Days went by and Baby seemed so secluded from everyone. She wouldn't eat she wouldn't sleep. She wouldn't talk to Johnny. She wouldn't even talk to her parents. She hardly ever got out of bed. Her best friend Hilary couldn't even break her out of it.

Johnny wasn't about to leave her alone in the state she was in. Everyone was having a hard time with Josie's death but no one was suffering as much as Baby. So he stayed with her day and night. He had to admit it was like he was staying by himself.

The toughest day came when it was time to bury Josie. Baby was in a trance all day. Everyone expected to see this grieving mother but on the outside Baby was cold but on the inside she was tortured.

At the graveside services is when emotions livened up in Baby. As they lowered Josie's body in the ground Baby had to let it go. She couldn't help herself. She stood there watching Josie's casket start to disappear. Baby fell to the ground crying screaming to God "Why? Why?"

Johnny rushed to her side and knelt down to hold her tightly to him. Baby was screaming over and over. "Bring her back Johnny! Bring her back……."

Baby had lost everything in her life that mattered. Josie was the light that always shined for Baby. She was supposed to be Josie's rock, her provider, her mother. It killed Baby that she couldn't save her little baby from death. In a way she blamed herself. What is her fault she got cancer? Was it something that could have happened at birth? All these thoughts run through Baby's head constantly.

She kept asking herself where does she go from here. Josie was her life. Baby's every thought and every movement revolved around Josie. Her life would be forever changed. Nothing could compare to the loss she was feeling for Josie.

Johnny on the other hand was handling it different than Baby. He had to be the one to keep her going even though she hardly ever spoke to him or even acknowledged he was there. He had to hold it together for Baby's sake no matter how shattered he was inside to lose something he never really had. He only had one weekend with his newly found daughter. All he kept thinking was how he wished Baby had of come to him when she found out she was pregnant.

But, he couldn't blame her or be mad at her…what would it prove? It would make things worse than what they already are.


"Here son I will help you clean up." Marge said as she grabbed some plates that were left over from supper.

"Oh I got it." Johnny told her.

"Don't be silly. Let me help." Marge told him as she joined him at the sink.

"Baby, still in the bed?" Johnny asked her.

"I am afraid so. She has been there ever since we got back from the funeral. I am worried about her Johnny. I went in to talk to her…I was just going to check on her and she told me to just leave her alone. This is the time she doesn't need to be alone." Marge tried to fight her tears. "She won't talk to me or Jake."

"She won't talk to me either. I don't even think she said a word to me yesterday." Johnny said as she worried so much about her. "I am like you I wish she would just let me be there for her. Ya know I need her there for me too."

"I know you do. This is affecting all of us. It is just so hard to come to terms with still. I don't see me ever understand why my little grandbaby was taken from me." Marge threw the dish towel down in the sink. "I mean it is so unfair!"

Jake heard Marge's last remark and joined her and Johnny in the kitchen. "Can I help you guys do anything?"

"No honey. You just sit down and relax." Marge told Jake wiping the ears from her eyes.

There was silence in the kitchen until the sound of Baby's door caught everyone's attention. She walked out with a blanket wrapped around her and walked thru the living room and headed for the balcony door.

"Sweetheart, are you hungry?" Jake asked her since she didn't eat with them earlier.

Baby never looked their way as she shook her head no. She slowly opened the door to the balcony and stepped outside.

"She worries me so much." Marge told them.

"She is headed for major depression if we can't get her to snap out of it." Jake said as he knew all the signs of depression.

"Johnny go talk to her." Marge asked him.

"Marge, I don't think she really wants to talk to me right now." Johnny said remembering how she acted to him in the hospital.

"Johnny, please go try." Marge looked at Johnny with such sadness in her eyes.

Johnny then couldn't tell Marge no. He would try his best to get Baby to open up to someone. He couldn't stand seeing her like this.

He opened the door to a motionless Baby. "Kind of cold out here isn't it?"

Baby didn't respond to him.

Johnny shut the door behind him and pulled a lounge chair up next to Baby's. "You can't ignore us all."

Baby sighed. "Johnny, just leave me alone."

"No! I won't. I don't like seeing you like this Baby. What can I do to get you to snap out of it?" Johnny said reaching for her hand for only Baby to pull it away.

Baby looked coldly at him. "Bring my daughter back."

"You know I would if I could. I wish with everything that I have I could do that for you, but I can't." Johnny hated to say that. "Open up to me, please."

Baby pulled her legs to her chest and propped her feet up on the edge of her chair while she wrapped the blanket tightly around her. "I have lost my world."

"I know you have." Johnny sighed in response.

"How can I let her go?" Baby asked him as she stared off into the night sky.

"You don't have to let her go. She will always be with you." Johnny explained. "She will never leave you."

"I don't want to hear that bullshit." Baby said to him harshly. "Everyone always tells the grieving, 'They will always be in your heart. They will always be with you. They are here even though you can't see them.' Please don't humor me Johnny."

"Baby I am not trying to humor you. I am just trying to make you understand." Johnny pulled her chair around to face his. "Now you listen to me. We are all grieving for Josie and we all need each other. No one should have to face this alone. Baby, your parents can hardly function. Don't you think you need to be there for them just like they are trying to be there for you?"

"Don't tell me what I am doing wrong." Baby shot back at him.

"That isn't what I am saying. Damn it Baby!" Johnny was trying his best no to get frustrated at her for being so hard headed. "All I am saying is let people in because we all need each other."

"We? Meaning you too?" Baby asked.

"Yes, Baby." He only wanted to make her understand. "I need you."

Baby turned her face from his sight. "You are making me sound like a selfish person."

Johnny reached for her face and turned it back to his. "Honey I know you are not selfish. You have never been one to be that way. You are just grieving."

"No Johnny I am dying." Baby looked emotionless at him. "Everyday without her is one more day I slowly die."

"Baby I know it isn't easy. I am hurting too." Johnny assured her.

"Not like me Johnny." Baby stood up from her lounge chair and walked to the railing. "No one knew Josie like I knew her. I was her mother. I keep asking myself if I done something or didn't do something that made her sick. I failed her."

Johnny walked next to her. "Don't you ever blame yourself."

Baby felt Johnny reach out for her but she backed away. "Why are you out here?"

"Because I am worried about you Baby. You are not yourself." He tried again to reach for her but she resisted once more.

"I am the way I am because I lost my life Johnny! Do you understand that!" Baby was getting a hateful tone with Johnny again.

"I lost my daughter too." Johnny came back at her.

"Don't you come out here and tell me you are grieving like I am." Baby pointed her finger at Johnny. "You weren't there through the breast feeding. You weren't there through colic. You weren't there for her first tooth. You weren't there for her first nightmare. You weren't here for anything. So I don't want to hear you are grieving."

"How can you throw all that up at me?" Johnny couldn't believe where she was going with all this. "There was a reason I wasn't there!"

"Look Johnny why don't you go home?" Baby told him as she walked back over to her chair. "Do us all a favor and just leave."

"No! I am not leaving you like this." Johnny told her.

"I don't want you here anymore Johnny. Just go home. Go back to you life in Philly. There is nothing here for you anymore." Baby stood up and faced him. "I have said I was sorry a hundred times for not telling you I was pregnant, but now its over. Thank you for doing what you done for Josie. Now just go home."

"How can you say nothing is here for me? Josie's memory is here. You are here." Johnny was still in shock over everything Baby was saying. "Baby you don't mean all this you are saying. Here let's go in and get you a bite to eat. You haven't ate all day."

Johnny reached for Baby's arm to get her to come inside. "Don't Johnny! I meant everything I just said."

"What about us?" Johnny asked Baby.

"It died with Josie." Baby looked at Johnny's hurtful face. "Now please go home."

"Baby!" Johnny couldn't stand it. He pulled her to him and held her tightly to him. He didn't understand what was taking place at the moment. All he wanted to do was be here for Baby.

Baby forced herself out of Johnny's arm. "Goodbye Johnny."

Johnny was left standing on the balcony with a very confused look on his face. Baby had said it over and over she wanted him to go. He knew she was hurting but deep down she must have meant it.

Johnny quietly walked inside only for Jake to stop him. "Son, is everything okay?"

"She wants me gone." Johnny said quietly.

"Johnny it might be better if you stay." Marge said walking up to him and Jake. "I mean you just had surgery."

"Some hurtful things were just said out there and I could tell she meant everything she said." Johnny said as he threw his clothes in a duffle bag. "Beside I am just sore now. I will be okay to get home."

"Baby?" Marge knocked on Baby's bedroom door but got on answer. "Baby open up."

"Marge, let her be." Jake told her.

Johnny had tears streaming down his face. "I say I am a strong man but, to tell you the truth losing your daughter and then losing the love of your life all at the same time. It kills you."

"Son, I am sorry. This is not like Baby at all." Jake told Johnny.

"Just please take care of her for me." Johnny said as he walked toward the door. "I can't bear the thought if she wasn't."

"Johnny please stay." Marge told him one more time. "She will come around."

"I can't." Johnny wiped the tears from his eyes. "I just want both of you to know that I have always loved her and I always will."

And with that Johnny shut the door behind him and headed home to Philadelphia.