It had been hard being a single parent and raising a child but Baby did the best she knew how. She came from a well brought up childhood and was going to make sure Josie had the same. Josie wasn't to the point yet to where she asked about her father but Baby knew that time would come. Now what she would tell her would be another story. She should just tell her the truth but she would know what to say when the time comes.
There had been good times and bad and now it seemed another bad time was coming. All Josie's life Baby had done her best to protect her little girl from everything that could harm her. She was aware that if Josie had leukemia it would be something they had to face together.
Baby put Josie to bed the minute they got home and took a moment just to watch her sleep. She looked so much like her father. She had his brown eyes and brown hair. There was no denying the resemblance. That same grin Johnny used to smile for Baby she now sees everyday when she looks at Josie.
Johnny begins to run through her head. Where could he be? Has he thought about her? She had always wondered this from time to time. Even though it had been six years she knew her heart was still with him. She just wondered if he still felt the same. She had never experience anything like that before and has never experienced it since. Baby never let another man get close to her since Kellerman's.
Then her mind wonders back to Josie possibly having leukemia. It was still too hard to fathom. "God please let my baby be okay." She couldn't hold back her worry anymore.
Marge and Jake had just finished supper when the phone rang. "Momma."
"Baby, honey, how are you." Marge asked her daughter.
There was a long silence as Marge began to hear muffled tears on the other end of the line. "Baby what is it?" Marge motioned for Jake to pick up the other line.
"Baby?" Jake said. "Why are you crying dear?"
Baby began to speak softly into the receiver. "It's Josie."
"Is she alright?" Jake asked as him and Marge waited impatiently for her answer.
"I had to take her to the doctor today. She was very pale and had a high fever." Baby told them.
"Sounds like it could be a virus." Jake told his daughter.
"I am sure everything is fine." Marge responded.
"It's not that simple." Baby started. "She was also complaining about her arms were sore when she moved them. The doctor said it was joint pain."
Jake sat stunned on the other end of line as he had a flash in his mind of what could be the problem and he didn't like what he was thinking. "Oh no."
"What Jake?" Marge asked him.
"He just knows what it could be." Baby hated to say that.
"Someone fill me in here please." Marge told the two of them.
"Cancer Marge." Jake said with tears in his eyes.
"There is no way." Marge told them. "No way!"
"He run a blood test and said her blood count was low and now he wants to run a bone marrow aspiration." Baby told them wiping the tears from her eyes.
"When?" Jake asked.
"I have to call his office in the morning and schedule a time." She responded.
"Who is he?" He asked Baby.
"Dr. Fleming."
"I will call in the morning and get this all handled. Don't you worry. We will get to the bottom of this." Jake told them both.
"I'm out, Baby!"
"They fired you anyway because of me?"
"And if I leave quietly, I'll get my summer bonus."
"So I did it for nothing? I hurt my family, you lost your job anyway, I did it for NOTHING!"
"No, no, not for nothing Baby...nobody's ever done anything like that for me before."
"You know you were right Johnny...you can't win no matter what you do!"
"I don't wanna hear that from you, you can!"
"I used to think so."
Baby woke up in a sweat. Johnny was filling her every dream. He was making it so hard for her to sleep. Why could he be on her mind so much today? It had to have been just her nerves from what the doctor told her. But, she knew that wasn't the reason he was on her mind. He was on her mind because she was still in love with him.
Part of her had always wanted to tell Johnny about Josie. She wanted him to be in her life but Baby was just afraid to tell him. She had no idea how he would react or anything. For years she had tried to put Johnny out of her mind but it always deemed hopeless. He was almost of the end of her every thought. Not to mention every time she looked at Josie Johnny would always shine through.
Now Josie could be in critical condition and Baby would do anything to have Johnny by her side, wishful thinking on her part. She would probably never seen Johnny for the rest of her life, but she would be torn with the fast that Josie may never know her father. Baby had no right to stop Josie from knowing her father. The decision Baby made so many years ago may end up coming back to haunt her in the end. It was only a matter of time.
Baby could recall a time when she told Johnny to "fight harder". Now what was she doing? She was ducking her tail between her legs and running. She had been running from it for six years. Could she carry this dilemma to her grave?
"Alright, have Josie there at 8 am in the morning." Jake told Baby on the phone the next morning. "Work is okay with you being out today?'
"Yes, they are being really good about it." Baby told him.
"Well, your mother and I will meet you there. I don't want you to do this alone." He told his daughter.
"I am so scared daddy." Baby admitted.
"I know you are honey. We can beat this." He assured her. "How is Josie this morning?"
"She is still sleeping. She slept well last night." Baby told him to ease his worry.
"Good, good." He said quietly.
"Daddy?" Baby said in a weird tone.
"What is it honey?" Jake asked concerned.
"Do you think I made a mistake?" Baby asked cautiously.
"A mistake about what?" Jake had no idea what she meant.
"About not telling Johnny." Baby was taken back by her own words. "Was it a mistake?"
Jake paused before he began. "Baby everyday people make choices they always second guess. I just feel like you did what you thought was best at the time. I am in position to judge anyone."
"Daddy, should I have told him?" Baby asked him.
"What are you worried about this now?" He asked.
"I don't know. He had just been on my mind a lot." She confided in him.
"I thought he should have been told from the start but I respected your wishes to raise Josie alone." He finally told her.
"Should I tell him now?" She waited for his answer.
"Baby, I have no idea where Johnny is now. He is not at Kellerman's anymore." Jake told her. "Besides I can't make that decision for you."
Jake was right Baby had to make that decision on her own. But, Baby was scared. Johnny would hate her for not telling him but then again he could not even care. She just better leave well enough alone.
"You get some rest today. We have a big day tomorrow. Give my little buttercup kisses and hugs for me." Jake told Baby. "I love you honey."
"I love you." Baby said as she hung up the phone and just stared out the window.
Baby had always felt she was a strong person but why was she slipping now? She had to be strong for Josie no matter what.
