Sirius' POV

"Padfoot?" Prongs sticks his head round the doorway of the lounge.

"Yeah?" I continue to skim read the 'Which Broomstick?' and don't look up.

"I think you better go see Moony, I think he's upset," he tells me.

"What happened?" I get to my feet instantly, dropping the magazine to the floor.

"Me, him and Lily were chatting outside and he just got quieter and quieter," Prongs shrugs lightly. "Then he got up and left without a word. I think he's up in your room."

"Thanks Prongs," I head upstairs.

I enter the room to see Moony perched on the edge of the bed, bowed over slightly with his hands clasped tightly between his knees. I walk over quietly, knowing that I won't make him jump. He already knows that I'm here, I couldn't surprise him if I tried.

"Gee Moony, try to contain your happiness, just watching you is making me tried," I drop down beside my obviously unhappy Mate. "What's wrong, Love?"

He continues to stare at the floor with a slight frown on his face, apparently not noticing me.

"Would you like a cup of tea?" I change tack.

"I hate thinking that soon you will go off to work and I'll end up being a house-husband… or whatever, as we aren't actually married," he sighs.

"Moony… I love you, and I'm sure we'll find you something to do," I tell him.

"I know you think so," he looks up into my eyes.

"Hey, I love you, Moony," I tell him again. "What do you want me to do? Just name it, Love, and it's yours."

"It isn't that easy…" he drops his head to my shoulder.

"Moony…"

"My name is REMUS!" he jumps up suddenly and stalks out of our room.

"Drat…" I mutter. I clearly misjudged that.

I follow him into the corridor in time to see him Disapperate away.

I curse loudly and run downstairs, then realise that was a stupid waste of energy and instead turn my mind to concentrating on finding my Mate.

The Link we have tells me that he is ok, if rather unsettled, but doesn't tell me where he is. I curse and mentally tick off the places he might be,

"School, maybe… but you can't apperate there… the flat, that isn't ours anymore… James', ditto… Peter's, don't think so somehow… a random field in the middle of nowhere, probably…"

"Padfoot?"

I jump violently,

"Prongs! Warn a guy!"

"Sorry," he laughs, "what's going on?"

"Moony Disapperated, and I'm running though all the places he might be."

"Grimmauld?" Harry offers from beside his father.

"Why would he be there?" I raise my eyebrows.

"That's where he lived for the last four years," Harry shrugs.

"He did?" I didn't know that.

"Well, yeah, he couldn't afford anything else," Harry tells me.

"Yes he could," I snap, "my fortune was left to him in my will."

"Oh," Harry says simply.

I curse under my breath and Disapperate.

Remus' POV

I curl up on the sofa in the living room. I hope that this is the last place Sirius will think to look for me. Chances are he will search the length and breadth of the countryside before checking here. After all, he hates it here, and will subconsciously put off looking here.

I can feel that he is upset and worried. I also sense his anger, and know that I have disappointed him.

I didn't mean to pull away from him, but now that I have it is best if I stay out of his way until he calms down.

It isn't his fault, really. He has always been overly optimistic when surrounded by his friends. That part of him died a little, after Azkaban, but is back in full force now. I can't cope with his optimism right now; I need some time to think.

I jump at a loud crack from downstairs. There is silence for a second, then I hear his voice.

"REMUS? Are you here? REMUS, please answer me, Love."

I ignore him and pull my knees tighter to my chest. I hear him come up the stairs and pause next to where his mother's portrait used to hang.

"Redecorated in my absence, I see," he murmurs appreciatively. "REMUS? Come on, I love you, we'll work through this!"

I let out a small sob and I hear him freeze and turn towards the noise,

"Remus?" he steps into the room.

He steps into my line of sight,

"There you are! Why didn't you answer me? Come on," he steps towards me.

I flinch away from his touch and turn my face away.

"Mo… Remus, what did I do? I don't understand," he doesn't move any further forward.

Sirius' POV

He is afraid of me. I can feel it through the Link. I consider making it an order that he talk to me, I am the alpha in our little Pack, so he would have to obey me, but I can't do that to him.

"Remus, I'm not going to hurt you. You must know that?"

He shakes his head and curls up tighter.

"When have I ever hurt you?" I ask softly as I sit on the sofa in front of him.

He sniffs softly,

"Do you want a list?" the first thing he's said to me since I got here.

"Ok," I agree, hoping just to make him open up again so that I can find out what has gone so terribly wrong since this morning.

He pauses for a second,

"When you hit me on the train to Hogwarts," he starts, without looking up at me. "When you laughed when I screamed from my nightmare, when you said you could be friends with two of the people in the dorm, when you never apologised, when you ignored me and hexed that kid from Hufflepuff." He swallows loudly and continues, "when you sent Severus after me, when you didn't invite me to come and live with you, when you left me at home alone while you swanned around at work," he starts to cry. "When… when you thought I was the traitor, when you ignored all reason and went after Peter yourself, when you didn't come to see me the instant you escaped, when you left me alone while on the run, when you… when you died…"

I stare at him in surprise,

"I… Is that what this is all about? The number of times I've let you down?"

He shakes his head, still sobbing,

"I was just answering your question."

"Do you not love me?" I ask quietly.

His head jerks up, his eyes wide,

"That isn't the point."

"Ok, what is the point?"

"I'm a werewolf."

"Really? I hadn't noticed," I snap sarcastically, and regret it instantly.

He eyes drop down submissively,

"Sorry," he murmurs.

I groan,

"Remus, I'm sorry, I just get frustrated when I don't understand. I don't want you to go all submissive on me, please just tell me what's wrong."

He bites his lip and glances back up at me,

"It's autumn," he tells me sadly.

"Yes, it is," I agree.

"It's October soon," he drops his head back onto his knees.

A small lightbulb is desperately trying to turn on in my mind. October, what happened to Moony in October? Oh shit… The lightbulb flicks on.

"You were bitten," it comes out as half-gasp, half-moan. "Ah, Remus, I'm so sorry. I forgot, please forgive me?"

"The next moon is my anniversary," he murmurs. "I will have been a werewolf for thirty-six years."

"Remus…"

"It just brought it all back to me, Sirius," he sighs. "All the hurt, all the rejection, all the sleeping in the gutter and being abandoned by those you once counted as friends…"

"I…" I don't know what to say to him.

"You could do better," he stands abruptly. "I'm wasting your time."

I catch his arms before he can vanish on me again,

"No, Remus, no. I love you nobody else, you. I'm sorry I hurt you before, but I do love you. I'm sorry for a lot of things, Remus, but can't loose you. Please, damn it, please don't leave me."

He throws his arms around my chest and bursts into tears as he holds me as tight as he can.

"Sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry…" he repeats over and over again.

I hate the New Moon even more than I hate the Full Moon.

"Shh, not your fault, Love," I hold him tight. "Not your fault. It's the New Moon today, I forgot that too… I'm sorry, I should have been more attentive today. You are safe, Moony; I won't ever let you go. It's ok, now, I love you. Not going anywhere, Love. Shh…"

Later

"What was wrong with him?" Harry asks quietly when I enter the kitchen to get a quick drink before returning to my Mate.

"It's the New Moon today," I tell him.

"I don't understand," Ginny admits.

"He isn't settled yet, so he is nervous. In addition, he is a werewolf whose very existence is tied to the moon. None of the moon can be seen when it's a New Moon," I explain quickly as the kettle boils. "The wolf side is always off-kilter on a New Moon, and as Moony's human side isn't feeling all that great either he basically had a bit of a breakdown. He's ok now."

I hurry back up the stairs before they can ask any more questions, and slip back into bed behind my Mate.

"Sirius?" he murmurs.

"Right here," I wrap my arms around him.

"Sorry for making you worry."

"Not your fault, Moony," I kiss his nape gently. "My fault, I should have realised the date. I'm so sorry."

"I want to move out," he mutters.

"Ok," I agree readily. "Where to?"

"Grimmauld," he shifts onto his back to look at me.

"I… I…" I search wildly for the right words.

"It's my territory," he explains nervously. "I hated it then, but it was still mine. With you back I think we can make it nice again."

"But… but its in London. I thought you wanted to live in the country?"

"The garden is large, once we clear it," he smiles gently. "And whenever we run in the country we always head for the nearest civilisation. We like to explore towns. It might be fun to explore London."

I laugh gently,

"I never thought I would go back there willingly," I admit. "But if that is what you want, and it is where you will be happy."

"We don't have to," he looks nervous again.

"Maybe not," I agree, "but this morning I told you I would give you anything you wanted. That was a promise, Love, and I always try my hardest not to break my promises."

"I love you," he snuggles up against me.

Author Notes:

Heh heh, I felt like adding a dose of angst. I like angst. Anyway, I am still considering my plot options at the moment.

Thank you to Miss Anonymous hp for your plot idea, I do like angst, as I said, so I might go with that a little. I dunno, I guess you just have to watch this space! ;)

In answer to your question Harry is an Auror in training, Ron is also training to be an Auror, Ginny is training to be a Healer, Remus is unemployed but sometimes did basic unskilled paperwork/accountancy jobs for Muggles in the past. Sirius is an Auror, James is a Seeker and Lily has a high up position in the Ministry.

Altered- James is now a Chaser, thanks to Miss Anonymous hp!

Thanks to everyone else who voted for excessive fluff and to all of you who just reviewed to say I was doing ok.

I know there was no Harry-James-Lily stuff in this chapter, or anyone except for Sirius and Remus for that matter, but this fic, and the one before it, were always going to be Remus-centric. I have branched out a little since, but do have a tendency to return to old habits. I'll give the other characters more of a say in the next chapter. Probably.

If anyone spots any mistakes in either of my stories that my betas have missed please let me know.

Thanks again.