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*Color*
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Nina winces as she sets up her med tray, the bandage on her wound needed cleaning. It might have been better to go to the medical wing in the Central tower but she was getting sick of white walls and the smell of bleach. Being Jin's bodyguard meant that going there was a regular occurrence and sometimes, to her detriment, she was often kept in overnight.
"Hurts does it?" A deep voice reverberates through her room.
Dammit. She didn't want him to see her like this. Nina's hand hovers over her injured arm, contemplating whether to hide it from him or not.
She turns slightly and answers him over her shoulder. "How long were you watching me?"
These days, Jin was getting good at lurking. Probably reached her level. Perhaps Jin was always a good lurker and she was just noticing now.
"A while." He admits, taking this as his cue to enter her room.
She feels the warmth of his body as he stands close. Nina lowers her hand and explains to him that she was trying to clean her wound.
Jin's already reaching for her bloody bandage and she hisses. "No! Your hands will get dirty!"
"You're the one injured and you're worried about my hands touching your blood?"
"That's right. I don't want my blood on your hands."
A looming silence rests between them for a moment. Nina looks at him and guesses he's probably thinking he already has the blood of many of his hands, what's one more to add to his list? At times, she caught him overthinking and drowning himself in his melancholic thoughts that she was so grateful that Tetsuya knew how to make Jin smile again. Nina often caught herself being more flirty, humorous and easy going around Jin just to ease his tensions and this felt so natural to her. It never felt like an act. Sometimes, she didn't even realize she was doing it.
"Wear gloves." She says softly, breaking the silence. "Do it for me." She adds and holds her breath.
Without another word, Jin complies with reluctance. The unworn latex gloves lying on the metal tray are now on his hands. He did it for her. Nina exhales, relaxing herself. Gently, Jin unrobes her bandage and Nina watches him intently. His eyes are focused, determined until he sees her wound and grimaces.
I like you. You like me.
His previous words echo in her mind. How accurately he had pinpointed her feelings without her even saying it. He was brave enough to let her know where she stood with him. It might have made it easier for her but also harder. He now knew what he meant to her and she wasn't going to lie. When it was time to say goodbye, she couldn't imagine herself looking him in the eyes and pretending that he wasn't important to her, that his demise would be another scar in her heart. Nina closes her eyes as her wound stings a little, Jin was cleaning it. A part of her was angry Jin wanted something more between them other than being occasional bed mates and friends despite knowing he might die. But then the rational part of her reminded her of her own selfishness and that it was human to want to live. She had no right to expect Jin to be completely selfless and stay away from her. If his time was coming and she could allow the last part of his life to be filled with some happiness, then why not?
She feels Jin blow softly over her wound as he dabs it with a clean tissue.
"Forgive me." Jin whispers. "I didn't mean to cause you pain."
"Healing always requires a little pain." Nina responds.
Jin makes a low sound in agreement as he continues. Nina opens her eyes, her vision adjusts back to the soft daylight emanating in her room. Was she capable of loving Jin? Love required trust and respect. Anna pretty much fucked up her trust in humanity with the countless lies she fed her after cryosleep. Those horrid dreams resurfaced after Nina got close to Jin. Was it a reminder she could trust again? That she could let someone else in again or was it a reminder to warn her not to repeat past mistakes? This war was taking it's toll on them both. Sometimes she caught herself wishing she met Jin under different circumstances with that same magnetism that drew them together without the pain and uncertainty added to it.
Nina winces again when she feels Jin apply some cool cream on her wound.
"Sorry again." Jin shoots her a small smile when their eyes meet.
His smile. It was rare for him to smile and when he did it was either slyly or genuine. He often smiled at her with feeling. It made being close with him worth it.
"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere." Nina promises.
Jin begins to wrap the bandage around her arm. "I know. I trust you."
Hearing those words fills her with a fuzzy warm feeling she probably never felt before. Nina looks at her old bandage in the scented bag. She cringes at the dried blood and at the fact that Jin saw that. The color of blood. Her blood.
"Relax, it's not that bad." Jin teases.
He must have caught her eyeing up her used bandage. "I've seen worse."
"What have you seen?" Nina narrows her eyes. "That counts as worse?"
"I saw globs of spit hanging from Ogre's mouth as I tried to kill him." Jin admits casually, as if it's a normal thing for him to do. Beat a disgusting creature to death on every Tuesdays.
Nina catches herself smiling.
"I guess you're really excited about beating the crap out of Azazel then."
"Of course."
He finishes fixing on her bandage and happily takes off the latex gloves and pops it in the scented bag. Nina thanks him and hands him a fragrant antiseptic gel. She was always anal about clean hands anyway and hands that smelt nice.
"I always find you interesting." Jin admits, opening the bottle.
Nina keeps herself from flailing at that confession. She keeps that stoic face on.
"It's to get rid of that latex glove smell off your hands too."
"Hmmm."
"You don't sound convinced."
He leans over and presses a chaste kiss to her lips. Nina almost loses herself at the tenderness of the act. Jin pulls back, just a couple of inches away from her face. He rests his forehead against hers and she feels his bangs tickle.
"Is that convincing enough?"
His husky voice almost beckons her to go for another kiss.
"You and your way with words. You're getting good Kazama." She replies, deciding to lighten the moment. She was really impressed with how much he had improved in expressing himself and not making faux passes. In the early days of working with him, he was so awkward.
However, it was getting a little too heavy. At this rate they'd be in bed together and she wasn't available for that this week. Plus her arm was still sore.
Jin pulls slightly back and does something that makes her heart flutter. His lips press gently against her forehead. He never kissed her there before.
Then he moves away with a smile. When he's gone, his kisses still linger on her.
This man would never let her forget him.
To be honest, Nina didn't want to.
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Instead of rain, snow now covered everything.
It was dead in December.
Dead with the war's fury, torn up concrete, burning tanks, blood falling into cracks and the media's sharp tongue adding salt to his wound. Jin despised himself already for causing such chaos but the words they all named him with struck a nerve.
Destroyer of Worlds, Lord of Wars, the Bringer of Destruction and...Mishima's Mistake.
He kept Tetsuya away from the news because it was nice to have one person who didn't know what Jin was upto. It was just as bad as hiding the truth about Eddy's grandfather from him so he wouldn't lose that extra pair of hands to help him in his cause. When Jin sat and thought about his actions after the news, he hated himself even more.
Tetsuya wasn't meant to stay with them and Jin had stopped hiding behind excuses such as telling Nina he was safer here with them. He was an orphan and yet Jin couldn't fathom how the boy got over the grief. Jin would never get over losing his mother.
The whole world was falling apart in shades of white and black yet this boy, cheerful and chirpy boy acts as if the war outside was a temporary storm. His demands were less too. A smartphone, plain paper, pencils and paint. Often Tetsuya would draw his parents and his life outside of the central tower. He'd made small comics and sometimes after dinner, he would share it with them.
"My parents are in a better place right now." Tetsuya sighs. "I miss them so much but Mother told me never to waste my tears on things I can't change. Father tells me to look forward and let good things manifest to me."
"Your parents sound like good people."
"They were."
Jin tries not to imagine his own mother's voice in his head but he does anyway.
Have you forgotten my teachings?
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"Stop watching the news if it bothers you so much." Nina chides while catching him in one of his moods.
She reaches for the remote but Jin covers it with his hand and tells her to leave it. This is what he deserved. He hears her scoff as she retracts so she stands infront of the TV with her arms folded, blocking his view.
"Move." Jin orders.
She doesn't listen.
He grits his teeth.
"You've never been in my place. You won't understand." His tone is abrasive and he sees her flinch slightly.
Good. He wanted such a reaction.
"Turn it off." Nina repeats firmly, arms still folded.
He seethes and thinks of what to do. Turn the volume up? No that would alert Tetsuya. Get up and move Nina out of his way? He could do it but he didn't want to use force on her. A searing white hot anger burns beneath his skin and since she's standing in front of him, he unleashes his fury on her.
"I'll cut your pay." He warns darkly. "The money is all you care about, isn't it?"
Jin watches Nina raise a brow but she still doesn't move. There was genuine concern in her eyes for him despite his awful treatment and that makes him relax a bit. He closes his eyes and tries to calm down.
A few deep breathes later, Jin opens his eyes in shame. He turns the TV off.
"I apologize Nina. I don't know what came over me."
Sometimes he became this nasty angry person who wanted to cause pain to others. That's not who he was. That was who the devil was. At times Jin was confused who was talking. Was it him or the creature?
Jin buries his face in his palms and sighs so deeply. He was angry he was losing himself and upset he didn't know what to do to prevent that. Now Nina was bearing the brunt of his anger and it didn't help at all. He had a good relationship with her and now that may get spoilt, he thought bitterly. Even if it was a nameless one, it was the only good thing in his life right now.
He gasps in surprise when he feels her hands on both sides of his head. His hands drop down from his face and he looks up at her.
"I know Jin, this isn't you speaking."
He puts a hand on her hip, gripping her there. Jin remembers reading her files and learning about the nasty experiments carried out on her. Of course she felt pain, just as much as him or even more.
"You do understand this kind of pain." He sighs but stops himself from getting carried away. She might not like him bringing up her painful past and he didn't want to ruin the moment.
Nina steps closer and allows him to rest his face against her stomach. She runs her fingers through his hair.
No more words are spoken as they both took comfort in the silence and in each other.
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"Why does Suya remind you of you when you were younger?" Nina asks Jin while joining him on the sofa with a cup of tea and her box of customized mochi. They sat together on the sofa as if it were the most normal thing in earth.
"I was like him once. Not the cheerful and bubbly part but I was a sheltered child." Jin answers.
Nina offers him a mochi. Jin picks the chocolate fudge one and thanks her.
Tetsuya comes along and hands Jin a handmade comic.
"It's for both of you so please share!"
There's a picture of a huge golden dummy with glowing eyes at the front. Behind it was Nina, Jin and some other people.
Jin reads the title which was painted in red. "The adventures of Tetsujin."
"Testu and Jin. I put the names together!"
Jin thanks him and puts the comic down gently on the table, careful not to spill any tea on it.
Tetsuya runs off back to his room with a grin and Nina chuckles.
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He catches Nina listening to nineties songs on the bed. Jin smiles, it was good to see her in his room.
"This one's Mambo number five." Nina says, "A little bit of Kazuya in your life," She sings along, her voice taking on a melodious tone. He was grateful her tone was never an annoying and loud one that hurt his ears.
"A little bit of Nina by my side," Jin joins in, fighting a smile when Nina looks at him.
A little bit of Jun is all I need
A little bit of devil is what I see,
A little bit of a nobody in the sun,
A little bit of Azazel all night long,
After the song, they lie under the sheets, facing each other.
"So the adventures of Tetsujin huh? looks like you and Suya have bonded really well."
"I am quite fond of Suya." Jin confesses. "Having him around makes me remember simpler times."
"He makes you feel human?"
"No. It's not that."
Nina frowns. "Then what?"
"He symbolizes innocence. Had I just left him on the street, he would have becomeā¦.me."
Nina nods and doesn't point out the fact that there were plenty of Jins out there, all with a demon inside them brewing with hate.
"Jin, you're not a bad guy." She says quietly. "You're kind and you just try to hide it but I know who you are."
She finds his hand beneath the sheets and laces their fingers together. Jin's heart races.
He brings their clasped hands up to his lips and kisses her skin.
In spite of everything, he loves her. This is love. He is in love.
His heart almost consumes him.
Later Jin looks into the mirror, expecting to see the devil. He only sees himself.
How ironic that he fell in love when he was about to die.
Jin presses a palm against the mirror, haunted eyes stare back at him.
He had never felt so human in a long time.
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Note: Mambo No 5 idea illustrated by Noh Masked on Tumblr: post/31200368857
