Chris: Last Time on Total Drama Island. The campers went on a cross country rafting trip with their loved ones. We saw some pretty freaky things on those islands, including a satanic bunch of Woodland Critters. Eventually, D.J. was able to convince his mother to allow him to be in a relationship with Bridgette, Stan managed to regain Wendy's heart with his selfless actions, and Plank came through in the end to help his pal and the other lost campers win reward.

Oh yeah (We see a close up of him, strapped to a wall) I got sentenced to two days of torture. (Paddle slaps his back, causing him to scream)

Any way, who will follow Mandy as the second voted off camper after the merge?

How will I get back at Andrew for using me as a scapegoat for that missile?

And will Kenny ever actually live through an episode?

Find out now (Slapped by paddle again, causing him to scream, and then speak in a very weak worn out voice) on total drama island. Uh.


(Cue theme song)


"So how was that cruise guys?" Geoff asked a newly arrived D.J. and Bridgette over breakfast. They both looked happily at each other and blushed.

"It was great," D.J. admitted. Geoff snickered under his breath, until he heard the door crash open.

"Hello Campers!" Chris shouted. He was oblivious to the snickers, as many of the campers could see the bruises caused by the time he had spent in jail.

"I hope that you enjoyed your two days off," he continued, "Because now we are having our next challenge," he honked a small circus horn, "a cross country road trip!"

The entire camp looked shocked at the host, as they tried to come up with a response to this new information. It was probably Geoff who gave the best response.

"Awesome!"


Chris had lead the campers to the campfire pit. He pulled out a small list, and smiled at the campers.

"You will be divided up into six teams," he smiled sadistically, as the groups he made while he was in prison were sure to stir up some drama, "I will call out your name and group, and then you will go stand over on the number of the group you have been assigned."

"For our first group, we have Peter," Peter shouted happily, "Leshawna," she smiled silently as she stood up, "Stewie," Stewie shouted in anger at having to be with the fat man, "Brian," he too was angry that he had to work with Peter, "and Duncan," all four groaned about having the punk in their group.

"I can't believe I'm stuck with big, loud and proud, a fat idiot, a liberal dog, and a matricidal baby," Duncan seethed, as he stepped onto the group one platform.

"Group number two," Chris continued, ignoring the complaints of group one, "is Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny!"

"Aw come on!" Heather shouted angrily, "how can they be in a group? None of them even have a license."

"Actually," Stan chuckled as he pulled out a plastic card, "I kind of do."


Stan: One of the great things about the DMV is that they really don't care who gets a license as long as they get paid.

Heather: Stupid Government employees.


"Team three is made up of Heather, Lindsey, Caitlin, Leela, and Izzy!" The three remaining members of Heather's alliance and the cyclops all grimaced as they looked at their final member, who was currently trying to touch her tongue to her elbow, an impossible task.

"Team four, or as I call them, team lame, is Harold, Ezekiel, Dib, Morty, and Jack!"


Dib: How am I lame, I caught a real live alien! that has to be cool!

Geoff: How in God's name did Jack get the title of lame?

Chris: He ruined my bets. I bet on Jack to be out before the merge, and I don't like to lose bets. But, guess I should have known when Chuck Norris bet on him.

Chuck: (Chuckling while counting wad of cash)


"Now on for team five," Chris continued, "This team has Jude and Jen," The two pals just high fived each other, "Grim," the lord of Death smiled silently, "Bart," the prankster pumped his fist in the air, "Shake," The sentient cup was eating a piece of pie that he somehow had, "Early," The redneck octopus was chugging a bottle of bourbon, "and of course our big bag of fun, Owen!" The six previously called members cringed when they were suddenly swooped up into bear hug.

"This is AWESOME! WOO HOO!" The burly teen shouted, crushing his teammates, until they were all conked out.


Owen: There have been better first meetings with a team.

Grim: (Throat slashing movement)


"Next we have team six, with Double D, who has managed to get his license, Eddy, Ed, Meatwad, Bojack, Fry, and Bender."

The seven all looked at each other, and while Double D, Eddy, and Ed were happy to be together, the other members of the team all had frowns.


Bojack: Great, I got a human dictionary, who lacks any sort of athletic ability, a greedy midget, a drunk robot, a pile of hamburger meat, and a human cesspool. Nothing against these guys, but I would rather be with one of my friends. But, they're still better than Heather or Rick. That guy is a real freak.


"And the final team will be Gwen, Geoff, Rick, Courage, Bridgette, and D.J.," the six smiled as they realized they were in a group together.

"Now that all of the groups have been assigned, get over to the helicopter, were going to take you guys back to the lots, where Andrew has your vehicles," Chris said, as the campers all walked over to the helicopter, wondering exactly what kind of road trip this was going to be.


"Hello guys," Andrew said, smiling as the campers disembarked onto the lot, all of them feeling slightly woozy after the long trip, "What's wrong with you? Did Chris fly you over here?" Andrew glared at Chris, who tried his best to hide behind Chef.

"Any way, I'm sure that you want to know where you are going on this trip, but first let's get to the cool parts, the cars!" Suddenly seven SUV's drove up to the groups. Only Bridgette did not seem excited by the car selections. "These babies have a five hundred horse power engine, diamond studded wheels, and best of all, cup holders!"

"Awesome!" Geoff said, suddenly running up and hugging the nearest vehicle, "I so owe you one for this Andrew."

"Chris wanted me to give you all pink beetles, however I mercifully decided against it," the campers glared at Chris, "Any who, lets get to the challenge. This challenge is first a race out of Toronto, across the Canadian border, into Upstate New York, where you will proceed to go farther south. Once there, you will go to Heinz field in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, where you will receive your next clue in this great race across the United States."

"Now get in your cars before I decide to change back to beetles," Andrew finished, which caused all of the campers to jump into their cars quickly.


(Team One)

"I'm driving," Duncan said, causing Leshawna to glare at him.

"You lost your license when you went to juvie," she said angrily, "No way am I getting arrested by the police in a foreign country because of your reckless driving."

"So I guess that means I'm driving," Peter said, causing both Stewie and Brian to cringe.

"Yeah, that's a great idea," Brian then turned to Leshawna, "don't let him, last time he did a big cross country trip, he ended up getting us all lost in Oklahoma. It was worse than that time that he and Quagmire got into a fight without realizing it."


(Cutaway)

"Off we go," Peter said as he drove the family out of the neighborhood, "We are going to have such a great time." Suddenly he heard his phone buzz, and picked it up.

"Hello."

"Hey, Peter, what's up?" the voice of Quagmire was at the other end said. Peter smiled.

"Hey Quagmire, my family and I are just going on vacation."

"That's cool," the voice was then silent for a second, "hang on a second, there is some fat ass in front of me who's driving to slow. Move it you jerk!"

Suddenly, several honks were audible for all those in the car. Peter frowned.

"Sorry Quagmire, some stupid asshole behind me is honking his horn."

"Oh you should totally flip him off."

Peter did so, only to hear a gasp from Quagmire.

"This fat ass in front of me just flipped me off! Oh up yours you jerk!"

The car began to inch closer to Peter's car, beginning to honk more rapidly.

"Hang on Quagmire; I got to kick this guy's ass."

"Yeah, I got to kick this guy's ass."

"I'll call you after the fight."

"Thanks."

"Good luck in your fight."

"Good luck in yours."

Suddenly both cars stopped, and in complete anger fueled blindness, Peter and Quagmire pounced on one another, causing Lois to slap her head in frustration.

(End Cutaway)


Leshawna: If that was just the way that Peter normally acts, than the poor tike and dog are going to need therapy.

Stewie: Too late, already need it. I needed it after that time I read that auto-biography of O.J. Simpson. I mean, he even turns his confession into a book, and no one tries to convict him. God sometimes political correctness is a disease on our nation. Like Rosie O' Donnell.

Peter: I haven't felt this excited about driving since the 1970's.


(Cutaway)

Peter is driving a group of teens in his van.

"So," he asked them, "Why do you want leave Washington again, Mr. Bundy?"

"Oh no reason," Ted Bundy said, as he twirled a knife in his hand.

"Well then, I guess you just want to get away from your life in your home town."

"You could say that."


(Group three)

"Oh, I'm a great driver, let me at the wheel," Caitlin said excitedly. Heather sneered.

"Yeah right," she said, "I'm the most mature one here, so I drive."

"Aw," Izzy, for some reason dressed in a bus driver out fit, slammed her hat to the ground, "I wanted to drive."

"Izzy," Lindsey asked, "why are you dressed like a bus driver?"

"No reason."

"That's what I thought."


(Group four)

"This is going to be awesome," Harold said as he pumped his fist, as Ezekiel buckled himself nest to Harold in the shot gun seat, "An all Bass team. And we have our ace Jack; we have this thing in the bag."

"Bleach!"

Harold turned to see Ezekiel vomiting out of the window. Dib and Morty looked strangely from the back seat.

"Why'd you throw up, we haven't even started driving?"

"Because I just realized where ever Jack is," Ezekiel said with a sickly look, "Izzy is sure to follow."

"Aw come on," Harold moaned, "You get a hot girl to really like you, what's the problem?"

"I thought it was okay until she started to spend every night under my bed."


(Cutaway)

Ezekiel was calmly sleeping in his bed, snoring softly. Slowly, Izzy's head edged out from below his bed.

"Psst," Ezekiel woke up with a start when Izzy whispered to him, "You asleep yet."

"Um," Ezekiel, pulling the covers closer to his head whimpered, "no."

"Just checking," Izzy slowly retracted her head back under the bed. This creepy motion caused Zeke to shake with fear.

(End Cutaway)


"I haven't been able to sleep since," Ezekiel said sadly, while the others just stared at him strangely.


Harold: Now I understand why Ezekiel was upset. If Izzy is really that creepy to him, he has to be worried. Next to Ezekiel, the person that Izzy spends the most time hunting on the island is Jack. I can only hope that we can win this challenge fast, or who knows what could happen to us.


(Group five)

"This is going to be so awesome! Woo Hoo!" Owen shouted, as he sat in the back seat. He began to laugh, until, a small fart escaped him. "Oops." He farted again.

His teammates, who were for the benefit of their own health, on the outside of the car, looked at each other.

"Do either of you have a driver's license?" Jude asked his teammates.

"Jude," Jen said exasperatedly, "you know I couldn't pass that test for the life of me."

"What about you, Reaper dude?'

"Sorry Mon," the skeleton explained, "Mine expired with FDR."

Jude and Jen glanced at one another.

"Dude, isn't that joke in bad taste?" Jude asked the king of the undead.

"I'm the Grim Reaper for Pete's sake, I don't really care!"

"Well," Jude said, staring at the car, "looks like I'm driving. Now all that's left is for us to pick who sits in the front," he then in dramatic fashion, raised up his arms like he was holding a cloak over his face, "and who sits next to Owen!"

"Shotgun," Jen said fearfully, causing Grim, Shake, and Early to stare in horror at the back seat, where they were doomed to sit next to Farticus Maximus himself.

"No please! Anything but that!"

"Sorry dudes, she did call shot gun," Jude said as both he and Jen sat in the front seats safely, as Grim and the others walked like they was going to an execution. And not the ones Grim was just watching and laughing at.


Jude: I didn't want to force any one to have to sit with he who farts a lot, but Jen did call shotgun, so sorry you guys. Hope you realize it was nothing personal.

Grim: (Holding a piece of paper) Hum, I wonder if there's any rule against killing people for using the shotgun rule to make you sit in the back seat (Angrily slams paper to the ground) Darn It!

Owen: Seriously, I'm not that bad am I? (Farts)

Andrew: (Wearing a gas mask) Yes, Yes you are.


(Team six)

"So apparently were stuck in the same car for the next few days together," Bojack said, as Double D slowly started to rev up the car, but was having some trouble. As the gas continued to fail to start, the entire group began to become agitated.

"Here let me try wuss," Bender grumbled as he reached over from shotgun, turning the key. But even he put his full strength into it; the gas would not start up. Even the loveable Ed was now glaring at the key.

Snap

The entire car grew wide eyed, as they saw the key snap in half. They all turned their heads to Bender, who looked sheepish.

"Great," Bojack said, "Now how the hell are we supposed to get to Pittsburgh?"

"Oh I know!" Ed shouted, slamming his feat through the floor.

"NO ED!" his teammates screamed, as they suddenly felt the car be lifted above the ground. Ed started to laugh, as he carried the car from the parking lot.

"So," Bojack turned to Double D, who was pinching the bridge of his nose, "This happen often?"

"You have no idea."


Edd: Look, Ed is my friend. But, even I can see some of the problems about him. Like his smell, his disheveled way of wearing his clothes, his tendencies to slam around a room with no care for what damage he causes. (Pulls out a list) This might take a while.


(Group seven)

"Well this will be so awesome," Geoff said, as his team walked to their car. Gwen nervously stared at the ground as she walked up behind the other members of her group.


Gwen: Look, I know I and Geoff have this weird vibe going on, and that's great. Unfortunately, I don't really know any of the others. It's going to be a little hard to adjust to a group made completely of the Bass team.

"So who's going to drive?" D.J. asked as they looked inside the car.

"Well we all have a license," Geoff began, "Why don't I go first, then Gwen, D.J., Rick, Bridgette, and Courage on rotation."

"That makes sense," Bridgette said as she got in the back seat.

"This way, no one will get sleepy when they drive," Geoff smiled as he opened the door to the driver's seat, "plus we can drive through the night, which will make this trip go much faster."

The six all got in the car, and began to back out of the parking lot, when Geoff began to turn on the radio. As he suddenly turned it onto a Rock music channel, Gwen covered her ears.

"We're not listening to that," she said as she turned to a metal station. Bridgette shouted in agony, before reaching up from the back seat.

"We are not going to listen to this either!" She turned the station to new age music.

"WE ARE NOT LISTENING TO THIS!" her teammates screamed, before Courage then smashed the radio with a mallet.

They all looked at one another.

"So…" Geoff began, "Any one up for eye spy?"

"Fine," Gwen groaned.

"I spy with my little eye something that is gray."

"The road?"

"Right!"

Gwen slammed her head into her lap.

"This is going to be a long road trip."

"Amen to that, sister," Rick said as he took out his flask.


(In a room full of computers)

"Hello," Andrew says, as he rolls in on a rolling desk chair. He then turned to a young boy working the computer.

"Is everything working out okay Jimmy?" Andrew asked the partially disabled boy.

"I don't understand-nd why I have to-o do this pr-pro bono," Jimmy stuttered.

"I am allowing you to stay at the resort pro bono, aren't I?"

"Yeah, after your mi-missile blew up my home town."

"Blame Chris for that, now get back to working kid," Andrew then turned back to the camera, "Here is home base, where we will be giving you the highlights of the trip, because if we showed you everything, the author would have to abandon this fic for being to long and annoying."

"You jack-ass! You just br-broke the fourth wall!"

"As I was saying," Andrew continued, "Prepare for the next episode to have lots of traveling, gags, and people getting their asses whopped. Sayonara until then."


Double D: (still reading from paper) his lucky smelly cheeses, his horror movie obsession (Flips paper) His sponge collection, the fact that his tub is full of gravy, the fact that he is bipolar, his refusal to even touch soap...


Losers: Courtney, Zim, Noah, Eva, Sadie, Justin, Billy, Rusty, Trent, Cody, Beth, Wyatt, Katie, Homer, Ron, Frylock, Jonesy, Nikki, Tyler, Kim, Mandy

AN: Finally done with this chapter. And let me tell you, this was no small feat. I had to arrange all the teams, figure out who is going to win, and then try to figure out how.

So yeah, I am starting to do a lot more chapters based on two or three per challenge. If I didn't do this, these long challenges would take weeks to come off the press. Unfortunately, this means that it takes longer to find out who has been voted off. With that said, I'll see you next time.