The wind picks up rather harshly as the ship docked in Harbor City. Senna draped another fur of coat in Korra's shoulders as her body visibly shivered from the cold. Easily, she could've made herself warmer through firebending by regulating her body temperature. Or she could've also handled the climate as she was born and raised here anyway, but Korra's body wouldn't cooperate.

She is weak.

Korra wanted to have a firm grip on the armrest of her wheelchair but of course, she couldn't even do it. She shut her eyes close, tight enough for the pressure to hurt, long enough for her head to throb. She wanted to keep it that way if not for Senna's hand caressing her cheek.

Korra opened her eyes to see another set of blue similar to hers, only lighter like the water in the ocean that meets the shore, looking back with genuine concern. Senna pursed her lips and Korra hated how she knew what she was going to ask. Are you okay? She almost wanted to laugh every time she gets asked that question. Korra tried to suppress the urge to reply a sarcastic remark but she has a feeling it wouldn't be as funny as it is in her head. Only one person understood, though. Somehow the blue hairclip that was somewhat out of place in her wolf-tiled hairdo felt heavier by the minute. Korra doesn't think it is out of place, though, because it was Asami that gave it to her.

"Korra?"

"Hm?"

"I said are you ready to go?" Senna asked, looking at her daughter with the same expression. It might not even change for a long time.

"Oh. Yeah, I guess."

Korra mentally berated herself how she automatically assumed something from the woman who has raised her with all the love and affection she could muster. Of course, her mother would understand and know what to ask and how to word every sentence around her.

After a laborious time putting Korra in the snowmobile and up to her bedroom, they arrived at the palace. Tonraq thought of renovating the platforms, making it easier for her to go up and down the stairs. Otherwise, the chief himself or the white lotus guards will l have to carry her in the meantime. Korra hated it, loathed it, but she didn't have a choice. And so, she shrugged and gave her dad a passive nod before he left for a meeting.

"Honey, Kya told me that Katara would be ready for you today. Or if you want to rest for now, that's fine too," Senna began as she put Korra's clothes in the drawer.

"I think I'll rest for now," Her reply was meek, unobtrusive, her head started to hurt again, "can you please leave for now?" Korra flinched at her choice of words, but Senna didn't seem to mind as she finished unpacking all of Korra's belongings. She looked over her daughter, who was sitting upright in bed and gave a small smile.

"Of course," Senna was in front of the door when Korra called her.

"Mom?"

She looked back, "What is it, honey?"

Korra hesitated for a moment, but she cleared her throat unnecessarily and said, "Thank you," For everything.

Senna looked like she was about to cry right then but she managed to hide it and smiled even wider, "I'm here for you always. Now go get some rest." She closed the door behind her and Korra found herself more miserable than she was in the Air Temple Island.

Stupid, she thought.

Her hand mindlessly wandered in her hair where the blue hairclip was. As if it was an 'on switch' to her memory, Korra's thought went back to the room where she and Asami almost… kissed? It was all blurry in her perspective, but Korra leaned in, and Asami did as well, she thought.

Or maybe, Korra's mind is just playing games with her. All those days, Asami was the one taking care of her and didn't once complain. At her lowest point, Asami offered her company and did not ask for anything in return. She was just there because she's Asami. The most kindhearted person Korra has ever met. She ignored the way her stomach dipped, and all those times before. Maybe it's the poison, she thought again.

"You're so stupid," Korra said it this time, in her room, alone, her voice echoing in the four corners of her room. She drifted off to sleep, trying to erase the memory in her mind.

She can feel her soul slowly slipping away from her body.

Korra doesn't come out of her room most of the time. She just stares blankly ahead, on the wall, the pile of books, Naga, the furniture. Nothing. Emptiness started to fill her mind. The irony, she thought. Like the silence is deafening, the empty pool drowning her.

Senna and Tonraq tried to get to her, spirits they do, but Korra doesn't respond physically or emotionally. They let her be alone in her room. Maybe Korra just needs time, they assume.

Korra spent another day in her room, not planning to go out at all.

In the dead of night, the nightmare intensified as if she was back in that cave. The poison entering her system, in her wrist and ankle. Korra remembered the pain all too well. Zaheer's face was clear as glass that she awoke, breathing heavy, sweat all over her body as she tried to move away from whatever danger Korra feels she's in. But all she saw was a dark room and her belongings.

She took a deep breath and tried to wiggle her way out of bed painfully slow, reaching for the wheelchair, taking all her strength to transfer herself in it. Korra thought of Asami and how she willingly helped her with it even though it took a lot of work and effort. Asami doesn't always seem to mind.

Korra wheeled her chair to the balcony, the light shines bright, the Southern lights, they say. Another reminder of what she has been through the past months. Or years? Different colours illuminate the sky, scattered around in an imperfectly perfect position. It almost radiated life. Korra wished it sprinkled some spark in the darkness of her thoughts. She stared into the night, not realizing Senna walking towards her, crouching to her eye level and there it was again, the same look in her eyes.

"Nightmares again?" She asked.

Korra didn't even have to answer it for her mother to know. She knew. Senna said somewhere along the lines of giving her enough space already. That it's time to go see Katara. One reason she delays seeing her was that it would be too real, too real for her to come to terms that she's not okay and needs the healing.

She wasn't sure if she could respond, but Korra found herself wrapped up in the arms of Senna as streaks of tears run down her cheek.

Korra was hopeless.

"The poison did a lot of internal damage," Katara waved her hands in motion as the water in the healing pool moved with Korra in it.

"Can you fix it?" Korra asked. She looked up to meet Katara's gaze. Fix it. As if she's a toy that needed to be sewn back together.

"I can help guide your healing process, but whether you get better or not is only up to you," Katara said. She stopped bending the water and regarded Korra for a moment. Katara glimpsed bits and pieces of her previous lover, now reincarnated to a strong young water tribe woman. The Avatar. A title so holy she sometimes wonders if it's a good thing or a bad thing. Good for the people, Katara thought. Bad for the Avatar's family, she concluded. Korra only wanted to save the airbenders, something Aang would've been so proud of if he was here.

There would be moments when it hurt to look at Korra because it reminded her so much of Aang. The smile, the antics. Sometimes she even hears Aang's voice when Korra speaks if she listens closely. Korra was a reminder of what she lost, but somehow, she was also a symbol of something that will stay and live on.

And so, she promised to herself and to Aang that Katara will do everything in her power to keep the next Avatar safe. To train her, share her knowledge, and provide for whatever she needs.

Right now, Korra needed healing and guidance.

"I know what it's like to get through a traumatic experience and I promise you, I'd you dedicate yourself to getting better. You'll recover, stronger than ever," Katara added, looking at Korra, trying to get to her.

Korra sighed and gazed down her legs. "That's what I want, more than anything." She responded.

"Then try something for me, concentrate on your big toe. Visualize it moving. Breathe." Katara directed.

Korra took a deep breath and followed what Katara said.

Visualize it moving.

Her face scrunched up in concentration, clearly putting a lot more effort than she used to. Korra projected all her energy on her big toe. Her whole body hurt and Korra thought this will bound to fail. It will disappoint her again.

But at the brink of her giving up, Korra saw her toe twitch. It actually moved!

"Did you see that? It worked!"

"The mind can be a powerful ally or your greatest enemy. Now I want you to try taking a step."

They were once again in Katara's healing hut. This time, Korra is not in the healing pool but between two sidebars to support her gait. They've been trying to do this for half an hour now. It's the first time Korra was able to stand up without someone behind her to catch her if she falls, however, both arms started to shake as she fought to hold on and stand upright for as long as she can.

One step. Just one step.

Korra grunted as she pushed more so dragged one foot forward. Her grip from the sidebars shook violently, but she fought on.

Not until flashbacks clouded Korra's mind once more.

Poison. Cave. Chains. Rocks. Suffocating. Zaheer.

Zaheer.

Korra's body gave in and she fell to the ground. Her hands went to her head, a headache pulsing through her skull. It hurt to think, hurt to move. She closed her eyes with the desire to shut the memories away.

"You're okay. Your body thinks it is still in danger, but you're safe here. Use your mind to overcome the pain." Katara bent down beside Korra, one hand soothing her back.

The headache intensified, trying to stay still on the ground. She wanted the flashbacks to disappear. If not, Korra wanted to disappear.

"I'm done for today."

Three weeks and nothing has ever prepared Korra for the surge of the letters. It's almost endearing, reading all those letters from the ones she loves. She can't help to think though as she got to the fourth letter, from Tenzin this time, that pity was eminent somewhere between those paragraphs.

Your recovery should be your number one concern, he had said back in the docks before they left for the South Pole. Jinora, the airbenders and I have everything under control.

Something about it stung, pushing further down the abyss she has made the night after the fight.

Tenzin was right though. Korra needed to heal before she comes back and accomplish her avatar duties.

Every letter had almost the same intent, different handwritings, but the same concern except from one person.

Asami Sato.

Seeing her name scribbled in the envelope together with her address warmed her heart. The same thing she felt back in Air Temple Island when Asami would help her get dressed, bathed, carrying her from bed to wheelchair, something she still couldn't believe. Korra knew Asami is a skilled fighter but she underestimated the woman's strength.

She opened her letter and there it was; the first line.

I miss you.

Korra's heart skipped a beat and she started to think.

It's not the same in Republic City without you.

Korra wondered why.

She finished reading her letter and she got a pen and a blank paper from the drawer. Korra thought she'd write a response to Asami first, then the others next.

The paper stayed blank at the end of the night.

The first time it happened, Korra was with Katara, doing physical therapy for the sensation in her legs to come back. It suddenly just hits her blindsided, nothing even triggered her. One minute she's doing exercises for her lower extremities. The next thing she knew, she was on the floor, hugging herself, breathing heavy, throat constricting as Korra was yet again flooded by the images of Zaheer and the poison.

Ground yourself, Katara told her though she wasn't sure.

"Korra, listen to my voice,"

It was getting harder, more challenging to keep her thoughts at bay. It was difficult to even fathom that she isn't even safe in her own mind.

"Tell me five things you see, Korra," Katara tried again, holding her like a baby, stroking the back of the Avatar, "Korra, you need to feel my breathing. Be in sync with me."

And she did. It somehow helped with the drowning of herself into nothing, but it was still there. Something was still there.

"Good. Now, tell me five things you see around the room."

Korra tried to scan her eyes in her surroundings, unsettling, her chest hurt but she managed to choke out,

"Water,"

"Good. Count from highest to lowest. What else do you see?"

"Table," Four, she thought. Korra looked around, naming the pieces of furniture that catch her eye in that instant. "bowl, three."

She wasn't certain if she was able to finish naming all five. But the last thing Korra remembered was Katara's eyes and a look of worry before slipping out of consciousness.

The second time it happened, Korra was in her room and luckily, Senna was just passing by to witness what was happening.

"Korra, sweetie." Senna's voice was warm, rasp from exhaustion, but her set of blue eyes gave it away. She was scared for Korra, trying to hold her, not knowing what to do.

Katara. She thought, but somehow Senna understood as she called a white lotus guard to fetch the master healer.

Her throat was once again constricting. Like her body is trying to suffocate her own. Korra tried so hard to catch her breath, long enough for Katara to come into the room and tend to her once more.

"Korra, you're having a panic attack again. Remember what I told you." Katara quietly sat beside her, letting Senna hold her daughter as she waited for further instructions. "Be in sync with Senna's breathing this time. And then tell me five things you see."

She did as she was told, breathing in sync with Senna's inhalations and exhalations, followed by naming the five things around her.

"Bed, five. Lamp, four. Book, three. Chair, two. Pillow, one."

They waited and waited, but it didn't seem to work. Korra still strained, drowning from invisible water. Katara and Senna's look would've submerged her even further, but she gestured one hand in the air, telling them to wait.

Korra tried doing it again. How hard it was to focus and fight off her mind at the same time, calling for Raava if she's even there. She hasn't felt her since after the fight.

She counted again, looking around her surroundings.

Bed. Five.

Lamp. Four.

Book. Three.

This time Korra's eyes focussed on the stack of papers. Letters from her friends. She memorized each letters' position, to whom it's from, appropriately lined on the table.

Letters. Two.

Korra closed her eyes, confusion evident from the older women, but they let her, nonetheless. Amidst the darkness, a familiar face welcomed her, clear as day, bright as the moon. Korra wouldn't mistake the figure as somebody else. Long raven hair as smooth as water, flowing beautifully on her side. Green eyes as fresh as the leaves, perfectly shaded, somewhere around the beach. And the beautiful luscious lips as red as the colour, enticing, alluring.

Asami. One.

Surprisingly, it worked. Senna held out a breath she's been holding, Katara gave her a warm smile, and Korra has calmed down finally.

The many times it happened after, she stopped asking herself why.

"Whenever you're ready." Katara casually took a sip of her tea as she waited for Korra to begin her therapy.

"What's the point. We're almost at this for six months and I can barely take a couple of steps without collapsing." Korra scoffed, defeated, she looked down on her lap.

"I know you're frustrated but—"

"Of course I'm frustrated! A crazy man poisoned me and now I can't dress myself or cook for myself or do anything for myself and this whole time my friends have been off helping the world while I'm stuck with you and you can't even heal me!" Korra shouted, regretting it the instant she stopped talking. "that came out wrong," She took a deep breath, closing her eyes in the process.

Korra is tired. The understatement of this whole process. She promised everyone that she'll only be gone a few weeks. It's been months and she's still stuck in the wheelchair.

Katara went all out and relayed what Aang had gone through. Witnessing his whole nation get wipe out. She always knew what to say at the right moment. That's why Korra had every intent to listen to her sifu.

She mentioned about Aang acknowledging suffering, and there he found peace.

Peace. That word seemed so far out of her vocabulary now. Korra asked if she did recover from this, then what?

"Wouldn't it be interesting to find out?"

They started the therapy, Korra taking a few steps, pushing, urging, anything to move forward.

"Visualize yourself walking to Naga. Take that first step."

And she did.

The letters from the others were less, but they never stopped coming. Asami was the most consistent one. Mako is busy with his detective work as per usual. His letters have been more of narrating the weather and whatever exciting stuff he sees. Korra almost wrote back to him then, but the paper found its way in the trash for the nth time.

Bolin has the most interesting set of letters Korra has ever received. He drew her portraits of him and Pabu, sometimes he tried to portray the scenery of Republic City. He also drew a picture of him, Mako, and Asami one time when they went out for lunch. Her fingers lingered in Asami's drawing for a moment.

It was almost two years. Korra lost count.

Tenzin visits the South Pole to see how she was doing, and she gladly showed him.

They were in the white lotus compound for her training that day. Korra wore her training suit pulling on Tenzin on the side as she walked in the familiar grounds for a sparring match with the three lotus guards.

Korra was ecstatic, being able to move freely again. She felt alive, adrenaline rushing in as she bent fire towards the guards, but she noticed they were holding back.

"C'mon! Fight back! I can handle it." Korra commanded, and on cue, they all did.

She was doing good, dodging, throwing fists after fists, bending fire, then air, casually earth. Until out of nowhere, Zaheer's face appeared, catching her off guard, stumbling to the ground as the three men continued attacking her. Tenzin had to come in between to stop the match, checking to see if Korra was okay.

She thought she was getting better. Slowly, but she was getting there. Korra was wrong.

Korra hated how Tenzin tiptoed around her, giving her updates about the earth kingdom and Kuvira doing most of the work. She hated how she's stuck in the South Pole, not being able to help at all.

As the moon peeked, Korra hopped on Naga, not running away, but she had to be alone. Naga raced toward the ample empty space filled with snow. The wind hurting her face as she arrived in her unofficially official favourite spot.

Korra walked towards the edge of the precipice, knees buckling in the process, and then she was on the ground. Crying, shouting, pleading.

"Damn it! Damn it! Aang, please." I need you. "Someone out there damn it." She wept on the spot, shoulders shaking as heavy sobs filled the night.

"Why am I not getting better, spirits,"

She remembered a few years ago in the exact same spot when she thought about it. Maybe the avatar cycle will live on, she thought. Then Aang came, and it changed her perspective.

It wasn't the same now, though. Because she no previous avatars to talk to now. Korra cried the night away until Naga had to nudge her, reminding her that it's time to go home.

"You might want to give room for some other letters on that table," Senna came in one night in Korra's room when she was about to go to bed. She wouldn't be able to sleep anyway.

Korra followed her mother's gaze, looking over the table with the mountains of papers, piling up to reach the ceiling.

"I'll try to clean it up in the morning,"

"That's not what I meant." Senna sat on the edge of the bed, settling her eyes on Korra.

Korra sighed and sat up straight, "I haven't responded to any of them."

"Is there a reason why?"

"I don't know what to say,"

Senna regarded her for a moment, her hand reaching for Korra's.

"Asami wrote to me. Now I would be glad that she did, but I feel like she wants to know more about you in her letter," A teasing smile erupted from her lips as she witnessed Korra get flustered by what she just said.

"Asami?" Korra asked as if it were a dream. It was harder every day to fight back the urge to write to her. The trash bin in her room can vouch for it. This time she thoroughly looked at her mother. Grey streaks of hair were evident in the faint light. There were bags under her eyes and Korra felt like she aged a lot. Somehow, unwanted guilt crept up her spine again, blaming herself for whatever caused this.

"You should write to her," Senna broke her train of thoughts. Her voice was calm, her touch was soft. "Even if you don't know what to say, just try. It's Asami." She added matter-of-factly as if she knows her as well. It's Asami, she'll always understand.

Senna kissed Korra goodnight, but Korra went and hug her tightly, "I love you mom," she whispered.

"I love you too, honey,"

As the door closed, Korra sat in front of the table. She reached for the pen and a blank paper. This time, it didn't stay empty of words. She managed to write Dear Asami without ever crumpling it and throwing it out.

I'm sorry I haven't written to you sooner, but every time I've tried, I never knew what to say.

Korra wrote as if the words flow out her fingers through the pen. Up until she reached the sign-off, she stopped briefly. What does she write? With love? Your friend?

She shook her head and ended up just writing her name. Korra wasn't sure of her feelings for Asami right now, but somehow, for the first time in two years, she was hopeful.