Chris: Last time on Total Drama Island. The campers headed to the city of Montreal, to have a shootout in an old film lot. The Gophers were to keep the Bass from stealing a ton of cash from the bank in the lot. Grim killed Kenny, Izzy beat up Kim, and Geoff got to see Gwen's underwear. In the end, The Bass team lost its fourth straight challenge, and voted off Mr. lose-his-pants-a-lot, Ron.

Will the Bass finally regain that spark that helped them win five straight challenges?

Will Izzy and Jack continue their rivalry?

And will Kenny ever get through an episode alive?

Find out now, on Total Drama Island!


(Cue Theme Song)


"Listen up you little cockroaches," Chef screamed over the intercom, "Everyone is to report to the dock of shame at o nine hundred hours." All of the campers looked around at one another confusedly. "That means now soldiers, now!" The campers shouted in fear as they ran to the docks.

There, they saw Chef, wearing military attire. As he examined the forty-five remaining campers, he smirked when he walked past D.J. This was going to be easy. All he had to do was make life easier for D.J. than the rest, and he would be one step closer to a whole lot of money.

"This is going to be a fun day," Mandy said sarcastically to June.

"What was that soldier?" Chef shouted at the Goth through a megaphone.

"Nothing," Mandy said fearfully. Many of the campers cringed when they realized that even she was scared of the military man.

"And you will continue to say nothing," Chef said, "until I say you can say something." Chef began to pace in front of the campers, and began to speak to all of them. "Today's challenge will not be an easy one," he continued, "In fact; I expect some of you will not survive." He suddenly punched Owen when the big-boned boy chuckled. "My orders are to make sure that all but one of the babies in front of me drops out. The last one standing wins immunity for their team."

"What happened to Chris?" Heather asked hesitantly.

"Rule number one," Chef shouted into the megaphone, you will address me, as Master Chief. Have You Got That!"

"Yes Master Chief!" the campers exclaimed fearfully.

"Rule number two," Chef shouted, holding up two fingers, "You will sleep when I tell you to sleep, and you will eat, only when I tell you to eat, is that clear!" He finished this tangent by shouting in Jude's face.

"Yes master Chief!"

"Rule number three," Chef shouted, "When you are ready to give up, you will go to the end of the dock, and ring the bell." Chef pointed at the bell near the edge of the dock of shame. "Which brings me to rule number four, I would like to eliminate the first baby before the first day is over, and that day will not end until somebody drops out." Chef then turned back to the campers. "So get your butts to the beach! Now soldiers! Now!" The campers screamed as the raced to the beach.


Gwen: Okay, whoever's sick, twisted idea this was to place this guy in charge of a challenge, I have to say… I'm kinda impressed.

Brian: This will be a piece of cake. I have already gone through boot camp, so this should be a synch.


"Your first challenge," Chef said to the campers while standing on a beach, "Is to hold a canoe over your heads. I catch you taking your hands off the canoe, you will be eliminated. And no one eats lunch, until someone drops out." The campers cringed as Chef chuckled evilly. "Canoes Up!"

As the campers lifted their boats up, the two teams were surprised at how easy the challenge was going.

"This isn't that hard," Owen said.

"Piece of cake," Geoff answered.


The task was no longer easy after three hours, as the baking midday heat was cooking the teams. There task was even harder now, because both Chris and Chef were now sitting on the canoes.

"Guess none of you are hungry," the former military man said insultingly, "So I suppose you won't be eating lunch." He then paused for a second to readjust his glasses. "Unless one of you wants to drop out?" Owen's stomach growled after several seconds,

"Don't even think about it Owen!" Izzy shouted irately.

"Ah, screw it!" Cartman shouted as he let his part of the boat down. The other Gophers were shocked at Cartman's selfishness and laziness.

"Looks like we got ourselves a quitter!" Chef said gleefully.

The Gophers groaned as Cartman rang the bell, quitting the challenge. The two teams threw the canoes off, as Chef walked up to Cartman.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of son," Chef said, before yelling, "Except being a big fat quitter!" The amount of air he realized in his voice was strong enough to knock him over. "As for the rest of you, head to the mess hall, lunch is served!"


"Listen up maggots," Chef said as he stood by a collection of trash cans, "You have ten minutes to eat before we begin evening training."

As the campers groaned, Chef went to the staff tent in order to get real food; his gloating caused many of the campers to glare at him. When he left, no one saw D.J. secretly putting some of his Momma's Spice into the trashcans. So when the campers ate the trash, at least it was edible.

"How's it going Jen?" Jude asked in his laid back manner.

"This show is evil!" Jen said as she slowly slurped up some left over pasta, "I am being forced to eat garbage for Christ's sake!"

"Come on," Jude said, "This isn't so bad."

As Jude said this, Kenny suddenly started coughing. After several seconds, he started rolling on the floor while hyperventilating. Eventually his eyes rolled up in a death like state. Suddenly, from his hood, a chicken bone came out a puddle of drool.

"Oh my God!" Stan screamed, "They killed Kenny!"

"You Bastards!" Kyle exclaimed as he stuck his head outside the tent.


After dumping Kenny's corpse and finishing their meals, the campers were forced outside. As the sun set, Chef turned on a radio, and began to do a rip off of Thriller. The campers all moaned as they began to also do the dance, trying to keep up with the strange moves the old army corporal was making.

"You're not that bad," Jude said to Jen, who was completing the moves quickly.

"This is easy," Jen replied, "This guy is a pushover. My boss is ten times worse than this guy."

Mean while, Geoff and Gwen were dancing right next to each other. Geoff smirked as he saw Gwen stumble around as she danced.

"Having a little trouble there, Gwen?" Geoff asked slyly. Gwen scowled as she continued to dance.

"Say one more word and I will make you eat mud, cowboy," she seethed.

"Alright," Geoff said fearfully, "chill, sorry."

"No talking while dancing!" Chef shouted from the platform he was dancing on.

After about five minutes of continuous dancing, the music suddenly stopped. Chef angrily glared down at Duncan, who had turned off the rip off music. The campers all sighed in relief as they suddenly sat down to take a break.

"If one of us drops out," Duncan explained, "were done for the day." He said to a relieved group of campers, who all sighed in relief as Duncan went to the dock to ring the bell.

"Not so fast," Chef said, grabbing Duncan by the collar, "You aren't going to get out that easy." He then turned to the campers and smirked.

"Don't worry kiddies;" Chef said sadistically, "I have one more challenge left before you turn in for bed. But first, anyone have something else to say?"

"Yeah," all eyes turned to Gwen, "Can I go to the bathroom?"


"This is not what I had in mind," Gwen sighed as she began to mop up the floor of the bathroom.


"For your next challenge," Chef said as he and the campers waited in the dining hall, "Your task is to write a three hundred word essay about how much you love me." He then noticed the exhausted appearance of most of the campers. "Anyone who falls asleep, or fails to complete the challenge, will be eliminated."

The campers started to write the incredibly tedious essay at eight-thirty, and where startled when Chef shouted, "Times Up!" at ten.

As Chef began to take up all of the papers, he began to read Duncan's. "I love Chef Hatchet because he is very, very, very, very, very…" The sergeant stopped reading. "This is just one long sentence full of verys."

"It is three hundred words exactly," Duncan explained. Chef then turned angrily to see a sleeping Jonesy, Nikki, Ed, Shake, Meatwad, Caitlin, Stan, Kyle, and Courage. Everyone else, besides Jude, Jen, Duncan, Jack, Grim, Rick, Geoff, Gwen, Owen, Bojack, Brian, Heather, Harold, Double D, Ezekiel, Izzy and Leshawna had been unable to complete there sheets, so they were also eliminated. Chef scowled, he would have to make up for D.J.'s exhaustion on his own.

"Everyone go to bed. For those of you that are still in the competition, meet out in the courtyard at o five hundred hours for your next challenge."


It was five am in the morning, and the remaining campers were all standing in front of an obstacle course, that was muddy, had swinging axes, and climbing walls. "You will all run this course, until you can complete it in under one minute," Chef explained, before blowing his whistle.

The campers suddenly jumped onto the obstacle course, running their hardest so they could go get some sleep. Some were easily able to get through the obstacles, like Duncan and Gwen. Others had problems. Harold was barely able to climb the wall, and fell onto the other side. When he tried to stand up, he spat out a great amount of mud, and he was eliminated from the challenge.

As Duncan snickered about his rival's defeat, Chef yelled at him to continue the obstacle course. After ten go arounds, only Jack, Brian, and Izzy had managed to complete the course. As Duncan crawled by a stuck Leshawna, he taunted her. "Fallen soldier, I salute you!" He was then shocked to see Chef looking down at him.

"You just bought yourself twenty more push ups!" the drill sergeant shouted.

"Thank you sir," Duncan said, before giving the big man a kiss on the nose. Chef's blood began to boil. Many of the campers stopped what they were doing to look at Chef in horror.

"I think you pushed him over the edge bro," Geoff said fearfully to Duncan.

"You might be right about that one," Duncan conceded.

Chef suddenly smirked evilly. "One night of solitary confinement," Chef said, before adding, "In the boat house."

All of the campers gasped when they heard the punishments location. Duncan just shrugged it off.

"What's the worst thing that could happen," Duncan said nonchalantly, "It can't be that scary."


Geoff: (Slaps forehead) that is the one thing you never say, because it will come back to bite you.

Harold: Idiot!


Duncan was wrong; it was very, very scary. The house was covered in hooks, teeth, dead fish, and boating supplies. Duncan held himself while he sighed in frustration.

"Me and my big mouth."


"Is anyone else sick of Duncan playing fast and loose in this game?" Kim asked her fellow remaining campers. All of the Bass and several of the Gophers all nodded their heads.

"But what can we do?" Geoff said sadly, "We don't want to lose another challenge, and Duncan is in the boat house."

"Chef is in his tent right now," Kim said, "I say we do something and let Duncan get blamed for it."

"But what could we do that Duncan would be blamed for?" Harold asked sadly. He really wanted to get back at that jerk for making his life miserable.

"Once a thief," Kim said slyly, "always a thief."

The Bass, Gwen, Izzy, and even Bart huddled together to make a plan to get back at the jail bird.

And like all great plans, it started with cheese.


Chef was smiling as he watched his favorite channel. No one showed what he loved more than the My Little Pony. He sighed as he sipped his cup of fresh black coffee. Yes, life was good.

He suddenly smelled a delicious aroma over the smell of his coffee. It made his lips water, but he wondered what it could be. He suddenly looked outside, and realized what the smell was. It was a giant hunk of cheddar cheese sitting on a plate. It had a tag that said, 'to Chef, from Chris.'

Chef was too enamored by the cheese to notice a few glaring problems in the story that Chris had given him a hunk of cheese. The first problem was that Chris was currently spending a few days off sight in order to get a pedicure. The second, and more glaring reason why the story about the cheese was wrong, was that Chris would never send a present to anyone, not even his own mother. So, after a few seconds, it was no surprise when Chef collapsed in a sleepy thud. Jen and Jude gave a high five as they snuck out of the bushes where they had been hiding, entering Chef's tent, where he had his own fridge sitting out in the open.


Jen: You think Chef would be smart enough to hide the chloroform. He left it sitting out on the counter in the infirmary. And the entire camp hates him, so he should have been more carful about the cheese. (Suddenly stops for a moment and taps her chin) You think this island attracts idiots.


"Man," Jude said as he held open a burlap sack, "I never knew that Chef had all of this great food just stashed in his fridge."

"If we get caught," Jen said as she cautiously placed a container of gelatin in the sack, "We will be in such big trouble."

"Luckily for us," Jude smirked as he grabbed a can of peaches, "We won't be the people being caught." Jen gained an identical smirk, before she pulled out something from behind her back.

"From the Killer Bass," she said happily, as she placed the fish were all of the food used to be. The two then snuck away to the cabins, snickering about how well phase one had gone.


All of the campers were sitting in the Bass cabin, eating the delicious goodies that Jude and Jen had stolen. As Owen downed a jar of toe jam, he suddenly held his foot up to Nikki.

"I think that obstacle course gave me toe jam," he said. Nikki was so disgusted by him, she poked her head out the window and purged.

Meanwhile, Gwen was talking with Bridgette, Leshawna, D.J., and Geoff.

"And what is with all these lame war stories," Gwen said, before taking a bite of her giant cookie, "He is so demented."

"Let me tell ya something," Leshawna said, "My feet weren't meant for combat training."

"Seriously," Bridgette said as she stroked Courage, who was enjoying a bottle of pop, "if I wanted to join the army, I would have."

"Got to say Jen," Jude said as he chewed on an apple, "You can do some pretty cool things when you aren't completely focused on listening to the rules."

"What can I say," Jen replied, "I guess all of those years working for Coach Halder, I probably got tired of being pushed around."

"Awesome bra," Jude said, admiring the brunette as she chugged a bottle of soda.

"Guys," Harold said as he took a bite of his apple, "When are we going to prank Duncan?"

"Right about…," Kim said, as Chef's voice came over the intercom.

"Attention campers," Chef shouted, "Your training continues at seven tomorrow morning. And if I find who stole my food, I will kick your ass all the way to Detroit."

"…Now," Kim said as she and the remaining pranksters grabbed what was left of the food and rushed to the boat house. When the entered the wooden building, the saw that Duncan was still sleeping. The quietly placed the discarded food next to him, and then high tailed it out of there.

"What the heck," Duncan mumbled as he woke up, and saw the discarded containers. He was startled when he heard the door slam open, revealing an irate Chef.

"So you are the little thief, eh?" Chef said. He then grabbed the punk by the ear. "I have a special punishment for you in the next challenge."


"I'll get you jerks back for this," Duncan said to his teammates, as the remaining campers all hung from a tree, upside down. Duncan, however, also had giant weights tied to his arms. The other campers snickered as Chef began to pace past the tree.

"What you are experiencing is an ancient form of torture," Chef said, "You will begin to grow dizzy as the blood rushes to your head.

Thud!

Duncan was currently lying on the ground, unable to hold himself up any longer. Jack realized that they would not last much longer. He silently reached up to the branch he was hanging on, and grabbed a hold of it. All of the other campers began to do the same.

Owen was not nearly as flexible as the others, and he was unable to grab the branch. As he reached for it, he farted, right at Heather and Brian.

"Oh God no!" Brian said, before fainting. He knew he would rue the day he was born with unusually large nostrils.

"That is it," Heather said angrily, suddenly jumping off the tree acrobatically, "I am done with this." She landed gracefully, only to be crushed under Owen, who could no longer hold onto the branch. "Get off me you big ox!" the queen bee shouted, as she managed to dislodge herself from under the teen.

"Whoa!" Jen shouted, losing her grip. She fell to the ground, lightly hitting her head.

"Jen!" Jude shouted as he saw his friend fall. He quickly jumped down to see how she was doing. He smiled when he saw that she was okay.

"It's down to our four final members," Chef said, as he walked by, "Can you handle the pressure?"

"Oh yeah," Gwen said, giving them a thumbs up, "I got this."

"Right on!" Geoff shouted, "I live for the head rush!" Five seconds later, both of them fell to the ground in sickening thuds.

Now it was between the old rivals, Jack and Izzy. Both began to have a staring contest, not letting up in their ferocity. After several seconds, Izzy's cheeks started to turn red, and within a minute, she would fall to the ground, out cold.

The Bass cheered as Jack had finally helped them win another challenge. As Jack hopped down from the branch, Chef walked up to the Asian man and saluted him.

"Congratulations Jack," Chef said, "I would go to war with you any time."

"Thank you," Jack said softly while returning the salute. The Bass all picked him on their shoulders, and began to carry him to their cabin for a party. No one saw the tear of pride that slipped down Chef's cheek. Chef wiped it away, before throwing the samurai the MVC medal, and walking back to get ready to drive the next camper on the boat.


"Were in trouble," Heather said, as she and her alliance began to prepare for the nights vote, "the rest of the team wants to vote off Cartman."

"Why the fuck would they want to vote me off?" Cartman asked in a frightened manner.

"You were the first one to drop out," Heather said angrily, "But unfortunately, we need you around so we can keep a tab on Izzy's alliance."

"So what should we do?" Caitlin said exasperatedly.

"Listen," Cartman said, "I will try to convince the others to vote off someone else, and if that doesn't work, I will always have plan B."

"What's plan B?" Mandy asked confusedly.

"Don't worry your pretty little head about that," Cartman said, "I will handle this."

Mandy then grabbed Cartman by the jacket, and punched him in the jaw. When the others looked at her in a shocked manner, she explained, "No one calls me pretty."


"So you see," Cartman said as innocently as possible to the members of team E-scope, " Frylock has just joined Heather's alliance, and I only dropped out so we could all get some rest, understand?"

"That is the biggest load of bullshit I have ever heard," Gwen said as she and the other members of the alliance walked away from the fat boy.

"Well looks like it is time for plan B," Cartman said, waiting for his turn to be called up to vote.


"Achoo!" Gwen sneezed as she huddled ion a blanket. Stupid obstacle course gave her a damn cold.

"Campers," Chris said as he walked up to the Gophers, who had just finished voting, "Only twenty-one of you will be receiving marshmallows tonight, the loser-

"-will have to immediately walk the dock of shame, take a ride on the boat of losers, and can never come back," everyone, even Lindsey, said in frustration.

"Fine spoil sports," Chris said angrily.

"The first marshmallows go to Gwen, Izzy, Heather, Bart, Jonesy, and Nikki."

They all caught their marshmallows.

"Owen, Stewie, Fry, Leela, Shake, Early, and Kenny also all receive marshmallows."

Owen caught his marshmallow in his mouth, while the others caught theirs normally.

"Caitlin, Leshawna, Mandy, Lindsey, Bojack, Meatwad, and Brian, you are all also safe."

Meatwad, like Owen before him, caught his marshmallow in his mouth. The campers turned their focus to Frylock and Cartman, both of whom seemed very confident.

"The final marshmallow goes to…

…Cartman."

"What the fuck!" Frylock shouted angrily. All of the campers, sans Cartman looked shocked. As Frylock was dragged away tooth and nail, many wondered how he could have been eliminated.

"How did you pull this off?" Heather asked Cartman, who was walking back to the camp.

"Plan B," he said simply.


(Two hours earlier)

Cartman: (Holding box in hand, and twirling a screwdriver) I am not going home until I win, so… (Suddenly opens the box, takes out the original votes, and switches them out for a new set of votes) Let's see if you can vote me off with plan B in place assholes.


Cartman silently smirks at the camera.

"Yes."


"You okay," Geoff said as he and Gwen sat on the dock looking out onto the lake.

"I'll be fine," Gwen sniffled, while rubbing her nose with a handkerchief. She then shivered. "Man it is cold out here."

Her face grew redder as Geoff swung his arm around her and hugged her.

"This better?" he asked teasingly. Geoff chuckled when she mumbled out a few words, unable to come up with a response.

Unbeknownst to them, many people were watching them.

"Isn't that sweet," Morty said as he Courage, D.J., and Bridgette stared at the rather different couple sitting on the dock.

"Sure is," D.J. said dreamily, before pulling Bridgette into a light hug, which she quickly returned.

"Well looks like we're the only ones without girlfriends," Morty sighed, "Huh Courage."

Courage wasn't so sure about that statement, as even though she had yet to show them, he had a good feeling that there was a girl out there that liked Morty, and it would be only a little while longer until she showed those feelings. But now was not the time to worry about that, he would rather just watch the young couples who were already had begun their relationships.


"Well that was a successful challenge," Chris said happily. He then heard a thumping noise, and turned to see Andrew, wearing a suit that had been torn to rags, glaring at him. Chris gulped as he saw that his plan had been foiled

"You son of a bitch," Andrew seethed, "You locked me in a cellar for nine freaking days. I have been living off rats and drain water for nine freaking days, and now you are about to pay for it."

"No!"

"That is right, say goodbye to nine days worth of pay!"

"Why!"

The campers all were treated to the sweet sounds of Chris suffering as they realized that their main benefactor was back.


Losers: Courtney, Zim, Noah, Eva, Sadie, Justin, Billy, Rusty, Trent, Cody, Beth, Wyatt, Katie, Homer, Ron, Frylock

AN: Originally Brian was supposed to be the one voted off in this chapter, but I decided to keep him around a little longer. Hope you enjoyed anyway.