The Inquiry of the Ramen Cup Fairy
By: Kaki-kun

"Nekkyou!" Kohaku hollered while busting down the door and nearly toppling over Shuju for not seeing her. Or more not knowing she was behind the door. Yes, it's a bad short person joke, sue me.

The emanating light slowly faded, a wisp of ramen scent filled the room as a cloud appeared engulfing the microwave, a horribly stunned and coughing Nekkyou could be seen through the opacity of it. Shuju's eyes narrowed as she took a step forward, barely able to make out what seemed to be a figure of some sort, yes, even smaller than herself.

And it was floating in the air.

A note is required regarding the third chapter. The statement, not to be confused with The Statement, is such that there was, in fact, no importance of the microwave being engulfed in smoke. If anything wasn't exactly impartial to dried ramen bits erupting into the air, it would have been the toaster. How do think the toaster felt, huh? Lo, here it was, off to the side of the room, lonely, minding it's own business as the other appliances flocked in envy of the microwave being mentioned, and, suddenly, the ramen! The ramen smoke snuffed every last one of them out, shorting out their panels, nothing remained in its fearful wake.

What was the fate of the toaster, the only survivor of the catastrophe for not being a social firefly? Weak circuits and ramen-flavored bread. The sheer injustice of it all.

Toasters deserve more respect. Stop abusing them and Put. The. Fork. Down. The toaster is doing it's best to satisfy you, it doesn't need to deal with the stress of you holding a fork threateningly over it. If you really want to electrocute yourself THAT BADLY, maybe you should do it by other means that wouldn't endanger a poor toaster. Think of the humanity the next time you enjoy a warm piece of toast!

End note.

---

The three gasped as the ramen bits smoke cleared, and stopped stinging their eyes…and when they stopped failing and shrieking about raining microwavable food, so yes, back to the real point, they gasped at the realization of the revealed said floating object's true identity- as the author contemplated FINALLY ending the fricking sentence. It was a small tuft of yellow hair, cute nonetheless, if you happened to overlook the tan-ish hide, hmm, what is the right word, because it really wasn't a hide because said object had to be dead and skinned to therefore produce a hide, cringe, kin, minge… oh yes, skin (Please don't ask as to how minge has anything to do with skin)! There was blonde hair as yellow as the sun, which isn't really yellow if you come to think of it because it's really just a mass of hydrogen and extremities, and skin, followed by some hard components, in which the author should really stop typing their thoughts and should mention that it was mostly bone and skull that made up the hard components, but won't, and there was an awful orange gaudy fabric encasing the little body with fuzzy –and somehow bubbling –red… tails.
Wow, that was highly unnecessary, don't you agree?

"Awww, it looks just like Naruto!" Shuju squealed while she moved up behind Nekkyou. Blue eyes, that gradually faded to red the closer it came to his cheek below, looked up at the much taller being in front of him and frowned with confusion.

"I AM Naruto!"

More silence followed as the people in the room stared at the said proclaimed "Naruto". The tiny creature huffed while crossing his arms, glaring at the much taller people in front of him and trying to keep down the sudden fear rising up in his stomach; it was screaming and wailing and shouting and kicking about how this was all horribly wrong and where was his lawyer when he needed him? His thoughts followed as such.

'What the hell is going on? Where am I? Why is everyone so big? Why is every-THING so big? Will I get compensation from the village for this? Is that…RAMEN?'

And he proceeded to dive head first into the paper bag.

"RAMEN!"

Nekkyou's eye twitched as she leaned forward, snatched one of the red tails and pulled the blonde out of the ramen, dusted with unboiled ramen bits. He glanced up at her and growled, voice suddenly becoming much deeper than before, itching with Kyuubi infestation.

"Let me go!" He then paused to finally analyze the killer aura that was completely wafting off the humanoidish giant in front of him, engulfing himself in the process, and that he was, indeed, in serious danger. A lighter side of him decided to note that maybe protesting wasn't the best option he had taken.

"WHY ARE YOU NOT KAKASHI?" She yelled and proceeded to strangle his entire body in clasped hands. Shuju laughed, a high pitched eerie giggle before clearing her throat in a more 'apropos' manner. Kohaku stared and slowly inched back down the stairs. Inch by inch. By inch. By inch. And falling down on the last step, cursing the author with voodoo dolls and going back to playing DDR with Rikou.

"What happened," Rikou asked while giving Kohaku a strange look as the other put in her contacts and blinked hard to clear them up. Why she was not wearing them upstairs all depends on which loophole you decide upon (the author would like to point out that loophole #76a isn't really a loophole but merely a resort island full of flying, brain-eating pygmies).

"I don't know, nor do I want to," Kohaku replied while shaking her head, grumbling something about Naruto and Kakashi-obsessed idiots.

And it was then left be at that.

"Neko-chan seriously, stop, he's too cute to strangle," Shuju said while glaring at Nekkyou.

"B-But," Nekkyou paused to protest with tears brimming her eyes. Naruto took this time to count the stars he could see floating around his head and wonder where he had seen them before.

Oh, that's right. He saw them all the time around Sakura.
The stars shook their head in pseudo-pity.

"He's not Kakashi!" Nekkyou sniffled.

"Duh. Neither am I, but you aren't going to strangle me, right?" Shuju stated, then immediately regretted it by frowning as Nekkyou stared at her wide-eyed with mischief. "You do and I kill you." Shuju grabbed Naruto away and eyed him over.

"Wow, such craftsmanship for a plushie… I think I'll call it Kawaii Kyu-Naru-Chibi," She squealed again while pulling on the fairy wings.

"Ow, hey, leggo--what the hell!" Naruto exclaimed and, to his utter shock, he discovered multiple things about himself that he never knew before. No, he didn't do it by looking inside himself. It's just a waste of time doing things like that, which SpongeBob (insert shudder if you must) proved to us one fateful day. It was more like the amazement of a child which just so happens to one day look down and realize that they had, in fact, those 'things' of the adults that moved around at will, but so much smaller, then coming of knowledge and learning they were dubbed 'appendages' by all of humankind.

In this sense, Naruto had nine clearly visible red tails and a pair of fairy wings to boot. And only someday through extensive research will he discover the true intentions and reasoning of why.
Or perhaps not because life happens to be cruel like that.

"I wonder if it says anything other than a series of cuss words," Shuju questioned blandly in distaste while glaring at the figure.

---

Lack of authoritism note: Shuju is not fond of cussing which tends to be a very problematic issue to all of her friends. And anyone else who happens to swear too much. Remember boys and girls, The Big Man doesn't like sin. And it's a sin to talk like a sailor. Or be a sailor. Argggg.
Just like doing Math in History class.

---

Shuju continued to flip Naruto over and over in her hand, which was beginning to make him dizzy, as she looked over every detail in his outfit from headband and furry tails.

"Maybe I could figure out how to make a plushie like this out of Gaara and Hiei…" Nekkyou bounced up over next to Shuju, standing uncomfortably close to the smaller friend.

"You think you could make one of Kakashi that way then?" Her eyes gleamed in a disturbing sort of way.

And then suddenly, the animator died.
No, because then we'd all be cast into a pit of despair. Besides, the author clearly understands that she needs no animator. In fact, the author knows so well, she used this as an excuse to temporarily blind the readers with loophole #24r and therefore have the others emerge in sudden enlightenment.

"I'm sick of being patient," Kage huffed bitterly while suddenly being there in the dusted kitchen with Kohaku and Rikou. "Put down the Kakashi keychain and continue dammit!" Shuju glared at Kage for cursing. Nekkyou stuck out her tongue, to the best of her abilities, born with a tongue attached to the bottom of her mouth from the very tip. Ah, the cruelty of life. And sailor speak.

"Why should I?"

"Because I want my ramen," Kage threw her hands up in the air. "That or fries! Pick one already!" Rikou shyly glanced between the four of her bickering friends while muttering a comment about a previous note.

"So, who cares about toasters?"

"I do," Nekkyou snorted while locking her arm around Rikou's head and proceeding with a noogie.

"OW! What are you talking about, you beat your toaster with a spatula!" Nekkyou folded her arms and pouted.

"I do it out a deep sincere love in my heart!" Nekkyou insisted while putting a hand over her heart. Which happened to have a certain Kakashi keychain in it.

"You guys," Kohaku growled, irritated enough by the nonsense and of the inching and of the tripping of the stairs and of the Kakashi obsessive. ness.
Word.

"Well, Neko-chan WAS making ramen, but then the kitchen burst into ramen bits and we found this instead."

Kage was a middle child, not to be confused with Children of the Middle, which happens to be quite a brief story about events completely unrelated to Kage's family line, so yes, she had an older brother and a younger brother who did not, apparently, compare to Kohaku's irritating lineage called family. She adores salt, and things with salt, and food because she too is often deprived of the nutritious supplements of life. Like Nekkyou and Shuju, she is also psychotic and hyper at times, although, had been able to mellow out slightly over the years and with the help of good ol' teenage angst.
(Teenage angst is now available in a convenient plastic bottle to take with you anywhere on the road!)
Although, unfortunately, people still do not take her seriously despite her actually acting and being serious.
The closest to Nekkyou probably in physical standards, for some inexplicable reason, people also seem to believe they look alike despite Kage being dirty blonde and Nekkyou having brunette hair with highlights.

Come on people, get real.

She also enjoys being in flags along with hanging out with friends and goofing off in her own way.

Shuju held up the chibi Naruto, as he squirmed in an uncomfortable light that happened to surround his presence.

"Dude, get it OFF!"
The light faded away and he snorted.
That's more like it!

Kohaku, Kage, and Rikou stared at Naruto as if seeing him in a new light. One that did not involve a screen or 2D animations at all.

"DUDE, it's Naruto," Rikou observed all so splendidly.

"I guess now we can finally have the Chuunin St. Valentine's Day massacre," Kohaku said while poking Naruto to check if it was real. Yup. It was real. And then began to laugh in spontaneous evil about the ninja world FINALLY having guns which shall be blamed upon an evil demon koala bear.

And everyone stared.

Then, Shuju glanced around impedingly.

"You never saw nothing."

The author, after severe concealing sessions, has finally submitted into acknowledging that there is, in fact, no such thing as Children of the Middle.

Argggg.