No one thought I would fall for you; no one thought I could even love, least of all my ne'er do well of a husband. I think had he realized what he would set loose, he might have thought twice before throwing us into bed together. If I had known how it would end, I might have thought twice about pursuing you.

My beautiful Buck, like some bandit out of the pages of a bodice ripping western. The outlaw come to seduce the oilman's daughter. They hated you, but they couldn't help but be enthralled by you. So different from anything in my world, so much color and life, more than these gray halls have seen in a lot of years.

You made me beautiful; when people saw us together, they looked at me in a way that hadn't before. It was like suddenly the world saw Tracy Quatermaine as a sexual being, a woman of mystery and beauty. They all wanted to know what it was a woman like me had to offer a man like you. They wanted you, and because of that, they wanted me.

Then reality set back in, and I realized that I had never been more then a passing fancy, a joke…at best a fun way to spend an afternoon. Was it really me? Or just your inability to be tied down? I refused to let you see me cry, but I died a little bit inside that day. You became another brick in a very large wall, and I turned my back on you and walked away.

Then I turned around and there he was. Luke…the man who began it all, standing there with open arms and open heart. It didn't happen immediately, but I fell in love with him and he fell in love with me. And now, now you want to walk back into my life, Buck? You say you can't live without me, and that you need me… You expect me to forget the past and welcome you back with open arms.

I've changed, Buck. I'm not lonely and desperate anymore. I've become whole and strong. If I take you back it will be on my terms, in my time and in my way.