Beyond Exhausted!
Janet Fraiser had just pulled a double shift. Now a double shift in the easiest of jobs is no picnic, but when the job is as a highly stressed doctor at a top-secret military base that operates missions to other worlds it's nightmare material.
During this double shift there were a few things to keep Janet occupied, ranging from the usual cuts, bruises, colds and flu to the slightly more exotic, as when SG9 came back early because two members were walking on unsteady ground when it gave way. Thankfully they sustained only minor injuries but hugely bruised egos. Janet was presented with six cases, reminding her why it would be a good idea to eat out or bring her own lunch in future. As it turns out a can of dodgy tuna can cause more harm to SGC personnel than the Goa'uld. However, none of this compared to the last thing she had to deal with, leaving her to question exactly what qualifications Sergeant Siler had as he managed to well…blow himself up, effectively.
Apparently he was tinkering with something that SG6 brought back from another planet, and it exploded. Luckily, he had a concrete wall to break his fall. The most surprising thing was that he suffered only minor burns and a few cracked ribs, so he lived to get injured another day. But some of the computer systems were fried after a console was literally, well…fried!
However, there is only so much a person can take, even a highly trained military doctor. The events of the day had taken their toll on Janet and she was close to the breaking point. When the doctor did reach it, it was not pretty. Very few times had it ever got that far but when she did it was normally a result of extreme exhaustion and high stress levels--so no chance of that then! The way she would normally deal with this would be to have a good cry and that would be the end of it, the only problem was she was still on base.
Thinking logically for a moment, she planned her route of escape. She would first have to leave the infirmary, make her way to the lockers to get changed, traverse the corridors to the elevators, up to the surface past the guards to her car through the security station and she would be free on the open road. Easy, right? Wrong!
First things first, leave the infirmary. This would have been easier if Janet's head nurse Abby Washington hadn't just handed her the paperwork for the double shift she had just worked, so Janet settled into her office and did the good little soldier bit and dotted the I's and crossed the T's.
When all the paperwork was completed, she made her way to the lockers, unfortunately her timing was off and it was the men's turn. So after a 20 minute wait she finally got in there and changed her clothes. At this point she could feel herself physically begin to sag, and this was not a good sign.
She left the changing rooms and made her way to the elevators only to see Hammond and O'Neill already waiting, deep in discussion about who knows what. Not wanting to get involved, she hid out of sight and waited for the next one. When it finally came, she walked in only to discover it was full of new arrivals. She was glad because they had no idea who she was, and she would not have to talk to them. But this did not stop her mentally sighing at the fact that she had to do all their physicals ASAP.
Janet made it to the surface, through the guards' station and signed out without a problem; this though made her suspicious of what was going to come next, and she was right to be. When she arrived at her car she noticed the scratch the size of the Grand Canyon down the driver's side. Not knowing what else to do she kicked her tyre out of frustration. This, she decided afterwards, was not a good idea because A. the scratch was still there B. she still felt like she was going to break down any minute and C. now her foot hurt as well!
Janet climbed into her car, took a long soothing breath and started it. 'Almost there,' she said to herself. In truth, she was almost there, but not quite. Between her parking space and the freedom of the open road lay a long line of traffic. Due to the afore mentioned minor explosion, and subsequent frying of the computer the security program used at the check-point was down which means that everything was being done manually and with lots of everyone's favourite…paperwork. This caused delays and a very riled up and cranky CMO.
Luckily she made it home without incident, and now all that stood between her and a nice long bath and a glass of wine was getting her hormonal 15-year-old teenage daughter ready for her sleepover and out the door.
When she opened the door she found Cassandra pacing around the living room having a heated discussion with one of her friends about some boy. Janet tuned this out as it was no doubt some run of the mill teenaged angst that means the world today but will be forgotten tomorrow.
Janet dumped her things by the door, caring less than she should about setting a good example for keeping the house tidy, and made her way to the kitchen to find the bottle of wine. However, when she entered the kitchen she was not amused, oh no, not amused at all.
"Cassandra Fraiser," Janet yelled, not caring about the neighbours or anything else at that point.
"Mum, I'm on the phone" came the terse reply.
Janet was not in the mood, so the next time the whirlwind anxiously paced by her she grabbed the phone and hung up, saying, "Now you're not."
"Mum Oh.My.God. I can't believe you just did that."
"Well maybe you should have thought about that when you decided not to do your chores. The kitchen is a state! The phone is a privilege not a right." Janet mentally groaned-- she was turning into her mother.
"Mum, you just don't understand"
"Maybe, but I'm too exhausted to come home and have to clean up the kitchen. You do your chores or you don't get to use the phone got it?" Janet stated as strongly as she could, not knowing how long she could keep the argument going.
She didn't have to wait long as Cassie replied "Fine! I'm going to Stacey's now, if she'll even let me in now she thinks I hung up on her!" And with that she grabbed her stuff by the door and left.
Janet knew that she should have insisted Cassie clear up the kitchen first but she didn't have the energy to fight any longer. However she did wonder why she had to pay a phone bill that mainly consisted of teenage phone calls to someone who lived 5 houses down the street. 'In my day…' she stopped that thought right there not prepared to deal with the consequences of uttering the immortal words that signify you're getting old.
Janet walked back into the kitchen, opened the fridge and removed the bottle of wine. She grabbed a glass and decided that she would leave the washing up. Doing it would only be torturing herself as she had a date with a bubble bath up stairs. Besides, if she closed her eyes it all disappeared any way.
She took the glass in one hand and after a moment's hesitation grabbed the bottle in the other and made her way upstairs. When she arrived in her bedroom, she kicked off her shoes, removed her socks and went into the en suite to run the bath. Janet placed the wine and glass down and decided whilst the bath was filling up she would change the sheets on her bed. She felt like she needed the boost fresh clean sheets provided.
What Janet didn't take into account was how long it would take to strip and remake the bed compared to how long it would take to fill the bath, and true to her current form of luck the bath was overflowing when she returned to it. The bubbles were all over the floor as was a substantial quantity of water. She turned off the taps and cursed herself for getting out of bed this morning.
Meanwhile…
Major Samantha Carter had just made it to the surface of the SGC and headed to where her bike was parked. She had just returned from a boring (if any mission that involves travel to another planet can be classed as that) mission, so she decided to give Janet, her best friend, a ring to see what she was up to.
Janet was saved from breaking down there and then in the massive puddle that was formerly known as her bathroom by a ringing phone. She answered it, praying that she could hold it together long enough to tell who ever it was to go away.
The doctor picked up the phone and heard Sam's voice and that was her undoing. The tears she had been holding in for God knows how long silently begin to fall. However, she tried her hardest to invoke all her medical and military training and expertise in holding it together in extreme circumstances.
Janet continuously stated that she was 'fine' that's she was 'just a bit tired' and 'not in the mood for anything tonight'. She finally managed to hang up thinking that she had convinced her best friend of the last four years that nothing was wrong.
But Sam was not convinced. In fact, she was now quite worried as she could hear the stress and tension in her friend's voice. It sounded as if she was about to break down into floods of tears. Sam's mind was now made up about where she was headed for the evening as her motorcycle came alive with a ferocious roar.
Janet hung up the phone and then began to break down sobbing uncontrollably from all the stress, tension and tiredness she felt. She cried so hard she didn't hear the distinctive rumble of the Indian.
When Sam arrived, she was glad that she was given a key to Janet's house after Cassie's arrival under the pretence of 'just in case'. She opened the door with ease and on hearing Janet cry made her way up the stairs, taking two at a time.
Sam entered the doctor's room and moved to the bed. She sat next to where Janet was lying and manoeuvred them until Janet was leaning against Sam's chest with her head resting on her shoulder. Sam held her best friend while she cried, waiting patiently for the sobs to subside.
When the doctor calmed down, feeling slightly embarrassed, she began to explain the day that she had had to Sam in the hopes that she might understand why she was in the state she was in.
Sam obviously did understand and took pity on her friend. She went to the bathroom and pulled the plug on the bath full of now cold water and then proceeded to pour out a glass of wine and take it to Janet.
"Here, drink this," Sam stated, without room for argument.
But Janet tried anyway, "Sam, I just…"
Sam cut her off with, "Let me help Janet please, just relax and have some wine."
Janet took the offered glass from her friend after her previous determination to resist Sam's help had completely vanished.
Little did she know that this had been something that Sam had wanted for years, the chance to look after her friend and repay some of the kindness and compassion she had shown her so readily over the years.
Through one disaster or another it had always been Janet who Sam could turn to, who would be the strong one and whom she could break down in front of knowing that she would help her re-build afterwards. It didn't take long for their friendship to grow and for Sam to develop feelings for Janet beyond what military regulations would allow.
What Sam didn't know, however, was that these were the same reasons why Janet did not want her friend to see her like this-- broken. She was the strong one, the one whom Sam could count on, how could she fall apart? She felt exposed and vulnerable and didn't have the strength to fight it. She relished the fact that Sam needed her strength, that she was an important part of Sam's life. Sam needed her in a different way to Cassie and she loved it. She loved Sam. Janet came to terms with her love for the Major after she had come back from Hell. Literally! That had been a bad one, she held Sam for hours whilst she cried for her father, for Jolinar and for Martouf. For the love they had known and lost, for the confusion she felt over her emotions and what feelings were hers and what was left behind by Jolinar. Janet knew then. She knew because it hurt, it hurt to see Sam so upset and distraught that she cursed Jolinar, what she had done and wished that she was alive so she could kill her herself for what she did to her friend, Hippocratic oath be damned.
Janet tried to hide these feelings. She rarely let herself truly relax in front of Sam; she always monitored how much alcohol she consumed and made sure she never said too much or did anything that could be wrongly (or in this case, oh so rightly) interpreted. She couldn't, no she wouldn't lose Sam. She told herself that just knowing her would be enough and at the same time she wondered how long she would have to keep telling herself that before she actually believed it.
Whilst Janet was trying not to think too much about her current situation, Sam was cleaning up the bathroom floor and refilling the bath with hot water and lots of bubbles. When this was done she returned to the bedroom and escorted Janet to the bath and left her to enjoy her bath in peace.
Sam rarely unleashed her culinary skills, but she felt the time was right and raided Janet's kitchen and said a silent prayer when she found the ingredients to make some pasta and sauce. She started without delay, wanting it to be ready for when her friend emerged from the bath.
Janet was beyond tired, beyond exhausted. She didn't think that there was actually a word that could accurately describe how she was feeling. So when Sam came in to check on her and inform her that she was making her some dinner as well, her defences were down, which was not good, not good at all!
Sam instructed her to lean forward so she could wash her back for her. Janet complied surrendering herself to her best friend's care hoping she didn't make a complete fool out of herself.
Sam then moved to the other side of the bath reached in and pulled out a foot, she began to massage it in an attempt to relieve some of the obvious pain her friend was in. After a short time she began on the other foot. Throughout the entire massage her eyes remained firmly locked with the Doctor's, trying to convey her understanding, compassion and some of the love she felt. She broke the intense gaze and returned the foot to join the other one in the bath and went back to the kitchen.
It couldn't be possible could it? It could not be possible! Could she have just seen what she thought she saw? Love? Love in Samantha Carter's eyes.
No it wasn't possible, she was just letting herself get carried away, getting her hopes up, but why now? Janet let out a weary chuckle at the irony of having to deal with these thoughts when she was entirely too tired to deal with them. So instead she forced herself to get out of the bath and put on some clothes. Maybe then she would feel less vulnerable and more in control of her thoughts and feelings. Yeah right!
Sam served up the pasta and placed the plates on the table in the kitchen. When Janet entered she was surprised to see that Sam had also cleaned up as well as cooking her some dinner. The latter had amazed Janet as she unaware that Sam had such skills.
Janet devoured the food accompanied by another glass of wine, surprised at how hungry she was, considering she had been willing to forego dinner before Sam had arrived. Sam silently ate her dinner, concerned over how her friend was behaving. Even though she had wanted to look after her friend, she was becoming worried by her uncharacteristic behaviour.
Janet poured herself a third glass of wine and went to sit on the sofa whilst Sam rinsed the dishes. Considering the day Janet had had and the lack of food she had consumed due to the stress and constant motion of the day she knew a third glass of wine was pushing it, but was too tired to care.
When Sam joined her with her own glass of wine, Janet began to speak, but she wasn't entirely sure if she wanted to say the words she found coming out of her mouth or if Sam could understand what she was trying to say.
"Thank You for helping me re-build."
"What I mean is, thanks for being here, I know I'm normally the strong one," Janet clarified, unintentionally verbalising what Sam had previously been thinking.
"Janet, I'm always here if you need me. I know I rely on you a lot and I'm sorry if I made you feel like you always had to be strong and in control. The truth is I have liked looking after you, it has given me a chance to repay some of the love and care you have shown me."
Janet looked up at the word love; she locked her eyes with Sam's and said it. She said those words that she hoped would never come out, never risk her friendship and lose the person who meant the most to her (besides Cass of course). "I do love you, you know. I have for a long time. I was scared to say anything but I'm so tired now."
She found that she meant it, not just physically but she was emotionally tired from having to keep her guard up all the time and for having to lie and hide how she really felt. She didn't know if it was from the exhaustion or if it was true but she found herself thinking that was a good thing to finally get this out in the open.
Sam shifted round on the sofa so she could face Janet more easily.
"I love you too, I didn't say anything because I didn't want to lose you or risk our friendship, you mean too much to me."
"Really? Because I was so worried that you would reject my feelings and I couldn't bear that."
"No I'm definitely in love with you!"
Sam let loose her best mega-watt, knock 'em dead trade mark smile and it actually made Janet tingle all over, she was a sucker for that smile. When she thought about it she didn't know anyone who wasn't.
Sam stood, not entirely certain she knew what she was doing and pulled Janet up to stand next to her. Sam walked silently to Janet's bedroom holding the doctor's hand in hers. When they arrived at the bed Sam lifted the blankets and told Janet to get in. She replaced the covers and said, "I know we have a lot to talk about, but I get the impression you're tired."
"Ya think?" Janet snorted.
With a smile Sam replied, "Constantly, actually, but that's not the point! It would be best if these life-altering talks were had when both parties were awake and alert. I'll stay in the spare room tonight if that's OK." Janet nodded. "We both have tomorrow off and I think we might need the energy a good night's sleep will provide."
Janet raised an eyebrow in a motion that wouldn't be out of place on
Teal'c.
"No, not like that" Sam said blushing slightly. "Just get some sleep, and I'll see you in the morning." This was said as Sam pulled up the covers and tucked Janet in. Sam leant over and brushed her lips over Janet's. She pulled back just enough to look into the doctor's eyes and breathe "Night."
Janet returned the sentiment before releasing her hand from the covers and running it through silky blond hair. She pulled Sam's head toward her, not that there was much resistance and their lips met again. This time, however, the kiss was a promise. Janet gently pulled Sam closer deepening the contact between them. Neither was entirely sure how long they remained in their embrace but both were breathless when they broke apart. Sam smiled, repeated her goodnight and left.
When Janet was left in her now empty room she thought to herself that she had never been so grateful to be so completely, devastatingly and painfully exhausted in her life.
The End.
