Chapter Twelve: Revelation
"I have to go to the bathroom." Chrissy said quietly shortly after the judge left the room. Michelle turned to Chrissy with a concerned expression.
"Chrissy, are you okay?" She asked, worried about Chrissy's reasoning for her bathroom trip.
"No I'm not." Chrissy replied honestly. "But I have to go to the bathroom."
"Do you have anything sharp with you?" Michelle asked, knowing full well she was being blunt, but she cared too much to worry about Chrissy's reaction. Chrissy shook her head slowly.
"No, I didn't bring anything, I swear." She said as she looked Michelle right in the eyes. Michelle stared back into those sad brown eyes and believed that even though Chrissy was experiencing pain beyond her years, she was telling Michelle the truth. She was not going to the bathroom to cut herself; Michelle knew it.
"Okay, I believe you. Make sure you come right back though okay? Your testimony is probably the most important one we'll hear, so we need you." She said as Chrissy nodded, leaving the room. Michelle watched her leave and sighed sadly. God, in a matter of minutes, we'll find out what happens. Please be in control, please help us.
Chrissy heard somebody entering the bathroom as she finished up. She bent down to tie her shoelace, and then exited the bathroom stall.
Her heart skipped a beat.
Jessica was standing at one of the sinks, staring at Chrissy's reflection in the mirror. Chrissy swallowed hard, unsure of how Jessica was going to act. There was nobody watching them, no one-way mirror, no judge, and no lawyers. It was just the two of them. Chrissy suddenly felt very nervous.
"Well, look who it is." Jessica said in an almost friendly tone, but Chrissy was sure it was faked. Chrissy was silent as she just stared at her mother with wide eyes, feeling confused and angry. Jessica turned to face Chrissy and Chrissy stared at her with tears brewing in her eyes, as she shook her head. Her whole body was shaking from fury and anger for the woman who had made her life miserable and she wanted nothing more than to lunge at her violently, but instead, Chrissy spoke.
"You lied! You lied on the stand." She said through clenched teeth. Jessica grunted a laugh, and it sent shivers down Chrissy's spine. It was the same, familiar, heartless laugh she remembered hearing from Jessica for years. It was that familiar laughter that pierced through Chrissy's ears like a sharp pin, reminding her of past criticisms and putdowns, and of past beatings and screaming.
"Who cares? They've already said you have emotional problems; what makes you think they'll believe anything you have to say?" Jessica asked with her sarcastic tone. Chrissy shook her head.
"They'll believe me, and they'll believe other peoples' testimonies. Monica's, Michelle's, Wendy's. All I have to do is tell the truth." She replied, wanting nothing more than to have Michelle standing next to her; defending her, protecting her.
"No baby, you won't tell the truth. You're going to go back into that courtroom
and tell everybody about how much I've changed and how remarkable it really is. How when we met again for the first time in over a year, you were overcome with so many emotions and that you truly believe I've changed for the better. You're going to tell them all you want a second chance with your mother." Jessica said with hard, cold eyes, burning into Chrissy. Chrissy swallowed hard and she shook her head, trying hard to stand her ground, despite the deep fear she was feeling inside.
"No! I will not lie on the stand. You're the same woman you were a year ago. I don't want to be with you!" She yelled out. Jessica's face distorted in an ugly way as she flew forward and slapped Chrissy hard across the face. Chrissy stumbled backwards, shocked by the blow. Vivid memories of her mother's vicious beatings came rushing back, as her face stung unbearably. Chrissy felt tears welling in her eyes as she backed up nervously into a wall, staring at her mother, who cornered Chrissy, staring into her eyes.
"I have been through a year of hell, with all these crazy doctors having to hold me down while I was shaking from withdrawal! Do you have any idea how horrible that is? To want nothing more than to have one bottle of beer and they look at you like you're a criminal? No. They are the criminals!" Jessica gestured in the direction of the courtroom. "What are they thinking? First they take away what's rightfully mine and make me out to be this horrible monster! Then they hand you over to some stranger who is apparently the moon and the stars in your eyes! Never! I didn't go through a year of hell to let some Bible thumping Jesus freak adopt the kid that is rightfully mine!" Jessica was right in Chrissy's face, yelling, scaring Chrissy who couldn't hold it in any longer. Tears streamed down her face as she held her bright red cheek.
"You haven't changed at all." Chrissy said in a quiet whisper. Jessica raised her eyebrows.
"But you're going to tell them I have – if you know what's good for you. Now tell me you understand." She said quietly as she stared at Chrissy, who shook her head slowly.
"Do you understand?" Jessica raised her hand, as Chrissy closed her eyes tightly, but Jessica found she was unable to bring her hand down to slap her daughter. Something was holding her hand. She turned her head and saw Tess standing there with an unimpressed look on her face. She was holding Jessica's hand tightly. Chrissy opened her eyes and saw Tess standing there, and breathed out quickly as she felt a calming hand on her shoulder. Chrissy turned and saw Monica was standing next to her. Chrissy began to cry as she fell into Monica's arms, who held her close as Tess let go of Jessica's hand.
"Tess, what are you doing here?" Jessica asked, getting back into false character. Tess was not buying it.
"Jessica, you are finished here. God is not going to allow you to hurt your daughter again." Tess said in her authoritative voice. Jessica raised her eyebrows.
"Excuse me?" She asked, and was shocked when the bathroom started glowing all around her. She stared hard at Tess, who was the one emitting the glow.
"You listen and you listen close Jessica because I'm only going to say this once. For fourteen years, you neglected to love the only daughter you ever had. You've done nothing but hurt her day after day, month after month and year after year. You've always wanted to be in control, because you felt so out of control after your husband died. Anytime something seemed out of control, you turned to alcohol and drugs, hoping they would solve your problems. You thought that hitting Chrissy would make you feel superior, and in control. You never once stopped to think about how much damage you were doing to that little girl. The problem is that you were never in control. The blessing of the matter is that God has been, is, and always will be in control. He's been watching over your daughter from the day she was born and it was decided by God the Father that she would meet Michelle when the time was right so Chrissy could finally experience what true love really is. God wants you to know that when you leave this courthouse today, you will never see your daughter again, but He also wants you to know that He loves you and is in control of your life too. You won't see it right away, but one day, you will turn to God and He'll be right there waiting for you." Tess said as Jessica stared at her, too shocked for words. Silence followed, as Chrissy swore she saw a tear brewing in Jessica's eye. Not a false tear for show, but a genuine tear that gave Chrissy the impression that somewhere, deep down inside of Jessica, there was a glimmer of regret. Tess turned to Monica and winked.
"Your turn baby." She took Jessica's arm and began leading her toward the door. "Let's go." She led Jessica out of the bathroom and Chrissy looked up at Monica with tears streaming down her face, and her whole body was shaking.
"Are you alright?" Monica asked as she gently touched Chrissy's cheek. Chrissy flinched but nodded slowly.
"I knew it, I knew she hadn't changed." She said with a quiet sob as she shivered slightly. Monica nodded.
"Yes. You know, God will always make sure the truth comes out eventually. Have you ever heard the expression, 'the truth shall set you free?" She asked. Chrissy shook her head as she stared at the angel.
"God is Truth. He is so perfect and so loving that it is impossible for Him to lie. Lies do not come from God – only truth does. God loves you so much Chrissy and He knew the whole time that the truth would come out. Just like Tess told Jessica, God has been in control of your life from the very beginning, even before you were born. He knows you've been through a lot, and He knows you're hurting and you're scared, but He wants you to tell the truth. He doesn't want you to be afraid of your mother anymore. Remember, 'the truth shall set you free.' When you finally trusted Michelle yesterday and you told her about your feelings, you felt more at peace, didn't you?" Monica asked. Chrissy thought for a moment before she nodded with a small smile.
"That was God working in your lives. You see Chrissy, the truth will always set you free, because God is Truth, and God is your saviour and He loves you very much." Monica said with a smile. She felt her own tears welling up in her eyes as she watched Chrissy's streaming down her face with a sniffle. Chrissy seemed to be taking it all in, as her eyes drifted down to her bandaged wrist. She looked up at Monica with worried eyes.
"Is God mad at me for…for cutting myself again?" Chrissy asked, her voice quavering as she was desperate for an answer. She never wanted to hurt anybody – especially God. Monica shook her head.
"No. God loves you no matter what you do, but He does want you to know that He doesn't want you to do it anymore. Keep your promise to Michelle, little one. God put the two of you together for a reason, you know. She can help you through this, if you'll let her."
"But what if they take me away from her?" Chrissy asked with a gasp.
"If you tell the truth today about what happened here, God will honour that and I promise you that you will be safe. Just put your faith in God and trust that He knows best. Don't be afraid." Monica replied and she stared into the misty eyes of the teenage girl who held so much pain behind them that Monica knew it would take quite some time for Chrissy to be able to overcome all the years of grief and sadness, but she trusted wholeheartedly that God would be in control.
