Chris: Last time on Total Drama Island. The campers engaged in a battle of who's who in our cast list. We learned that Grim is a master limbo dancer; Stewie has his own line of diapers, back in the 90's, Bojack was in a very famous TV show, and even in this mild of an episode, Kenny still found a way to die.

The real action happened in part two, when the Gophers competed in individual immunity. While Jonesy talked back to Heather, Mongolians tore down Nikki's wall. Eventually, Gwen won immunity, with more than a little help from Geoff. In the end, Jonesy's comments cost him, and he was the next one to leave on the dock of shame.

Will Cartman continue to control the game?

Will Jack and Izzy's rivalry heat up again?

And will for the love of god, Kenny ever live through an episode?

Find out now, on Total Drama Island!


(Cue Theme song)


"Congratulations campers," Chris said to them over the intercom, "I hope you are all proud, you have just managed to out last seventeen losers that were your cast-mates. Now get to the mess hall, were having a real fun challenge."


Andrew: Chris really should look up the definition of fun in the dictionary.


"I hope (Snicker), your ready to (snicker) eat," Chris giggled. The campers just glared at their host.

"Just stop giggling, and tell us what we are doing for a challenge," Heather said irritably.

"Today's challenge is, The Brunch of Disgustingness," The campers blanked, "Your challenge, is a series of rounds, involving one meal. Each meal is so gross, that it makes Chef's food look gourmet. Each time you finish one meal, you move on. Fail to eat a meal, you are out. Last team with one of their members standing, wins invincibility."

"…Your mother never hugged you as a child, did she?" Morty asked sarcastically.


Bridgette: Well, I guess we'll do okay. I mean I will eat anything once. Except meat, I can't eat meat.


"Your first meal is a delicacy made by our very own Chef Hatchet," Chris said as the campers sat at their tables.

"You got stomach pumps ready?" Geoff asked with his cheeks tinged green.

"The meal is," Chris said, pulling off the tablecloth that covered the plates, "bark shakes, made from bark, rotten milk, and just a few raw eggs."

Many of the campers just stared at the horrific concoctions sitting in front of them. Slowly, Ed brought his lips to the straw, and slurped it up.

"Yummy!" he exclaimed.

Slowly, the rest of the campers attempted to down the drink. Just as it appeared everyone passed, Nikki held her stomach, rushed out the door, and puked.

"Looks like Nikki is the first one out," Chris said sadistically, gleefully enjoying the girl's pain.

"Man," Geoff said with a sickly tone, "you're saying that even if we puke up this stuff, you'll eliminate us?"

"Yes," Chris said, ignoring the thud of Geoff's skull hitting the table. He then turned and waved to Chef, who was carrying another large platter of food.

"Your next dish is," the top was removed, "A toilet paper and fried onion surprise." The campers stared in horror at the toilet paper covered in greasy onions, though Chris had the courtesy to not use used toilet paper. As the campers attempted to chew the flaky, greasy paper, Chris turned to the camera.

"I love my job," he said happily.

"Oh, how I detest you Chris Mclean," Double D moaned, before he, Courage, and Ezekiel all purged, knocking them out of the contest.

"Wow you guys have weak stomachs."

Stan and Kyle both flipped the narcissist off.

"Your next dish is a blast from the past," Chris said, before revealing a bowl of meat balls, "Bull Testicles."

All of the males, even Grim, winced. "Why do you continue to do this to our bovine brothers, dude!" Geoff screamed.

"Because it's fun!" Chris laughed, before placing the balls in front of them.

The women, while kind of grossed out, were able to eat the meatballs with few problems. The men were not so strong. Owen and Ed were only eating at half their monster paces, Harold picked up a ball and squeezed it. D.J. just looked at the bowl, and a tear dropped down his face.

"It's the hardest thing a man can do," Chris said solemnly. Somehow, all of the campers made it through the round, and were preparing for the next challenge. The campers were beginning to look sick, and more than a few looked like they were ready to puke.

"Your next dish is an old favorite," Chris said, as Chef carried out a large platter from the kitchen, "Whose hungry for steak?" Many of the campers looked confused until he added, "From beaver."


Geoff: I think they just picked some stuff off the side of the road and called it food.

Chef: How did he know where I got my food?


"I can't do this," Bridgette moaned. She looked at the dead rodent lying in front of her. "I'm a vegetarian."

"Bridge," D.J. said, "Calm down," seeing that she was still not sure about eating the beaver, he added, "at least it won't attract any other animals onto the road where they could be killed."

Bridgette gave a small smile to the gentle giant before turning her head to the meal and slowly eating it. Geoff gave a thumb up to D.J., when the sound of gagging was heard. On the Gopher side, Stewie had lost his lunch, and soon afterward, Fry, Brian, and Caitlin also threw up.


Stan: Man, this challenge is getting pretty intense; I don't want to know what's next.

Bridgette: It was really nice of D.J. to do that for me.

Chef: That boy is too soft. Even though it helped his team over all, I am going to have to increase my lessons for him.


The next two rounds were completed without any interruptions, though many realized that that the meals were only going to get tougher. Chris smiled sadistically as he prepared to announce the next dish.

"I am sure you guys all know that after dinner," Chris said, "Comes dessert! Your meal is ice cream made of rotten milk, crushed ants, and of course, ground up coach roaches!"

"Jesus Christ, dude!" Stan shouted, "Does your entire life revolve around torturing us?"

"Yes," Chris said with a smirk, "Yes it does."

The campers began to slide the frozen ball of disgustingness, and hardly any one seemed to enjoy it. As soon as it touched her lips, Lindsey had had enough and puked, as had Jen, Jude, Eddy, Morty, and Tyler.

The campers looked exhausted after eating all of the gross food, and Chris chuckled as he realized they would not last much longer.

"Our next dish is an exotic delicacy," Chris said, as the campers were shown their plates, "Porpoise wieners, hot dogs made from dolphins."

Bridgette gasped in terror. "But dolphins are our friends." She slowly pushed the poor dead sea mammal away from her, as the others sighed.

"I'm with you Bridgette," D.J. said as he pushed his meal away, "I am not eating a dolphin."


Bridgette: That was the nicest, sweetest, kindest thing any one has ever done for me. D.J. is so sweet.

Chef: That idiot really is costing us. I got to get him to stop trying to impress that girl.


After a few more rounds, the only campers left were Grim, Jack, Ed, Bender, Geoff and Harold for the Bass, and Kenny, Leshawna, Shake, Meatwad, and Owen for the Gophers. They all were holding their stomachs in pain, hoping the torture would soon be over.

"Wow," Chris said, "I'm really surprised, Izzy isn't here."

"Yeah," Owen said, "but for some reason, she wasn't able to eat those wonderful moth shakes."

The mere thought of those awful concoctions caused Geoff's stomach to grumble, and he raced outside, barfing noises clearly audible. The Bass glared at Owen, who they thought had been using psychological warfare.

I don't think he even knows what "psychological" means.

"Your next dish is a wonderful gunpowder cake," Chris said, as he cut a slice from each cake, placing it on each of their plates. The campers slowly began to pick at the cakes, while Kenny ate his whole. Unfortunately, he failed to notice a giant fuse coming from the cake, and was sticking out his mouth. The fuse was then lit by a spark from a lantern that had been in the middle of the table. Kenny screamed when he saw the lit fuse come towards his mouth.

BOOM!

"Oh my god," Stan shouted, "They killed Kenny!"

"You Bastards!" Kyle exclaimed.


Harold: Man, that guy has worse luck than I do, and I have contracted over one hundred diseases in my lifetime. Course, I have been cured of most of them.

Stan: Poor Kenny. The one thing he is going to be known for in life is getting killed a lot.


As Kenny's remains covered the room, the campers looked disgusted by the scattered remains of the boy. Slowly, all of the campers held their stomachs, and purged in a cannonade of sludge. The amount of puke that covered the room was so massive, it even covered Chris.

"Not cool!" Chris exclaimed in disgust.

"Its times like these that I'm glad I don't actually eat any thing," Grim commented, since he was the only one not covered in puke. Apparently, he didn't actually throw up.

"Amen, to that brother," Bender since he obviously didn't need to eat at all.

"Well," Chris said, "Since Grim and Bender didn't purge looks like the Bass win another challenge!"

The Bass cheered weakly, still to sore after throwing up the contents of their stomachs. The Gophers felt like throwing up again, and felt even worse when Chris flashed one of his evil smiles.

"Good thing for one of you losers, there is another secondary challenge, so clean up and meet me on the dock in ten minutes," he said, and the Gophers did do just that.


"So let me get this straight," Gwen said, "Our challenge is basically us trying to steal an envelope from one of Izzy, and if none of us are able to steal it within one hour, she wins immunity."

"Wow," Chris said, somehow looking up at the last paragraph, "Somehow, the author just managed to wipeout an entire page of dialog in one paragraph, he must really be tired of writing this chapter." A large rock came out of no where and hit him in the head.

"Nobody breaks the fourth wall on my watch!" Izzy shouted angrily, before huffing away, a folder tucked safely under her arm.

"How are we supposed to steal the envelope from her?" Leela pondered.

"Why should we bother," Heather said, "None of us were going to vote for her anyway."

As the queen bee left with her nose raised, Cartman suddenly ran up, flipped the bird at the girl, and rasberried her.

"Fuck you Heather! Fuckin' bitch!"

"Well," Gwen said sadly, "she does have a point, I guess we should plan who to go vote off."

As the girls and Bojack all walked away from the clearing, Cartman realized the only ones left standing around him were Fry, Brian, Stewie, Bart, Shake, Meatwad, Early, Owen and a revived Kenny. How he was back this early is really not that important, he was just back, okay!

"Well," Owen sighed, "I guess we'll never get that envelope."

"Screw that, dude," Cartman said confidently, "we're guys, we can out think her."


"Alright, here's the plan."

Cartman and the others were sitting in the Gopher bedroom, all looking at a sheet that had a map of the camp on it. Cartman suddenly pulled out a laser pointer.

"Izzy always tries to find scraps in the trash can at the back of the kitchen, so that is where we will make our move," Cartman said, while demonstrating it with the pointer, "Stewie will start banging some of the cans with a stick, and when she is distracted, Owen will run up, and kick her in the balls."

"Neeto!" Owen exclaimed, completely unaware of the mistakes in Cartman's understanding of anatomy.

"Once she falls to the ground in pain, Kenny will rush up and steal the envelope, it is so perfect, and it will really work," Cartman said while pointing at the title, "This is why the plan is known a "Plan That Cannot Possibly Fail."

I can think a few of the ways it can.


Izzy growled as she tore through a discarded ham, ripping the scraps from its flesh like a lion eats its kill. Suddenly she heard a noise, and saw Stewie banging a stick on a trashcan. She suddenly saw Owen rushing at her, yelling a war cry. He then stopped in front of her, and kicked her between the legs. Izzy glared at the heavy teen in front of her.

"What the heck's your problem butthole?" she asked rhetorically. Owen, a confused look crossing his face, he kicked her in the crotch again. She glared at Owen, before grabbing his arm and slamming him to the ground. Cartman stared at the scene in horror.

"Bail, bail!" he shouted in horror. As he and Kenny ran, Izzy threw Owen, and the tub of lard landed on Kenny, crushing him.

"Oh my God!" Brian shouted, "They killed Kenny!"

"You Bastards!" Stewie shouted.


"Well," Cartman said as he and the other Gophers sat down at the campfire ceremony, "even though we failed to get the envelope, we learned a lot," he then turned to the members of his team, "primarily that girls do not have balls."

Owen, whose arm was in a sling and had a black eye, agreed. "They sure don't," he said sadly.

"Well," Chris said as he walked into the campfire pit, "You guys really are perennial losers. But any way, time for the marshmallows."


Gwen: Sorry, I like you, but you really didn't do well in the challenge.

Izzy: How dare you kick me in the crotch. You really are up high on my list now Owen.

Heather: Time to get back at you for ruining my alliance.


"The first marshmallow goes to, Izzy."

Izzy easily caught the gelatinous treat.

"Gwen, Leela, Kenny, Fry, and Cartman."

They all also caught their marshmallows.

"Heather, Lindsey, Stewie, Brian, Leshawna, Bart, and Caitlin."

They all also caught their marshmallows.

"Mandy, Bojack, Early, Meatwad, and Shake!"

Ed crushed the marshmallow she received, while Meatwad popped his into his mouth.

"Looks like it's down to you two," Chris said, as both Nikki and Owen looked around nervously at the other campers.

"And the last marshmallow goes to…

…Owen!"

"Wahoo!" The ton of fun shouted, catching the goody in his mouth.

"Sorry Nikki," Chris said, "Time for you to go."

Nikki hugged Caitlin, Leela, Gwen, and Leshawna good bye before mounting the boat of losers, and riding off into the sunset.


Geoff walked up to a blank screen, and looked around for a second, before picking up a card, and reading it.

"Due to the chapter being so small," Geoff read, "The new author for this story has decided to the very first Total Drama Omake section. What that means is anything that was deemed a funny idea, but was decided to be too stupid for the actual plot was stored in an idea tank, and will now be released in small scenes, each with labels to tell you when they happened. (AN: None of these actually happened in the story, and are just little tidbits I thought you would like). The author says he hopes you enjoy them, and forgive him for what little development happened in this chapter. Thank you!"


[Omake one: First challenge, lost pants]

Ron smiled when he saw Kim dive gracefully. He ran back a few steps, and then charged off the side of the cliff. Just as he reached outcropping that Ezekiel hit, he felt a familiar tug on his trunks, and then a slight breeze. He looked down, and sighed.

"I can't even escape this curse in Canada," he muttered.


[Omake two: second challenge, heart attack]

Homer was racing with all of his might, trying to keep up with the others. He suddenly he felt a tug at his chest.

"Damn you heart attack!" Homer screamed, before falling to the ground, out cold.


[Omake three: fourth challenge, mud mummy]

Double D pulled himself from the pool he felt the mud seep through the clothes he was wearing. As he walked with the rest of the campers, he felt it become harder and harder to move. He suddenly felt himself unable to even walk, the mud having hardened up around him.

"Curse this quick drying muck," Double D muttered through the near plaster like dirt.


[Omake four: sixth challenge, web of evil]

"Man, it is days like these that remind me why I'm Goth," Gwen muttered as all of the campers were caught in a giant spider web. They tried their best to ignore the screams of Kenny as he had his insides sucked out.

"Well, guess this is the end," Geoff moaned, "Gwen, in case we don't get out of this, I think you are really, really hot."

"Hey you jerk!" Trent shouted, "I like Gwen." He then punched Geoff in the head, which started a fight between the two teens.

"Wow, two guys fighting over me," Gwen said happily, "Never thought I'd see the day."

Just as the giant arachnid slid down the web, nearing Courage, the dog began to shake vigorously, until, he somehow transformed into a club. As he hummed charge, he smashed the eight legged devil into a gooey paste.

"Courage," Bridgette asked as they escaped the web, "why didn't you do that earlier against the other monsters we've seen?"

Courage simply shrugged, he had no idea himself. He usually just got caught and then escaped, that is how his life usually goes. Meanwhile, Gwen was starting to drool as Geoff and Trent continued to wrestle over her. Only now, they had ripped off each other's shirts.

"Best day ever," she muttered to herself as she giggled perversely.


[Omake five: seventh challenge, For…]

"Okay guys!" Geoff shouted happily to his team, "lets win this one for honor, for our team, and most importantly, for Pizza!"

"For Pizza!" The Bass shouted as they charged into the maze.


[Omake six: tenth challenge, the loudmouth swallow]

"Look, Joe, I think a deer is enough," Barry said hesitantly. They both then heard a squawking sound. They hid behind some bushes.

"I think that's the incredibly rare loud-mouth swallow," Joe said, before slowly sticking his rifle in the direction of the direction of the sound.


(In Playa de Losers)

"…and that is why I should still be in the game!" Courtney explained for the umpteenth time, which caused the other losers to groan. They then heard a bang, and then, a small hole appeared where Courtney's heart had been, and the CIT fell to the ground, dead.

"Hallelujah, God shut her up!" Noah said as he raised his arms to the sky in thanks.


[Omake seven: twelfth challenge, Sex Ed.]

"I can't believe we have to explain this to a teenager," Duncan groaned as he tied the rope tighter around Ezekiel, who was sitting in a chair.

"Why are you guys tying me up?" Ezekiel asked, "All I asked was why I felt funny when I saw Izzy's underwear."

"Zeke," Geoff said, "This is a precaution, this talk we are about to give you is really traumatic, and we don't know how you'll react." Geoff then sighed as he pulled out a book.

"The book we are about to read you is called, "Sexual Intercourse for Morons"."


(Three hours later)

"Think he'll be okay?" D.J. asked as he pointed to an untied Ezekiel, who was sitting in a corner of the room in a fetal position.

"Don't worry," Harold assured him, "Same thing happened to me when I got the lecture. Just give him time and he will come around."

Ezekiel just sat in a corner mumbling to himself. Part of him told himself that the talk he had been given had been just a horrible nightmare. But the other part of him couldn't help but say one thing about a stunning realization.

"So that's what it's for."


[Omake eight, fourteenth challenge, Mad Skills]

"Come on you stupid rodents," Harold muttered to Stewie and Brian as they charged at Harold, "Let's see if you can handle the power of the num-yo's."

In one quick movement, Harold sent both yoyo's into the Gopher's faces, knocking them out. Just as he pulled the ends back, one of the small round devices hit him in the crotch.

"I got hit in the num-yo's by a num-yo."

"Ha!" Stewie laughed.


[Omake nine, fifteenth challenge, Dynamite]

"A-are you sure this will work?" Double D questioned fearfully.

"Sure," Duncan assured him, "I know a whole lot about explosives." He then pushed down on a lever, causing the dynamite around the safe to explode.

Boom!

Double D, completely charred, looked at the safe to see that it did not even have a dent. He turned and glared at the equally crisp Duncan, who shrugged.

"Oops."


[Omake ten: seventeenth challenge, you wrote a novel]

The members of the Gophers all stared at the small, white dog in front of them.

"You wrote a novel?" Bart questioned.

"Yeah," Brian said, "But it didn't even sell one copy."

"Actually," Bojack said, pulling out one of his dozens of books, "I did buy it. It sucked, but I bought it."

"Well then," Leela asked herself, "who has written the worst book ever?"


(At Playa de Losers)

"Darn it!" Courtney exclaimed, "How could my self-help book not have sold a single copy in five weeks!" She was shouting into a telephone, and all of the other losers sweat dropped.


Losers: Courtney, Zim, Noah, Eva, Sadie, Justin, Billy, Rusty, Trent, Cody, Beth, Wyatt, Katie, Homer, Ron, Frylock, Jonesy, Nikki

AN: Sorry about the chapter, it was really boring to write, and I want to move on. Don't worry, I hope to get another one done soon, and I plan on it being better than this one. I hope these Omakes make up for the little plot that actually happened, and I hope you will read soon.