Oooookay this was a very random plotbunny that came to me at 4:00 i the morning. I don't know how or why, it just begged to be written. It's very amusing to me, at least, and I hope you all find it so, too. I picked the title because there's a bit in the story in which Mac calls Danny Romeo, so I figured Juliet's line in the play was somewhat fitting. Yeah, I know, I should be shot for putting something serious to the title of something this inane. Characters belong to CSI NY, as usual.


Danny couldn't suppress his laughter. Here he was, laying in his boss's arms in a rather mussed up bed, Mac glaring sleepily at Danny's latest quip.

"Come ON! I think Macadamia nut would be a fun nickname."

"No."

Mac rolled over, trying to ignore Danny purring in his ear. "And why not? Poor, poooor Macadamia nut." Mac groaned and tried to bat Danny's hand away, only to have it captured and kissed ravenously.

"Look, Danny it's endearing, it really is. But I really don't do nicknames." Mac looked over his shoulder to see a pout. "Oh, don't you try that on me, Messer." The lip quivered even more. Mac sighed, giving in. "Well, at least come up with something a little less fattening!"

Danny grinned. "Now that's my good sport." He flipped onto his back, one hand still grasping his lover's, massaging it gently as he perused his brain for an idea. "Hmmm…. Mac…. Maca… Macaroon? Macaroon!" His eyes brightened, looking over at Mac excitedly.

Mac did not share in his enthusiasm. "I am just about to go get my gun and shoot you, Danny. Just letting you know now."

However, the threat did not take the desired effect, which Mac realized a little too late, as he found himself beneath Danny, not for the first time that night. Danny growled delightfully. "Yeaaah… get your gun out… Danny wants to play with it…"

Mac couldn't help but roll his eyes. "Do you always think with your dick?"

"Only when the thoughts are about you, sexy." Danny laughed gleefully again.

"Mac still did not join him. "Messer, you better get off of me or you're fired." The lip returned in full force. "No! I am not falling for it this time!"

"Yeah-yeah, whatever. You really know how to kill the mood… Macaroni," Danny added impishly, flashing a wicked smile in his boss's direction.

Mac didn't know whether to take up his previous threat or kiss him senseless or just ignore the stupidity. He chose the latter. "So I've gone from a nut to a cookie and now onto a noodle. Reeal creative from one of my best CSIs. Now… if you'll excuse me, there's a pot of coffee that's just screaming to be made. Maybe the caffeine might wake your brain up enough that you can come up with something at least halfway decent." He sauntered out of the room, grinning shamelessly at what he knew Danny was doing- sulking.

Of course, Mac was right. Danny flipped onto his back and sighed half-heartedly. "I'll show you halfway decent, Taylor." He racked his mind, sprawling out metaphorically and literally. He didn't have too long to wait until Mac returned with a solitary mug. "Only one? Who ain't getting any Joe, Macbeth?"

Mac's eyes glinted in a mixture of annoyance and amusement. "Relax, Romeo. I just thought we could save a mug and just split it. Now move over before I sit on you."

Danny quickly complied and created a space for Mac to sit, taking the cup from his hands and sipping it carefully. After a few zaps of caffeine, Danny remarked, "Wrong play, Mac."

Mac zoned back in from staring at the adorable way Danny drank his coffee and blinked at him. "Hmm?" He tilted his head in visual confusion.

"You said Romeo, and I was talking about Macbeth; they're from different plays of the Bard, ya know." Danny smiled, proud of his literary knowledge.

Mac snatched the coffee away from Danny and stole a swig. "Yeeeah, I know. I just thought I'd give the name thing a shot, and you were on the whole Shakespeare track." He paused, realizing something. "But how about we forget those?" Danny mimicked Mac's earlier puzzled look in his own bewilderment. "They both died."

"Yikes, I see what you mean. Maybe something a bit less dramatic. Macaw, maybe?" Danny lifted an eyebrow, only to find a pillow in his face.

"I am NOT a bird, okay? Maybe I was wrong to think caffeine would stimulate your brain. I'm actually starting to think you don't have one to stimulate!" Mac grinned, knowing Danny would take it as a joke.

Danny did and fired one off, as well. "Okay… MacArthur. Whatever you say."

"WHAT did you call me?" Mac's eyes flashed dangerously, as he set the coffee mug down on the table coolly, but Danny knew the calculated motion was symbolic of an attack.

Danny high-tailed it to the other side of the bed. From his somewhat safe distance, he taunted, "Yeah, I called you MacArthur. You got some problem with being called an Army boy or something?" He smiled mischievously, knowing he was sitting on a perilous fence. "Oh wait, that's right, you're a Marine, and that's a bit different, isn't it?"

"Oooh, Messer, you can kiss that pay raise goodbye in about ten seconds if you don't take it back." It was Mac's turn to pout, which was rather charming amidst the boiling anger ready to spill over.

Danny snickered, turning up the heat on the stove. "Aww, Mac it's just a joke." He crawled over to his lover, sexily moving his hands up Mac's chest, noticing the way it induced a labored breathing. He whispered erotically next to Mac's ear, "What about Big Mac?"

Mac chuckled slightly despite the fact he was having trouble breathing with Danny touching him this way. "I thought we agreed on no fatty stuff. Besides, I'm not really that tall, to tell the tru…" Mac's eyes widened as Danny's hands slid southerly, very southerly.

Danny once again returned to hiss in the now very turned on Mac. "I didn't mean height…" His breath hitched as he found his prize. "I…I think you know what I meant."

Mac sucked in a breath, wincing at the problem he was facing, blushing at the loss of control. He righted the situation, shoving Danny roughly to the bed, cutting off any chance of contest. "I know exactly what you meant, Messer…" With that, his hands roamed and pinched and caressed and touched scorching skin, nipping his teeth on Danny's shoulder.

"Oh… oh fuck, Mac…" Danny moaned weakly at the torture. "If you know what I meant, just give it to me!"

Mac peevishly grinned at his employee, writhing beneath him, putty in his hands. "Yeah, you'll get it; I just wanted to hear you say my name."


Okay, so what did you think? stupid, I know, but perverted jokes would soooo be something Danny would say. And Mac is not a nickname person LOL!