Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts doesn't belong to me cause if it did Leon and Cloud would so be together!
Title: Too Much To Ask
Summery: Just as everything's going wrong for Cloud can he finally find his 'happy ever after?'. One shot, LeonxCloud. Yaoi, no likey no readee.
The title song is Avril Lavigne and the lyrics in this fic are also from Avril Lavigne.
I couldn't tell you why he felt that way,
He felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help him,
I just watched him make the same mistakes again.
What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where he belongs, where he belongs.
He wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where he lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry his eyes.
Broken inside.
You know, it's kinda weird. I mean, when a bunch of bad stuff happens to you, you expect something good to happen to you don't you? I mean, it's the least you deserve after you've been through so much pain and grief right? I mean I've seen it happen to lots of people and definitely in loads of movies.
So then, why can't it happen to me? Why am I so different to everyone else that it can't happen to me?
Why did it have to be my parents who got killed in the car crash and not the drunk in the other car? Why did he get to live when it was his fault my mom and dad died? Even thought they died two months ago it doesn't make the pain go away, it doesn't lessen it, its still awful going to a house that's dark and empty after so many years of it filled with love and laughter and light.
So after that, I think it's not too much to ask for that a guy gets some slack is it? It'd be nice if things went my way for once isn't it?
So why is that when I have a minor breakdown at college and can't take it all much longer, can't take the fact that my parents are dead, that I won't get to go out with my dad every Sunday for some 'bonding time' and that I won't get to see my mom's smile or hear her laugh. I can't take the fact that I'm in love with my best friend and have been for several years, the same best friend who just happens to be a boy, one who doesn't really express any lovey-dovey emotions and who's only gone out with girls before and may very well be straight. I can't deal with the fact that when and if I ever tell him how I feel, tell him that he has my heart 'cos in all honesty he has, and I ain't ever gonna get my heart back and I ain't gonna be able to fall in love again cause as my pa used to say, 'when you fall Cloud, your gonna fall hard,' he was right, cause I have fallen hard for Leon.
I can't take this all, I can feel the tears building up in my eyes, just trying to get out. I run to the park, one of the few places I've ever felt safe in. Its empty in the park, which is good cause I sure as hell can't deal with people today. I sit on the swing and rock back and forth gently, finally letting the tears run freely down my cheeks, tasting the salty tears as some fall onto my lips. I just sit there and cry, cry for what seems like an eternity, letting all my pain and grief out in my tears.
All I want is for Leon to feel the same as I do, is that so much to ask for, after all that's happened to me? Look at Riku and Sora. They've got each other, Selphie and Tidus have each other as well, nearly everyone has someone they can pour their heart out to except me.
I mean, yea sure I got Leon, but he's not really the sentimental type to listen to all this, he just doesn't know what to do when this sort of thing happens. I talked to him about my parent's death, told him all about it and he listened, never pushing me or anything. But I can't exactly tell him that I'm mad about him can I? I know he probably doesn't feel the same way as I do towards him, that's fine. I won't be able to get over it but I'll be able to live with it so long as I've got his friendship. If I lost that then I don't know what I'd do, its one of the only things I've got left to treasure.
I rub my eyes hastily as I hear footsteps towards me and look up and see Leon standing in front of me. Gosh he looks so gorgeous standing there with the wind tousling his hair and his frame dark against the fading rays of sunlight.
He comes to sit next to me on the other swing and rocks back and forth slowly, looking at the dying blues and reds in the sky. We both sit like that, in comfortable silence for awhile until he looks at me and starts speaking.
"Cloud, what's wrong? Why did you cry and run off like that? What's happened?" He looks at me, and I can see the concern in his eyes, showing me that he was worried about me.
"I...I'm f…fine, there's nothing wrong, honest." I croak out, stammering a bit at the lack of use of my vocal cords and my crying for what seems like an eternity.
"You're not fine Cloud, if you were you wouldn't have broken down and cried. Tell me, what is it? Is it your parents? Are you missing them? Is that what's bothering you?"
"Yeah, it's that. I'm just missing them, nothing new. Don't worry about me." I look down, not looking into his eyes, cause I know if I do then he'll know I'm lying.
"Cloud, look at me." He commands softly.
I look at the ground, refusing to look at him. Suddenly I feel two fingers on my chin and I'm met by a pair of blue eyes.
"You're lying. What's the real reason you're so upset? I'll try making it better." Leon says softly.
I get angry at that, I don't know why I do but I do and I yell at him.
"How can you make it all better huh Leon! It's not something that's broken that you can just superglue it together! I'm hurting Leon, and it isn't anything that you can fix! You can't fix the fact that I've been in love for years and that they probably don't even feel the same way! Tell me Leon, can you fix that? Can you fix the fact that I love someone so near, yet so far? You can't fix it Leon, you know why? Cause I know you don't feel the same way!"
I stop, tears running down my face and feel the blood rush away from my face. I just told him…I just told him that I love him! No no no no! How could I? He's gonna hate me! I'm so stupid!
I run away from him and into the deeper foresty parts of the park, tears still streaming down my face. Suddenly I'm pushed into a tree and turned around so that my back is against a tree. I look up and see Leon staring at me, face expressionless.
"Cloud? Did you just…do..do you like me?" He looks uncertainly at me.
I laugh wildly at that, ignoring the fact that my laugh is tinted with crazed despair.
"Like you? Like you Leon? I love you! I've been in love with you for years Leon!" I ignore the fact that my sobs are getting louder, my crying intensifying.
"And you know what the sad thing is Leon? Is that I've been in love with you for so long, seen you go out with loads of girls and know that I can never go out with you! That you'll never be mine! That I can't ever make you as happy as your girlfriends do!"
I stop shouting, breathing deeply, afraid to even look at Leon. Suddenly I feel a pair of lips cover mine and feel those oh so soft lips press against mine gently for one, two, three seconds and just as I'm about to respond to them they go away.
I open my eyes, not aware that I'd shut them and look at Leon who stared back at me with a deep look of intensity and something else in his eyes.
I touch my lips dazedly, still not believing that that actually happened. That Leon just kissed me.
"How do know that you'll never go out with me huh? How do you know I'll never be yours huh? How do you know that you'll never make me happy huh? How'd you know Cloud? Have you ever tried finding out? You haven't, I know you haven't. You've lost all hope in thinking that we could be together. Why though Cloud, why? Why didn't you ever tell me you were in love with me huh? Afraid that by some crazy miracle I might feel the same way? Did you ever think about that? Did you ever think that maybe I thought you didn't like me, that you were straight? Did you ever think about any of those things?" Leon stops, also shaking, with that same intensity in his eyes and his face the epitome of determination.
I stare at Leon in confusion. He couldn't possibly like me, could he? Its just, its just so unreal!
It was unreal that is, until I felt his lips against mine in a gentle kiss, him only pressing slightly, then applying different amounts pressure on my lips. I responded back eagerly, kissing him for all I was worth, somehow trying to pour all my love into this one kiss. I put my arms around him and my hands fisted into his hair, feeling myself getting pushed into the tree as his tongue nudged my lips which I gladly opened. He slipped his tongue inside my mouth and licked my tongue, urging it to come forward and 'play'. His hands slipped under my shirt and moved up and down in a slow, rhythmic pace, leaving me moaning into the kiss.
We stopped for air and looked into each other's eyes, and I realized that finally, something good had happened to me, probably the best thing that I could ever had hoped for.
I had Leon, and he was mine.
"I love you Leon, so much."
Leon smiled the most beautiful and gentlest smile ever, and said ever so softly into my ear,
"I love you too baby, my Cloud." And kissed me gently on the forehead.
And at that moment I just knew that everything was going to be okay, and always will be.
Owari!
So then, did you like it? I hope you did as this is my first attempt at a Kingdom Hearts fic, and I hope I got Leon's eye colour right!
I'd be very greatful if you'd review and tell me your thoughts on this fic!
!Aki!
