Things buzzed in his head, words sometimes, mostly just noise. Sometimes, he was alone and his head would be silent, other times, there'd be a red undercurrent. Sometimes, there was a beep that wouldn't go away. Then, there were voices. Voices that sounded so far away, voices in his head. He wanted them to leave him alone, let him rest. But, they wouldn't go away. They wouldn't leave him alone.
Hiei listened to the room around him, his eyes unready to open. It didn't sound like his room. There was something missing. Gradually, he became aware of his body, slowly from his head down. The pillow was wrong. It wasn't his. He wasn't wearing a shirt. The sheets weren't his. He didn't have silk on his bed. He didn't think he had silk in his wardrobe. The bed was softer than his, the blanket thicker. Someone was holding his hand. Slowly, he tightened his hand around the one in his hand. A softly alto voice spoke, "Hiei? Are you awake?" The words were nearly silent, but they set his head ringing.
"Not so loud," he hissed, scrunching his face.
The hand in his squeezed his, "I'm sorry, Hiei." Another hand caressed his face, "Get some more sleep. You're safe. We'll watch over you."
"Who will watch you?" Hiei murmured, the world beginning to dissolve around him again. He thought he felt something soft press against his lips and the suggestion to sleep repeated as darkness enveloped him.
The world was less liquid around him, more solid. He wasn't in his room, he knew that. He could hear breathing. He concentrated. There were two in the room with him, one on each side, silent other than their breathing. Both his hands were being held. He held himself still while his mind went over what he could remember. Yusuke…he was yelling at someone, drawing power off of him. He felt woozy…and then what?
"Open your eyes, omoimono."
Reluctantly, Hiei's eyes opened. The ceiling slowly came into focus, a wave a nausea flowing through him until the world stopped moving around him again. "I'm not home," he observed flatly.
"We were short on time after meeting the council, omoimono. We brought you back to the café."
"My apartment is closer to the coliseum than here." Hiei's voice was flat and he wasn't looking anywhere but the ceiling. His mind began bothering him about things he didn't want to cope with yet.
There was some shifting before the answer came, "We didn't take your car, omoimono."
"What the fuck happened, Yusuke? And use my name."
"Kurama called to me and you were collapsing. There was a surge of power through our connection that hit Koenma and Sensui." There was a pause and more shifting. Hiei didn't look anywhere but the ceiling. "They weren't killed, but they were forced to reconsider their stand that we pay Toguro's debts."
Glaring at the ceiling, Hiei asked, "What aren't you telling me?"
Kurama took up the thread of the conversation, "When I called out, Sensui made a move to attack you. Yusuke was between the two of you and had Sensui's life in his hands. If Sensui had died, Koenma would have died. They agreed that leaving would be a good idea."
"Sensui's death would have caused Koenma's?"
Yusuke answered, "Yes. A vampire is very tightly bound to their servant. If one dies, the other dies."
"Shit." Hiei's mind still bothered him about things he didn't want to remember. A hand caressed his hair. "Don't touch me!" the words were out before he'd thought about them, and both his hands were freed.
Kurama murmured, "I'm sorry, Hiei."
Voices rose in Hiei's mind at the tone the redhead used. Self-rebuke foremost, demanding that he apologize. But, there was also the memory of things he didn't want to think about that demanded he get out of there as soon as possible. That he return to his home and revoke the redhead's invitation. He couldn't believe the way he'd acted. His memory insisted on replaying each touch he'd started, each and every kiss in vivid detail, prodding his conscience with guilt and remorse. But, undeniably there, was the desire to repeat each touch, each kiss, to explore where the vampires wanted to go. He continued to glare at the ceiling, trying to ignore the desire he felt. Without his express permission, "Fuck," rose from his lips.
"Hiei," Yusuke's voice was soft. Hiei ignored it, continuing to glare at the ceiling because it was safer than looking at the master vampire. "Hiei, please look at me."
"I want to go home, Yusuke. I want to forget last night."
"It's been a week, Hiei." This statement caused Hiei to look at Yusuke. "It was a week ago that we faced the council."
Hiei pushed himself up, "Why am I here and not at the hospital, then?"
"Because the doctor said you didn't need to be in the hospital."
"What kind of quack do you have for a doctor?" Hiei demanded, becoming vaguely aware of the fact he wasn't wearing anything under the blanket.
"I didn't think I was a quack," a soft voice came from the other side of the bed.
"Y-Y-Yukina?" Hiei stammered, turning to face his neighbor.
The girl smiled, her kitten still on her shoulder, "Yes, Hiei."
"You're a doctor?" He didn't think he could be more astonished. He thought his neighbor was a teacher.
"Sometimes, Hiei, yes."
"Sometimes?" he repeated dumbly.
She smiled at him, "I have a gift for healing. It's something I have to do, like you and raising zombies." She approached the bed and the kitten jumped from her shoulder and padded across the bed to Hiei. Hiei looked down as paws pressed against his chest and the kitten nuzzled into him. A half smile tugged at his lips as he tentatively pet the cat, eliciting much louder noises out of the little creature than he would have though possible.
"So, you're not really a doctor?" Hiei asked softly, his tone hard, but his voice softened by the attention he was paying the cat.
"No, I couldn't stand the lab work. I can't be around dead things." Hiei looked up to see the girl wrapping her arms around herself and shivering.
"How long have you known them?" he asked, his voice sharp.
"I met Kurama the first time when he was waiting for you outside your apartment. I was surprised when he came to talk to me a couple nights later." She sat on the foot of the bed and the kitten padded over to her, curling on her leg. Absently, she stroked the cat. "He asked me about what he said you'd said I'd said. About me saying he needed help." She looked down at the cat and scratched its chin, her voice softer when she looked up, "He was very worried about you Hiei." Her eyes met his a moment longer, "They both were. Yusuke came over after Kurama had been there about half an hour. He was carrying you, Hiei. You were screaming."
Hiei looked around the room, "Why am I here, then?"
Kurama shifted, drawing Hiei's attention, "I had her revoke your invitation."
Hiei's expression was dead, his voice matching it, "Why?"
The redhead's expression was pained, "You were afraid of us, Hiei. You stopped screaming as soon as Yukina touched you, but with one of us, you'd scream." Kurama looked down, his hair hiding his face, but his voice cut Hiei to the quick, "I suggested that if it would calm you, Yukina could revoke the invitation you'd given me. There's nothing that can be done about the marks, though."
Yusuke shifted, drawing Hiei's attention away from Kurama. "I'm sorry. I didn't think you hated us that much, Hiei." He actually looked penitent.
Hiei hurt more at those words. He looked at Yukina. The girl was watching him, silent. Her eyes gave him nothing and everything. "I want to go home."
"I brought you some clothes," Yukina murmured, picking up the kitten and setting it on her shoulder, "I need to go get them." She stood and left the room, Kurama following behind her, his head low.
Yusuke began softly, "Hiei…"
"Save it for someone who cares, Yusuke," Hiei growled and flopped back down on the bed, pulling the blankets up to his chin.
"You're welcome here whenever you want, Hiei." Yusuke stood and left the room.
Hiei fought the desire to squirm uncomfortably. He'd caused them a lot of pain, he could see that. He wanted to kick his own ass for leading them on. They loved him. That was bad. People who loved him died. He had to make them stop, no matter how badly it hurt. It was for their own good. That's what he told himself, that's what he wanted to believe. But, there was something inside him that accused him of running scared, of being a coward. He didn't want to face that part of himself. He didn't want to hear it, didn't want to believe it. He couldn't. If he did, it'd lead him to their arms, and they'd die. To love him was fatal. Yukina returned with clothes and set them on the foot of the bed, leaving the room for him to dress alone. The kitten, however, insisted on staying with him, nuzzling his face when it took too long for him to sit up, licking his cheek and chin until he pushed the cat away and sat up. His hands shook and his mind raced around as he pulled on his clothes. His legs were a little rubbery, but that, at least, he could contribute to being in bed for a week. Tail high, the kitten led him out of the room when he was dressed. In silence, Yukina drove him home and he locked the door behind himself, sinking to the floor by it, his head in his hands.
Yusuke followed Kurama out of the room. If the redhead was aware of him, he gave no indication, just kept walking, head down. Kurama led them deeper under the café and Yusuke began to feel nervous. There was only one room this deep under the café, and only one reason to visit it. Kurama had never been there. He didn't belong there now. As the redhead pushed the door open, Yusuke called to him, "Kurama, what are you doing?"
Kurama didn't turn around, his hands on the door, "It's my fault, Master."
"What is, Kurama? What is your fault? What is so bad that you belong in there?"
"I pushed him away. It's my fault. If I hadn't convinced him…"
Yusuke pulled the redhead from the door and forced him to look at him. "It is not your fault, Kurama! You were doing what I asked you to do."
Kurama pulled away, looking down, his face to the side, "I did it, Yusuke. I did it. You didn't convince him to come with us. I did. I ruined it. It's my fault. I deserve to be in there. I couldn't have done you more of a disservice."
Yusuke's chest tightened. The redhead could be stubborn when he wanted to be, and there was no way to talk him out of it, either. He looked away from Kurama, "How long, then?"
"Is there long enough for what I've done?" Kurama's voice was desolate.
"Why did you lie to him, Kurama?" Yusuke looked at the redhead again.
"Lie?" Kurama's head came up but he didn't quite look at Yusuke.
"You told him Yukina revoked his invitation. You know he's going to figure it out. Why did you lie to him?"
"I didn't want to hurt him anymore." Kurama's head when back down. "Please…" he whispered.
Yusuke stepped closer to the redhead, cupping his cheek and forcing the broken green eyes to look at him. "I'm doing this because you asked for it, not because you deserve it. Understand?"
"But, I do…" The redhead tried to look away again.
"No, you don't, Kurama." Yusuke pulled Kurama's face closer to his and kissed the redhead. It hurt him when Kurama didn't return the gesture. He sighed and moved around the redhead to open the door. Within the room were three coffins, all covered in silver chains and crosses. The crosses glowed when the two entered the room. Kurama winced from the light but Yusuke was old enough to bear it for a time. There were a pair of lead lined gloves on the wall and he pulled them on. "As you feel is needed, Kurama," he said, his voice hollow. He walked over to one of the coffins and lifted the lid. Kurama crawled in, his eyes drowning in unshed tears. "How long, Kurama?" Yusuke pressed again.
"Until your heart stops hurting, Yusuke." Kurama turned away, closing his eyes, tears escaping down his cheeks.
Yusuke bent over and licked the tears off Kurama's cheeks. "My heart is here, Kurama," he whispered.
"Please," Kurama sobbed out. Yusuke nodded though the redhead couldn't see him and closed the lid of the coffin, locking the redhead within. With the crosses on the outside, there was no way for Kurama to get out without someone letting him out. Yusuke pulled off the gloves and hung them back on their hooks. He sat under them, his legs unwilling to move any more, unwilling to support him. He stared at the coffin where he'd locked the redhead, unable to look away, unable to loosen his chest enough for any sound to escape. Dawn found him there, the glow of the crosses fading as he breathed his last.
Hiei felt the pressure of daybreak. It was as if something within him released and he crumpled to the floor. His eyes didn't water, but near silent sobs did escape his throat. He poured his soul out onto the floor, the pain in his chest numbing after a long time. It was almost noon before he moved and the only thing that moved him was a timid knock on the door. "Who is it?"
"It's me, Yukina," the voice on the other side answered him.
"I don't want company," he growled at the door.
"I'm not company. I'm acting as your doctor, Hiei."
"I don't need a doctor."
"Open the door, Hiei, and tell me that. Stand to your feet, open the door and smile at me and tell me you don't need a doctor." Her voice, while still gentle, only thinly veiled a steel will.
Something in that voice told Hiei she wouldn't leave until he did as she asked. He pushed away from the door, surprised at how much effort it took to push himself onto all fours. He was forced to use the door to support his weight as he pushed to his feet. When he managed to reach his full height, he was dizzy. It took several deep breaths to stop the world from spinning around himself. Finally, he managed to open the door. He had to lean against the door frame, though, and couldn't force his mouth to smile. "I don't need a doctor," he growled at her.
Yukina smiled and pushed the door open with one hand while the other held a small picnic style basket that had a thermos sticking out of it. "Yes you do, Hiei," she countered, walking past him. She deposited her basket on the kitchen table and turned to him. "If you didn't, I couldn't have gotten past you."
Hiei pulled the door closed and didn't look at her. "Fine. Now what, doctor?" his tone made the word an insult.
Yukina walked over to him and wrapped an arm under his arms. He pulled away from her. "Hiei, I'm going to help you to the couch. You're barely standing as it is."
Hiei grunted, but allowed her to lead him. He didn't want to admit how much he needed her support to walk the short distance between the door and the sofa. She set him down and brought her basket in from the kitchen. Opening it, she pulled out the thermos and a cup. The liquid was still steaming and smelled of…"Earl Grey?" he asked, the barest hint of interest beginning to show in his eyes.
She smiled, "Yes, Earl Grey. I'd heard you liked tea." She handed him the cup and he frowned.
"Where did you hear?"
"Kurama told me." She watched him carefully.
His hand shook and his face collapsed in on himself. "He said you revoked his invitation. You couldn't do that. What happened, Yukina?"
The girl poured herself a cup of tea and sat on the couch next to him, legs folded tailor style. "When Yusuke brought you, they said you'd been unconscious all day. They didn't tell me what happened, why you were unconscious until later. At the time, all I knew was you were screaming and not responsive. We tried to put you in your apartment, Kurama carrying you, but you started to panic. You ordered him out. It took a lot out of him not to drop you when your order took effect." Hiei winced. He knew the vampire would have been violently thrown out of the apartment. "He held you to his chest, trying to soothe you, to calm you. Yusuke tried to calm you, but you kept yelling about how they'd killed your parents. Your eyes were open, but you weren't there, Hiei." Her voice and eyes held questions.
Hiei looked down at the cup in his hands. He watched the liquid swirl as he rolled it between his palms. "What else happened? What else did I do?"
Yukina sighed, "Sometimes, you would be kind to them. I heard you say once you loved them. But, most of the time, you'd scream. Though, most of the time I was with you, you'd rest quietly."
Hiei sat quietly for a long time, watching his tea. He put the cup down on the coffee table and leaned into the couch. "What did I do that broke them, Yukina?" His eyes were closed. Three years of being pursued and he had not convinced Yusuke to leave him alone. What happened?
"I don't know, Hiei," Yukina's voice was soft.
"Don't lie to me. It won't spare me anything."
"You tried to kill Kurama and then yourself. You wanted to get rid of the marks, anyway you could. I saw you. If you'd had a weapon of any type, you would have succeeded. You blamed Kurama for entrapping you, for lying to you. You said it was his fault and he should die. Yusuke pulled you off of him and you tried to kill yourself. You tried to bite your wrist. You were wild, Hiei. I had to give you a shot of tranquilizers to stop you. But, the damage was done."
Hiei brought his hands to his face. "Fuck." His hands fell to his lap, "Why were they holding my hands when I woke up?"
"They were hoping it was just some hallucination making you act that way. They hoped, when you woke up, everything would be the way it was in front of the council. They love you very much, Hiei. They told me what happened at the arena. Don't answer me, but you need to figure out if you love them, Hiei, and what you're going to do about it." She stood, "Drink the tea and get some proper sleep." She left the apartment, locking the door behind her as she did.
A/N: Gyah...angst...next chapter, too, but I warned you it was coming. Why on earth would anything between a vampire and vampire hunter be easy? I have finished the writing of this story...there are 3 more chapters, the last of which will be massacered...err...cut to fit under the rating requirements...and it will hurt muchly to do so. Hopefully, aff will be up before then and I can post it there. If not, I'll post it at my livejournal. Until next chapter...love the reviews, keep them coming :D
