Title – Different Life
Author – Brittany McLean
Rated – PG -13
Disclaimer – I don't own the Harry Potter series, J.K. Rowling does.
Author Note's – IsabellaPaige Thank you for reviewing. You were my only reviewer! Wow…. Is this story sucking? Anyways you asked if she slit her wrists or not. She did not. She was imagining what it would be like if she really did. And thank you Dana-Maru1 for being my only reviewer also.
"Harry Dear, you really should come down stairs and eat. Remus and Tonks came to visit again." Molly Weasley said peaking her head into the room he and Ron shared. Ron gave up on him about a half hour ago. Harry just wouldn't leave the room. He felt so horrible. He felt as if this was his fault. So was Voldemort trying to get a new way to kill him? Kidnap his friends, the ones closest to him? Use this to get him to him. They were his bait.
"No thank you Mrs. Weasley…. I'm not hungry."
Molly raised her eyebrows, his voice was hollow. It was startling to hear it coming from him. She walked in and shut the door and came over to him sitting on the tip of the bed next to wear he was sitting. He was staring out of the window. Looking as the rain as it fell heavily from the sky.
"Harry dear, you really should come down and eat. I know you must be feeling horrible about Hermione, but we are doing all that we can to help her. School is starting soon also, and I can't help but feel that you may act worse there." She stroked his hair.
"Sweety, I know you are loosing so many people you love. But you have to remember that you have to keep going on. They still live in our hearts."
Harry did not talk. The pain was engulfing his heart now. He ignored these feelings for so long and now Mrs. Weasley had torn those secrets freeing them. It was like cutting a healing wound, drawing fresh blood. He tried not to let the tears fall. But it was such a hard thing to do.
He lost his parents, lost his mentor, lost his God Father, and now he is loosing his friends. He was afraid that if he opened his mouth he might cry. He felt so weak and foolish. But then when he thought about it, he had a right to act this way. It was his fault everyone was falling one by one.
"Everyone is worried about you. If you could just come downstairs to have something to eat, you can come straight back up here and eat."
"I…I don't want to be seen by anyone." His voice was thick.
"Well, how about I bring you a plate to eat. Would that make you feel better?" She said stroking his cheek again.
Harry nodded but that was all. He wasn't giving her a definite answer about eating some food. He didn't feel like doing anything. He just felt worthless. It was like the same when he thought he was being possessed by Voldemort, but only worse because people were actually dying because Voldemort was trying to get to HIM.
He turned away from her again felling guilty but knowing that she could be next too. Hell her husband was almost killed because of him. He watched her retreat from the window's reflection. He sighed out loud and lay back down. He couldn't stay here. It was too risky. What if more things went wrong? What if Voldemort found out where the headquarters was because of him? He's had the same exact thought two years ago, but Voldemort is stronger now….. Who's to say he can't get everything he want out of the members of the Order.
He had to leave. Sometime tonight he had to leave; he'll go back to the Dursley's or perhaps make his own living. He'll be turning 18 in July, if he could just hold on until then…. He got up from his bed and went straight to packing, being careful to watch the door for Mrs. Weasley's return.
Hermione's eyes shot open from a banging sound coming from outside of her door. She sat there quietly listening to whatever made the noise. Her heart began to beat. This was exactly how it happened when she was attacked in her own home. Could someone be after Snape? Of course they were. He killed Dumbledore. Was a Death eater, and most trusted of the dark lord. How could someone live like that? Have false things being said about you. It must torture him immensely. As much as she hated the man, she felt sorry for him.
The noise came again. It was closer this time. It sounded like someone was falling against the wall. Hermione did not know how big Snape's house is just only how big this room is. Was this his home that he always lived in? It didn't look very old, it looked like someone had just barely moved in. no dust or cobwebs that filled houses that were rarely used. Not unless Snape was very good at cleaning, or he had a house elf….
The door knob began to glow a bright orange color. She jumped off of the bed grabbing the nearest book, she ran to the door hiding right next to it holding the book up for protection.
The door opened…
"Urrgh!" A man shouted when the book collided with the back of his head.
"Oh my god! I'm so sorry!" Hermione cried dropping the book, letting it clutter the floor. She rushed over to the man. He was Snape.
He was holding his head, it couldn't have hurt that bad… could it? She was observing him for a few minutes until she realized he was bleeding. But not just from his forehead (she didn't even come close to hitting him that hard or near his forehead), but his arm had blood running down. She also noticed him limping.
"I just came in here to check on you and you attack me!" He hissed.
"What happened to you?" She had backed herself into a corner picking up her fallen book.
He looked at her and said nothing for a moment. After a very long pause he stood up and started limping towards the door.
"Well I can see that you are all right, I'll just be leaving." She stood in front of the door. "What do you think you are doing Miss Granger?"
"I don't want to be locked up in this room forever without knowing answers." Defiance was in her voice.
Snape was sneering at her and tried to push her out of the way, but he was just way too weak to fight with a strong and healthy girl right now. All he could do was glare at her helplessly and sit down on the bed.
"Well? What do you want to know?"
"Well…. For starters… how come I'm stuck with you and not some loony?" She was surprised she won.
"Because I know you the best. I taught you in school for six year. You are not here to be tortured, but you are not to be treated like a princess either, just as long as you are not harmed you are okay in the Dark Lord's eyes."
"It looks like you were tortured…"
His eyes flashed.
"Are you going to tell me about it?" She pressed some more.
"There's nothing to tell."
"You know there is. You're hurt badly. But you won't show it. Is this how it was when you were a Death Eater? Always coming home badly hurt?"
He was quiet but something made him talk because he answered, "Not always. Just when he has me do things that are almost impossible. Somehow though I always mange to get out alive."
Hermione sat down on the floor next to him, "Why did you decide to do this?"
"I felt it was right at that time."
"You may have chosen this life, but I didn't I want to go home." As soon as it was out of her mouth she regretted the words at the look on his face. His face did not move, but his eyes told it all. He was hurt.
"I'm… sorry."
"No I know, you're right, you did not choose this life. I did. I can't do anything right now, not until I find out more about what he wants with you."
"What did he have you do?" She pointed to his wounds.
"…… He …. He had me kill a family who's father and husband works in the ministry… I tried to not participate but only be a tagalong, but it was just too hard. If I didn't do it, they would know that I am a fake. They had fun killing the three little girls, placing the crucious curse on them and then the killing curse. They had seen that I had not done away with anyone. So they threw the wife at me and told me to get rid of her, silence her screaming. I did it one fluid moment, not giving her a chance to feel any pain from the crucious curse. The ministry finally showed up. It was a big fight, but two of us got away. That's how I got the cuts and bruises, and I tripped on a rock coming back. I had no time to mend my leg; I had to get back right away. So now you know what kind of monster I am."
"I… didn't know…. You're not a monster. Maybe in the beginning you were, but you somehow became human again. It's like being reborn again."
He turned to look at her; this was a curious girl indeed. Always has been ever since she laid a foot in his classroom. How could a girl, clever then even himself at that age, be well absolutely brilliant when she grew up with muggle parents.
She grew up magnificently. Her teeth were straight, no longer a buck toothed know-it-all, but a smart intelligent beautiful creature. Her hair was a little past her shoulders, falling down in curly waves. It wasn't frizzy at all actually. Her cinnamon eyes seemed to glow more that she is older. But it seemed that they were always asking questions even when she's not speaking.
Her forehead was starting to crease in confusion from him staring at her.
He noticed he was staring and looked away but brought his eyes back to her looking her dead in the eyes, "I'm so sorry for how things turned out for you."
She looked away from him her lips were parted slightly and her face was paling.
He put his hand on her shoulder looking at her reaction.
"I hoped to become a professor at Hogwarts…"
"Maybe… once the war is over… you can."
"But will I be alive?"
"I know what you're thinking… that possible nobody will survive from this."
She looked up, tears forming around her eyes, "Harry is just a kid. Not even an adult yet. There is no way he can defeat Lord Voldemort at full power, sure he's done amazing things in his youth…. But face to face with him, full power… I just don't know. And it scares me to know that…. Either one has to go…"
"I'm not going to lie and say that Harry will win for sure, because you're right. Harry is just a kid. Big headed at times… just like his dad. But he has Lily in him, perhaps he'll think himself out. Maybe he can do it, who knows. All we can do is hope."
"I wish things could be as they were before… before all of this happened."
"It will never be the same." He stood up and with one wave of his wand he mended his leg.
He headed towards the door but hissed and grasped his arm just as he reached for the handle.
Hermione stood up and rushed to him, "Are you alright?"
"I have to go," He looked at her, "I'm being summoned again."
"Again? Is this what he has you do? Run around day and night running…. Errands!"
"If that is what you want to call them."
"This is ludicrous!" She stomped away from him and sat dramatically on the bed, "What a life this is…" She said quietly.
"I will be back soon, I must go now. Stay out of trouble Hermione. I mean it." He shut the door and without another word, he was gone.
