Disclaimer – I don't own any of these characters.
a/n – I'm starting to sound like a broken record but I can't even begin to say how grateful I am to everyone who's reading along with this story, especially those who have been kind enough to leave reviews. You guys are the best, and I hope you continue to enjoy the story. :)
- x -
There were bigger decisions to be made in life than choosing between iced tea and Coke, but for some reason, Sean couldn't seem to make a choice. He stood at the cafeteria counter like an idiot, staring at the cans like they might suddenly start talking to him. Just pick one, he told himself. It's not freaking life or death.
But the problem was that he knew, deep down inside, that every time he made a decision lately, it turned out to be the wrong one.
Behind Sean, another guy also waiting on line started to get impatient, rattling his tray against the counter to hurry things along. But Sean glared at him over his shoulder and the kid backed down. For some reason that made Sean feel a little bit better. He still had some control in his life these days.
Finally he settled on Coke, and reached for a can. It was barely in his hand for five seconds before he felt someone lightly tap his shoulder. It was a tentative tap, as if the person were almost afraid of him. He turned quickly, feeling completely caught off guard, and found himself face to face with Emma.
He had just known that the whole drink decision would come back to bite him on the ass – he had the sinking feeling that if he'd just picked the stupid ice tea, Emma never would have come over to see him.
She didn't look as tired as she should, he thought. For Sean, it had been a struggle to get out of bed this morning, considering that he'd gotten so little sleep, but Emma looked completely alert. Her eyes were bright, and her cheeks were almost flushed. He wanted to ignore it, but she was just so pretty, and he couldn't stop staring.
"Hi," she said quietly. She looked around quickly, as if she were afraid that they were being watched.
Sean nodded, looking down at his can of soda instead of into her eyes.
"About last night..." Emma whispered. Her voice sounded like it was coming for a million miles away.
He knew what was coming next – she was embarrassed. She wanted to forget everything about last night, and she wanted him to forget it too. She was probably right, and certainly justified, in feeling that way, Sean thought, but it still upset him. It was almost as if he wished there was something that he could do to change her mind.
Sean forced himself to look up at Emma. He'd take whatever she decided to dish out. He owed her that much after the way he'd treated her after they broke up.
"I just wanted to say thank you," she said finally. Her words were rushed, like she wanted to get them out before she ran out of courage. She fidgeted as she stood there, twisting one of the bracelets on her wrist around. "You know, for everything ... just... thanks."
Sean stood there for a moment, too stunned to speak right away. Emma always had a way of surprising him. Finally, he was able to give her a small smile, playing it cool.
"No problem," he said casually. "I mean, it wasn't a big deal."
Emma nodded, but he could tell from the intense look in her eyes that she clearly thought it was a pretty big deal. Truth be told, he thought so too, though he'd never admit that. Not to her. Not even to himself.
Without another word, Emma turned and headed for the cafeteria exit. He watched her go, feeling strange. Underneath the excitement, he was annoyed with himself. Why was he letting himself get pulled into this mess again? He knew how it was going to end, the way it always ended. And Ellie was someone who was always there for him. What the hell was he doing?
"Oh, don't tell me you're letting little Miss Ecology push your buttons again," a voice said, just over his shoulder.
Sean turned, and Jay was flashing him a nasty smile.
"But maybe you should get some credit actually," Jay mused. "I mean, here you are, all friendly and cozy with your ex, and you've got your actual girlfriend stashed away somewhere, just waiting for you. Sweet, man. You're like a super stud."
"Shut up, Jay."
"Ohhh, touchy touchy. Truth hurts, man."
"You're an asshole," Sean said, opening his can of soda. "And you don't have a clue what you're talking about."
Jay cocked his head, looking skeptical.
"Whatever." He looked around the cafeteria quickly, then focused on Sean again. "Forget it. We got more important stuff to talk about. Joe knows where we can score some premium merchandise. We're talking like three, four hundred dollars worth. He's gonna take us there now. Come on."
Sean took a sip of his soda. He was in no mood for Jay's bullshit right now, or breaking the law and risking getting into serious trouble. He could still remember the look in Emma's eyes before she walked away. Somehow he couldn't go off with Jay with that image still fresh in his mind.
"Another time," he told Jay finally.
Jay blinked, confused. "What do you mean? We're leaving now."
"I mean, another time. I've got stuff to do."
Sean started to walk toward the exit. He saw that Jay had followed after him. Sean could sense danger ahead.
"Oh, what, Cameron? Did one of your girlfriends tell you that you couldn't play with us anymore?" Jay mocked.
Sean stopped dead in his tracks, and turned to face Jay. He walked right up to his supposed friend, so there was barely a foot between them, and glared as intensely as he could.
"I'm you warning you one more time," Sean said. "Shut your mouth or I'll shut it for you."
Jay rolled his eyes, clearly unimpressed. "Whatever, man. Just quit wasting my time." He walked away, ripping a poster for the Spirit Squad off the wall as he went out the door.
Sean stood there for a moment, taking a deep breath. When he'd gotten himself together, he decided to look for someplace where he could be by himself. Other people just seemed to piss him off or confused the hell out of him these days.
At least he always knew what kind of crap to expect from himself.
- x –
Ellie should have been used to it by now, but it still bothered her that Ashley showed up late whenever they were supposed to meet. She hated waiting around when she could have been using her time much more productively. It was just such a waste.
Today she and Ash were supposed to be having lunch together, and she'd been waiting for ten minutes already. And Ellie had become so bored that that she'd had nothing better to do than people-watch in the cafeteria. She'd seen Sean, waiting on line at the counter, and was about to go and talk to him, when Emma Nelson came over to him. Ellie'd watched them talk for a minute or so before Emma walked away, and then Jay had gotten in Sean's face about something. Their conversation clearly wasn't as friendly as Sean and Emma's, so Ellie had been worried for a moment. But Jay had left without major incident, and Sean had disappeared right after that, before Ellie could talk with him.
That was how things were going between them these days.
Now Ellie sat at an empty table, waiting for Ash and doodling in her notebook. She was working on an elaborate sketch of car going over a cliff in flames, when she realized that someone was standing over her shoulder, looking at her picture.
Somehow she knew immediately who it would be, before she even looked up. Things were getting stranger and stranger.
"That's pretty good," Craig told her. He was holding a lunch tray, and had his guitar case slung over his shoulder. "I'm partial to exploding buildings myself, but that's pretty cool too."
Ellie smiled, feeling herself blush. She lowered her head, so her hair would cover her face.
"Well, anyway," Craig said nervously. Ellie looked up, and he seemed to be blushing too. "I had a lot of fun yesterday afternoon."
They looked at one another for a minute, both uncomfortable and unsure what to say. Craig opened and closed his mouth a few times without saying anything, and his lunch tray seemed to shake.
"I mean, Angie had a great time," he said finally. "And I just wanted to say thanks and all. She couldn't stop talking about how much fun she had and how terrific you were when we got home. Contrary to public opinion, six year olds are not that easy to win over, so it's a pretty serious compliment."
"Well, I'm definitely flattered," Ellie said, smiling. "Angie's really cute. I'd forgotten how much fun everything can be when you're that little."
Craig nodded. "I feel that way a lot when I'm with her."
Again, silence overcame them, and they just looked at one another awkwardly. Craig shifted the tray in his hands, and Ellie fiddled with her notebook. A couple of tables in front of them, a girl dropped her lunch tray, and macaroni and cheese splattered to the floor. Craig and Ellie watched for a moment, before looking at one another again.
This couldn't be any more awkward, Ellie thought.
"Ash is meeting me here," she said finally. "You should probably go before she gets here."
He frowned, but nodded in understanding. Ellie watched him turn to go, and something crazy overtook her. She found herself calling after him.
"Craig!" Her voice sounded so loud to her own ears, and she looked around to see if other people were listening. Craig turned and looked at her, clearly confused. "I had a lot of fun too."
He smiled then, looking goofy but cute, and nodded again. Still, Ellie felt like an idiot. What on earth had compelled her to tell him that? She wished that there was some way to rewind time, and take it back. But Craig turned and left, and the moment was over.
Now if she could just pretend the whole thing never happened...
"What the hell was that about?"
Ash slammed her tray down on the table. She looked so angry that she could breathe fire.
"How much did you hear?" Ellie asked, feeling exposed and almost sleazy.
"Nothing," Ashley said. She sat down across from Ellie, seeming very tense. "I just saw that loser talking to you. What could he possibly have to say to you?"
Ellie didn't know what to say. It would be so easy to make up a story about what they'd been talking about, to say that Craig had tried to start a conversation with her and she'd just turned him away without a second thought. But she couldn't lie. Especially not to Ash. The truth was always best, no matter how uncomfortable it might be – she'd learned that much from Marco.
"I ran into him and his sister in the park yesterday," she told Ashley. "He was just telling me that she thought I was pretty cool."
Ashley's eyes went wide, and her mouth fell open unattractively. She looked absolutely disgusted.
"So now he's using Angie to pick up girls?" she asked, outraged. "He is officially the lowest of the low."
"I don't think that's what he was doing, Ash. They were there playing around, and I ran into them, completely by accident. I don't think Craig planned it or anything."
"Yeah, just like he didn't plan to screw around with Manny, right?" Ash pushed the salad around on her plate with a fork. "He is so unbelievably pathetic."
Ellie nodded, but felt uncomfortable. She had told Ashley nothing but the truth, and yet she still felt like she was lying somehow.
"Well, at least you don't have to worry," Ashley said. "I mean, you're too smart to fall for any of Craig Manning's sleazy tricks."
Ellie nodded again, but didn't look at Ashley.
"And Sean would kick his ass if he even looked at you the wrong way," Ash mused. "Hmm, that might be some fun. Think we could talk Sean into doing it anyway?"
She smiled devilishly, and started to eat her food enthusiastically.
Ellie watched Ash, but couldn't bring herself to eat her own food. She knew Craig was the world's biggest jerk. She'd seen firsthand the kind of damage and heartbreak that he'd inflicted on Ash, and rumor had it that Manny had been just as devastated. It had been Ellie who encouraged Ashley in those first few weeks, telling her that Craig should never, ever be forgiven, that torturing him should be Ash's mission for the immediate future.
None of that had changed just because she'd run around a park with him and his little sister.
Had it?
Ellie looked down at her notebook where she'd sketched the burning car. She wished that she had a red pen so that she could color in all the flames.
- x -
Emma opened her locker with a hard yank, and looked for her English book. She'd been out of sorts all day, but now she was finally starting to feel better. She'd finally gotten the courage to talk to Sean about the night before, and now that she'd thanked him, Emma felt like she could get all the feelings that it had stirred up out of her system. She'd spoken to him and gotten closure, and now she could just move forward.
So what if she was still thinking about Sean while she looked for her copy of Animal Farm? She'd stop thinking about him eventually, she told herself. She had to.
Finally, Emma found the book in question and got ready to head to the library. She was supposed to have read the first forty pages for class today, but she'd been too distracted last night to get past the first page. She closed her locker door, and turned to head down the hallway.
Something stopped her in her tracks.
Manny stood just across the hall at her own locker, smirking like she knew some awful, dirty secret that Emma was trying to keep hidden. Emma planned to ignore her, but Manny stepped directly in front of her, and shook her head.
"You're really something, Em," she said, and there was no mistaking the bitterness in her voice. "You pretend you're so perfect and better than everyone else, but really you're just a big phoney."
Emma sighed. "What are you talking about, Manny?"
"You and Sean.. All over each other in the cafeteria."
"You're crazy, Manny. Seriously crazy."
Emma started to walk away, but Manny trailed after her.
"I know you know that Sean has a girlfriend, Em. And you've got a boyfriend for that matter, right? I know you'd never do anything as terrible as going after someone else's boyfriend."
Emma told herself that this was just Manny trying to get a rise out of her, that there wasn't anything else behind it. She didn't even want to consider the possibility that there was any truth in what Manny was saying.
If she felt anything for Sean these days, Emma reassured herself, it was just because she was so grateful that someone finally understood what she was feeling. Her history with him didn't matter. Her old feelings for him weren't part of it. They couldn't be. She was just in awe that Sean could actually relate to what she was going through – that's what was stirring up her feelings. Nothing more.
It sounded plausible anyway.
Regardless, there was no reason on earth why Emma should explain herself to Manny. After the mess she'd made of things for herself, Manny was in no place to judge anyone.
"Here's some advice, Manny," Emma said finally. "Take care of your own life, and leave everyone else's alone."
"Coming from you, that's almost laughable, Em. You butt into everyone's business like you've got all the right in the world. I'm just returning the favor."
Emma stopped, and looked Manny in the eye. She almost couldn't believe that they had once been best friends. It seemed like another lifetime.
"Well, gee, thanks, Manny."
"No need to get all bent out of shape. So you and Sean are in one of your 'We're star-crossed lovers' phases. So what if Ellie and Chris are in the way? Who cares, right? Because soon enough you and Sean will hate each other's guts again and there will be plenty of room for them to get back into the picture."
Emma couldn't believe the bitterness and cruelty in Manny's voice. It was almost like listening to a stranger, not someone she'd known since kindergarten. Yet, deep down inside, part of Emma felt like she almost deserved this. She could still hear her own words, echoing cruelly in her head – "I don't want to be friends with the school slut." It didn't get much worse than that, though Manny was certainly trying.
All Emma knew was that she couldn't take much more of this.
Manny laughed then, shaking her head. She smiled up at Emma brightly, like someone had told her a really good joke.
"You know, you and Sean are harder to follow that a soap opera. On again, off again, on again, off... You guys put the 'fun' in dysfunction."
She looked so incredibly pleased with herself, putting her hands on her hips and cocking her head. Emma had had enough. She pushed past Manny and headed for the library again.
"Sorry, Em," Manny called after her. "I didn't mean to hit a nerve!"
Emma walked faster, but as she turned the corner, she could still hear Manny laughing.
Just as Emma thought she'd be able to get Sean out of her head, Manny had to go and throw him in her face again. That's what bothered her so much, she told herself. Not that there might be anything to what Manny had said.
I'm not going after Sean, Emma told herself. I'm not trying to steal him away from Ellie. I'm just trying to feel something again, so my life doesn't feel like it's over – just like Sean said. He helped me out last night, that's all.
No big deal.
As she walked to the library, Emma kept repeating this to herself. If she said it enough times, she might actually start to believe it.
