No Funny Business
An AU Mason family short. I have advanced the age of Lily but I'll put them her back in the next fic. Hope it brings a smile, it's just for laughs.
A huge thank you to my Beta Olitzbaby2 who has again helped with the editing and encouragement.
All mistakes are mine. Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. I make no money and I write for fun.
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'Right guys, thanks for doing this.' Lily began gathering her light shawl and purse as she spoke. 'Sam has gone straight to sleep, and he's usually alright for at least a few hours.'
Della waved her hand dismissively, "Darling, go on. Have a good time. I'm pretty sure we can manage."
"Yeah," snorted Perry, "It's not like we haven't done this before."
Della put her hands on her hips and smirked at her husband. "I'm sorry, just who is the expert here?"
"Well you did most of it baby," Perry conceded almost immediately. "But I did help…sometimes!" He playfully swatted her backside before drawing her back against him.
"Alright," Lily put her no nonsense tone on. "You two sit!" She pointed towards the sofa. Perry and Della looked at each other both with a raised eyebrow. Lily reiterated her pointing finger. "Sit!" Her father and mother shrugged at each other and silently did as commanded, lounging next to each other immediately reaching out to hold hands.
"What is it darling?" Della asked innocently.
"Listen, you two had four kids. I know you look after Little P for Junior and Sarah, but this is the first time David and I have left Sam since he was born." Perry opened his mouth to say something but was cut off immediately by Lily holding up her hand. "Let me finish Pop please. I know you two are perfectly capable of dealing with a young baby. I understand there's no problem if he wakes up because I get that mom will fuss over him. I know you are both capable of feeding him if he gets hungry, and I am aware you can both change a diaper. Although I realize dad, you will suddenly find something else to do when and if that's required." Perry smirked knowingly.
"So what is it?"
"I just don't want any funny business."
Della and Perry both looked at each other raising their eyebrows in question before both turning to look at Lily with the most serene looks on their faces.
"Don't look at me like that. I haven't had the sofa scotch guarded yet. And I don't want to sit on my own sofa knowing that you two have potentially….." she sighed heavily ,"No I know given the chance you two will…well you know."
"We'll do what?" Perry pressed, amusement evident in his voice.
"Do I have to spell it out? I want no horizontal rodeo on my couch okay."
Perry couldn't contain his amusement any longer and burst out laughing with an almighty roar.
"Are you ready Honey?" David was jangling his car keys impatiently. "I think your mom and dad know what they're doing. Stop stressing."
"I'm not stressing about the baby, I'm stressing over our couch." Lily growled though clenched teeth.
"What?" David looked perplexed.
"I was just laying some babysitting ground rules to Romeo and Juliet here. No. Funny. Business!"
"How about some snuggling?" Della offered demurely.
"Acceptable." Agreed Lily.
"Necking?" Perry grinned.
"Within reason."
"Petting?"
"Don't push it dad." Lily threw her hands up in frustration. "God you two are so juvenile sometimes."
"Lily sweetie, we're going to miss our reservation if we don't get our skates on," David pleaded. "Our house will be fine. Our son will be fine. I'm sure Perry and Della will respect our couch…I hope."
Lily rolled her eyes and sighed heavily in resignation.
"We'll back in a couple of hours."
"Take your time. Now scoot!" Della jumped up and followed them to the door. After locking it firmly and zipping upstairs to check on her grandson, who was still sleeping soundly, she adjusted the baby monitor to make sure it was on and went back into the living room. A fire was getting started, the wine was uncorked, the lights had been dimmed to nothing more than mood lighting and cushions were scattered about the floor close to the hearth. Perry had managed to seat himself on the floor and was reclining against a cushion propped up against the chair, his shirt half unbuttoned.
"What's this?" Della questioned over her husband. He wiggled his fingers in invitation and waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
"The couch is off limits baby, but she never said anything about the rug!"
Fin
