Part 10

The mug shook in his grip, and it took all his concentration to lower it back down so it rested on his thigh. Taking some deep breaths, Seamus Harper had never felt weaker, but it had only been roughly ten hours since the events on the Maru and he knew it would take longer to completely recover.

"Hey," Beka brightly spoke up, as she entered med deck simply pleased to see that Harper was awake. "What are you doing?"

"Not much, literally," Harper answered with his voice still off key from the illness. His appearance suggested the virus was still very much in his system; his eyes were red rimmed and his skin still clammy.

Beka looked at him with some concern, seeing that he was sat cross legged on one of the med beds hunch forward slightly with a blanket wrapped around him. His arms rested on his thighs, and she could see he was finding it hard to move. "Why aren't you sleeping?"

"All sleeped out, least for the moment, I guess the events of today still need to clear my system so I can properly rest," Harper answered, looking intently at the mug he held. "Trance had to help me to sit up, but it's nice to be upright again," he managed a smile.

"Are you going to drink that, it's getting cold," Beka observed the mug still in Harper's hand and guessed Trance must have made the drink for him before she had left him to rest.

"Trying," Harper looked slightly embarrassed now. "Every time I lift the mug up my arm starts to shake, can you believe that?" Harper asked, partly with a laugh but he appeared shamed by how little energy he had.

"Here, let me help," Beka immediately offered and steadied Harper's hand as he once again lifted the mug to his mouth, and this time was able to take a few gulps before putting it down again.

"Thanks," Harper offered.

"Your strength will return soon," Beka assured him.

"I know, people keep saying that," Harper answered looking exhausted, but also with frustration in his tone. "Do you know if my pride ever will?" he then added, and Beka sensed that he was only partly joking.

"Harper, you have nothing to be ashamed about, you did great," Beka stressed and put her hand on his arm for comfort.

"I let them just feed that crap into my port," Harper said with despair. "I was almost the reason for losing Andromeda, losing Rommie."

"Harper, don't torture yourself, not now that you need to work twice as hard to get that damn virus out of your system, you need to stay calm, relaxed and rested, remember?" Beka stated.

"I guess it was a good thing I was already infected with this stupid virus, it played its part today in helping me stop the other virus," Harper managed a smile, letting the virus take him over had prevented the mechanical virus taking over Rommie.

"That's more like it, think positively," Beka agreed with a smile. "Harper, trust me, you did nothing wrong, if anything allowing yourself to become as sick as you did normally causes me to hit you, but I'll let you off this time for playing the hero," Beka stated with a grin.

Harper looked at Beka for a moment before responding. "I kissed you, that was wrong," he offered then avoiding her gaze.

"You did nothing wrong," Beka repeated, and gently squeezed his arm.

"Seriously? No bash around the head, no fat lip for even that?" Harper checked unsure, looking surprised.

"I needed that, at that moment," Beka struggled to explain. "Besides it was just a kiss, and it wasn't even that, more a peck, you just needed to get my attention and you did."

"Right," Harper agreed quickly. "And it worked," he added with a nervous laugh.

"Yeah," Beka looked away, and then back at Harper. "Look, Seamus, we do need to talk."

"So the kiss was wrong?" Harper was confused suddenly.

"No, already established that, let's move on," Beka quickly spoke. "Trance is worried; she just came to see me."

"About me?" Harper checked, and saw Beka agree. "Beka, she's always worried about me; that's her charm and I did almost kill myself again today," he grinned.

Beka briefly smiled but it was quickly lost. "She told me that you keep pushing her away when she tries to examine you," Beka cautiously spoke.

"I don't like her prodding and poking, she knows that," Harper returned defensively.

"She told me you flinched earlier, when she helped you sit up," Beka ventured, and she saw the flash of fear in Harper's eyes as he avoided her gaze suddenly. "Her hand brushed your back, but you refuse to let her see why it caused the reaction it did, to the point you snapped at her, is this true?"

Harper's breathing had steadily increased. "I thought you wanted me to remain calm and relaxed, why are you cross examining me like this?" Harper stressed.

"I do want you to remain calm, but I also want you to remain well, and if nothing else Harper you need to change out of those clothes you've been wearing all day. You've been perspiring heavily since the illness took hold again, and you need to freshen up to ensure you remain as healthy as possible," Beka insisted. "Why wouldn't you change into the med deck gowns, or take a quick shower when Trance requested it?" Beka asked, but Harper was showing no sign of answering. "Harper you'll feel better for it, a nice hot shower and a change of clothes, something more comfortable like the med gowns, come on, I know it's no fun being sick so why make it worse?"

"Hate those med clothes, ever since the Magog," Harper simply said and it was clear he hoped the mention of Magog would kill the conversation, but Beka wasn't going to drop it.

"Trance offered to help you shower and you refused?" Beka lightly teased to check Harper's reaction, and when he didn't offer an answer, not even a lewd comment, and continued to avoid her gaze she knew something was wrong. "Harper, did Tyrone strike you again?" Beka finally reached her point.

Harper tried a couple of times to talk, but both times he stopped short of saying anything.

"Can I check?" Beka asked.

"I'm tired, I just want to sleep now," Harper stated quietly, and with annoyance but his distraction caused the mug to fall from his grasp and it shattered on the deck. "Damn!" Harper snapped with frustration.

"Ignore it, it's nothing," Beka quickly assured him, and then saw that Harper's attempts to return to a lying down position was causing him to sway dangerously, and she feared he'd be the next to topple from the med bed. "Let me help you," she stressed and moved around to take some of his weight so he could lie down again.

"Ow!" Harper suddenly exclaimed, and his body jerked from her hold on instinct, and Beka realised she had accidentally put a hand on his back for support.

"Harper, I'm sorry, I didn't mean," Beka spluttered before she realised that Harper gave no other reaction, as he settled down to lie on his side.

"It hurts," Harper then spoke quietly in pain, his voice partly muffled by the pillow that he now pressed his face into, as he moved to lie on his front bringing his hands up around his head, as if trying to hide his face from her.

"Can I?" Beka asked with caution, and Harper only gave the briefest of nods that she could just about see with his head covered by his hands now, and face down in the pillow. "Andromeda, privacy mode and lock the med deck out until further notice," Beka then ordered, and she heard two beeps to signal that Andromeda had complied. "We don't need an audience, right, Seamus?" she spoke, hoping it would encourage him to be more co-operative with her.

"Thanks," Harper simply responded into the pillow.

Beka felt nervous now, as Harper's back almost taunted her. He was lying down in front of her unmoving, face down with his back to her, and she had his permission to look but now she didn't want to, just like the first time this had happened. "Tell me what he did," Beka asked, almost as a delaying tactic.

"Humiliated me, again," Harper mumbled.

She hated hearing Harper putting himself down, and she frowned as her hand absently stroked the back of his head in comfort. "Tyrone will not get away with this, not this time."

Beka felt Harper flinch as she cautiously took hold of the hem of his shirt, and gently lifted it away from him. He cried out in pain when she tried to move it some more, and Beka instantly let the shirt go. "I can't do this," Beka panicked, and stepped back.

"It's the shirt," Harper moved slightly. "It's stuck."

"Aw man," Beka let out a sigh. "I need to call Trance, she'll know what to do."

"No," Harper stressed, and attempted to push himself up. "Help me," he asked after a moment and Beka was quickly by his side. "I'll take that shower now."

"But we can't remove your shirt," Beka responded.

"It has to come off somehow, so you can help me and at the same time I can take that shower you were telling me I had to take," Harper considered as Beka helped him to sit up.

"I'm not showering with you, Harper," Beka tried not to grin.

"I'll be fully clothed, at least at first," Harper offered, a trace of his boyish charm returning through the fever.

"You can barely stand, Seamus, I think you should try the bath," Beka considered. "Stay here, I'll start the water running," she offered.

Harper wearily watched Beka disappear towards the med deck bathroom. Inside he felt anger, humiliation and weakness. The fever was distracting and annoying him, his throat felt on fire, and his lungs seemed heavy. The headache was secondary but it was starting to bug him too, as he could only wait so Beka could then help him walk a distance he should be able to cover with no problem. To try and beat his own weakened body, Harper shifted slightly and ignored the nausea it caused him as he let his body drop from the bed, hoping his legs would support him. Clinging to the bed, Harper momentarily stumbled against the edge of the bed but remained upright, and focused on the entrance to the clean up area where Beka had disappeared to, in order to run his bath.

Breathing heavily, Harper gently pushed himself away from the bed and tried to find his balance. For a moment he stood unaided, and swayed until he felt confident to step forward. His legs felt like jello, and his feet like lead weights as he attempted to move, but once he got into the swing of it Harper found it easier to walk and he made up some ground before Beka emerged to find him half way across the room.

"Harper!" Beka spoke with shock seeing his actions, and it distracted Harper enough to suddenly lose his balance, and he stumbled to the deck. "What are you doing?"

"Walking," Harper snapped. "At least trying to, I was doing fine," he protested, as Beka helped him back up to his feet and he ignored the pain it caused him.

"You need to relax, no pressure, no stress," Beka reminded him. "Trying to walk and do anything strenuous is not allowed until you are better, ok?"

"Yes mom," Harper tiredly returned, and let Beka take his weight as she walked with him the rest of the way. "This is crap, you know that?"

"I know," Beka agreed. "Once this virus calms down again, things will return to normal, you just have to be patient."

Beka helped Harper to the edge of the bath, and she realised that the short distance they had covered had more or less taken all of Harper's energy reserves. It pained her to see him so weak, hearing the fever affecting his voice and lungs, and she knew that the gasps of pain Harper omitted were now due to his back, and she feared the damage she would eventually see there.

"Remove what you feel most comfortable removing," Beka simply said as she tested that the water was still a comfortable temperature.

"I'm fine like this," Harper answered, still wearing his combats and socks, plus the t-shirt.

Beka looked at him for a moment, she always liked it when Harper went shy on her and she smiled. "You don't need the socks," Beka encouraged and she moved to his feet and removed them, and he didn't stop her.

"Don't really need to keep the combats on either," Harper almost mumbled.

Beka decided to be head strong and agreed confidently, knowing Harper didn't need her sarcastic or teasing comments. With some effort Harper removed them, and Beka was relieved to find he was at least wearing underwear, she had momentarily panicked that he didn't.

"Ready?" Beka asked, seeing Harper now in only his shirt and boxers. Harper nodded his head, and she assisted him as he gingerly moved into the warm water and sat down. "Are you ok?" Beka asked, seeing him tense up slightly.

Harper nodded his head without word, and found that the fever didn't like the water it seemed, as Harper suffered a sudden coughing fit and then began to shiver. Beka leaned over and filled the tub with some more hot water to try and compensate. Eventually, Harper calmed down enough and his body stopped shaking, and his breathing became even again.

"It's good," Harper confirmed finally. "Stings," Harper then grimaced as he shifted in the water.

"I didn't add any soap," Beka frowned and waited until Harper settled. "Shall we give it a try?" she asked, seeing he was now immersed in the water and Harper only nodded his head tiredly.

Beka didn't want to do this, and she wished that Harper had let her call for Trance but he had wanted her to do this, and she had to remember that as he clung to her arm a few minutes later as she slowly removed the shirt. Never before had she purposely hurt Harper, but right now he was in a large amount of pain and slowly she began to see why as more and more of his back was revealed. She saw the red raw marks covering his lower back and already knew the upper part would be similar. The skin had been broken along most of the lines, and there were signs of infection most probably from contact with his shirt.

"Take a break," Beka encouraged, as she gently laid Harper back into the water and could only watch as he flinched. Unable to talk, instead his eyes were closed and his breathing heavy.

After a few moments Harper took a deep breath. "Sorry," he simply said.

"What for?" Beka asked.

"Making you do this," Harper offered weakly, his eyes still closed.

"It has to be done."

Harper took a few more breaths, and whilst still immersed in the water he lifted his shirt and before Beka could stop him he swiftly pulled it up followed by a loud scream of pain until he fell under the water.

"Harper!" Beka exclaimed with horror at what she'd just seen and her hands dived under the water to pull him up again.

When he emerged he was coughing and his face remained screwed up in pain.

"I'm getting, Trance," Beka decided but Harper gripped her hand, stopping her.

"It's cool," Harper stated, as he relaxed slightly.

"You're a maniac, you know that?" Beka stressed with frustration and relief.

Harper only had enough energy to offer a smirk, as he slowly began to drift off to sleep.

"Oh no you don't!" Beka was quick to react, come on get out of there before you go to sleep. Beka was already pulling Harper up, and he partly fell onto her as she dragged him from the tub. She reached out for the towels and quickly tried to wrap Harper up in them.

"Not the back!" Harper was awake enough to remind her not to wrap the towel around him, but already she felt him shivering again as the illness quickly reappeared.

Beka felt completely out of her element, as she hastily tried to dry what she could of Harper whilst he was leaning heavily against her for support. Finally she laid some of the towels on the floor and Harper practically fell to his knees and quickly curled up.

With a gasp, Beka finally took in the mess that was his back. "We have to let Trance look at those injuries," she stated flatly, they looked worse then before.

Harper didn't respond, and instead fussed over drying his hair lazily as he lay on the floor now. Beka didn't push, knowing Harper had heard her so instead she retrieved a set of clean med gowns.

"Put these on, they shouldn't aggravate your back," Beka instructed, putting the clothes next to Harper. "And make sure you completely dry yourself before you do," she added, and left the bathroom to find some space for herself.

She leant against the wall, and slowly found herself sliding down to the floor as he hands reached up to hold her head. Letting out a breath she hadn't realised she was holding, Beka couldn't believe that Tyrone had hurt Harper again in the manner he had. She wanted to go to the brig and see how he'd like what he'd done to Harper done to himself, but a small part of her considered that a man like that would probably enjoy it, she would never stoop to his level.

"Beka."

Beka snapped back to alert on hearing Harper's weak voice, and she quickly got to her feet and returned to the bathroom with haste.

"I'm here," Beka stated on returning, and found Harper had managed to put on the pants, remembering to remove his wet boxers but he was now sprawled on his front, resting on the towels, the top remained by his side.

"Tired," Harper whimpered in defeat.

Beka moved to his side, and she brushed his drying hair from his face seeing just a shadow of the man she knew. The virus had reduced him to nothing but a poor sap of a being, and Tyrone had crushed everything else.

"Would kill for a back massage," Harper then spoke, with an ironic tone.

"Sure, that would help right now," Beka played along sarcastically. "But maybe not right now," she considered taking in the sight of his mangled back one more time.

"Sorry I kissed you."

"Haven't we already discussed this?" Beka questioned softly.

"It's playing on my mind," Harper admitted.

"Just concentrate on getting better, I hate seeing you ill like this, you know that," Beka answered truthfully.

"For you, I'll do my best," Harper offered, a brief smile following.

"Are you ready to move to a more comfortable position?" Beka asked, seeing how tired he looked now, if it was possible to look more exhausted than exhausted.

"You mean by your side in your bed?" Harper queried, and then smirked. "Sorry, again," he quickly offered. "It's really playing on my mind, I shouldn't have done it, can't think straight, shutting up," he then babbled.

"Hey, if that's what's keeping you going," Beka smiled, knowing Harper was trying to keep both their spirits up, and it a way she found it comforting that he was finding humour in the situation.

Beka gently pulled him up to his feet, taking the top of his med clothes that he had so far failed to put on with her, as she slowly walked him back to the main medical area. With some effort, Harper made it back up onto the bed and quickly settled under the blankets.

"You sure you don't want to put this on?" Beka checked, holding the top. Harper shook his head in reply. "When Trance comes in she'll see your back, is that ok?"

"Yeah," Harper sleepily replied. "Thanks for your help," Harper offered.

Beka took comfort in his words, and without warning she moved forward and lightly kissed his lips. Harper snapped his eyes open in response and just stared at her.

"We're even again," Beka explained, before smiling and moving away, removing the lock on med deck and leaving Harper to just stare at her before sleep finally made his eyelids heavy, and he fell into a deep sleep. Beka stopped at the exit, where Trance was quickly by her side once the doors opened.

"He's all yours, cleaned, scrubbed up and ready for you to examine him now," Beka simply said, then with a secret smile and no further words she left Trance to simply look at Harper and see what seemed to be a matching smile on his face.

The end