This is my first fanfic that gets over 100 views.
Big thank you to everybody that read & reviewed the first chapter.
With how most Discworld novels are or could be considered a parody of a subject or a genre, by having said genre or subject being seen through the lenses of everyone`s favorite flat world.
So I tried to make a Discworld take on the isekai trash genre.
And now for the list of tropes that I have yet to use: looks at list, well I have quite the amount of choices, so let's start from somewhere.
Also I suck at writing descriptions so my chapters may not have the most impressive word counts. Or grammar. Or even a bit of originality.
Getting used to a flat new, world.
"text" – speech
'text' – quotes/thought
(text) – note
If one is to exit the boundaries of space and time on the Disc they might find themselves in many places. (Could be but not limited to: A very specific monastery at the mountain Ramtops, any of its local branches, the places where ideas go before they resurface just in time to bother us, to disappear again to when we try to write them down or formulate them in any shareable way and the library of most universities when there aren't exams inbound.) But amongst all the possible un-places are the dimensions of the anthropological personifications – the creatures that embodied the believes and certain ideas.
Right outside of the disk is one very specific parasitic mini universes and
And there is the domain of Death. With a capital D. That domain is in the colors that people associated with death, and while death is a lot of times associated with the eternal void of color. Death's domain is quite colorful, it is just that the colors are either white, dark purple and the different shades of black for those that could make the differences between them out.
Inside of Death's domain there is a garden, a stable, a bunch of bee hives and the house. One may ask why would Death own property? According to the law of observation – observing something can change the watched object, but can also change the observer. And Death had observed Live for the longest time in every universe. If one looked from the proper philosophical angle Death could even be considered a god. (Something that he begrudgingly accepted.) After all gods are finite and He proved that he didn`t enjoy the attempts on his metaphorical being. (There were multitude of people and beings thinking they could challenge Death, but the only being who has ever succeeded on defying the inevitable end of all beings – and that was He, himself.)
Inside this home there were multitude of rooms. Some used less than others, such as the bathroom and bedroom, the master of the dimension liked to stay at his study, even if He didn't read that much. Death had a record of all that has happened on the Disk, after all everything that dies has lived at some point. (Some Ephebians like to think that everything is born dying, just Death was taking his time visiting. Therefore, as the personification of a concept, Death was forced to put up with believes. After all, our believes shape us, and in some cases more literally than others.)
While sitting at his desk, looking at the objects he heard a small cough from next to him. After looking at his servant, Albert, Death pointed at the strange boxes on the desk. One was smaller, small enough to be held within one's hand, and white with a yellow diamond in the middle. The other object was looking like a box if one was to ignore the falling numbers on it's front, the object would be completely uninteresting.
"ALBERT, WHAT DO YOU THINK THESE THINGS ARE?"
"I don't think I should be the one knowing, what they are. Aren't they your creation?" Albert picked up the smaller object and sniffed it "smells a bit like the books in the library, sir." After smelling the bigger box, the servant stated "and this one smell like a Lifetimer."
Like every wizard that have ever lived, he was curious about the objects. Like every wizard that have lived long enough he was also very cautious. (Back in his day to get promoted you had to get your hands dirty. This tradition was put on hold because of multiple counts of broken arms, courtesy of Ridcully.)
After Albert's warry touch on the diamond, and quick subsequent pulling of a hand away. Death and his servant could see that on a blue background a text was writing itself, just as a life record would do, in the library they had a lot of those (one for everything that has lived, or in some cases un-lived).
"I GUESS I WILL HAVE TO MOVE ON WITH TIME. THE LIVING DO IT, I GUESS SO SHOULD I. WHICH IS STRANGE SINCE THE TIME MOVES ON AROUND THEM, AND THEY PRACTICLY ARE BEING CARIED BY IT."
"I don't like those objects master, they just feel… out of this world." As the ancient wizard said that, across the parasitic plane of existence, was heard a strange sound, reminding him of drums and cymbal. (The listening monks in the mountain Ramtops, if asked would describe the sound as Ba-dum-tss.)
"ALBERT I THINK YOU MIGHT BE ONTO SOMETHING WITH THAT ONE, AND I AM SURE IT IS NOT THE CARPET YOU ARE STANDING ON." After saying that the Reaper stood and started walking towards the door.
"And where are you going master?" the servant said this while going behind Him.
"THIS LOOKS LIKE I HAVE TO ASK MYSELF ABOUT THIS."
"Is this one of those thinking, meditation thingies they do nowadays?"
"I AM GOING TO TALK TO MYSELF ABOUT IT."
=0=
The first thing that Jaune felt was a blunt hit, on his body, which was strange, as he grunted and started collecting his bearings, the events that happened started replaying in the boy's mind.
"Did anybody see the number of the truck that hit me?" After saying that something about his current surroundings, struck a chord in the knight's mind, his surroundings sure as all hell didn't look like Vale near the bullhead ports. They looked like either a study or a library. After that he noticed that there were other people surrounding him.
The figures were shuffling and upon a closer inspection, they were all male and noticeably rotund, like possibly massive enough to give his Portly professor a run for his money. Or more of a roll for his money. While listening to the surrounding him men, wearing strange fantasy clothing, like they came out of a role playing game (somewhere across the multiverse a certain vampire came up with an incredible way to finance his next magical girl themed shopping spree). The LARP-ers spoke in a language that he had not heard till this moment in his life. Upon looking around himself he noticed a wooden bolt next to himself and after a quick causality thought came to the decision that the hit he felt must have been because of it, and noticing that one of the LARP-ers held the weapon that most likely shot it.
Sadly, due to his still dazed consciousness the huntsman in training didn't notice the rope that was brought out of somewhere. And upon his not very stable attempt to stand up, and subsequently fall. Next thing that Jaune noticed was that he was tied to a chair and the surrounding him were the men from earlier and a monkey, as the young man thought it he noticed a very angry look from the ape, that made him a bit concerned.
They were talking over each other and he while the huntsman in training couldn't understand them from the articulation done with their hands(mainly the pointing), a guess about him being the topic of discussion, was born in his head. Next and last thing he was going to feel for some time was an egg being smashed in his head, the egg wasn't the thing that knocked him out, it was the massive 'The guide to knowledge - New and Revised Pocket edition' (surprisingly the older unrevised edition was much thinner and pocketable) that nailed the egg into his noggin.
=0=
As his Colleagues discussed what to do with the youngster tied to the chair the Librarian noticed that the knight wannabe was coming to his senses yet again. The Primate responsible for the space currently preoccupied by so many people decided to take action in his own hands. And by the virtue of having 4 of them he worked deftly and efficiently, picking up the materials for the spell for quick knowage transfer.
After he was finished calculating his unga-bunga magic taking in mind only which part would be actually useful in this case and removing everything else from the formula nudged Ponder, a boy the Librarian saw as very smart, and eager to explore about magical applications and completely unable to take the boot out of his mouth to explain his findings. At least he brought back the books that were borrowed on time and through publishing his absolute in-eloquently written discoveries there were more books being created.
"Oook ook eek oot-eek!" Noticing that he captured the attention of the youngest professor. As Ponder was reading through his calculations, the primate noticed their captive being in consciousness and the strange, unexplainable need to hurt him. So he did under the pretext of the ritual. No extra strength used, no sir, nobody could even try to accuse him of using excessive force, if they knew what was good for them.
After another flash of white light, the boy was out like a light again. Truly nowadays youth was made different from when he was young. With the problem being solved, at least in his eyes, a choice was made, and a banana was peeled.
=O=
As the Archchancellor oversaw the ritual being completed, and the results of it. Said results were unconsciously sitting in a chair, still human looking and still undecipherable to most of his colleagues. A stray thought came to him, perhaps there was a thing that could be of use, if the magic was scuffed. And while he was not the biggest fan of that machine, perhaps it could be used for that, after all young Stibbons had said it could decipher things and had turned the Theory of Bill Nohr upside down with almost no input. Well there was another alternative to getting the information, but like most of his colleagues Mustrum Ridcully, disliked the ritual of AshkEnte, oh from his experience Death was a pleasant if dry being. That enjoyed some tea.
Upon some further deep pondering the older wizard looked at his youngest colleague.
"Is the Hex free right now Ponder? I just hope that it could make sense of this young man." After looking at how the glasses wearing professor was trying and failing to lift the blonde off the chair. The Archchancellor decided to take the matter into his own hands, and lifted the unconscious teen and start heading towards the High Energy Magic Building where a lot of projects were worked on for w-a-a-ay too long if you asked the head of the University. Whether those students slept, was a question he asked himself, as almost every time he visited, no matter the time of the day, or night, he would see some of them working on something. After some walking and carrying they arrived at the room. That thing got stranger and stranger with each of his visits.
"Stibbons?"
"Yes, Archchancellor?"
"Didn`t the hex use to write back the answers to the questions we give it?"
"Yes it used to Archchancellor. You see do you remember the Rock music fiasco?"
"The dean looked ridiculous with that hairstyle, he looked like a unicorn! But why are you bringing it up?"
"Well we thought about how to replicate sound waves. And Went about it to an extent in the reverse ways that hex is listening to us. It is quite Interesting if you think about it. We believe that sound is actually some small waves or vibrations…" Only to be interrupted by the older wizard.
"Incredible, mister Stibbons, so you are telling me that waves make sound! What a miraculous discovery! Listen lad you should go by the sea a bit; I am pretty sure waves have always made sound."
"I apologize, sir. What I meant is that the Hex can now communicate audibly through the speech boxes that are installed on the sides of it." Said the chastised lecturer, remembering that the older wizard had to be given the core information, without going into too much of those interesting little details.
"Hex, young Ponder here says that you can talk now, is that true?"
"+Affirmative, I can speak.+" said one very metallic voice, that had reverb, maybe a bit too much reverb. The voice was also dispassionate.
"In the past you were installed with a machine to Overwatch the boundary between realities, were you not?"
"+Affirmative, I have been overwatching for rifts in the boundaries.+"
"We have this lad, that suddenly appeared in the library, with sparks of magic bouncing around him. What can you tell us, is he from this dimension? Is he hostile? And most importantly, when is he going to explode into an indescribable mass of teeth, eyes and tentacles?"
"+While the specimen appears human enough, I can make the suggestion that he is not from this dimension. There was a minute rift, that indeed appear in the library in the last hour. I recommend waiting for it to wake up.+"
"Well, sir, we heard what the Hex said. So are we going to wait for the boy to wake up?" asked Stibbons.
"As much as I would like to go against the suggestion of the Hex, I will follow it. BUT, and this is a significant but, just because I will wait for him to be awake, doesn't mean that I can't take some precautions." Said the older man, while reaching for something inside his pocket.
=O=
When Jaune became conscious, two of the LARP-ers were still around him, but there was a significant change in the scenery. Instead of Rows and rows of books, the room he found himself in, had its walls covered in diagrams.
'This sure as hell doesn't look like downtown Vale.' Standing up, the knight of Beacon noticed he was no longer bound by ropes. And around him on the ground were chalk drawn lines in esoteric symbols, and geometrical shapes. His standing up didn't go unnoticed.
The older man came to the other side of the circle.
"Do you understand us young man?" the man asked. Somehow his voice was booming from all around him, making him feel small and somehow submissive. "You should tell us your name and which strange mind breaking dimension you came!" When the voice said it, the knight didn't know why, didn't know how, but felt compelled to answer as if it was what he must do, nothing else until he answered it.
"My name is Jaune Arc, coming from the world of Remnant."
"Ponder, quick check what kind of hellish dimension that is, and how do we counter act it!" said the voice under nose, only for another voice that sounded younger and a bit unsure to interrupt.
"We have no records of such a dimension, sir! He might just be a human!" getting a scoff and a new question towards himself.
"Answer me this then "Jaune", what is this remnant of yours like?" and again the feeling he must obey was there so he did, as the question did not seem malicious in its intents
"It's round."
"Go on."
"It's mainly water."
"Is it a flat disc carried by four giant elephants, on top of an even more gigantic turtle?"
"No, it is round." Only to hear what sounded like a
"There you have it, Stibbons! A round world, do you believe it! He obviously is an eldritch being from other dimension here to devour our reality! Now get me my crossbow. Hey creature, how did you got here?" the now aggressive sounding older voice said.
"I was going back to the academy, then a truck hit me, and while I was in the air, after the truck hit me, I was stuck by a lightning. Then I woke up with some wizard looking people making noise around me." What he said seemed to somehow explain it to the commanding presence.
"Is there a magic in your plane of existence, 'Jaune'? Do you wish for it?" small parts of the earlier aggression, had now dissipated, but the obeying presence was still there.
"Magic is for the fantasy books and fairy tales, and while aura and semblances exist. They are not magic." What he said seemed to answer the question of the older voice. The other voice, the one he heard was called Stibbons, seemed curious with his next order.
"Explain what aura and semblances are!" this confused the blonde knight, truly he didn't know what those were, when he got into Beacon, but it seemed to be an easily accessible knowage, on the CCT net. Perhaps these people were some from backwards place without CCT connection? But despite his musings he felt the need to obey.
"Aura is the manifestation of the soul. It grants minor healing to wounds and protects, like an invisible armor. Semblances are powers unique to the individual, that come from their aura." The explanation that he was given by Pyrrha was what he gave them, simple and to the point.
"How fascinating, so this is how a dimension without magic, touches the supernatural. Perhaps more details must be gathered! What semblances there are? Do you have a semblance? If yes what is it? If no why not?" wait was he talking to a younger version of Doctor Oobleck? And yet he had to obey, this strange urge was bothering him at this point.
"Super speed, the more you are hit the stronger you get, thunder might, polarity and others." Since he couldn't name more at the top of his blonde head, he stopped. Feeling as if it was his turn to ask questions, he decided to start with the first one in his mind. "Where am I? Who are you? Why can't I leave this circle?"
"You are in the Unseen University, in the city-state of Ankh-Morpork. As to who we are... OW!" had started talking the younger voice, until it owched as if in pain? He was not sure but the next voice he heard was the older one again.
"Nice try demon, what my younger colleague doesn't remember is that you must never give your name away to demons like you!" hearing that made Jaune groan, not only were they Larpers, they also believed him to be a demon, and didn't he name the other person already?
"Mr., uhh Stibbons was it? I think your older friend may have some screws loose." Only to seemingly shock both of them as the gasps were audible enough to hear them.
"Foul DEMON! Stibbons get me the crossbow. We are ending this experiment of yours right now!" seconds later a THUNK was heard and what seemed to be an arrow? No, no, crossbows were using bolts weren't they? It didn't matter. The bold hit his aura and fell to the ground with a clink.
"Can I exit now?" the irritation in his voice was noticeable, the knight felt like he had every right to be irritated. A bunch of crazies must have picked him up after the truck had hit him, and had just shot at him with a weapon. True the weapon was not dust powered and stopped by his soul protection, it was rude as hell. But nobody seemed to pay him attention. As a new voice was heard, he got some hope.
"Lord Vetinari. The Patrician of Ankh-Morpork asks the wizards to release their hostage. And to bring said person with them to meet him."
Well here it is. Kept you waiting, huh? Sorry about that shit happens around me and this story kinda escaped my mind. Had to leave my cat related job for an internship during the summer. Then the cat boss died recently. But the show goes on, and university semester started and I had to write a bunch of essays in pedagogics.
Also ending that scene was hard for me. And a new scene that I cant even begin to understand how to do is coming. I like Vetinari but I can't for the life of me write him.
Next update: I honestly don't know.
