid any "accident", Nick found an abandoned bench and took in the utter madness and chaos of this suburban mall.
This was not a good idea. Figuring he could get what he needed later, the Texan weaved his way back through the crazy crowds and back to the sanctity and safety of his SUV.
With no place to go and nothing keeping him here at this zoo that he was parked in, Nick backed out of the parking spot and began another aimless drive through more unknown territory.
He wasn't on the road long before somehow managing to end up on the freeway. He could feel his breath somehow catch though as he found himself on the I-15 heading northbound. What was it about this busy stretch of asphalt that made him cringe? It was miles from where he had started his journey. Yet, the dark haired man could feel the churning of the acids in his stomach bubble over and quickly he managed to make a quick escape on the nearest exit.
This was insane, he thought. I am a grown man and I am afraid of a road. Yes, the road could lead him back home to the comfort and predictability of everything and everyone he had come to love. But, somehow and somewhere he felt that same person didn't exist any longer.
Not long after the hasty exit Nick found a fairly empty parking lot. It appeared to be a small airport. Small high winged and low winged aircraft mingled in between small business jets and helicopters. He slid his car easily into the parking space and took in the constant air traffic and perennial buzz as pilots, students and passengers continued their day. The smell of jet fuel strangely settled into his nose and he found himself pleasantly enjoying the obnoxious fumes.
The ebb and flow of people and planes lulled Nick back into another wistful reverie. Somehow life didn't seem as complicated as he watched a flight instructor and his young student complete a walk around of some small high winged plane. Even as the student checked the gas tanks and methodically went through his checklist he seemed more at ease and in his own skin than Nick could ever remember feeling.
He supposed there was a time he felt that carefree spirit. The feeling he was in control of his own life. His own destiny. Somehow, lately, that just seemed to have fallen by the wayside. It was time to make a change. He had control now. He had shown everyone that he was a survivor. That proof had come at a cost. Nick wasn't ready or willing to continue on this path. It was time to step up and take a chance on life. His own life.
Could he really take back his life in a town that had a basically robbed him not only of his spirit but almost his life? The new Nick needed to venture forward. Though it hurt to think about it. He needed to do it somewhere else or Las Vegas would kill him for sure.
But wouldn't that be awfully selfish? He had friends and relationships developed there. Some of his friendships had deepened to the point of becoming family. Warrick and Catherine. They knew him almost better than any of his siblings. The two of them had been there to see him through some of his highest highs but had more importantly stood by him and guided him through his lowest lows.
Then there was Grissom. The man was an enigma. A study in contrasts. You never really knew from day to day which Gil Grissom you were going to get. He wouldn't call him moody. Definitely, not textbook Grissom. But, there was something about him that was not clearly defined. Sometimes he felt, as close to Grissom as he felt to his, he hated to say, father. He looked to Grissom as a somewhat father figure. It was more than that, though.
Sometimes it appeared like Grissom enjoyed that role. Like he almost reveled in the duty of being a mentor, leader and advisor. Other times it seemed like all the attention and the worship just about pissed the man off. Grissom, too, was there for him, even when the going got too tough to handle.
Closing his eyes as haunting memories surged through his confused brain. Nick ran a tired hand across his face. Opening them once again to see the student pilot pop open the window of the small airplane. Within seconds, he heard the young voice yell out "Clear Prop!" and the engine struggled momentarily to start as the propeller turned and finally started. Watching intently as the plane moved a fraction and then came to a stop and then moved once again. The dark haired man watched the Cessna taxi out of sight. Within a few minutes the plane had taken to the air. Out of site and off to some new adventure. An adventure he suddenly knew he needed to start for himself.
It suddenly all seemed so easy. Surely his friends would forgive him this need. Even if they didn't understand now. Eventually time and very busy lives would erase their memories. Certainly the burden of worrying about their wayward friend would be lifted. So much of their anxieties eased and soon he would just be an anecdote they told their friends.
This was becoming easier to believe as his mind raced to his new life that opened up strangely in an airport parking lot. It was time to jump right in to the cold water, head first, a full swan dive. There would be no more dipping his toes into the safety zone he was so well known for. This time he was taking action and becoming the man he knew he could be again, even if it did mean leaving behind the friend's that had helped shape him before.
They would understand…eventually.
"Dammit! Stupid printer is jammed again. And, what the hell does PC Load Letter mean?" Slapping the printer in disgust Warrick Brown growled at the offending machinery.
"You just need to lift this tray." Sara replied as she lifted the cover and skillfully showed her co-worker what he could have given a damn about anyway. Pressing some magic buttons. The report printed and Sara smiled sickeningly sweet at the glower Warrick was currently fixing her with.
He was already pissed off. Her sunny disposition and willingness to "help him" was pissing him off more. What right did she have to be happy? Did she not have eyes? Could she not see the current mood and attitude ever present in this hellhole they seemed to be working in.
Nothing seemed right these days. He felt like he was in the fast lane in second gear. Wasn't it her duty to feel the same way? He was her friend too. Shouldn't she feel the absence of Nick along with the others?
Nick's original "disappearance" had an almost devastating effect on the lab. His kidnapping had left raw wounds on the once cohesive office. His subsequent rescue and recovery helped put a band-aid to the near tragic event only to have the ragged wound ripped wide open once again when the Texan disappeared without a trace weeks later.
Warrick was beside himself with the need to locate the only person he thought of in this world as a brother and best friend. Nick's vanishing act had tore away a part of himself he never thought he would find again.
Seeing the many moods reflecting in his green eyes Sara dared to ask, "What is your problem? It's just a printer."
"Is that what you think this is about, Sara? A printer?" Pausing a moment he stared back at the woman in front of him "I could ask you the same question."
"This is about Nick, isn't it? Why? Why after three weeks?"
Warrick's jaw nearly dropped to the ground. Her words almost like daggers. This was a friend?
"What do you mean is this about Nick? What else could it be about? Have you not noticed? Have you not been paying attention? This is all about Nick and I can't believe this new attitude of yours?"
Sara's mind reeled as she listened to Warrick seemingly belittle her.
"I'm not saying I'm not worried about him Warrick. I'm just saying it's been three weeks. He left here on his own accord. Don't get me wrong. I miss him too but he's gone. And, Warrick, he doesn't want to be found. I'm just being realistic and I'm sure nobody else wants to think it but if he really wanted to, he would have called."
It was taking all the calm and control he could muster. To think he had worked side by side with this woman for almost five years. This was all the loyalty she could show. This was what Nick meant to her.
Sara, sensing the animosity quickly developing, smartly changed gears as she continued, "Listen, Warrick, I know you two are close. I'm sorry if you can't or won't agree with me on this. I want him back too. But, it was Nick's choice to leave."
Warrick had listened to all he could take and finally blew. "Don't you think I know he left on his own? That he chose to disappear without saying a word to anyone, including me. Do you know how much it hurts to know that he is out there and whether or not he realizes it, that he needs his friend's, his true friends with him? But, I happen to believe, after all he's been through, he has that right. And even though I miss him like hell. It was his decision and his alone. Don't think for a minute, though, that I won't move heaven and earth to find him. Because it is important that he be found. Just like when he was underground. It's no different. He needs to be rescued from himself!"
Before the final words were out and before Warrick had the chance to say something more, that he knew he would regret, he stormed out of the lab leaving Sara and several dumbfounded lab techs stunned.
Bounding into the locker room, he was happy to find nobody else around. It was hard enough dealing with Sara; he didn't have the heart or the patience to deal with anyone else.
His heart told him he believed what he said to Sara was true. Nick did have the right to be a little bit selfish. He had been through so much not only with the kidnapping but also just in the events of the last couple of years. How much could one man take before he completely crumbled? That wasn't something the tall man could abide. His mind told him other things. Ultimately, the decision was made the moment he found out Nick had left. Everything in him told him that Nick needed to be found. Warrick knew in his mind it needed to be him that found the 'lost' CSI.
Pulling out his cell phone, Warrick hit the speed dial button and was quickly connected to a friend from college. The two of them had gone way back. Charles Lee had been a close friend back in the day. Time and careers had conspired against the two of them in the last five or six years. Lately, though, he was the eyes and ears for him if he was going to find his brother.
Charles had gone on to college and ended up working as manager for Sprint/Nextel. Since the lab was all on that network for their cell phones, it only made sense to call in a favor from an old buddy. Unfortunately, the news had been the same since the day Nick was last seen. No outbound calls had been made. No voice mails had been checked and it didn't even appear that his phone had been turned on since the satellite system couldn't even track him through the GPS system within Nick's cell phone.
Between the cell provider and the Onstar system on Nick's SUV, which had somehow been disabled, Nick had effectively vanished without a trace.
What made it worse was the new attitude their supervisor was sporting. The first few days after Nick had somehow just walked away from his life, the entire team worked feverishly to locate their lost sheep. With all their leads fizzling and basically coming up dead-ends. The team realized they had to re-focus on the cases they were being paid to investigate. Most of the teammates and co-workers kept up the search. They just did it on their own time and pace.
Lately, though Grissom seemed to take on a new demeanor. One that Warrick was not too fond of. Forget the fact that the man's moods had shifted from calm and placid to just basically foul and unapproachable. Grissom seemed determined to just be cantankerous the whole shift.
It was hard enough to be one man short but the sour disposition was fast becoming impossible to deal with. Lab techs moved in the opposite direction when they saw the older man coming their way. Even Catherine was shut down when she tried to approach her old friend. Effectively dismissed and told to leave him alone. This didn't set well with the senior investigator but she took it in stride and closed herself up in her own office.
What seemed even more amazing was that it appeared like the supervisor was irritated at the inconvenience of Nick Stokes departure. Not just upset. But, completely put out by it. This was making for a tough work environment. Something needed to be done and it needed to be done soon, or this team would implode on itself.
Gil Grissom shut the door to his office and quickly locked the door before he made his way back to his desk. A headache was threatening behind his eyes and this one was going to be a bad one. He needed to finish up a few things before he left for home to nurse what was the beginning of one bad migraine.
Picking up the battered business card from his desk, the supervisor studied the words and put the card back on the desk. Running his fingers over the embossment of the worn paper he closed his eyes and picked up his phone. Dialing his phone he waited as the line picked up. "Hey Jack, it's Gil. What do you have for me?"
