Chris: Last Time on Total Drama Island. The campers were sent a cross country road trip, all in brand new gas guzzling SUV's. Some of the groups worked well, others didn't. After some damage to a few of the vehicles, all the groups were on the road. Be prepared to get a look at the U S of A with us.

Will Ed stop annoying his teammates?

Will Izzy attack Jack and his group again?

And, for the umpteenth time, will Kenny ever live through a challenge?

Find out right here, on Total Drama Island!


(Cue theme song)


(Team Three)

"What do you mean we're lost!" Heather screamed. Yep, it was pretty much like that for our good friends in team three. They had chosen Caitlin to drive, and she had been less than useful on directions.

"Oh," Izzy said excitedly, "I can drive us out of this mess, just let me at that wheel, and-"

"No way psycho-horse beast," Heather said angrily. She accidently pushed Caitlin, causing the car to skid. The girls all screamed.


Izzy: And she calls me a psycho?


(Group two)

"Well! Kyle's mom's a bitch! She's a big fat bitch, she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world. She's a stupid bitch, If there ever was a bitch, She's a bitch to all the boys and girls," Cartman sang, as the other members of team South Park covered their ears at the fat boy's song.

"How dare you fucking sing that?!" Kyle shouted angrily, "My mom just died, and yet you treat her like that?"

"Well," Cartman chuckled, "I really don't care. As far as I am concerned, I'm completely incapable of being punished now. Unlike old age-liar over here," Cartman motioned next to him, and Stan tried his hardest to keep his eyes on the road, "yep, lying on a government document, crossing the border without a passport…"

"You forgot about the part of me making you smash your head into the windshield," Stan smirked as Cartman looked at him strangely.

"Well, I don't remember that-AH!" Stan violently stopped the car, flinging the fat boy into the windshield. The other's smiled; Cartman really should know to always wear a seatbelt.

"Yes," Cartman said calmly as he got back onto the seat, "I do suppose I walked right into that one."


Kenny: (muffled so you need subtitles) I for a fact know what happens if you don't wear a seatbelt. Let me tell you, not pretty. (Suddenly his eyes widen) Is this the first time I have ever been in here? Man, dying a lot sure takes up a lot of time.

(As if to prove a point, the door slams open, a bear pokes its head through and smiles at Kenny, before quietly raising its paw.)

Kenny: Aw shi-


(Team five)

Grim was not enjoying his trip.

No, that does not even describe the horror he was enduring as he rode in the back seat of the truck. Unfortunately, Owen had been forced to snack on beans for most of the trip to the film lot. That of course meant that he was farting up a storm in the back seat.

And of course, his teammates in the front seat were no better. All they did was talk. Jude's constant "Dudes" were driving him up a wall. He needed to get some fresh air soon, or else the Grim Reaper would have to meet death. And it had not worked out so well the last time they had met.


(Cutaway)

"Hey Grim," a demon with a blue beret said, pulling his friend to the side, "Is this guy a relative of yours?"

Grim was shocked to see another skeleton standing there, holding a drink.

"Hey," Grim cursed, "What are you doing, dressing up like me?"

"Well," Death began, "since you are now nothing more than the play thing of a couple of kids, they outsourced, and gave me half of your job in order to keep the rate of the doomed from overwhelming the system. Seriously, do you know how hard it is to make sure all the dead are all judge for their eternal resting place. We get so many runners now; we can barely keep up with just me and you. They have even begun to talk to the shinigami about using some of them for help."

"No," Grim said horrified, "The fact is that Japanese swordsman stabbing people is one of the worst ways to take care of the dead. Do you know how many problems would be made, poor innocent souls running from weird Asians speaking gibberish? It would be awful!" AHH!"

(end cutaway)


So, basically, his life sucked at the current moment. But it would be all worth it when he won his freedom and the hundred thousand dollars.

But that did not mean he was not pissed off when Owen let out another one of his farts.


(Team Four)

It was pure luck that team four had been the first to cross the border.

I say pure bad luck that is.

"How the heck did we drive onto the St' Lawrence river?" Dib asked his compatriots as the paddled across said river.

"Just be glad we finally we got to the US," Morty said, as the finally got back onto the shore. He then realized something.

That the author enjoys torturing the characters.

"High ho silver, away!" Izzy shouted, as she led second place team three. She was wearing western gear, and possessed a shot gun. "I'm on this challenge to take what is mine, and slaughter a certain samurai."

Both Jack and Ezekiel's eyes widened, as Harold started to light the ignition. As the car began to start up, they noticed that team three was only a few hundred yards behind them. The car finally began to gain speed, as they were soon being followed very closely.

"Why must all of our challenges end up like this?" Jack asked solemnly, as buckshot passed over his head.


(Team Seven)

"Wow," Gwen said with astonishment, "I can't believe that we actually made it out of Canada so easily."

The man guarding the border seemed to be ready for a long interrogation period when they had first arrived. Apparently some crazy red head had crossed without paying and killed several members of the RCMP with a shotgun when they had tried to stop her. So, they had beefed up all other border crossings. But, for some reason the man's skin paled when he looked inside the back seat, and he had just let them through.

Of course, none of Courage's teammates noticed him put away a green and purple monster mask. Courage turned to the camera and laughed.

"Well," D.J. asked, looking around, "What are we going to do for an hour?"

"We could-"Geoff suggested, before Gwen screamed.

"No more car games!" She shouted angrily into his ear. He began to slap the side of his head, trying to regain his hearing.

"So what should we do?" Bridgette asked. They all looked at one another for a second, before they could come up with an idea, they suddenly saw teams three and four fighting it our along the road. As the heard the cries of agony and cackles of madness from Izzy, the members of team seven looked at one another confusedly.

"Now we know why security was so beefed up, huh guys," Geoff said. The others could not help but nod.


(Back at Control room)

"Welcome back into the control room," Andrew said happily, as Timmy worked behind him, "Do not worry, this is not another chapter cut off-"

"TIMMAH!"

"Okay, I'm sorry I broke the fourth wall again," Andrew said to the wheelchair bound kid behind him, "any who, we regret to inform you that we are already two teams down in the race. Teams Three and Four were eliminated after their vehicles suffered irreparable damage. So, now officially we have Team Seven in first place…"

A map with the United States in the back ground suddenly showed a Cowboy hat crossing the New York and Pennsylvania border,

"…Team Five in second…"

A skull appeared about halfway between the border and The Canadian border.

"…Team six in third…"

A foot appeared just behind the skull.

"…Team Two in fourth…"

A small poofball hat appeared about halfway between the foot and the starting position.

"…And finally Team One in Fifth."

A Baby bottle appeared just crossing the border into the US.

"So, we will now kindly return you to… OH my God what is that!" Andrew screamed, before suddenly the sloppy Joe monster jumped out and slammed into him. HE suddenly threw it to the wall, and pulled out a revolver. He shot the creature several times, causing it to scream.

"Alright, it's dead," he said to the camera, "We're not going to be seeing it again."


(Team Seven)

"I can't believe we got here this quickly," Gwen said happily. They had not even been on the road for a day yet, and they were already in the city of steel. As the continued to come closer to the stadium, they noticed something. A strange low rumble was emanating from somewhere in the car. As they searched the car for the sound's location, they were surprised to see little Courage holding his stomach. Courage noticed their stares, and then started laughing.

"Its ok little buddy," Geoff said, "Once we get to the stadium; will go buy you some food."

"Yuck!" Bridgette said form the back seat, "Stadium food? That stuff is disgusting!"

"It's better than the shit I have to *burp* eat whenever I have to go off planet," Rick said.

"Hey, how about we stop here," D.J. said, as he pointed to a small restaurant. The place was known as "Le Quack's." Courage began to ponder where he had heard the name before, only to gasp when he saw his greatest enemy, the evil French duck!

"Le Quack, is back!" the duck laughed, before Courage suddenly grabbed the wheel and spun away from the joint, rushing into on coming traffic, causing the van to move back and forth, before Geoff finally righted the vehicle into the right lane.

"Okay, sheesh," Geoff said, "I know French Food isn't that good, but you don't have to spazz out like that little dog dude!"

Courage just sighed.


(Team Five)

"At least we are making good time," Jude said, as he began to see the sun set, "But, since I am the only one here who can actually drive, maybe we should plan on stopping some place and, I don't know, sleeping."

"No can do," Jen said, "we have to keep moving, or else we will lose to teams who can split up the drivers times."

"But I've been driving for seven hours straight!"

"We all have to make sacrifices, I mean, look at Grim and Bart."

In the back seat, Owen had fallen asleep. This unfortunately caused him to lay on top of Grim and Bart. The shuttering under the large boy's girth, almost begging for his own life to be taken. Sometimes, it really does suck to be death.

"He's crushing ma kidneys mon!" Grim moaned, as Jude nodded. He understood that his situation could be far worse.


Jude: So we stopped at a coffee shop and I loaded up on caffeine. This would unfortunately cause some unforeseen side effects.


(Team Six)

Ed's laughter could be heard as he ran down the street, the base of the car carrying his companions bouncing around as he bounded down the interstate. While seeing a car in itself running down a highway would be weird enough, the really weird part was that it was actually passing cars.

"So," Double D said, as he passed out the meals they had just grabbed at McDonald's, "What do you all do for fun back home?"

"I pretty much just get drunk all the time," Bojack said.

"Basically the same for me," Bender added, while taking another swig of his beer.

"So, I don't suppose either of you have any idea what we could do to pass the time then," Double D sighed, before he suddenly heard his best friend speak.

"Oh, I know, let's sing a SONG!" Ed shouted, before he began to sing far out of key. The others to hold their ears in agony.

Of course, this caused them to take their eyes off the road, which meant that they did not see the turn appearing in front of them. This of course caused the, to run strait over the side, on hurtling off the highway. The began to crash into ledges as the fell off what was now apparent as being a very tall mountain.

They first hit a thorn-bush.

"It hurts my feet guys!" Ed moaned in pain.

Then a big horn ram.

"I do hope the poor thing is okay," Double D said.

"Maybe you should worry more about us than some damn stupid sheep!" Bender screamed.

Then they hit a fire hydrant.

"Who the hell puts a fire hydrant on a cliff edge?" Bojack asked, bruises covering his face.

Then a rare South American Condor's nest.

"Those things don't even live in the US!" Double D shouted.

Then a cactus.

"This is just getting ridiculous!" Fry seethed.

Then Fred Fredburger.

"Yes," the green monster said.

"He's not even in this freakin' story!" Bender yelled.

Then they finally landed at the bottom of the ravine, and looked around.

"Well at least that's over," Double D said. Eddy, Fry, Bender, and Bojack nodded. Suddenly, out of the rubble came Ed. He was holding two very large eggs in his hands.

"Eggs, eggs, eggs," the mono-brow said. The other five stared at him from their own positions of the wrecked car.

"You got that from the condor didn't you?" Double D asked, while Ed furiously shook his head.

"It wasn't my fault Double D!" Ed shouted, as they suddenly heard a cry from a bird of prey.

"Ed, you idiot!" Eddy shouted.

Double D slapped his forehead. Today was not a good day.


(Control Room)

Andrew is silently reading a paper.

"Well folks, it looks like team six is out of the race," he said to the camera, "but don't worry, we will help save them from that condor." He suddenly turned his head towards a Latino man, who was standing in corner.

"Ramirez! Take out that Condor!" he shouted.

"Why do I always have to do everything around here?" the man sulked, before dejectedly walking to the door with a hunting rifle.


(Team Five)

Jude was having a tough time keeping himself awake. He had already had several cups of coffee, and was fidgeting around his seat like no other. Even though they had already got the first clue, and where now on their way to Washington DC, Jude didn't think he could last much longer. He suddenly saw a vampire in front of them

"AAH!" he screamed, waking everyone up.

"What's wrong?" Jen asked.

"Vampire," he pointed out in fear, only for the others to stare at him in anger.

"Don't wake us up for that kind of crud mon," Grim seethed angrily, before he and the others laid their heads down again. Unfortunately for Grim, Owen farted, causing him to wake up gagging before falling to the floor of the car unconscious.

"He's right," Jude admitted, "I'm just tired, once the others get up in the morning, maybe we can stop for breakfast and get some z's."

Jude looked up and kept on driving. After several minutes, his eyes began to wean again, only for him to notice a giant ship in front of them.

"Okay, this is even more ridiculous," Jude said, "There is no way a ship could be in the road."

Five seconds later he had collided the ship.


Jude: Well how was I supposed that there really was a ship on the road!


(Back at Control Room)

"I'm back," Ramirez moaned, lying down on the coach with bruises covering his body, "never mess with an angry condor."

"Good thing your back," Andrew said, "Team Five is out too. Somehow than ran into Stickybeard's pirates and now the pirates are holding them for a ransom of over three hundred pounds of candy. Now Ramirez, go save those hostages!"

"Why do I have to do everything?" Ramirez asked in complete despair.


(Team Two)

"Man this sucks," Cartman moaned. They had just left the hotel they had been resting in, and were already behind the better balanced teams One and Seven. "If only our dumbass driver didn't need to sleep, we wouldn't need to be in last place."

"Hey shut the fuck up Cartman!" Stan shouted, "at least I'm actually doing something to try to help us."

"Well," Kyle began, "seeing as how the past two sections have been just two groups each getting knocked out of the race, with Andrew sending some poor sap out to help them, I guess we can just expect the same for us! Though Kenny is probably going to die in the process." Kenny just glared at Kyle while the others shook their heads.

"Oh Kyle," Cartman said, "I think you just broke the fourth wall, and that can only mean bad things."

"Like what?"

Suddenly, another car swerved into the boys' lane, and caused the boys to fly off the road. They rumbled about the cabin, as suddenly, they hit a tree just off the road. The all got out of the car, looked around, and frowned.

"I can't believe this," Kyle shouted, "Ee get forced off the road, and now were out of the race too! What else could go wrong!"

They then heard wolves howl, as suddenly a large pack of the beasts ran up, grabbed Kenny, and ran off over the top of the hill again.

"Now Kyle," Cartman said definitively, "that is why Jews should not break the fourth wall."


Kyle: Goddammit I fucking hate Cartman!


(Control Room)

Ramirez walked back into the room, covering in scrapes and bruises, only for him to see Andrew.

"Let me guess, you want me to go out and save another group?"

"Actually, I was about to ask if you wanted Chef to handle this one," Andrew said happily, "but since you volunteered, Team Two is stuck in the woods, go fetch them."

"But-but-GOD DAMN IT!"


(Team One)

"It's happening!" Stewie screamed in horror.

"What's happening?" Leshawna asked.

"The cut off," Stewie explained, "It's down to us and team seven, and lets face it, the way this story is going, we are probably going to lose knowing how Andrew operates."

"Aw, you have too low an opinion of Andrew."

Bang!

"Yeah, and that flat tire is really agreeing with you right now."

"Well looks like were out of the race," Peter said, as they got out of the car, "at least we can explore this quaint little town."

The group looked up to the sign, and Stewie smiled.

"Ah, Gettysburg," he said fondly, "such a wonderful place. So many lives lost just to prove to all that no man should live in bondage to another." He then turned to Leshawna, "your welcome."

"Excuse me?"

"Ya know, I'm just saying, we gave a lot for you folks here, so, I don't know…just enjoy what we gave up here."

-.-' "I don't know, considering the previous several centuries, maybe were about even."

"Yeah, yeah…No We gave more."


(Team Seven)

The group happily drove up to the Jefferson Monument, where Andrew was smiling.

"Sorry guys, but everybody else has been eliminated, so your trip ends here," he told them, "So now, not only do you all get immunity, but you get to spend the next two days in Washington, relaxing and shopping. Oh yeah, run up the bill, it comes from Chris's salary."


(Wawanakwa)

"How is it that the only time I appear in this chapter is when my pay is being cut!" Chris angrily asked a nearby TV camera."


(Washington)

"Now enjoy your time here," Andrew said happily, "I'm just going to have to handle giving out the marshmallows."

He left in a helicopter as they celebrated, happy about being safe in a city again.


"Who wants marshmallows?" Chris asked, as he walked back out on the plaza, "a delicious treat, and one that keeps you on this island."

"We already know the rules, why do we keep having them announced to us?" Duncan asked.

"Because it helps any new viewer who hasn't seen an episode before."

"Now lets start with…Jude."

Jude pumped his fist as he ran up to grab a marshmallow.

"Jen, Heather, Leela, Kyle, Kenny, and Stan!"

The four still living members all ran up and grabbed their marshmallow. Owen then ran up and as per usual, ate what was supposed to be Kenny's marshmallow.

"Bender, Leshawna, Peter, Brian, Stewie, Duncan."

All five grabbed their marshmallows.

"Cartman, Jack, Dib, Morty, and Harold."

They too grabbed their marshmallows.

"Bojack, Double D, Eddy, Fry, Ezekiel, Bart, Early, and Grim are the final members of the camp to have not received any votes."

They all got their marshmallows, and all eyes focused on the four who had votes. Of course, with Courage, Geoff, Gwen, Rick, D.J. and Bridgette were all in Washington and immune. This left Owen, Caitlin, Izzy, and Ed with votes.

"I will now reveal those who are left by starting with those who had the least votes."

"First one safe is…

…Owen"

"Darn it!" Grim shouted angrily, as Owen grabbed his marshmallow greedily.

"Second to last member left, is…

…Ed"

"I don't believe it," Bender seethed, as Ed grabbed his marshmallow. Double D glared at him angrily.


Double D: I cannot believe Bender, he just is angry because he got hurt by Ed. I get hurt everyday, and you do not see me complaining.


"And now, the final marshmallow is about to be given out…

…Izzy."

"What," Caitlin asked, "how could I lose."

"Sorry girl," Chris said, "You're out."

Caitlin sadly walked to the dock, boarded the boat, and took off to Playa da Losers.


(Earlier that Day)

Izzy: (pulls out a screwdriver) if Cartman can do it, than so can I. (takes several Izzy votes and switches in Caitlin votes, before bursting out laughing)


"Thus another episode of Total Drama Island ends," Chris said, "What will happen next time. What awful challenges will we make up, and what relationships will be formed. Find out next time on Total Drama Island!"


Losers: Courtney, Zim, Noah, Eva, Sadie, Justin, Billy, Rusty, Trent, Cody, Beth, Wyatt, Katie, Homer, Ron, Frylock, Jonesy, Nikki, Tyler, Kim, Mandy, Caitlin

AN: In case you didn't know, The Death shown in the cutaway is the one from Family Guy. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you and good night.