Hiei glared at the door, wondering when she got keys. He couldn't bring himself to get off of the couch and the tea smelled good. It was probably a bad idea, but he decided to trust her, for now. He picked up the tea and it just smelled of bergamot. Cautiously, he sipped it, his mind going over what Yukina had told him. He'd really screwed up this time. He just didn't know where or how. He sipped the tea then leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, the cup between his hands. Figure out if he loved them? It wasn't safe for him to love. It wasn't acceptable. If he loved, what he loved would be torn from him. He couldn't love. He drank the rest of the tea and set the cup down on the table. He was too tired to get up so he swung his legs around and laid on the couch, his head resting on the arm. He didn't think he'd sleep. His mind hurt too much, his heart hurt too much. He stared at the curtains, heavy drapes that blocked most of the light from out side. Within his apartment, it was dim. He watched the fabric rustle as the air turned on. He tried not to think, tried not to let his mind linger on the vampires.
Kurama turned to him, his green eyes burning with something that was neither love nor hatred. It was hunger. Hiei felt himself backing up, away from the redhead. That hunger frightened him. "Why did you do it, Hiei?" his voice demanded, harder than he'd ever heard the redhead speak.
Suddenly, Kurama was gone and Yusuke was behind him. Hiei jumped, trying to get away from the brunet vampire. "Why, Hiei?" Hiei looked into the brown eyes and felt himself being pulled down, his soul being ripped from his body.
The world made no sense. There was no up or down. Things swirled around him. He reached out for anything. Anything he touched slipped through his fingers, dissolving the moment he touched it. He cried out.
"Who do you want to help you?" a voice he didn't recognize asked him.
"What do you mean?" he growled, trying to find the voice, trying to find anything.
The voice spoke again, from somewhere else, causing him to turn quickly, "You can't get out of here alone. Who do you want?"
Hiei glared into the swirling unreality, "Fuck off!"
The strangeness intensified. Things swirled up and moved toward him, dissolving just before reaching him. "You cannot get out of here without help."
Hiei swung at the things moving toward him. He was unbalanced and spinning in the nebulae. Things grew stranger around him as he tried to stop the motion, but there was nothing for him to grab on to.
"Call out for who you want to help you."
"I don't fucking need any help!"
There was a laugh that echoed around him, sounding like a thousand throats reveling in his discomfort. He struggled to find anything, any way to stop himself. He flung his arms out wide, but he continued to tumble. Green eyes, brown eyes went through his mind. "NO!" he cried out.
"Call out for them, Hiei."
"Yusuke! Kurama!" he screamed.
He woke, falling off the couch, catching the coffee table with his shoulder. The phone rang. It was dark in his apartment save for the lighted LED panel under the television. It was nearly midnight. Who would be calling him now? He tried to push to his feet, but that wasn't working well, so he crawled to the phone, picking it up on the third ring. "What?"
"Hiei?"
"Who else would it be?" He was still too disoriented to recognize the voice.
"Hiei, this is Yukina."
He was beginning to sort out the world. She sounded worried, "What's wrong Yukina?"
"It's…it's…" she hesitated.
"I just woke up by falling off the couch. What's wrong?"
"I'm sorry," she murmured.
"Yukina…"
"Hiei…I don't know how to ask you this."
He was getting frustrated. "Ask me what?"
There was a pause, then very softly, she asked, "Do you love them?"
He was about to grumble at her, but paused, twisting so he was leaning against the wall, "Yukina, I can't love anyone. They'll die."
"That doesn't answer my question." Her voice was tense.
"Cut to the chase, Yukina. I didn't sleep well."
"Do you love them?" she insisted, her voice tense.
He sighed, his head falling to the wall, "I don't want to, Yukina. I don't want to love them because I'll hurt them. They'll get hurt if I love them."
"They'll die if you don't," she whispered.
"What?" Hiei's head came up from the wall.
"Can you get to the café or are you still feeling weak?"
"What do you mean 'they'll die if I don't love them'?" he pressed.
"Can you get down here, Hiei?"
"I had to crawl to the phone. What's going on Yukina?"
"I'm coming by to pick you up, Hiei." The line went dead.
He glared at the receiver in his hand before setting it back on the base. What the hell did she mean? He stared at the window, trying to understand the dream he'd been having. Why did he have to call out to them? He sighed, drawing his knees up to his chest and draping his arms across them. His head rested against the wall and he closed his eyes.
"Do you love them?" the question circled his mind over and over, a vulture waiting for its meal to die. He thought of Kurama, the redhead smiling at him, comforting him, listening to him about his family, not pressing his advantage. The redhead who missed Assam tea. The redhead who faced Karasu, who had asked him to hunt him down if he lost. Did he love Kurama? He sighed.
"Do you love them?" the question continued to wait. He thought of Yusuke, the brown eyed vampire insisting on calling him omoimono, sweetheart, from the beginning. The brown eyed vampire who would taunt him, would tease him, but never pushed too far. The brown eyed vampire who wanted him, not because he was powerful, but for a reason he didn't understand. The brown eyed vampire who protected the redhead. Did he love Yusuke? Again, he sighed.
"Do you love them?" the question was coming closer, sensing its prey's near demise. "Do you love them?" His head feel forward onto his arms. He jumped when he heard his door opening, turning to face it. Yukina walked in and he blurted out, "Yes." Something in him died, something was born.
"Yes, what, Hiei?" Yukina asked, surprised by the outburst.
"I…I love them, yes. I'm afraid, Yukina," his voice was faint.
She closed the door behind herself and knelt next to him. "Not everyone who loves you will die. Not everyone who is loved by you will die." She pulled him into a hug. "It's okay to love, Hiei."
He pushed away from her, "What's going on, Yukina?"
She sighed, "Do you know how the vampires that disobey Yusuke are punished?"
Hiei frowned, "No."
Yukina looked away, "They're put into coffins covered with silver chains and crosses and left in them for however long Yusuke determines they need to be in there."
Hiei felt his stomach drop. "You're telling me this why?"
She looked away and whispered, "Kurama demanded that he be punished. Yusuke hasn't left the room. I tried to talk to him, but he just stares at the coffin Kurama's in."
Hiei pushed away from the wall, still unsteady. He managed to get to his feet, swaying slightly. "Idiot," he groused, trying to take a step, but his knees wavered, threatening to drop him. Yukina was supporting him before they had a chance. "Idiot," he repeated, growling, not sure exactly who he meant. "Let's go."
Yukina helped him out of the apartment, locking the door behind them and then handed Hiei the key. "I won't need this anymore."
"Why'd you have it in the first place?" he grumbled, pocketing the key as they reached the top of the stairs. He held onto the rail firmly as they stepped down.
"Get you clothes." She was having trouble with his weight on the stairs, especially since they were nearly the same height, but they made it down. His car was in its parking space. He stared at it. "Kazuma helped me bring it back here," she offered.
Hiei was surprised. "Kazuma?" he looked at the girl.
Yukina blushed under his scrutiny, "Detective Kuwabara."
"He's not good enough for you," he declared, still growling.
"Well, you're taken," she teased back.
"Hn," he countered, but the anxiety that had eased slightly with the by play returned in full force. "What if…?" he began softly as she opened the door for him. Yukina glanced at him, but he shook his head. She let it slide and entered the car on the driver's side. As she was fastening her seatbelt, he began again, "What if I went too far, Yukina?"
Yukina held the wheel and thought a moment before she answered, "I don't know, Hiei. You won't know until you try." She started the car and backed out before adding, "Be honest with yourself and with them. I think…" she paused while checking for traffic to pull out, though at this time of night, there was none. "I think there's still hope, Hiei." She looked him in the eye. "I have to believe it."
"Why?"
She smiled and sighed, "Because I've become fond of you and them." She grinned at him, "I kinda think of you as the brother I never got to have."
He looked over at her and she smiled at him quickly before returning her attention to the road. They were at the café before he could think of anything to say to her.
She cleared her throat after she cut the engine. "Hiei, I need to tell you. There are a couple of humans in there. They…they were supposed to feed Yusuke and Kurama tonight."
"I knew someone had to, Yukina." His eyes were focused on the glove compartment. "I need to go in there. I need to go before I loose my nerve, Yukina."
"You're going to have to meet them."
"I know. They probably hate me."
"I don't know." She got out of the car and he managed to get out as well, leaning heavily on the vehicle for a moment. He shook his head when she offered to help him. He was bound to make it to the café without her help. She walked beside him, close enough to catch him if he needed it, but not touching him. Their progress was slow and by the time they reached the café from the parking lot, two people were waiting for them.
"Are you the human servant?" one asked, short dark hair over dark eyes. His voice was deeper than his figure would made Hiei think it should have been
Hiei stopped, standing his ground, "Yes."
The second stepped down, his hair much longer, his eyes vibrantly blue even in the strange light of the parking lot. "You hurt them, you know?"
"I know."
"What are you going to do about it?" the first one asked.
Hiei looked at both of them in turn. "Do you have names?" he asked.
"Hagiri," the first answered.
"Kuronue," the second answered a moment later, after eyeing Hiei.
"I intend to go in there and drag them out."
"Drag them out?" Kuronue asked, amused.
"Yes."
"And how do you intend to do that?" Hagiri asked.
"Do you want to waste the rest of the night questioning me?" Hiei asked, his voice sharp.
Hagiri and Kuronue exchanged a glance and Kuronue nodded, "Fine, we'll be waiting to feed them, but if you don't succeed, you're staying with us today." The threat behind those words hardly needed to be vocalized.
"Hn," Hiei grunted as he pushed past the two. He could use some food himself, but that could wait. He was feeling stronger as he made his way into the café, Yukina at his side and the two walking behind him. He went down the stairs and then paused. "Where are they?"
"Left," Hagiri answered, "end of the hall."
Hiei turned and looked down the hallway. It was a long way and he wasn't sure if he could make it, but he was determined. Head high, he took the first step, his stomach fluttering mercilessly in his body. He clenched his fists, he didn't want his hands to shake. One after the other, his feet made their way down the hallway, his stomach getting tighter and tighter, almost painful. He stood outside the door, "In here?"
"Yes," Kuronue answered.
"Wait out here," Hiei ordered, pushing into the room, swallowing hard.
The room was lit only by the light of the crosses that glowed in the presence of the vampire. Hiei closed the door and looked around. Yusuke was sitting next to the door but didn't respond to Hiei entering the room. His eyes were focused on the coffin across from him. "Yusuke?" Hiei's voice barely made its way past his lips. There was no response from the brunet vampire. Hiei knelt by Yusuke, his knees almost touching the vampire. "Yusuke?" he managed a little louder. There was a flicker of something through the vampire's eyes, but he didn't move. "Yusuke, it's me, your omoimono."
Yusuke's head turned slowly, his face turning to Hiei before his eyes left the coffin, "My…omoimono?" he said, his voice faint.
Hiei nodded, "Yes, your omoimono."
"But, you hate when I call you that." Disbelief was written in large clear letters on Yusuke's face.
"I didn't have my head on straight," Hiei countered. His hand came up tentatively, shaking a little. "I don't know if…I can't take back what happened, but if…" His hand went back to his lap and he looked at the door.
"Omoimono?" Yusuke's voice held more than one question and he reached for Hiei.
"Yukina told me some of what happened. I can't ask you to forgive me." Yusuke's finger was against his lips.
"Why did you say you were my omoimono?"
"Because…because…I love you," Hiei whispered, the words nearly silent.
Yusuke's eyes were dark with emotion. "You love me?" His hand went to Hiei's cheek.
"I do," Hiei answered, leaning into Yusuke's hand.
"And Kurama?" Yusuke pressed, his eyes still dark with emotion.
"Both of you, yes."
Yusuke brushed his lips against Hiei's very lightly, "If you can convince him to get out of that coffin, I will forgive and forget everything, omoimono."
Oddly, what struck Hiei was how cold the master was. "When did you last feed, Yusuke?"
"The night after the council," he answered, looking away from Hiei and back to the coffin.
"Why?"
"Kurama wouldn't feed. He's been tearing himself up, Hiei. Please, if you can convince him to come out, I will forgive anything, I will do anything you ask." Yusuke's eyes were pained.
"I thought you were the master, Yusuke?"
Yusuke frowned, "I love him, Hiei. I have loved him for almost a century. Master or not, he holds my heart and he's hurting and I hurt."
Hiei stared at Yusuke a moment, trying to understand. "I have so much to learn."
"And a long time to learn it, if you decide to take the last two marks. But, that is something to discuss much later. Please, if you can, convince him to come out, to end his punishment." Yusuke's eyes begged him, wanted to believe that he could convince Kurama to come out.
"I'll try. I really will. Please, Hagiri and Kuronue are waiting. Go, feed."
"Not until he does. You haven't eaten either. We'll eat at the same time." Hiei pulled a face, "Not in the same room, Hiei, but at the same time."
"Okay," Hiei sighed. He looked over to the coffin, "I'll try, Yusuke." He pushed himself up and made his way across the room. He was unsteady again and barely managed to cross the room before he had to lean against something. His hands against the coffin, he sent up a silent prayer, if any god would still listen to him, to know what to say, that the redhead would listen to him. Taking a deep breath, he pushed open the coffin, making sure any chains or crosses fell behind the lid.
Kurama was so pale the white satin lining the coffin was darker than his skin. He looked withered away, much worse than he had the night before. His eyes were closed, but his lids so translucent, Hiei was sure he could see the beautiful green of his eyes through them. He stared a moment and the redhead didn't move. Hiei felt his body wanting to give out and he leaned his arms on the edge of the coffin. "Kurama," he whispered. He brushed the back of his fingers along the redhead's cheek, "Kurama, I'm gonna talk like you can hear me. I want you to listen, okay, because this is difficult. I can't go through it again.
"I know I hurt you, Kurama. I hurt you more than I've hurt anyone in my life. I am so sorry, Kurama." His voice choked and he closed his eyes a moment before he could continue. When his eyes opened again, Kurama was looking at him through a veil of tears. "I love you, Kurama," he whispered as his eyes over flowed. Kurama's eyes were broken, not ready to believe. His eyes looked like they didn't believe they were open. "Please, Kurama…" Again, he caressed the redhead's cheek with the back of his fingers.
"Hiei?" the redhead's voice was as pale as his skin.
"Kurama, I…I'm sorry. I love you. I'm sorry," the words fell from Hiei's lips, his head came down to rest on the redhead's chest.
Kurama's hand came up and touched Hiei's hair as if he didn't believe that the necromancer was there. Suddenly, he pushed Hiei away. "No, I don't…"
"Shut up," Hiei growled. Kurama looked stunned. "I was wrong, Kurama. Not you, me. I hurt you. You did nothing wrong."
"But I…"
"You did nothing wrong, Kurama." Hiei's eyes pleaded with the redhead, to believe him, to accept him. "Please, Kurama, let's get out of here."
"I don't deserve it," Kurama's voice barely reached Hiei's ears.
"I thought you were smarter than this, Kurama," Hiei growled, his body complaining at being up too long, his head beginning to swim from lack of food. "I didn't think you were this stupid." He pushed away from the coffin, staggering. "If you're going to be that way, we'll all stay in here until you get your head out of your ass." He fell to his knees.
Kurama sat up, watching Hiei as the slayer glared at him. "I am not stupid," he declared.
"Couldn't prove it by me," Hiei countered, glaring back at the redhead.
"What do you want, Hiei?" Kurama's voice could have burned the room with its ice.
"Weren't you listening, idiot?"
"I heard what you said."
"Then you know what I want." Hiei's glare melted, "God, Kurama. I can't tell you how sorry I am." He looked up at the redhead pleadingly, "Please, I'm the one that should be punished, not you. I'm the one that caused you pain." His head dropped and he seemed to collapse in on himself. "I don't know if…if I should be forgiven."
Yusuke crawled to Hiei and wrapped his arms around the necromancer. Hiei didn't move, not away from and not toward Yusuke. The brown eyed vampire looked up at the redhead, "Please, Kurama."
"What would you have me do, Master?" Kurama's voice was still icy.
"In this, I am not your master. In this, I am only your lover." Yusuke pulled Hiei into his chest, "I cannot command you in this, Kurama. It is your heart that must decide."
"Why are we supposed to believe him now? How do we know this is not some sham?" Kurama's voice was bitter.
"Oh, god," Hiei murmured, "I broke him. Oh, god, oh, god…I have gone too far." Hiei's face was streaked with tears when he looked up at the redhead again, "I would do anything, anything at all, Kurama, to prove to you I mean it. I love you." He pushed away from Yusuke and tried to get to his feet, but they refused to support his weight, so he crawled to the casket the redhead still sat in, "Name it, Kurama, anything, anything at all and I will do it. God, I'm so sorry."
"This…this pathetic thing is what we fear?" Kurama's voice held contempt and anger. He pushed himself out of the coffin, glaring down at Hiei, "This sniveling thing is the one we fear will hunt us down and kill us? This…this is what killed Bui?" He knelt next to Hiei and pulled his head up by his hair, "Why should I believe this is Hiei Jaganshi, famed vampire executioner? Why should I believe you when you're like this?"
Hiei pulled away from the redhead, anger beginning to dispel some of his guilt. "I have never screwed up so badly in my life, Kurama. I've always known what to do to fix it when I have screwed up. I don't know what to do this time. Tell me."
"Why should I?" Kurama still held Hiei's hair in an iron grip. "Why should I tell you what to do, Hiei?"
"Because I love you both and it scares the shit out of me," Hiei answered, looking the redhead in the eyes, trying to show him the truth of his words.
"So, there is something you're afraid of?" Kurama's voice was loosing some of the ice, but none of the condensation.
Very softly, Hiei answered, "Yes."
"Tell me, what exactly are you afraid of, Hiei?" Kurama let his hair go and sat on the floor, his voice bordering on clinical.
Hiei sat back onto his knees. He hated being in this position, having to beg, having to plead for what he wanted, but he took a deep breath and began, "I am afraid of loving you, of being loved by you. I'm deathly afraid I've broken you beyond repair. I'm afraid of being vulnerable, Kurama."
Yusuke made a move to join them, to say something, but was stopped by a glare from Kurama. The redhead continued, "You'll do anything, though?"
Hiei nodded, his voice faint, "Yes, Kurama, anything you ask so that you believe me."
Kurama looked at Hiei a moment then looked at Yusuke, whose brown eyes were begging him to accept Hiei's words, to accept the slayer. "Take the third mark," he finally stated.
Yusuke protested, "He hasn't eaten in over a week, Kurama!"
The redhead glared at the master, "This is between him and me. It is his choice, not yours."
"And if I refuse?" Yusuke asked.
"No, it's okay, Yusuke," Hiei spoke up. "I said anything, I meant it. If this is his price, then it is what I must do." He crawled over to the brunet vampire, "I want to do this. I want it for him, for you, for us." He slid and straddled one of Yusuke's legs, "Please." His head fell to the side, his neck exposed for Yusuke. "Don't be angry with him, Yusuke," Hiei whispered when the vampire hesitated, wrapping his arms around him.
Yusuke returned the embrace, glaring at the redhead. He then turned to Hiei, "It'll hurt. There's nothing I can do about that."
"Please, Yusuke."
Yusuke bared his fangs and sunk them into the large vein of Hiei's neck. The shorter man tensed, pain wracking his body from the sharp teeth breaking the skin. He could feel Yusuke tensing, warmth returning to his body, as his tongue rippled against his neck. He could also feel the vampire entering his mind, his mind entering the vampire's. He heard words in his head, "You are my servant, Hiei. You are never alone. You need not fear us. You don't need to be afraid of our love."
"I love you," Hiei whispered, the world becoming fuzzy around the edges as the pain from Yusuke's bite faded. He felt warm and cold, sinking and soaring, as the vampire's tongue rippled, drawing his blood and pleasure from his body. Hiei sighed, his body going limp, unconscious.
Yusuke pulled away from Hiei's neck, "I love you, too." He then glared at Kurama, who looked shocked.
"Master…" Kurama began, his voice small.
"Say it quickly, Kurama." Yusuke gathered Hiei into his arms.
"I didn't think he'd do it."
Yusuke stood, "I want you to feed then join us at the hospital." He turned and left the redhead staring after him.
When Yusuke reached the door, Kurama called out, "I am sorry."
Yusuke turned. "Kurama," he began, leaning against the door, "I am not angry with you. I know you were hurt, he knew it, too. What happened is between you two. Until things are right between the two of you, things will remain as they were. I want you to feed and join us at the hospital."
Kurama bowed his head, "Yes, Master."
"Kurama, come here." Yusuke set Hiei down gently by the wall while the redhead moved to obey him, green eyes focused on the ground. When he was close enough, Yusuke slid his hand along the pale cheek, drawing those green eyes from the floor. "I love you, my heart," Yusuke whispered and then brushed his lips against Kurama's. "I love you so much, Kurama."
The redhead leaned against Yusuke's chest, "Even though…"
"You were hurt. I won't blame you for just now. If you keep up with the martyr act, though, I'll have to reconsider." Yusuke's free arm went around Kurama's waist. "Kiss me," he whispered huskily.
"As my Master wishes," Kurama whispered, bringing his lips to Yusuke's, chastely at first, apologizing, then deepening the contact, expressing his love and lust for the brunet. Yusuke's teeth broke through the surface of Kurama's lips, but no blood flowed and Yusuke pulled back.
"Feed, my love," he whispered, releasing the redhead.
Kurama touched his lip, looking at his fingers in surprise when they came back clean. "Yes, and then to the hospital, my Master."
Yusuke stepped away from the redhead and picked up Hiei again. Kurama brushed his hand along the necromancer's cheek. "I love you, Hiei," he whispered, pressing his lips against the pale skin his hand traced.
Kurama stepped around Yusuke and opened the door, allowing Yusuke to carry Hiei out before him. Yukina gasped, "What happened?"
"It doesn't matter now," Yusuke answered. "Will you take us to the hospital?" He looked over at Hagiri, "Thank you for coming to night, but I will not need your services until tomorrow."
"You…he…" Hagiri's face was tense.
"Hagiri, I don't have time to explain right now. If you are willing, I will need you tomorrow. I will be at the hospital."
"Is that wise, Yusuke?" the human asked.
"If you like, you can stay with us."
"Us?" Kuronue asked.
"I will be joining them after I feed," Kurama answered, stepping into the hall behind Yusuke and closing the door. His paleness was so striking, he seemed to almost glow in the darkened hall.
Kuronue stepped up to him, wrapping an arm around the redhead, "Kurama…" He bared his neck, pushing his hair back. Kurama met his eyes, pulling him into his gaze, drawing him into a web of pleasure. Yusuke and Yukina left the hallway, Hagiri following them after a moment.
"Thank you," Kurama murmured, holding Kuronue's head, his hand tangled in the long black hair. Kuronue moaned when Kurama's lips touched his throat, pleasure coursing through his mind. When Kurama's teeth punctured his skin, however, a gasp of pain escaped his lips, quickly swallowed by moans of pleasure as the redhead rippled his tongue to drink from the open wounds on his throat. Kurama's body warmed and the strength of his control over Kuronue's mind improved and he was able to erase the pain he'd caused from his initial wound to the long haired human. Kuronue's body relaxed and he sighed as the redhead released him.
"Always wonderful, Kurama," Kuronue murmured, leaning against the wall, his eyes sated. He ran his hand along Kurama's arm.
Kurama smiled, "I need to go to them, Kuro. Thank you."
"I'll see you tonight?"
Kurama smiled, meeting those satisfied blue eyes without pulling the human in, "Are you that anxious, Kuronue?"
"Shit, Kurama. Feeding you is better than the best sex I've ever had. I don't get why Hiei hasn't fallen for you before." Kuronue looked away, "I'm jealous of him."
"He is immune to our power, Kuro. He can never experience what you do when I feed. I'm sure if he knew, he'd be jealous of you."
"But, he has your heart. I only have your stomach."
"And my appreciation, Kuronue."
Kuronue smiled sadly, "It's not the same."
Kurama smiled enigmatically, "No, I suppose not." He turned to fully face the human, "But, do you truly love me, Kuronue, or the way I make you feel?"
Kuronue looked away, unable to answer the redhead the way he wanted to. He knew then what the answer was and what he could not have. "Hiei is one lucky bastard."
Kurama smiled, "As are Yusuke and I, Kuro."
The human smiled. "So, I'll see you tonight?"
"That would be appreciated, Kuro. Thank you." Kurama turned and strode quickly down the hall
A/N: Well...what'd ya think? I know I pulled Hiei a lot more OOC than he has been in this story, but I tried to justify it...tried to make it logical and reasonable...did I make it? Let me know what you think. The next chapter will finally be dual posted again (aff should be back up)...since it's seven chapters to catch up on, I may post a few a little earlier at aff, but they'll be textually the same that they were here. Next chapter probably should be edited, but I'm not going to because it's only a couple of paragraphs. I should start working on chapter 13, though, since I have a lot to edit out of it...gyah! Enjoy, review :D
