Chapter 4

Sawyer gently leaned his head into her hand relishing the tenderness radiating from her fingers. He hadn't felt a true touch like that in a long, long time. He swallowed, but his mouth seemed to have gone dry even with all the rain around them. Then, at the same rate as she, he began to move closer to her, closing the gap that much faster, though it still was incredibly slow. He wanted to just lean into her, feel her soft, supple lips on his. He ached to hold her, for her to hold him in return. But his body refused to go any faster.

So as the rain poured down on him, soaking his shirt, his pants, his hair, he watched her come closer. He could see every detail of her face even through the darkness. He could see her soaked hair stuck to her neck and forehead and the sides of her face. He could see the sleek outline of her body with her shirt clinging to her wet skin. They were mere inches apart. Sawyer's heart raced. He suddenly felt that he could hold on no longer. His body finally obeyed his mind and he moved a little faster. And he realised that she did too. They were so close he could smell her softly scented hair.

Then their lips met. Only softly, like butterflies. But it was enough. And then suddenly it wasn't enough.

Using both of his hands, Sawyer reached up to her and placed his hands on both sides of her face. And pulled her away from him. Only an inch. He could still feel her breath on his face coming in short gasps. He looked into her eyes...searching. For what, he didn't know.

"Kate," he whispered, almost unable to speak. "Don't. If you don't mean it...then don't." He continued staring at her intensly, looking into her eyes, still searching. She looked back into his eyes with the same intensity. Sawyer felt like he was going to fall apart, break down with the pain. He wanted her so bad. But he had to know. And he wouldn't do it, no matter how much he wanted to, until he knew that she wanted him as much as he wanted her. Until he knew that she wasn't doing it out of pity. Until he knew she didn't feel she owed it to him for some reason.

He could see the flame in her eyes. The flame that made his heart skip a beat.

Without a word, and with the rain still pouring on the both of them, Kate lowered her eyes. She slowly pulled her hand down that had still been holding his cheek. It almost broke Sawyer. He wanted to pull her hand back up and say he didn't mean it, erase everything from the moment he pulled her away til now. As her hand fell from his face, he realised that it didn't just fall to her side, but came back up along with her other hand. She gently wrapped the fingers of both hands around his wrists, just below where his hands still held her face. And pulled them down.

Sawyers heart broke. The rain was deafening. He could feel his own heart beat slow.

And then, with growing disbelief he watched her as she released his wrists, raised her hands to his face once more, looked into his eyes, and pulled him toward her. Suddenly, she stopped, centimeters from his face and whispered, "I don't ever start anything I don't intend to finish. And I mean it." With a slight pause and a look that sent shivers up his spine, she pulled him into a true kiss.

His lips tingled with the force of it. He wrapped his arms around her, and his knees went down into the sand. And so they continued in their passion, kneeling in the sand, holding each other as tightly as possible, not caring that they were both wet and cold and shivering, they warmed each other. She opened her mouth slightly, hesitantly, asking if he was ready. He was. Sawyer's tongue met hers, and they breathed into one another. He couldn't get enough of her, and he knew he never would.

Just as they were beginning to each take down their walls and inhibitions, it stopped raining, and the sun broke through the clouds. Jolted back to where they were, they both broke the kiss at the same instant, each a bit embarassed. For the rain had hidden them, and now it was no more. Kate smiled a little and giggled. Sawyer broke into a grin that showed his dimples and sort of laughed too. Kate stopped giggling and just looked at Sawyer, both still holding the other. Out of habit, she glanced away in slight shyness, and caught her breath.

About 20 yards away, Jack had just come out of his tent and stood there, staring at her, with the most heartbreaking expression on his face that Kate had ever seen. And she realised that she still had her arms around Sawyer's neck, and he had his arms around her middle. She swallowed hard, and pulled her arms down, and pulled his away from her.

When she looked at Sawyer, she knew that he knew Jack was there. He clenched his teeth, and stood up. Turning, he walked away. And she sat there, in the sand, soaking wet, staring at Jack, and he at her. The pain she saw in his eyes when he turned away, made her want to run to him, but she just sat there, frozen. As he walked away from her she realised that she had lied...to both of them.