Summary:
Steven and Julia West have a problem. Annabelle West, the hated Matriarch of the West family has come to visit and doesn't seem to be leaving any time soon. However, they have a secret weapon. And that secret weapon has friends.
Authors Note:
So! This one - which was actually written ages ago but never published - is based on a Malcolm In The Middle episode - with a sprinkling of a few lines from Archer. In the episode, Lois's mother, a horrible racist, won't leave and Lois, her eldest son Francis and Francis's wife come up with a plan to get rid of her by using her biggest fear; Black people.
So that's the basis, but of course, you don't need to have seen the episode or even the show to understand. I was apprehensive of posting this, because I don't like how it has Jade in a kind of 'White Saviour' role (not really but a teeny bit), but I feel that Tori, Robbie, Andre and even Beck wouldn't feel comfortable confronting an old woman about it, especially if it was Jade's Grandma. And Jade is the only one of the group (other than Trina) who would backtalk and verbally destroy an old lady.
Plus, I also just love some Papa West/Jade interactions because I find them comedy gold.
Also, Sinjin is creepy AF in this one. For like, two lines.
Two people sat in the small breakfast nook of their large kitchen, holding mugs of coffee and, to be honest, looking like they were having a clandestine meeting, not a husband and wife sitting in their own kitchen.
"We have to do something. I can't stand it anymore." The woman said, her eyes wide as her fingers tightened on the white ceramic cup in her hand. "I don't want to be scared in my own house."
"I've tried! I've begged, pleaded...I've even threatened the police but she knew I was lying." The male, a man around 20 years older than the woman, replied, bowing his head. "She's...she's just too powerful."
"Do you think we need to call in...her?"
The male looked up; eyes bright with hope. "Of course! You're a genius. If anyone can get rid of that vile wench, then it'd be her." He paused, looking at his expensive watch. "It's almost lunch time. We can go and pick her up for lunch then speak with her about it."
"Shouldn't we call first?"
"No. This way, she can't ignore our calls and hide away from us." He stood up, holding out a hand to the younger woman, who followed his lead.
Jade West groaned as she sat down at the usual table, the last one to arrive out of her 'gang'. Within a few moments, Beck Oliver - boyfriend of 3 years - had taken her hand in his and was absentmindedly using one finger to trace patterns on her palm, along with trailing them up and down her long, thin fingers.
"Something wrong?" Andre asked in reply to the groan, although he didn't look up from his keyboard.
"Sinjin." Jade ground out. "He's been following me more than normal today, the little freak. I found him crouched outside the bathroom stall I was in when I went to pee after class." Her lip curled and she shook her head.
"He was what?!" Tori exclaimed, eyes wide, as the rest of the group stared at Jade in shock - even Andre looked up from his keyboard.
"You gotta talk to Lane about him." Beck stated, a frown on his pretty face. He knew that Sinjin was a bit of a stalker, but spying while she used the bathroom?! It was going way too far.
"I've tried. But it's always the same 'Sinjin just doesn't know how to show his feelings appropriately'." She shook her head. "Whatever. I hung him up by his shirt on the back of the stall door. He's not getting down anytime soon. Maybe that'll show him not to spy."
The whole group shook their head, although Andre and Beck's eyes met over the table and came to a silent 'Bro Agreement'. They'd be having words with Sinjin later, and keeping an eye on him.
"Hey guuuuuuuys!" The shrill voice of Trina Vega interrupted what was beginning to be a peaceful lunch, now Jade had calmed down slightly. "Have you seen the silver fox who just arrived? He's a total hottie. Mmm, I have a thing for older men. I bet he's a talent scout!" She giggled, flipping her hair. "Oh! He's coming over here! None of you ruin this for me!" She snapped, eyes fixed on the approaching man.
Jade rolled her eyes but, in the movement spotted the person Trina was talking about. She quickly cut into Trina's more and more risqué ramblings about what she would do to the man. "Oh my God Trina shut up! That's disgusting!" Her face did genuinely have a revolted look on it. "That's my Dad you fucking creep! Shoo!" She lifted up her sports cap water bottle and scooshed it directly at the older Vega's face. "Shoo!" With the threat of more water being thrown at her, Trina quickly scampered off, screaming about her make up being ruined. "Andre..."
"I'm gone." He stated in reply, without Jade even having to finish the question, jumping to his feet with his bag and picking up his keyboard. "Text me when it's safe to come back."
"Why is Andre leaving...?" Tori asked, looking at Jade with a curious expression. "Because of your dad?"
"Jade's dad hates me. And is obsessed with Jade dating Andre instead, for some reason." Beck replied with a roll of his eyes because, really? He was hated because he was an actor. Andre was a musician. There wasn't a huge difference in how 'artistic' they were.
"He's just not happy I'm not dating Ryder Daniels. If I was dating Andre, he'd want me to date Beck instead. Unless I'm married, barefoot and pregnant as Mrs Ryder Daniels, he's not going to be happy with me." Jade snarled, stabbing at her salad angrily.
"Ryder is the son of the other named partner at Jade's dad's law firm - West & Daniels." Beck explained to Tori, knowing Jade wouldn't want too. "Jade's dad and Ryders dad have been best friends since college or something. It's their dream to become genuine family via marriage or something."
"Well, let's see what he wants today." Jade's lip curled as Mr West came to a stop in front of the table. "What?"
"Is that any way to speak to your father, Jade?" Mr West replied, shaking his head disappointedly. "Catrina. Robert. Victoria...Beck." The tone he used to greet his daughter's boyfriend was a mix of displeasure and long-suffering. He seemed to look around a little. "Where's Andre? You know, if you dated him-"
"What do you want Dad? I mean, other than to take far too much of an interest in who I'm dating, which is just creepy. It's like you have a weird reverse Electra-complex, which will no doubt put me in therapy for the rest of my life, so thank God you're rich enough to pay for that." Mr West rolled his eyes distastefully, his lip curling at the innuendo, and Tori blinked, mouthing 'Electra Complex?' to herself, confused. "Also? I'm at school, in case you couldn't tell." She snapped back, crossing her arms.
"Julia and I are taking you out to lunch. We need to speak with you-"
"No."
"Jade Francesca West-"
"Noooooope."
"What do you want?" This was said with a resigned sigh, as if expecting it.
"Up the limit on my card." She fired back instantly, and it became clear to Tori (the only one who hadn't seen any interactions between Jade and her dad, other than at the end of Well Wishes) that this was a fairly normal interaction what with how quickly she fired back her answer, and the others giving small smiles, Beck rolling his eyes.
"To what?"
"Eight."
"Why would you-...you know what? Fine. Eight. I'll call the bank after lunch."
"OK then." With a put-upon sigh, Jade stood up and grabbed her bag, turning to Beck and bending over to give him a long, intense kiss which he returned whole heartedly, standing up and pulling her to him. Which was really inappropriate, Tori thought, considering Jade's dad was right there and looking on in disgust.
"Any time today, Jade."
With a final kiss, Jade pulled away from Beck and rolled her eyes. "Whatever Dad. Let's go."
"You're kidding me. You drag me to lunch because...of Grandma?" Jade asked in confusion as they sat at Nozu.
"You have to get rid of her Jade! I can't handle it anymore!" Julia exclaimed, reaching across and grasping Jade's hand. Which must have meant she really was desperate - Julia normally avoided touching Jade, knowing her aversion to it. "Every little thing is wrong or dusty or a mess and I... I can't take it."
"What am I meant to do about it?" Jade asked quizzically, looking from her father to her step mother.
"Every monster has their weakness Jade. Dracula has the cross, Frankenstein's Monster had fire... we need you to help find her weakness and exploit it."
Jade looked from one to the other, meeting Julia's dark brown for eyes and her fathers blue-grey eyes, that matched her own (Beck often called them stormy blue, then waxed poetically about how something the colour of a storm could be so pretty. She normally cut off his sappy ramblings with a hard kiss) blinking. "Seriously. She's a 82 year old, 5'2, 90 pound woman. Just kick her out."
"Please Jade! I can't handle it, I just...she's so mean. I've never been called so many variations of 'Gold Digging Slut'." Julia looked about 5 seconds away from bursting into tears.
Instead, she turned to her father. She had a solid idea in mind, because she knew (and hated) her grandma and knew her biggest fear too. Her Grandma was an awful woman. "If I do this...you'll let me get a new tattoo."
Her father grimaced and shifted. "Jade is that-"
"Let her get the tattoo Steve! She'll find a way to get it anyway and at least this way you'll know it's not some illegal back alley deal!" Julia exclaimed, her voice near hysterical. Damn, Grandma must be making her life a living hell. Jade thought.
Stephen sighed but, under the pleading gaze of his young wife and his only child's piercing glare he nodded. "It has to be somewhere easily covered up. No more on your arms."
Jade gave a smirk - she already knew exactly where she wanted the tattoo, and what of. "Fine. I'll do it." She nodded then looked at her dad. "But you'll have to pretend to like Beck for this to work, if you're around at the time."
"Fine."
"And you're not allowed to get pissy with me if I upset her too much. I want free reign on how to get rid of her."
"So long as it's not illegal, fine."
Jade was back a little late from lunch but since it was a study period, it didn't matter too much. The great thing about Hollywood Arts was that because of the 'Arts' part of the curriculum, students didn't have an assigned study area. They could go wherever they wanted so long as they were on school grounds, providing they weren't disrupting classes or doing anything against the rules. Which was how she knew she'd find Beck, Andre, Robbie and Tori in the Black Box Theatre, allegedly going over a script but since none of them had any plays or shows together right now, it was really just an excuse to extend their lunch break. Cat was in a class (the only one of them who's study period was a different day this semester) but that suited Jade well enough. She loved the girl to bits but she wasn't needed for her plan to work.
"You're all coming to my dads house tomorrow." She stated bluntly as she strolled into the theatre and found the group sitting on chairs they'd put in a rough circle, taking her seat on Beck's lap as was her custom, his arms coming around her waist and one hand landing on her upper thigh, as was his custom.
"Uh...nooooooo..." Tori replied with her eyebrows raised so high they almost disappeared into her hairline. "We're going to that carnival thing tomorrow, remember?"
"Ugh fine. If you all come to my house in the morning, I'll pay for everything at the carnival after."
"Everything?" Robbie perked up and tilted his head.
"God, yes." She threw her hands in the air exasperatedly. "Everything. Entrance, rides, games, food, souvenirs, the lot of it. All on me."
"Why?" Beck asked carefully, extending the word a little in his suspicion.
Jade bit her lip and then sighed, getting up from her boyfriend's lap so she could sit down in one of the spare seats and look at them all. "OK. So, my Grandma is at my dad's at the moment. She won't leave and is making their life a living hell. So, they've asked me for help. Now, normally I'd be happy to sit and watch, maybe with popcorn or something. But, I'm agreeing to this because if I do, my Dad'll let me get that tattoo I've been wanting."
Beck perked up a little at that. He knew all about the tattoo she was wanting, and more importantly, where she wanted it. "Seriously? On your lower back too?"
Jade grinned a little. "Yeah. So long as it's somewhere easily covered up, he'll sign for it." She knew he was excited by the placement of the latest tattoo. She had told him a few months back what she had wanted and, after a few seconds of his brain apparently 404'ing as he imagined it, he was all too eager for her to get it. And OK; she knew the common name for the location she wanted the tattoo; 'Tramp Stamp', but she had always liked the idea of the Death's-head Moth from Silence of the Lambs tattooed on her lower back, right above the little divots above her tailbone. And that night she found out Beck maybe had a little kink for tramp stamps that even he was unaware of.
"What does your Grandma have to do with us coming over tomorrow?" Andre asked skeptically.
Jade let out a huff of air and shook her hair out of her face. "Well, I have this idea..." She caught the worried look on Tori's face and rolled her eyes. Unfortunately, this was one time that Tori being around would be really beneficial. "Nothing illegal, God. You see..." She sighed again. "My Grandma is...well, she's a horrible bigot." She shrugged, disgust on her face. Man, she really hated her Grandma. "She's terrified of well... black people, especially." She sent Andre an apologetic glance as his eyebrows raised. "And Latin-Americans..." Here a glance was given to Tori. "And Indians..." Beck now got a look. "And well, she isn't really a fan of Jewish people either." This last look was directed at Robbie. "She's literally the worst old lady you will ever meet. Unless you're a straight white Christian - she'll hate you. And now she won't leave my Dads house and they're starting to lose it. My Dad's tie today was just a standard knot. He never leaves the house without it being a double Windsor, at the very least!" If Andre wasn't trying to wrap his head around what she had just told them, no doubt he would have mouthed 'Crazy rich white people' to the others. Honestly, who got so worked up over a tieknot of all things.
"She...She can't be that bad..." Tori said with wide eyes.
"Last Thanksgiving, she spent an entire hour bitching about Martin Luther King Jr and Rosa Parks." Jade deadpanned back. At the looks of shock she was sent, she wrinkled her nose. "Yeah. Apparently, segregation was kind of awesome, according to hideous old shrews who don't have the decency to die in a care home and stop subjecting the rest of us to her narrow minded, asshole ideas. "
"Is that why I couldn't come over to see you last Thanks Giving?" Beck asked curiously, and Jade nodded.
"I was under the impression my dad didn't want to give her a heart attack, so yanno. Her only granddaughters half Indian boyfriend turning up? Not a good idea." She smiled wickedly. "But now I've been given free rein to scare her off. I'm gonna pretty much dry hump you in front of her."
"TMI." Tori said with a roll of her eyes although there was a spark of laughter in them.
"Watch it Tori, or else I'll go for you after Beck." Jade mock threatened, although she did get a thoughtful look on her face after the spoke. "Actually, that could work too..."
"Jade!" Tori flushed neon red and spluttered a little, eyes darting to Beck as if in worry and fear.
"Hey, I'd watch." Beck smirked and Jade rolled her eyes and push his arm a little. "I'm just saying...if you were going to make out with another girl in front of me, I wouldn't object!"
Jade scoffed, ignoring the fact Tori didn't really look upset or anything...more like she was just embarrassed and shy. She was still as red as Robbie with sunburn though. "We'll see. Make sure to bring breath mints Tori, just in case I need to bring out the big guns." She smirked at the Latina girl who, if possible got even redder.
"I hope the big guns are needed." Andre smirked, causing Jade to flip him off and Tori to shove him hard, still trying to get her redness under control.
"OK, enough fantasy fodder for the hormonal teenage idiots." Jade rolled her eyes before leaning forward, putting her hands on her knees. "Here's what we do..."
Annabelle West smoothed out her dress as she left the guest room her son and gold-digging tramp of a daughter in law had placed her in (on the ground floor, because she couldn't be expected to go up and down the stairs multiple times a day). She would finally be seeing her Granddaughter, for the first time since she arrived a week before. She only hoped that the girl had finally gotten over that silly little 'Goth' phase and would finally be ready to dress like a respectable young lady. She had such a pretty face and ruined it with all that metal! She wondered if she'd finally get to meet her boyfriend this visit - Beck Oliver. The name alone sounded perfect. Most likely very upper class, with a name like 'Beck', which she presumed was short for Beckham or Beckett. She imagined the perfect Aryan gentleman; blonde hair, blue eyes, tall. The perfect complement to her dark and pale Granddaughter.
However, she heard multiple voices as she headed down the hall towards the kitchen to have a nice cup of tea. One of the voices was her granddaughter, she could tell that much, but the others were unknown. When she finally entered, she stopped dead, a wavering squeak coming out of her mouth. There, at her son's kitchen island, was her granddaughter, Jade. Which wouldn't be an issue. If it wasn't for the two... people she sat with.
There, right in front of her, as if they had any right to be there, was two people roughly the same age as her granddaughter she assumed. However, unlike her lovely granddaughter, who's skin was so pale it was almost translucent, the other two were... the opposite of pale.
"Oh hi Grandma!" Jade said sweetly, getting to her feet. "I'd like you to meet some of my best friends! This is Tori and Andre!" She introduced.
"Nice to meet you, Abuela." Tori replied putting on the thickest Puerto Rican accent she could without it sounding too fake. She hadn't run the whole 'Spanish for Grandmother' by Jade, but it seemed to make the woman shudder.
"What up Gramma." Andre grinned, getting to his feet. Jade had to stifle a laugh. He sounded ridiculous (they both did, to be honest, but Andre especially).
"I've been telling Tori and Andre all about you! They were really excited to meet you!" It was odd, Tori thought, watching Jade act all sweetly in the name of revenge. And kind of impressive as hell - was this how the others felt when watching Jade plan to ruin her day too?
When Andre offered his hand, she let out a gasp and turned as if to leave. Only too meet two more people as they entered the large kitchen.
"Hey guys! Hope you don't mind I let myself in with my spare key!" Beck greeted, waving a set of keys in his hand, sending a bright smile to Annabelle West who looked like she was about to have a heart attack.
"Hey baby! Of course it's fine - that's why I gave you it! So you can come over whenever you like!" Jade exclaimed, sounding overly happy as she strolled past her Grandma to Robbie and Beck, the last part of her sentence with a pointed note too it. "Grandma, this is Robbie Shapiro."
Robbie gave a bright grin, adjusting his glasses "Shalom aleikhem! Sorry I'm late, I had to stay later at the Synagogue to speak to my Rabbi!" Robbie was the one who had to work a little harder, considering his skin tone was almost as pale as Jades. So he really had to lay the references on thick. Jade didn't think she'd ever heard Robbie say 'Shalom aleikhem!' in her life. She wasn't even sure if he even went to Synagogue every Saturday.
"And this is Beck Oliver. My boyfriend!" Jade beamed innocently, before turning to kiss Beck hard on the lips. It wasn't often they would really 'go for it' with an audience around - occasionally they slipped up, but generally it was a lot of cuddling, making out and minor groping, but nothing more than that. So it was a little weird to have Beck's arms tight around her, one dipping down to squeeze her ass, as she tangled her fingers in his hair. They got so 'into it' that they didn't even pause when Beck nearly slammed Jade against the wall, positioning one leg between hers to create friction (OK so like...they were doing this to make Jade's Grandma feel awkward and uncomfortable and terrified hopefully. But maybe they also had a little bit of an exhibitionism kink apparently, because it appeared neither of them had any issue doing this in front of friends. In fact, they seemed to relish in it, which made Tori blink a little).
"I...ah...whu..." Annabelle West looked like she'd seen a ghost as she saw her precious granddaughter allow herself to be...be defiled by some mongrel boy!
"They do this. A lot." Tori said, still hamming up the Puerto Rican accent. "I love your necklace Abuela..." She reached out and took hold of the large square cut emerald Annabelle wore around her neck on a pearl chain - she didn't like the necklace, to be honest. It was tacky looking and gaudy. But it was kind of funny to see the woman almost garrotte herself to get away from Tori's delicate hands - was this how Jade felt when scaring people? Because if so, she could totally see why the girl did it. "It's muy hortera!" She was pretty sure that a horrific racist like this lady (and she used the term 'lady' very loosely) wouldn't know Spanish other than basic phrases to shout at a poor waitress or gardener who probably didn't even speak Spanish. But she was probably the type that, even if she did speak to them, would just do the stupid 'louder and slower' thing some idiots do.
"Don't you dare touch me!" Annabelle hissed at Tori. "Jade Francesca West! What on Earth do you think your doing with that...that...boy!" 'Boy' was obviously not the word she wanted to use, but Tori guessed she figured it was safer. "And these people in your fathers house! How dare you do such a thing!"
Jade pulled away from Beck with an innocent smile. "What do you mean Grandma - these are my friends! They come over all the time, Dad's cool with it."
"C'mon Jade you make it sound like she'll be surrounded by us!" Andre piped up with a cheeky grin, stressing the word in a mocking tone.
"Well, we do normally hang out here a lot!" Robbie exclaimed pushing his glasses up his nose. "Especially with Spring Break coming up! We'll be using the pool all the time!"
Annabelle was evidentially out of her depth. With shaking fingers, she patted her pockets, pulling out her cigarettes and a lighter. She didn't smoke often, but it was a good stress reliever - and she needed it being surrounded by these...these people.
"Oh please. Allow me." Beck smirked, stepping forward, causing Annabelle to take a step back, plucking the cigarette out of her hand and the lighter - the woman actually flinched so he didn't have to touch her. With Jade, the no touching thing was understandable, what with her past. With her Grandma? Not so much. Beck didn't really like upsetting or scaring people; that was Jade's jam. But when it came to this type of person? Someone so bigotted and disgusting? Well, he wouldn't be losing much sleep over it.
So he placed the cigarette filter a little too far back in his mouth - not really conductive to smoking, but more likely to freak the woman out with his 'germs'. He lit the cigarette and exhaled slowly, before passing it back with a 'gallant' gesture, placing the filter (now slightly gross and damp from his mouth) between her two fingers which had been frozen in place from him taking the cigarette to light it. "There you go Mrs West...or should I call you Grandma too? After all, I hope to be very involved with your family for a long time." He smirked pulling Jade too him by the waist as she smiled brightly at him.
"Jade Oliver has such a nice ring to it, doesn't it Grandma?"
That caused Annabelle to nearly choke, and Jade to fake a concerned expression. "Oh is something wrong?"
"JADE WEST! How dare you act like this! You're far better than this...this...!" She stared at Beck as she struggled to choose a word to describe the half-Indian boy.
Jade raised her eyebrows. "Grandma, Beck's my boyfriend. Of three years." She tilted her head, a smile playing at her lips. "I'd have thought you would be happy we're not going to just keep...living in sin forever." She smirked a little, feeling Beck wrap his arm around her waist again, tugging her too him.
"Living in..." Annabelle's heart felt like it stopped for a second, as she processed what her Granddaughter had said. Living in sin?! "You better not have done anything with that...that...mongrel!"
And just like that, the temperature in the room seemed to drop drastically. Before, she hadn't actually said anything overtly racist or offensive, although she had acted disgusting. Now, Andre, Tori, Beck and Robbie's joking disposition had gone, and all that surrounded Annabelle West was frigid hatred.
Jade blinked, almost in shock. She couldn't believe it. Yeah, she planned on messing with her Grandma till she left but still, hearing her use such a term, it made her vision white with rage for a second. OK, this had gone too far. No more playing sweet and clueless.
"Mongrel? Mongrel." Jade snarled, taking a step forward. "He's my boyfriend. And he's worth thirty times more than you, you old decrepit hag. Every single one of my friends are." She tightened her lips, pressing them together so hard they were almost white, before she allowed what was pretty much trademarked as her 'Evil Smirk'. "Also? Me and this "Mongrel"-" Here she used air quotes for the word. "Have had hot, dirty, interracial sex in every room here. Even the bedroom your in." She tilted her head. "Shine a black light in your bedroom and it'll look like a Jackson Pollock painting. And sometimes the bed wasn't even made. So it was directly on the mattress you've been sleeping on this week." She took another step closer, a smirk spreading more and more across her lips. "In the shower you've been using all week? Yeah, that bench is great for interesting positions. And you know, Beck's half Indian..." She smirked again. "So he's has a lot of knowledge about the Kama Sutra."
Annabelle West had slowly been getting redder and redder as Jade spoke, before finally exploding. "That's it! I have had it! If you don't stop this right now and send these...these...vagrants and layabouts away, you're out of my will you...you...harlot!"
Jade scoffed at that, rolling her eyes. "Oh please, whatever Grandma. Like I care if you leave me a few buttons and a couple of grand." She sneered, crossing her arms, sending Beck a small shake of her head - he never liked it when someone implied she was 'easy', or any variation of it. Even if it was from an 82 year old woman.
"A couple of..." Annabelle scoffed. "You would have been getting half of my estate!"
"Ohh cool. Who's getting the other half of 'Every Childs Nightmares'?" Tori asked as if genuinely curious, causing Jade to give her a surprisingly friendly smirk.
"I love it Tori. Great work, all day." Jade told her, causing Tori to puff up rather proudly. Not only did Jade call her 'Tori' when it wasn't part of an act, but she'd complimented her! Willingly! Without being threatened!
"Here's the thing, Grandma." Jade planted her hands on her hips, narrowing her eyes. "My friends? Yeah, they're not going anywhere. I want them here. My dad's fine with them here. Julia's fine with them here. However, I think we both know that no one wants you here." With each sentence, she took an intimidating step towards the old woman. And whilst Jade wasn't exactly an Amazon height wise, at 5'7, she still towered over the rather small frame of Annabelle West, along with the fact that Jade was well, for a lack of better phrase, intimidating as all hell. This caused her to take a step back every time Jade took one forward, until she actually bumped into Robbie and Andre, who had been standing next to each other at the kitchen island.
"So here's what you're going to do. You're going to pack up your shit and call a taxi. While you're doing that, Robbie is going to look up flights back to Gods Waiting Room back in Florida. Robbie!" She snapped looking at the gangly boy.
"On it." He nodded, whipping out his phone.
"You can't talk to me like this young lady!"
"Oh I think I can." Her lip curled up as she sneered. "You've been in the little leagues with my Dad and Julia. They're push overs. Welcome to the big leagues Grandma. And you should know...you're not the Alpha Bitch here. I am. You're in my house now. And I want you to get out of my house."
The tension in the kitchen was almost palpable, with the youngest and oldest 'West' females silently battling it out, as Andre, Robbie, Beck and Tori watched on silently. Tori had actually grabbed Andre's hand and was squeezing the life out of it as she watched, like it was a car crash; she didn't want to keep watching, the tension making her nerves fray. But she couldn't look away. She never seen someone actually have the balls to be in a glaring match with Jade freakin' West before. And now this old hag was giving Jade the best challenge she'd no doubt had in years.
Robbie was mostly just happy Cat hadn't been included in this little plot to rid 'West Manor' (as it was officially known, according to the city of LA's postal service) of Annabelle, as she'd no doubt have passed out by now or be in floods of tears - he was pretty close to it himself; this was worse than when Jade and Beck had been fighting really badly before their major break up. Andre simply watched, probably the most cool-headed of the group - he was angry, sure. But he was also more than aware of the fact that he couldn't really do anything at this point and the best thing to do was leave it to Jade to battle the dragon that was currently in front of her. The girl was braver than most shiny ass knights in the old fairy tales after all.
Beck was the opposite of Andre. Not only was he called a 'Mongrel' simply due to his mothers ethnicity, but this witch had called his girlfriend a harlot. Both things, he wasn't exactly happy about. But much like Andre, he didn't intervene; not because it wasn't his place, but simply because he fucking loved to watch Jade work - when it was deserved.
"You can't talk to me like this young lady." Annabelle broke the silence, repeating herself, and a spark came to Jade's eyes. She'd as good as won now.
"This is my house. I can talk to you however I like. I can do whatever I like. If I wanted my boyfriend to fuck me right on that kitchen table - again, might I add." She sent a smirk to Beck who winked back (Robbie, who had been leaning on the table quickly moved away with a shiver and it caused Tori and Andre to roll their eyes - Jade and Beck were far too open about their sexual exploits, if you asked them). "We could do it right now, in front of you and you couldn't stop me. You. Are. Nothing. I don't care about your money or the family name. I don't care about what you and your little Bridge club talk about while you're pretending your children don't hate your guts. You're a bitter, spineless, shrivelled up old hag Grandma. You're a relic and so are your small minded views."
And like that, Jade won. Annabelle practically shrank back, eyes darting around as if she only just realised she was, as Andre joked about earlier, 'surrounded'. "Your father will hear about this, Jade. Mark my words!"
"I'd tell him myself if you didn't." She stated, crossing her arms again, cocking one hip out. "Now go pack Grandma."
And with that, and one final disgusted glare, Annabelle West turned on her heel and stormed out of the kitchen towards her bedroom. All at once, it seemed all 5 teens almost collapsed where they stood, only just managing to drag themselves to the kitchen table, Andre, Tori and Robbie too mentally and emotionally exhausted to care about the fact that Beck and Jade had just admitted to banging on it.
"I am... ridiculously sorry about her. I didn't think she'd have the balls to say anything." Jade spoke first, her head resting on Beck's shoulder, all the fire gone out of her. "I thought she'd just get all upset and run off."
"It's OK...it was kind of fun watching you work from the outside." Tori sent a small grin to the girl.
"You're wonderfully terrifying." Andre added with a smirk, which got an eyeroll from Jade, although it turned into a soft smile when Beck turned to plant a kiss on her temple.
"She deserved it."
"No argument here." Beck smirked. The group all perked up when they heard muffled shouting and slamming. "Uh...what's that?"
"That, is probably my Grandma reeming out my dad for allowing me to be so disrespectful towards her." Jade grinned, picking her head up off of Beck's shoulder, although she didn't dislodge the hand that was holding hers, playing with her fingers. "All he needs to do is stand his ground and the old witch should be no more trouble. It'll mean he'll have to actually defend me and my behaviour, which may cause him some internal pain." She snarked. "But at least this way, I don't have to hear her bitch about how Abraham Lincoln ruined America." She shrugged when they stared. "Seriously. I told you, she's literally the worst." A longer, screeching shout was heard followed by a door slamming and Jade grinned a little, hearing rather sedate footsteps coming towards the kitchen.
A few moments later, Jade's father came in and crossed his arms, looking at the group of teens at his kitchen table. Four of the five of them smiled as innocently as possible (obviously, Tori was the one who looked the most innocent, with her 'butter wouldn't melt!' smile. Robbie looked awkward. Andre refused to meet Mr Wests eyes, as he really didn't fancy another 10 minute discussion about how he should be the one dating Jade. Beck's 'innocent' smile never really worked well, since it always just made him look like he was smiling sarcastically).
There was no innocence in Jade's smile, fake or otherwise. Instead, one corner of her lips turned up as she raised her eyebrows.
"So?" She asked.
Steven West let out a long breath of air. "She's packing her things now. I hope you know that you're no longer invited to any family gatherings until she dies."
"Oh no. Whatever shall I do." She rolled her eyes and nudged into Beck a little, a sign she wanted his arm around her shoulder, which he complied with happily enough - he did really like pissing her dad off and rubbing it in his face that Jade wasn't breaking up with him anytime soon.
Steven looked at the collection of teens not-related to him and nodded. "Thank you for your help. And I apologise for any offense my mother may have caused. She's..."
"The literal worst?" Jade supplied with an eyeroll.
"Well...yes. I suppose that's an accurate description."
"I need you to give me money, by the way." Jade interrupted.
"An eight grand credit limit isn't enough?" He asked dryly, rolling his eyes. Tori blinked rapidly. Eight grand?! She thought the discussion yesterday was eight hundred!
"They don't take credit cards at the carnival. And I said I'd pay for these guys since they helped out."
Steven West let out a harsh mutter under his breath before pulling out his wallet and leafing through the bills. "Here." He held out what looked to be an actual wad of cash, which caused Robbie, Tori and Andre's eyes to widen. The amount he was holding looked more like half a year worth of their allowances. She snatched it from him and shoved it in her bra. "Jade, I know you have wallets and purses you can put that money in. God knows I've bought you enough of them."
"This way is more fun for me and Beck." She drawled.
"I-" He cut himself off. "OK. Fine. Have it your way." With that, he turned on his heel and nearly stomped out of the kitchen.
"Love you too old man." Jade called after him, rolling her eyes. "C'mon. Lets get out of here before Julia turns up and starts getting all emotional and weepy in thanks."
Tori's mouth opened and closed a few times. "That was...a bizzare conversation to have with a parent. Right?" She looked at the others for back up, and they simply shrugged.
"Bizarre for most families maybe. But that was pretty much rainbows and hugs between Jade and her dad." Beck supplied as he stood up.
"Nothing even got thrown across the room!" Robbie added with an upbeat smile.
"My dad gives me money instead of hugs. It works." Jade shrugged as her and Beck started heading towards the main entrance.
"Don't even try to understand it chika. It's a rich white people thing, is my guess." Andre slung a platonic arm around Tori's shoulder and nearly dragged the still confused girl out of the kitchen.
"Guess it explains a lot about...well...her." Tori replied.
"I heard that, Vega!" Jade called back, lifting one hand to flip Tori the bird without even turning around.
