- Chapter 10 -
Sunday, May 9, 1915
My dearest Candy,
Chicago to New York…Here I am on a train that takes me away from you, love, but it won't be for long. How is everyone at Pony's Home? You will find this strange, but I
miss them even though I met them only once…do you know I envy your childhood?...one can tell that in that humble and bucolic place there was love and fraternity all over…no wonder you think about your life there so much…I imagine you up in Father Tree or playing with the children…I also dream of you holding a small one with freckles on its nose and blue eyes like mine…an enfant terrible, he? Can you imagine that, Candy?
Yours,
Terry
P.S. As you can tell, I had to mail this upon my arrival to New York. The trains should have carrier pigeons on them, don't you think?
Sunday, May 16th, 1915
Terry,
You and your fantastic imagination! What am I going to do with you! The only thing that's left for you to do is to put some sort of strange nickname on the poor child!
Yes, it is true, every afternoon I go to Pony's Hill…sometimes I climb up onto Father Tree and I fix my sights on the east, because that is where my love is.
I miss you.
Candy
P.S. You are right, they should have something available to send mail from the train in progress and not have to wait until you reach your destination. I am going to ask Stear to think about it!
Tuesday, May 11th, 1915
My darling,
I have come back to New York with a lot of enthusiasm, hope and resolve. I have talked things over with Suzanne. She did not want to accept at first, but she ended up acknowledging that my heart and all my self were yours and belonged to you. We have started to visit Dr. Spitz at Columbia. He's already outfitted her with a prosthetic leg. I would have liked for you to be there to see how her eyes shone when she realized she could stand up again. Of course, she needs to do therapy and get used to using the leg. We are going about four times a week for the sessions. On the weekends, I take her to Central Park to continue with the exercises.
I've also returned to the Stratford Theatre Group. I had to beg Robert (I know what you are thinking; I, Terrence Grandchester begging anybody to do anything, right?) to give me a second chance. You will be pleased to know that he did and not only that, I was able to secure another starring role (very competitive, but the good-for-nothing aristocrat turned actor outdid everyone during auditions, ha-ha). This time I will play the Prince of Denmark, Hamlet…I wish you could come for opening night!
It is very sad for me to come home to an empty apartment every night. I wish you were there to welcome me and to finish off my busy days, but soon, very soon!
Yours,
Terrence
Saturday, June 5th, 1915
Terry,
You don't know how happy I was to hear about Suzanne…I wept tears of joy. She is so lovely and she deserves a life full of triumphs and happiness. Perhaps I will change my mind about not going to New York; I would cherish the opportunity see you on opening night and to spend some time with you…but then I remember we had agreed not to do it until you were ready to come for me, and maybe we should keep it that way.
The days go by very quickly…there is so much to do around here! I don't know how Miss Pony and Sister Lane have had the energy all these years. I don't know how big of a family you would like to have, Terry, but I hope you weren't thinking about a baseball team.
I miss you,
Candy
Tuesday, June 15, 1915
Baseball, Candy? In ye olde merrie England we call it Cricket! I don't know what we would do with so many children, especially if they all go off climbing trees like you…we'd have to open up a zoo or make them part of the circus act…remember that joke I made back in your apartment? I of course would still like to be the ringmaster or the clown, if you insist.
Everything is going well, Suzanne is doing fine and making a lot of progress…did you know that Albert was visiting? He has taken my mother out for a few outings…she really enjoyed it!
Hamlet will open soon…are you sure you don't want to come?
Yours,
Terry
Thursday, July 1st, 1915
My beloved Terry,
Yes, I knew Albert was in New York on business…he had offered me to come, but I said no…you know why. I am happy that he is spending time with your mother, she is so dear to me…do you know I consider her like a mother? I hope you don't mind sharing her!
It is warm around here now and I've gone to the house in Lakewood some weekends, to cool off in the lake. We've had a lot of fun with Archie and Annie, Patty and Stear, who by the way is healing wonderfully. Even Great Aunt Elroy is nicer to me. As for everybody else, Neil has written to me from West Point and it sounds like he is going to do well; Eliza is organizing charity events and balls for the Chicago Red Cross and has been very successful with the fundraising. I can't say that we get along swell, but at least she's stopped bothering me. It also looks like she's got a beau who is from Dallas…at least that is what Archie told me…he's quite the gossip, you know! Everyone sends their best.
I've missed you so much these last few days, to the point that perhaps I may just show up in New York…but then again, no! I'm determined to stick to our agreement.
I've been remembering our time in Scotland a lot…promise me we will go soon, please?
I miss you,
Candy
Monday, July 12, 1915
My beloved Candy,
I too have thought a lot about our time in Scotland…and I look fondly towards our future life together. I swear that we will go as soon as the war is over. Maybe then you will allow me to kiss you in front of the Loch as God intended me to. How could I forget those days in which our souls gave themselves to each other and we bonded? Your love has been my salvation, my darling…please be mine forever.
Yours, always yours,
Terry
P.S. I miss you terribly, but I feel your presence wherever I am. The opening is next Thursday, think a little bit in your conceited dumkopf and pray for me that day. You have God's ear.
WESTERN UNION
THURSDAY, JULY 22, 1915
TERRENCE G. GRANDCHESTER, STRATFORD THEATRE, NEW YORK STOP
YOU SHINE MORE BRIGHTLY THAN ANY STAR IN THE SKY STOP I BELIEVE IN YOU STOP CWA YOUR LADY FRECKLES
WESTERN UNION
FRIDAY, JULY 23, 1915
CANDICE WHITE ANDLEY, PONY'S HOME, ILLINIOS STOP
OH HO HO SO NOW YOU ARE LADY FRECKLES STOP THERE IS NEITHER AN AUDIENCE NOR AN APPLAUSE THAT CAN COMPARE TO YOU…YOU ARE MY MUSE STOP TGG YOUR HAMLET
Saturday, July 31st, 1915
Terry,
Don't think that I like that Lady Freckles name…I put it that way for you to have a laugh at my expense and relax you a bit before going on stage.
I read with great delight and joy everything that was written up on you in the papers. You looked so handsome and brave! Zounds! Why did I even say that, now your big head is going to get even bigger. I thought maybe it had been a mistake not to go see you, but I guess after all I will be in all your openings and presentations soon.
Albert came to see me and told me everything he did in New York with you. He told me he had met Suzanne and that he was very satisfied with her progress. He says he sees her happy and full of life. He told me of all the outings you did, the four of you and how grateful Suzanne was. You are so sweet and kind, Terry…my eyes well up just to think how noble you are. It looks like Albert had dinner with your mother several times…you know, I daresay that he's falling in love with her?
I miss you so much and it is getting harder and harder for me not to look into your deep blue eyes everyday. I have to steal glances from the pictures I kept from the set we took at the Art Institute. I love all of them, but the one where you are kissing me is the best one of all…
Your Candy
Thursday, August 5th, 1915
My dearest love,
It is also getting very hard for me not to come home to you every night…I miss those days in Chicago when you were by my side 24 hours a day…see, those pictures are coming in handy, aren't they love? Hamlet has been a great success and we will be presenting it for a couple of more months…it is sold out! For the holiday season we will be presenting Dickens' 'A Christmas Carol'…looks like Robert wants me to play the Ghost of Christmas Future…fine by me, since I don't want to be hauling chains around.
You are very observant, my Lady Freckles…yes, I had noticed Albert looking at my mother with special eyes…and do you know what? I think he's being corresponded . My mother has been so alone all her life and she's been so unlucky in love that nothing would please me more if a gentleman like Albert loves her. Because there is no one else like him.
Suzanne is getting more confident with her prosthetic and she can move around with it as if it were her own given leg. Robert has been following her therapy and wants to give her the role of Tiny Tim's mother in the Christmas Carol. She is so excited about this that I think she is really putting a lot more effort in her therapy.
I think about you very much Candy, and it is a wonderful way to be.
Yours,
Terry
Thursday, August 12, 1915
Terry,
Do you know you are the man I love?
Candy
Friday, August 20th, 1915
Candy,
Don't forget to tell me that the next time we see each other. Oh yes! And if you pair it with a sweet kiss from your lips, I promise to repay you over and over and over and over and over again.
Yours,
Terrence G.
WESTERN UNION
FRIDAY, AUGUST 27TH, 1915
CANDICE WHITE ANDLEY PONY'S HOME, ILLINIOS STOP
I HAVE NOT HEARD FROM YOU STOP IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT STOP I AM VERY WORRIED STOP I AM READY TO GO TO YOU IF NECESSARY STOP TERRY
WESTERN UNION
MONDAY, AUGUST 30, 1915
TERRENCE GRANDCHESTER STRATFORD TEATRE NEW YORK STOP
EVERYTHING IS FINE STOP I WILL WRITE SOON STOP CWA
Wednesday, September 15, 1915
My dear love,
Please forgive me for not writing soon…we had an influenza outbreak here and we all were very sick. Thank heavens it finally passed, but I had a lot of work and I am a bit tired. I know I should have sent you at least a couple of lines but truth be told, everything happened all at once…but now all is well again.
Annie and Archie just got engaged, they will marry next September. Stear was accepted at MIT and it looks like he is smarted than he let on…they moved him up a year! He and Patty plan on settling down after he's done with college. They won't get engaged until next summer.
Albert is leaving late October on a business trip to Mexico and I won't see him until the holidays. I seriously had some doubts about not seeing you, Terry…I'm starting to harbor some dreams about seeing you at the end of the year…but then I think about it and I realize that it should be the way we agreed upon. We need to be patient…soon we will be together forever soon.
I love you so much.
Candy
Tuesday, September 21, 1915
My darling love,
Sometimes I feel as if time isn't moving fast enough for me. I miss you so much, sweetheart, that it hurts.
Terry
Wednesday, September 29, 1915
My dearest Terry,
I would have never done this before, but your love has emboldened me. I also miss you so much, that it hurts.
Candy
Tuesday, October 5th, 1915
Terry,
I could not wait until your next letter to write you…I have something very important to talk to you about. Albert came yesterday and we had a lovely time together. He always comes with his car brimming with presents for the children…it is like Christmas whenever he comes around! Speaking of presents, he told me he has just purchased an entire apartment building in Central Park East, and he wants to give us the penthouse as our wedding gift (among other things, he says). I told him that I would talk to you about it because I do not know what plans you have for our home once we get married. The penthouse has 6 bedrooms, servant's quarters, 5 bathrooms, a powder room, a formal dining room, a formal sitting room, a formal living room, a large study with a library, a breakfast room, kitchen, butler's pantry, two dressing rooms and a private elevator. Oh! And of course it has the patio and the garden. If we don't take it, Albert says it will remain as the Andley's New York Apartment. I asked him where he would stay if we took this apartment and he said "Candy, of course I will take another apartment in the same building so that I can stay in when I am in New York!"
Tell me what you think and if it sounds like a good idea.
I miss you,
Candy
Tuesday, October 12, 1915
My dearest,
You can always write ahead as many times as you like…you know I love reading your epistles…I confess that sometimes I sit down and reread them all with the pictures close by. Now you will really think that I am crazy, right? Crazy, yes, and very much in love with you.
On the one hand, I am very honored with Albert's gift, on the other hand my stubborn pride menaces to cloud my common sense…you know I want to do things on my own. But in the end, I am not a fool.
If you like the place, then that shall be our home. Being in front of Central Park has many advantages…I could ride more frequently….and you could climb as many trees as you like!
TG
Thursday, October 21st, 1915
Terry!
Yes, you are crazy and yes you are a fool! But I love you just the way you are.
CWA
Monday, November 1st, 1915
Dearest Candy,
It is staring to get cold here in New York. Suzanne's progress is going marvelously well. We have been rehearsing A Christmas Carol and she has been great. It is the first time the Stratford will present Dickens, so Robert is being a tad more rigourous with us during rehearsals.
We will have a week off at the end of the year, from December 23 until January 2nd. I would like to spend it with you. Please, have pity on your poor Romeo. I've been very good. Although I don't know whether to ask you or Father Christmas.
Adoringly,
Terry
Friday, November 12th, 1915
Oh Terry,
I don't know what to say or think, I really would like to see you for Christmas…it would be the best gift for me. The only downside is that if I see you again, I am not going to let you leave me! I guess if I end up going to New York that week, you would do the same.
Here at Pony's we are preparing everything for Thanksgiving. Patty will be here, as well as Stear (he has a few days off), Archie and Annie and Tom. I have been rehearsing a Thanksgiving Play with the children…you would be so proud of me! It is a good thing no one has suggested that I help with the cooking, because I would surely burn the turkeys to a crisp. My love, I hate to tell you this, but we are going to have to hire a full time cook…Albert tried so many times to teach me, but I think that God has not given me the grace to be a good cook…or any kind of cook!
I suppose you will spend that day with your mother?
Your Candy
Thursday, November 25, 1915
My darling,
Don't worry about the cook, we will have one or as many as we need at the ready. It is a good thing that I at least can boil water without burning it…or are you going to deny that I make the best cup of tea that you've ever had? And what about my hot chocolate; peerless, right? All this talk of hot chocolate makes me want to prepare one for myself!
Yes, we celebrated Thanksgiving at my mother's home, which I just realized is a block away from our new penthouse, so she is greatly thrilled at this bit of news. Robert and his wife also came, as well as Suzanne and her mother. I really don't care for Mrs. Marlowe, but we had a good time anyway. I hope your little play came out fine, how I would have wished to be there to see it.
You are very right, dearest…if I see you now I won't let you leave my side, so I will hold on for a few more months. It is almost the end of year! Albert wrote to my mother to tell her he's planning on spending the holidays here, so I will send your Christmas gift with him. I already have it, and I hope you will like it.
I love you,
TG
Sunday, December 12, 1915
My beloved Terry,
There was a terrible snowstorm here at Pony's Home; it is a good thing we had stocked up the pantry before it hit because we've been cut off entirely. The children are very excited with the coming of Christmas, and I admit that I'm getting a bit nostalgic. I think of you often. Today we put our tree and the crèche up. I really could have used one of your hot chocolates, but Miss Pony's is a good substitute. Oh! That being said, and I know you will agree when you try them, Miss Pony's fruit pies are the best and my mouth waters just thinking about the ones she is going to bake for Christmas Eve.
Albert has come to say goodbye, since he is departing for New York, and I send with him this letter and your Christmas present. I couldn't go personally to get it, but Archie has acquired it for me with my specifications. I know you don't really get along with my cousin, but out of all my friends and family, he is the one who knows best about these things.
I Love you and I send you my warmest embrace from here,
Your Candy
Friday, December 24, 1915
Candy,
I could not resist opening your present so I did it as soon as Albert arrived at my mother's home. Freckles, you are the sweetest creature! Where did Archie find the antiquarian set of Shakespeare's works? They should be in a museum, not in my humble library. I'm even afraid to turn the pages! There are wonderful and I will treasure them always.
Christmas was the time of year I hated the most, but now I've changed my mind and look forward to the many we will spend together.
Yours in each and every Christmas,
Terry
WESTERN UNION
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 31, 1915
TERRENCE G GRANDCHESTER NEW YORK STOP
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY STOP CWA
WESTERN UNION
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 31, 1915
CANDICE WHITE ANDLEY PONY'S HOME ILLINOIS STOP
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY STOP TGG
Thursday, January 6, 1916
Oh, Terry!
I can't even put down in words what I feel…Albert just gave me your present and I opened the little blue boxes it right away. Terry, they are so beautiful! Why, they must have cost you a fortune, why did you do it? Sister Lane almost fainted when she saw them. Miss Pony, on the other hand, had to try one of them on.
I love you…
Candy
P.S. Don't worry about the books…looks like Archie purchased them from the estate of an Elizabethan English professor who lived in Lakewood. He paid a fair price for them, although he said they were a bargain considering how old they are. He's become quite a connoisseur of antiques….but then again, he's always been that way, a connoisseur.
Wednesday, January 12, 1916
My darling,
Don't worry about the jewelry, you will use them and get much enjoyment from them for many years to come. They were pieces specifically created for you by Louis Comfort Tiffany with my input. I would hope you would have guessed why one set is sapphires and one set are emeralds, right? I tried to remember how small your wrists are so I hope I remembered well.
No piece of jewelry or precious stone can compare to you, my love. These are just a poor facsimile of you.
I adore you,
Terry
Friday, January 21st, 1916
Dearest Terry,
I am writing this in hopes it arrives for your birthday. I hope you like the small gift I send with this card. I miss you terribly and wish I could be there to celebrate your birthday…I still thrill at the memory of the party you helped organize for me last May. I hope to organize such a lovely evening for you very soon.
Love and much best wishes from your Candy on your special day.
Friday, January 28th, 1916
My Darling and Only Love,
This has certainly been the best birthday I have had in my life so far. A lot has happened to me in the last year…the worst and the best…hell and heaven…death and resurrection. I am now old enough to appreciate all these experiences and to appreciate the gift of your love and your presence in my life. I don't ever want to not have your sweet being in my days, nights and thoughts.
Funny, how it seems that my whole near death experience seems so long ago…as if it were a past life of some sort. In a way, I guess it is…I was reborn anew, and all thanks to you.
To quote Frosty, "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.1". I now refuse to live wondering about the "what could have been" which would have certainly happened if my choice of duty over my true love had eventually won…in a sense my descent into despair when I was away from you forced me to take the road I didn't want to take because of the weight my sense of duty had in my life...as inspired by Nietzsche, I prefer now to take charge of my life and live what my desires and dreams exhort me to do.
I love you.
Terry
P.S. I adore the picture you took. I keep it in my dressing room. You know you are my muse, don't you, love?
WESTERN UNION
Monday, February 14th, 1916
CANDICE WHITE ANDLEY PONY'S HOME ILLINOIS STOP
I LOVE YOU STOP TGG
WESTERN UNION
Monday, February 14th, 1916
TERRENCE GRANDCHESTER STRATFORD THEATRE NEW YORK STOP
I LOVE YOU STOP CWA
Monday, February 21st, 1916
My Darling,
New York is still cold, but my heart warms every day knowing that I will soon be with you. We are presenting Romeo and Juliet….I am playing Romeo…and Juliet is being played by Suzanne.
Suzanne has totally recuperated and habilitated. You would be very proud of her, as I am. The public adores her and hardly anybody remembers what happened…she is so natural that at times I daresay she can't tell the difference. She has a very ardent admirer who has been sending her a lot of flowers and Belgian chocolates…I think they are going out on a date in the next day or so. I met him the night of our premiere and he's quite charming. His family belongs to the Social Register here in New York, which has Mrs. Marlowe all a twitter. Since I have never been one to give a darn about those things….I just wish for Suzanne to be completely happy and fully corresponded in love.
My promise her has been fulfilled and as soon as the season is over (end of April) I will come for you and be your lawfully wedded husband. I have already told Robert that I am taking the rest of the year as a sabbatical…I think he's now abusing me for having agreed to this, since I am double billed Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays! The play has been very well received and sold out. Two presentations a day have been very tiring for me. If I do not write you with the same frequency or if my letters are a bit shorter than usual, please forgive me, love. Just know that all my achievements are yours, yours only. Be assured that I will come for you soon.
I caress with great anticipation when we will finally be together.
Yours, always yours,
Terrence.
1 This is from "The Road Not Taken", one of Robert Frost's most famous, and signature poems. It deals with taking the more difficult path in life, instead of the easier one that prompts thinking about the "what ifs" that plague people. This poem was actually published in the Atlantic Monthly in 1915.
