- Chapter 4 -
The following morning after breakfast, Candy announced she was going to do the laundry. "I might as well, since it is early enough" she declared. The building had a communal laundry area and it was first come, first serve.
"Of course, not Candy, I will go…" Albert said.
"Albert…I will do it, or else Terry is going to think that you are my house slave…don't worry it won't take long and then we can decide what to do the rest of the day." she sang. She hauled out the laundry bag, grabbed her apron and said, "And you behave yourself, Terry…don't cause Albert any trouble!" With that she left, the door closing with a happy slam.
The two men were still taken aback by her quick resolve to do the laundry, chuckled out loud at the same time.
"She doesn't change, does she?" Terry admired. "She is like a whirling dervish!"
"Terry…" Albert started, serious. He felt this was a golden opportunity to approach the young actor.
"Yes, Albert…" Terry noticed the tone and wondered what was up.
"I've always respected your privacy, but now I'm too intrigued with everything that has happened since Candy came back from New York. Please, don't think the worst or deny me this conversation…I just need to talk to you." Albert tried to sound non-judgmental.
"Albert…perhaps at one time I would have told you to mind your own affairs, but now more than ever I need someone to talk to…you are the only friend that I have in whom I can confide in, Candy notwithstanding." Terry said, earnestly.
"Thank you, Terry…first of all, I want to offer you again my most sincere and true friendship. I hope you don't think I am being too curious, but I need to tell you what I have seen and observed. I also want to give you my counsel if you want it. I also have to confide something to you…I've recuperated my memory completely…it happened right before your arrival here. I have my reasons not to tell Candy at this time, reasons that you will soon find out about."
Terry raised his left eyebrow, surprised; but he kept his comment to himself. "Albert, before we go any further, I want you to answer something."
"Of course…"
"I know that Candy and you are very good friends; what is more, you have saved her life...I know that you have been there fore her, especially in her darkest moments…true?" Terry started.
"That is so." Albert said.
"You can say that know her better than anybody, correct?"
"Other than you, I believe that is true. I don't think her friends know her as well. Possibly, Miss Pony and Sister Lane do, but they have not been in her day to day life since she left the orphanage, and many things have happened to her since. Candy always faced her life with great determination and force of spirit…but I think that I…that I have been the only one to see her suffer deeply…I saw how she grieved for Anthony, and I saw how she grieved over your breakup..."
Terry decided not to tell Albert about the previous night's incident. "Then you really know her, because I have not quite seen her suffer in front of me. Many times she and I communicate with our eyes, but I don't think I've truly seen her in deep despair…if I did, it would break my heart." He recalled how he felt the night before, wanting to protect her and comfort her. He had the feeling that what Candy was going through last night was not the worst she had been through and that thought pained him.
"Terry…I don't want to do this, but I have to say it. I don't think Candy wants you to ever find out, because she's trying to put it behind her, but I've come to the conclusion
that the decision you took in New York wasn't the right one for anyone involved: Not for her, not for you, and not for Miss Marlowe. Candy has the great capacity to sacrifice herself to make other people happy, but sometimes one must have to consider one's own happiness first. She thought that by removing herself she could make things easier for your with the dilemma you were facing with Suzanne, but I don't think she realized the consequences…did you know that she came back physically sick from New York? She collapsed on the train, burning in fever. Archibald Cornwell had to go pick her up; she was so weak and was found unconscious…"
Terry was shocked to hear this news and murmured, "Oh…oh no!" Now his pain was complete and it pierced him cruelly. He recalled how stunned he was when he sad seen her leave in New York; even recalling how he had told himself in disbelief, "She didn't even turn around once…" as he looked out the window. At the time, he could not fathom that she did not love him enough to be so sangfroid about the breakup. He only realized much later why she had never turned around, not even once, and the answer lied in something she had said that very night: "It will only make it harder on us, you fool!" Now, he fully understood not only the depth of Candy's strength, but also the depth of her despondency.
Albert continued, "She has cried bitterly and longingly for you Terry…you can't even begin to imagine her unhappiness. She misses you terribly. When she left for New York, she was happier than a bride on her wedding day…she really was walking on air. I know that she loves you; her only intention in separating herself from you was to try to help you. I thought she was starting to get over the breakup when she found these doing chores one day."
Albert showed Terry all his clippings from the papers. Terry noticed that there were dried splatters on them.
"Those splatters are the tears she spilled on them...that night I had come back from work and found her lying on top of them. I don't know if she fainted or if she had fallen asleep crying…but it was obvious to me she had been crying for hours. She didn't say anything, but I knew very well why she had cried. She cried because she knew you weren't taking it well either and that you needed her, and that she could not go to you."
Terry was about to cry himself, but he managed to hold it back.
"The saddest part of this story is that even though she didn't say much about what she was going through, she has me to cry on if she has to. I think what tormented her the most was that she knew that you have nobody, no support at all. She knows that loneliness has been the only constant thing in your life and it aggrieved her more to know that she could not be there for you….and that she realized that perhaps she was the cause of your sadness and despair."
"When you broke up, she told me what had happened. At that time, I told her that if I had been in your place, I would have done the same. Specially considering how you are, Terry…a gentleman and a kind, considerate person. I, as a man who has been brought up to respond as a gentlemen to life's tribulations and situations, I would have done the same."
Terry was curious…how well did he know Albert? He knew that he was a free spirit, nature lover and somewhat of a philosopher…but other than that, who was Albert? Terry had always thought he came from an educated, if not privileged, family, because his speech and manners weren't rough…but other than that…who was his family? Did he have siblings? Why was he so fond of Candy, in a way an older brother, protector or guardian would be?
Albert said, "But now with everything that has happened to you, Terry, please allow me to say that I do not think you should sacrifice your love, which I have no doubt is pure and true, not a simple young love, to what is being asked of you. You would condemn Suzanne to an empty relationship and you would condemn yourself and Candy to a life without your soul mate. Suzanne has to understand that. You can offer her your friendship and your support, financial if necessary, but other than that, it would be ridiculous to continue making plans to marry her…"
"I just cannot visualize a future with Suzanne…that is why I ended up this way..." Terry mused.
"Terry...did you ever give Suzanne some sort of cue to think of you as a possible beau or more?"
"No! Never! She always was following me...what's more; she even confronted me about my feelings for Candy. That is when I found out she had lied to Candy here in Chicago so that we could not meet each other…this was during the benefit presentation of King Lear. I told her then that I loved Candy…she knew I loved Candy well before the accident…"
"Then why didn't she desist, knowing you loved another?"
"I do not know, and that is what is most disconcerting…when I told Suzanne about my relationship with Candy, I remember she told me she would not allow anybody else to love me, not even Candy…then, after the accident, there was the suicide attempt…"
"Yes, I recall…" Albert remembered what Candy had told him about that terrible night. However, with the back-story Terry had provided, several pieces had fallen into place for him.
Silence fell between them for a few minutes.
Albert finally spoke. "Terry…that girl is obsessed with you. With the few additional details you have provided, that is the first thing that comes into my mind. It isn't love…it is a type of love; certainly, but it is one sided, not corresponded and a little sick, perhaps. I am not a seer to peer into other people's lives, but I am sure she was going to commit suicide because she knew that you and Candy were going to be together the night of your opening…and that she wasn't the one to receive your affections. Perhaps she couldn't bear the idea and seeing herself then and there and she couldn't find another solution other than to take her own life. Perhaps she thought she was getting out of the way by doing so, but the only thing she would have done was to cast a dark shadow on your relationship with her death. Candy thought that Suzanne loves you so much that she was going to sacrifice herself for you, but Candy is too naïve and to guileless…she has no malice and it takes her a long time to see it in others. Now I see why she took the decision. She thought that Suzanne's love for you was greater than hers, but in fact what Candy did for you was the greatest act of love, not Suzanne's. Suzanne never had or has your love, she had nothing to lose. Candy had and has your love, she had everything to lose by giving you up…True, Suzanne lost a leg in order to save your life, but Candy then returned the favor by saving hers…should Candy now tell Suzanne that the score is even? Candy, if she was more malicious could tell Suzanne that in repayment she wants you back, but of course, you and I know she will never do that…her love for her fellow human is one of her greatest gifts…"
"Terry, Suzanne has options…she does not have to condemn herself to a limited life…but if she continues to victimize herself in order to keep her by your side, she will only end up bitter. She will end up bitter because your heart is somewhere else, with Candy, not with her. And sometimes the greatest hate is born from the knowledge that what you want the most can never be yours…"
Albert got up and gave Terry an envelope with several papers in it. "I know of several rehabilitation programs at Columbia Hospital in New York…Suzanne can even walk again with a prosthetic leg if she so desires. She can have a career and a life of her own again…that is, if she is determined to do so. If you need the financial help, I am in a position to lend you a hand. I know that you are proud and are probably going to want to do it on your own, but as someone who only wants to see Candy happy, I am going to do everything possible to help her."
Terry started reviewing the documents "Albert…how…how have you found all this out? How is it that…"
"...how is it that a Mr. Nobody, amnesic animal caretaker can offer you financial support? How is it that I know what programs Columbia Hospital offers? How is it that I am so interested in Candy and her happiness?"
"You've read my mind, Albert."
"Terry, do you swear on what ever it is that you hold most holy that you will not tell anybody what I am about to tell you?"
"Candy is what I hold most dear and holy to me…of course, I swear." Terry said.
"Terrence Grandchester...my full name is William Albert Andley…"
The name did nothing for Terry, then suddenly…
"Andley? William Andley?" Terry exclaimed, stunned. He then started laughing, with some reserve as to not bother his wound. "William Andley, pleased to meet you…I thought you were a decrepit old man!"
"That is what everyone thinks, Candy included. One day I will tell you the whole story, but believe me, I am telling you the truth."
"I have never had reason to doubt you…but how?" Terry found the revelation as interesting as any of Shakespeare's plays.
"How is it that I adopted Candy? Or how is it that I have been allowed to wander about the world? I'll fill you in later, since it is a long story and Candy should be back any minute. What I can tell you is that if it weren't for her, I have no idea what would have become of me. Now I owe my life and my sanity to Candice White Andley, my adoptive daughter."
"Albert…or is it William?"
"Please continue calling me Albert…don't use William…" he requested.
"Albert, my intentions with Candy have always been serious…marriage minded…since St. Paul's." Terry said formally.
"I know that, Terry…that is why I left London and went on to Africa without a doubt…I knew that you would take care of her. I don't think either one of you realized it at the time, but I had noticed early on how real your love was. However, I did not count on my niece Eliza mucking things up the way she did…and when I was on my way back to remedy the situation, my tragedy occurred. But my destiny has an angel named Candy…the same way I believe yours has too…I don't think that what has happened to you or to me and how we both ended up in her hands has been mere coincidence…there is a larger Hand intervening there…"
"Albert…I have not had the chance to speak with her yet, and believe me, I had every intention of fulfilling my duty to Suzanne….but almost immediately I realized that it was a terrible mistake, a mistake on my behalf for not having told Candy what had happened, my mistake for not clearly telling her how much I love her, a mistake on my part for being immature, a mistake due to my aloofness…a mistake for trying to avoid yet another abandonment after so many that I had in my life….my desperation for not having Candy in my life anymore and for trying to fulfill my duty with Suzanne drove me to drink, which unfortunately is a weakness of my character… and I quickly feel so deep and so hard into a spiral I could not get out of…I was more and more burdened and anguished because I knew that if I came for her, Candy would send me back to Suzanne, and that is the last thing I want to do….with Suzanne, everything is pain, only pain…the few days I have spent here with Candy have given me life, hope and happiness again…I now know the only thing I can give Suzanne is my friendship, support and help, but I cannot commit to being her husband. I've made my decision and I am determined to see it through…Albert…I ….I want to marry Candice." Terry declared, impassioned.
"Terry, you have my blessing and support…but everything depends on Candy and what she wants to do…you are going to have to talk to her and be willing to accept what she wants to do…"
"If there is anything I have learned through all this, is that I have to speak up and say what I think and feel…not doing so has cost me dearly in the past…"
They both heard the front door of the apartment open and they both abruptly put an end to the conversation.
"Albert….thank you…" Terry murmured.
After Candy's return from the laundry room, the trio discussed what to do that day, which was Saturday.
"The first thing I would like to do is to shave this beard off." Terry said self conscious about it now. It reminded him how he had let himself go, which flew in the face of his customary pulchritude and natural elegance. "And my hair is a real disaster…a good shampooing and a cut will do wonders…I also need some new clothes…I'm wearing Albert's pants as if I was a professional dyke jumper…" he winked, pulling up Albert's pants. Terry had cuffed them so that now that he was moving them around the cuffs came undone and they clearly were too long on him. Terry was tall, but Albert was taller. Albert and Candy burst out laughing, because Terry was so comical.
Albert took out some money from his pocket and put it on the table. "Here, Terrence…it isn't much but it will help some." he offered. He would have dearly loved to give him much more, but he could not run the risk of calling Candy's attention to it.
"Albert...that is not necessary..." protested Terry.
"Come, my friend…many times you gave me money in London for my meals and now I want to repay you…please…" Albert remembered the young nobleman's generosity. He had never suspected then whom Albert really was; but he always treated him as an equal and as the best of friends, despite his status as the heir to the Duchy of Grandchester. There Terry had demonstrated to Albert his true noble self and Albert had found in Terry a kindred soul.
Terry, who wasn't comfortable taking someone else's money, hesitated; but then said, "Very well…let's consider it my birthday present…even though we are bit late…Thank you, Albert." They shook hands and this turned into a brotherly hug, although they both were careful with Terry's stitches.
Candy was so happy to see them thus and even more so to see Terry more like his normal self.
"What's the matter, Candy? Albert asked, even though he knew the answer. Her gaze said it all.
Candy came back from her reverie. "Oh, nothing…I was just thinking where Terry could go to shave his beard…for clothes, we could go to the five and dime near the Magnificent Mile1." she said.
"If I could only present myself as who I really am, there would be no need for none of this…we all could go shopping to Sulka or Brooks Brothers…" Albert said to himself. "You could take him to the barber's where I got my hair cut…it is close to the Magnificent Mile…actually, if you go now, you could manage an outing to Lake Shore Park…it is turning out to be a beautiful day today." he suggested. Not only it would give them some time alone, it would give Albert some time with George and the now never-ending work of running the Andley family empire.
"That's sounds good…what do you think, Terry?" Candy's voice was full of happy chimes.
Terry was basking in the entire feeling of home and hearth with them. "Of course, it sounds wonderful…as long as my personal nurse thinks I am well enough to go out with her." he said, his eyes twinkling.
Candy and Terry took the streetcar from the apartment to the Magnificent Mile area, located around North Michigan Avenue. They got off and Candy led Terry to Woolworth's, where he could pick up some clothes, toiletries and whatnot. Terry had the irresistible urge to hold her hand as they walked along, but he suppressed the desire. The last thing he wanted to do was to appear so straightforward and startle her; he knew all too well how inhibited she was about public displays of affection. They had a good time shopping; Candy was so enthusiastic, especially since Terry was feeling so well. Terry managed to get a new brown suit in summer wool, a pair of monk strap shoes, several shirts, undergarments, handkerchiefs, foulards, a couple of cravats and suspenders. The clerk allowed him to change into the new clothes in the dressing room, so that he could walk out with his new outfit. He topped it off with a tweed hunting cap.
"It isn't Bond2 street quality, but I'll manage…" he said, amused. Strangely, even though he adored fine clothes and personal tailoring, he didn't seem to mind the more pedestrian clothes he had to wear now.
"Terry…you could probably wear burlap and look good." Candy admiringly admitted out loud and then said, "Ooooppss!" She was flustered at having let that thought escape her lips.
"Ah ha! So Miss Freckles does find me good looking…tell me, what else goes on in that mind of yours when you think about me?" he said, playfully. He was looking over the Yardley toiletries. He was more used to Penhaligon's of London or Creed; but Yardley would work just fine for him. They had his favorite scent, Amber and Lavender.
"Oh, Terrence G. Grandchester, you are so full of yourself!" she retorted weakly. Terry had sprayed some of the cologne on him from the tester and now he smelled irresistible.
"Is that so…tell me Candy, how horrible am I that you take such good care of me?" he smirked into her face, his half smile more insouciant than ever.
"You…." She started, unable to finish. The newly applied scent mixed appealingly with his own bodily chemistry and now created a bewitching aroma. That aroma brought a flood of fond memories back to her mind.
"Ah…speechless now…" he continued, "the lady doth protest too much, methinks…" he quoted from Hamlet.
"…You arrogant, insolent, impudent, pretentious, snobbish…" she sputtered, finally regaining her wits.
"Go on, I'm impressed with your description…" he egged.
"…fool!"
"A fool, yes, a fool for you…" he concluded, wanting to end the tirade with a happy note. His sapphire eyes sparkled mischievously at her.
Candy was completely overwhelmed with his charm, but she didn't want to let him know that.
Terry paid for his purchases at the cashier. "Well, I guess now I can get rid of this Neanderthal look I have been sporting…now I really know how much you care for me, Candy…you didn't tell me how awful I look…"
"I was worried about other things…" she said, as they left Woolworth's, "I still can't believe how fast you have recuperated…"
"Albert said it best…you are the most wonderful nurse…you could have pulled a Lazarus with me…now where is it that we are going to?"
"Oh yes…to this barber shop around the corner…" she said, looking at the slip of paper Albert had given her with the address. Candy led the way and they found it shortly. She suggested to Terry, "Why don't you go in, I will wait for you out here...I'll take the shopping bags…I have to go to the druggist anyway to pick up some more medicine and supplies for you."
"As you say, Freckles…I shouldn't be long…"
With that, Candy waited until she saw Terry sit in the barber's chair, and then she went to the drug store at the corner. She dawdled at length upon her return back to the Barber Shop after her purchase; stopping by the news stand to pick up a copy of Harper's Review and Vogue, as well as the Saturday Evening Post. She walked by the flower stand and inhaled deeply at the fragrant spring buds gaily displayed in galvanized tin buckets. She decided to purchase some daffodils and tulips for the apartment. She was so enthralled with her shopping and daydreaming about Terry that she did not notice a couple of viperine eyes that had been following her for a long time now.
Neil Leegan couldn't believe his luck…there she was, as radiant as the day itself. She was wearing a lovely mint color linen dress with a large, fine straw sun hat with a band of the same material as the dress and small spray of lily of the valley. Her golden locks were down and delicate crocheted gloves covered her hands. She looked so feminine yet alluringly elegant. Her face glowed with a besotted smile and a love struck gleam in her eye that had not been there the last few times he had seen her…that only meant one thing!
"Sooooo! Miss Candy…has your wayward Romeo caught up with you, yet?" he sneered, jumping out in front of her, delighting in the glimmer of fear tempered with revolt that crossed her eyes, "Where is he? I know he's here in Chicago…I saw him myself, making a complete ass of himself…or maybe he is already sharing your bed…I'll wager you couldn't wait to jump his bones, could you?" He couldn't believe what he was saying to her but his envious lechery got the best of him.
He then saw stars and birds twitter around his head. Candy had slapped him, hard, with her hand and her purse.
"How dare you! How dare you even suggest that! How dare you use such gutter language with me!" Her emerald eyes flashed green fire.
"I dare because I want you for me…only me…can't you see I love you…" he said, almost desperately, grabbing her by the shoulders, "My only love, sprung from my only hate3…you see, he's not the only one who could quote beautiful lines for you to hear.." he said, trying to force a kiss on her mouth, right then and there!
"Take your rotten hands off me, Neil…you boor!" she yelled, pushing him away. She was furious at his audacity and at his doggedness. She was also nervous that at any moment Terry was going to come back from the barber, and knowing Grandchester's short fuse, there was no telling what his reaction would be. How did Neil know that Terry was in Chicago…could it be possible that….that he was spying on her?
"Don't even think I'm giving up, Candy!" Neil hissed menacingly, "Your Duty is to be with me, even if you don't want to…you'll see!" He turned around and stomped away, infuriated and frustrated.
Candy shuddered when she heard how Neil enunciated that word, Duty. What did he mean by that? Suddenly, she realized how that word could turn so ominous. Was that what Terry felt when he was confronted with that word by Suzanne and her mother…and up to a certain point, Candy herself? Now she fully understood Terry's dilemma and struggle.
"Candy, are you alright?" Terry gently put his hand on her shoulder.
"Er…um…yes!" she replied, skittishly. For a moment, she thought Terry had seen Neil, but she soon realized that if that were so, he would have gone on the offensive right away. She turned around to look at him.
"Looks like you have seen a ghost…you're blanched!" he observed, worried.
"It is nothing, Terry…" she fibbed, her gaze blank. There was no way she was going to tell him what just happened. She felt awful about keeping it from him, but it was just not the right time. That being said, she wasn't sure when the right time was going to be…
"Are you sure? Because you haven't even told me how handsome I look" he said, rubbing his chin. "The barbers here in Chicago have nothing to envy the ones in New York…I almost forgot how much I enjoy getting a nice warm shave."
Candy looked at Terry. He was very well groomed, without the beard. His hair was still in a ponytail, but it clearly looked clean and styled now. It was held back neatly with a new velvet ribbon. "Oh, Terry…you are such a narcissist…but yes, I have to admit, you look very good…even your bruises don't look that bad." she said. Unconsciously she touched the blackest one, her expert fingers feeling the area, making sure it had not been disturbed during the shave. Terry shuddered internally at her light touch.
"The mirrors don't tell lies, Freckles…of course I look good." he said, winking at her and taking her hand. "You know, I think you are taking advantage of your position as my nurse to put your hands on me as much as you can…and I'm more than pleased about that." He gallantly kissed the palm of her hand.
Candy twitched with a queer shiver at the small but intimate gesture. She couldn't help but comparing the feelings Terry elicited from her versus the ones Neil elicited from her.
"Goodness gracious, what am I going to do with you! I was just making sure none of your bruises were touched…how can you kiss my hand in such a way in broad daylight!" she rebuked, flushing, pulling her hand away, trying to sound offended even though inside she was swooning. She really hoped Neil was nowhere around to see this.
"I can because I know you love me…" he whispered with his half smile that finished melting her completely. "Well, now what? I feel good as new now; do you want to go parading a bit?"
Candy was thankful for the topic change, because she knew that Terry was right. Sometimes she reproached herself for being so prim and proper and she wished that she could be a little more laid back like Terry was. "I wouldn't like for you to get too tired…why don't we go sit by the lake? There is the park there, and if you are hungry, I'll treat you to a hot dog." she suggested.
"A what?"
"A Hot Dog…don't tell me you have not tried one!" Candy said, unbelievingly.
"Candy, you seem to forget I am an Englishman…I haven't the slightest idea what you are talking about…" he said, half bemused, half annoyed.
"But I'm positive they have them in New York…what's more, I'm pretty sure I saw them when I was there…" she protested.
"Perhaps they do, but I wouldn't even know where to go get one…but knowing your gourmand graces, I'm positive they are just fine…I would love to try one."
"Well, let's go then…Lake Shore Park4 is very close by…" she said.
Terry nodded and gave his arm to Candy. As expected of him by etiquette, he walked on the street side. They talked about this and that until they arrived at Lake Shore Park. Just as she had said, there was a lovely green area and a long promenade around Lake Michigan, several benches that faced the lake and a food stand.
The day, which was beautiful, turned even more so with the locale. There weren't too many people around. Candy was sure Neil wasn't around anymore, so she felt less guarded once they were at the park.
"Why don't you wait for me there…I will go get the food…my treat!" Candy said, pointing to a bench for Terry to do sit down and leaving the shopping bags there.
"Of course not, I am going to treat you…" he protested.
"Terry, please…let me treat you, since you are not going to have a clue about what to order…next time you can treat me, alright?" she asked.
Terry replied, "Very well, Freckles…I'll wait for you and the infamous Hot Dog right here…" Truth be told, he was starting to feel tired and was grateful for the break.
Candy smiled and went towards the food stand. She bought two hot dogs and two lemonades. When she came back, she could not help but notice Terry. His eyes were fixed over the horizon of the lake. He looked peaceful, calm…even serene. She could not help but compare when she had seen him in New York last. That time, even though she could tell he was so happy to see her, there was a dark shadow in his gaze. Now that gaze was bright and clear, which made him look even more handsome…if that was even possible.
"Here I am Terry…I didn't know how you would like it; so I fixed it up the way I like them." she said, giving him one. It had a line of mustard and a line of tomato ketchup. She sat by him and took her gloves off to eat.
Terry quizzically looked over the food item, and then burst out laughing. "This is a hot dog? But it is a frankfurter…well, a frankfurter in a bun!"
"I suppose that the bun keeps the frankfurter warm." Candy mused.
They looked at each other and chuckled at the same time. Something about how she said it sounded hilarious.
"And how do you eat this, do I just give it a bite?" he asked perplexed, noticing that Candy didn't bring any utensils.
"Yes…look…just like this…" she said, opening her mouth and taking a bite of hers with great gusto.
Terry chortled, "You Americans are very practical…imagine this, a portable meal." he noted. He didn't want her to know that he had found what had just happened to be very suggestive.
"Well, you're half American and you live in America now…you better show your colors and leave your Lordship aside." she goaded. She took another bite out of her hot dog.
Terry smiled and imitated her. "Not bad." he admitted, chewing, then taking a sip of lemonade "Do you know that in the London pubs they serve something similar…bangers and mash…"
"Bangers and mash?" Now it was Candy's turn to be puzzled.
"Yes, Bangers, which are white English sausages; and mash, which are mashed potatoes…ten times better than what they used to serve us at St. Paul's. I preferred to eat that every day than what was on the menu at the dorm."
"Ewww…don't even remind me…" she said, crinkling her nose.
Terry watched her for a moment then said, "Candy, you have a spot of mustard on your upper lip".
"Errr…what?...where?" she asked, trying to lick it off.
Terry took another sip of lemonade "Here…allow me…" he said, delicately wiping her with his napkin, the action feeling more like a caress than a cleansing motion.
"Thank you, Terry…"
Candy felt his eyes burning her. She had to look away.
"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?" he quoted in a soft voice.
Candy felt her heart beat out of control. Suddenly, she wasn't hungry anymore.
"Thou art more lovely and more temperate
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this and this gives life to thee.5
…Have I ever told you how beautiful you are, Candice?" he concluded, his elegant voice with its sensual English lilt laden with pure honey.
"N….no…" she murmured.
"Well then, I say it to you now…because I learned not to remain silent when I am with you. It has cost me a lot of a pain and suffering…I've had to learn no to be so introverted or to be afraid of your disapproval…"
Candy sighed, "But I am not as beautiful or as elegant as Suzanne."
"I find you infinitely more beautiful and elegant than Suzanne, or any other woman I know…besides, your beauty is whole, inside and out. There is nothing that can compare with the light in your eyes, the warmness of your smile, the sweetness of your gestures, the kindness in your heart, the strength of your spirit, the purity of your soul…" Terry took each one of her hands and entwined his with hers. His blue gaze was piercing in its veneration of her.
"Terry…I…" she muttered. On one hand, she wanted him to stop with his declaration, but on the other hand, she wanted to hear more.
"Don't say anything, Candy…just feel…just feel how deep our love is…" he drew her close and started to kiss her lips gently. Candy for a split second tried to resist but then gave herself into what she had longed for so long, since that stolen kiss on the lips he had given her. It was a sweet, gentle kiss; chaste to a certain point…it was kiss that was meant to prove what their true feelings were. Besides, Terry knew that they were in a public spot and he was also conscious of Candy and he respected her reticence in such places. He finally separated and finished by pecking her lightly on her forehead and retaining her close to him.
"I don't want to be without you, Candy…you are my life." he confessed.
"But Terry…what are we going to do…we cannot leave Suzanne like…"
"I haven't said I am not going to help Suzanne. But I am not going to marry her. There are other ways that I can help her and help her get ahead again…she does not have to be sentenced to a wheel chair the rest of her life, the same way I don't have to be sentenced to a life without my true love."
"Terry…I…I don't know if I could be happy with you knowing that you have a duty with Suzanne…" she said.
Terry looked deeply into her eyes. "Candy…if there is anything that I have learned from this hell I've gone through, a hell that I put myself through for being hesitant and apprehensive about what do to, is that I have to fight for what my heart desires and wants, not what my sense of honor and duty try to impose on me. You know, if we didn't fall into that trap at St. Paul's, we probably would still be there…but I am sure that my father would have never allowed me to marry you, because I am certain that he probably had already affianced me to God knows who, and I would have had to obey him because it would have been 'my duty'…he wanted to force me not to speak to my mother because of 'my duty' to the Grandchester name…and of course, it was 'my duty' to be the future Duke of Grandchester and there would have been no place for my dreams of becoming an actor…and with Suzanne, all I've heard is that it is 'my duty' to marry her…well, I say to you and to everyone, No! I've reached a decision…my only 'duty' is to be honest with myself and not to deny the happiness that I so long for in my life, and to follow my dreams and desires, not everyone else's wishes. That is what I have decided, after I was given a second chance, the second chance that I realized after I woke up at Dr. Martin's clinic, the second chance I set eyes on when I saw you there next to me, taking care of me…"
Candy considered what Terry had just said. She understood, because when Neil had used that word, "duty" earlier that day, she had felt a terrible sensation of being trapped that went against her very self.
"Candy…please tell me again…do you love me? Do you love me as much as I love you?" he asked.
"Yes, Terry. I love you." she professed.
"Then this is what I propose. I want to show you that I am worthy of your love. I know you love me with all my shortcomings, but I need to purge the last few months to prove to me and everyone that I am not a useless, irresponsible, immature drunk, running away from myself. I will go back to New York and to Broadway; I will help Suzanne get well and become independent; and I will rise again. And when I'm satisfied that I have achieved all three I will come for you and I will never leave your side again."
Candy moved closer to him and gazed deep into his eyes. "Terry…I will wait for you…I will wait for you as long as it takes…" she promised.
1 The Magnificent Mile is an area located on Michigan Ave. in Chicago, developed around the turn of the century to emulate the Champs Elysees in Paris. It is anchored by the historic Chicago "Water Tower". The locals also call it "Mag Mile" and the author has had the good fortune of shopping there twice
2 A very smart shopping area in London.
3 From Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet
4 This is an actual park near the Magnificent Mile in Chicago, that was established in 1880. And yes, the author has been there . I guess it helps me a lot that I've been to Chicago to situate these characters in places I know ;)
5 A more modern version of Shakespeare's Sonnet 18, not in Elizabethan English:
Shall I compare you to a summer's day?
You are more lovely and more delightful:
Rough winds shake the much loved buds of May
And summer is far too short:
At times the sun is too hot,
Or often goes behind the clouds;
And everything that is beautiful will lose its beauty,
By chance or by nature's planned out course;
But your youth shall not fade,
Nor lose the beauty that you possess;
Nor will death claim you for his own,
Because in my eternal verse you will live forever:
So long as there are people on this earth,
So long will this poem live on, giving you immortality…
