MasterFranny: here you go with the third revised chapter; to make things clear to you all, I will try my hardest to rewrite all the chapters before finishing the fic. Hope you enjoy!

Kai: . headache!

MF: you're such a weeping guy.

Kai: you made me turn into one!

MF: let's turn you into a weeping silent one then.

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Thanks to:

Phyrefly

Inulover28

Elves of the Moon

Vampyre Neko

Dancing Wolf

Bakemono-Chan

And all the ones who reviewed later.

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Rating: Still T, for a while…

Warning: this will be shounen-ai, which means boy x boy relationship. If you are not comfortable please leave now, without further ado. No flames accepted because of that.

Disclaimer: Sigh, sniff, I don't own… but I wish I could…

"Talking"

'Thinking'

"(Talking into other languages)"

((BitBeast language))

Dreams sequences, flashbacks, memories–

Breath of Light

Chapter 03 When knowing the truth is painful…

The pain is still residing inside me,

Claiming my heart in its realm;

When did my faith falter,

When did my hope disappear?

Looking deep into my eyes

One could see nothing more

Than a reflection of a tainted soul…

Never to be free,

Never to fly again,

Chains of pain

Tightening on me,

My wings too heavy to fly…

Diffidence.

Unsure about the ones you can really trust, not knowing who you can allow to be at your side in the darkest moments of your life, knowing they may see how weak you are.

Doubt.

Doubting about faith, fearing that if you let your heart trust, it will then backfire against you…

Uncertainty.

How would people react, finding out who you really are? Your true being exposed for all to see, your deepest and dreaded secrets out in the open? Secrets no one should keep for himself hidden inside a young soul, never to be released, never to find ease… haunting heart and mind.

Both Rei and Mr. Dickinson were running through the same trail of thoughts, thinking about the sole person that managed to puzzle them –Kai. Both thought to be responsible because he wasn't confiding in them, both blaming themselves for this.

Why didn't Kai trust them? What could stop him from opening up?

It wasn't as if they hadn't tried. Every way they could, but still Kai remained distant, closing his real thoughts from everyone's sight, sliding further away from their expectant reach, out of reach.

They kept failing, because he still couldn't trust them.

Any of them.

To Rei, even admitting this was painful. The raven haired boy blamed himself for not to be strong enough to catch Kai's attention, failing the attitude that could make the fearless leader put his trust in him. During all the championships the Neko-Jin worked his way to the stoic captain, but had no decent results, nor by speaking to him, nor by standing at his side.

Fear…

Was there something Kai feared? On inaccurate looks it could appear he lacked this feeling. Rei had since long understood this was just an act. Kai blocked away the fear because he did not want to get hurt.

Once Rei was of the same advice as well, but this belief changed as he was forced to face his fears by leaving his village to wander through the world. He'd learnt fear could make minds blind, but if accepted, if analyzed, it could make you stronger.

Kai appeared as if he was not of the same advice.

To him fear was a useless feeling, so he banished it deep down, pushing away others' help. To him, as he'd been taught, relying on someone was a weakness, which was not. It was a strength and Rei wished Kai would someday understand.

On his side Mr. Dickinson was blaming himself even more. He'd known Kai for a long time, because once he'd been –drum rolls- Voltaire's friend. A very close one.

He had known Kai's parents as well, and used to go visit them pretty often.

Kai's mother, Marya, was one of the nicest person he'd ever met, with beautiful silky azure hair and deep, mahogany eyes. She was Russian, daughter of a rich business man who had died years before, having her inherit his fortune. She was carefree and cheerful, and loved her husband.

Kai's father, Tsukasa, was a fierce soul; Kai resembled him in both appearance and acting. He was proud and determined, intelligent and sly. His hair was of the deepest blue, and his eyes were crimson, burning with internal fire.

From them Kai inherited his handsome appearance and his strong will.

They loved Kai, and Mr. Dickinson remembered perfectly well their bright faces when he was born. No one could compare with their happiness…

Then, the day came. The day in which both died, leaving behind their little light. Blinded by pain and sorrow, Stanley Dickinson could do nothing but look with serene eyes as the young boy went to live with his only living relative left –Voltaire. The business man looked devastated by the death of his son and daughter-in-law, and to Mr. Dickinson he appeared like the perfect person to actually look over his little grandson, who by that time was not even five.

If he'd watched more carefully on the old man's behaviour, nothing like this would have happened. Many innocent lives could have been saved; but he closed his eyes, pretending it was all ok, that Voltaire was acting strange just because he was mourning a precious loss.

The first of his decisions after Kai became rightfully his was to move to Russia –to Stanley he explained the country would always remind him of his son, and he actually believed it.

And now, the once happy and carefree kid became an emotionless and secretive teen, who did not trust anyone but himself; who had been taught to live only to achieve power.

Now his last hopes were the BladeBreakers. He saw how Kai acted when around them, and it was different somehow. Maybe he still did not trust them, but he was slowly drifting towards it. They could break through the walls Voltaire built around Kai's heart and soul. He was sure of that.

Mr. Dickinson snapped out of his thoughts as they reached the bus, finding it empty. Ten minutes passed since Kai left the common room, and after much debating the rest of the team decided to leave for a restaurant, where to celebrate their victory –due to Tyson's endless whining.

Helped by the guards, who bravely stood between them and the sea of fans, effectively blocking them from jumping on the champions; it hadn't been easy though.

For once, Tyson and Max were not helping at all: they waved at the crowd, walking –or even better, bouncing– around with inflated ego, drinking and absorbing every compliment sent in their direction. A fan almost managed to break through the barrier, but was stopped at the last moment; she kept crying out for Rei to bite her, which freaked the Chinese a lot.

"Where is Kai?" Max looked around smiling, excited by the attention he was receiving from the rabid fans. "He said he was going to wait for us here…"

He was in dare need to get his hands on some sweeties, since his sugarhigh was almost completely faded. Casting a nervous glance around –he looked like he was on caffeine- he bit his lower lip.

He was going to be able to resist some more, come on, he wasn't that desperate…

Well, he was!

Bruce was the first to reach the bus, and he frowned, sensing something was wrong. The bus door was opened, even if no one was there, and it wasn't like him to let doors open like this.

As he reached the stairs of the bus he looked down, and noticed something white on the floor. It was some sort of cloth, and he recognized it immediately as Kai's scarf. Attached to it, Kai's motionless body lying on the ground.

Tyson's father gasped in surprise and shock, kneeling down Kai's unresponsive frame, his heart tightening up as he searched frantically for the heartbeat. A strong relief washed over him as he detected a steady pulse in the fainted teen's wrist.

The Phoenix was pale, even more than usual, but worst of all, he was burning with some kind of fever; how the pale complexion and the fever could combine, Bruce was not sure, but this wasn't important right now.

As the man passed his arms around the lithe teen's frame to pick him up, he was astonished to find out he could actually count the ribs with his fingers –obviously Kai wasn't eating, and hadn't for a long time. How could they not notice such a thing!

Bruce winced slightly when, standing up with Kai in his arms, bridal style, he hardly felt the young teen's weight. The slate haired blader was too thin, especially for someone of his age.

Maybe Kai was anorexic?

"Bruce, what…?" Mr. Dickinson had seen Bruce kneel down and as he approached the other man his voice faded away at the sight that met him. Bruce had Kai in his arms, and the teen was fainted. A rush of worry and despair hit him full force as he raced towards them, absolutely horrified.

The slate haired teen's head slumped heavily on Bruce's shoulder, his bangs covering his face, preventing the rest of the team to see his haunted expression.

"KAI!"

Tyson, Max and Kenny rushed forwards, shocked, whilst Rei leaned on Mariah for support, approaching a little slower. Tyson stopped a few inches from his father, staring with fear at his team captain's lifeless body, "what happened! Dad!"

They were all scared. Until fifteen minutes before, Kai looked perfectly healthy, but now he looked shit. How could they not realize he was sick? How stupid all of them could have been? Too self centred to care for their leader, too busy gloating for their victory.

"He's burning up," Bruce replied looking at his son and his son's friends seriously. "He's in seriously need of hospital treatments". He decided it would be better not to tell the teens about Kai's starving condition. That alone was worrying them, he couldn't add more pressure.

Tyson and the others nodded, this was not the time to joke around, Kai was seriously ill and he needed to go to the hospital as soon as possible. It was a shock to them, seeing their strong, almost invulnerable captain reduced in such a weak state.

The BladeBreakers were not just worried, they were deeply afraid; Kai had always been their anchor, the only thing that kept them grounded. He trained them with harsh methods, he looked and acted as if he cared nothing for them, but all the same he was their guide, their leader, the reasonable one. Without him they felt disbanded.

Alone.

How could they not realize he wasn't acting normal? Were they such horrible friends?

But nothing was needed now, not even guilt. Kai needed them, and even if he usually acted as if they were not friends, they were. They cared deeply for him.

"We are coming with you," Tyson stated, leaving no room for arguing.

Bruce, Grandpa Granger and Mr. Dickinson looked at each other, uncertain, but staring at the determined faces of the teens, who were looking pale and serious, they knew nothing would have them change idea. Bruce merely nodded before jumping up the stairs, settling down with Kai securely placed in his arms on the nearest seat, trying to keep him as much comfortable as he could.

Rei sat down behind Bruce whilst the others surrounded him, forming some sort of protection around Kai's body, not even realizing it. Bruce himself tightened his grip on the Phoenix, eyeing him with worry as a soft whimper passed through the slate haired teen's lips, afraid he'd hurt him.

Their driver wasn't there, so Tyson's grandpa climbed up the driver's seat; he would have to do.

The bus left the parking lot with its engine roaring, speeding through the streets in a hurry, Grandpa Granger looking around frantically trying to find the way towards the city hospital. He only hoped there was no police around, they could lose no time.

No one spoke during the ride, all eyes fixed anywhere but on the fainted teen in Bruce's arms, too shocked to stand the sight of Kai this… defenceless. He suddenly looked so young, and no one wanted to admit he was the one that needed to be… protected now.

If they hadn't decided to go celebrating now, maybe Kai would be already…

Tyson's father let his worried eyes linger on Kai's relaxed face; he looked so different from the usual acting he put on. He hugged the teen, who he ended up considering somehow his own child, and tried to reassure himself he would be ok.

His heart tightened up as Kai's previous calm face turned into one of pain, distress running on his features.

What could he be dreaming about that was hurting him? What was he hiding under his cold façade? Why couldn't he trust them?

So many questions and no answer at all.

Then it came. A mere whisper, so faint Bruce had to lean lightly on him to understand what he was murmuring in his sleep. Bruce easily recognized it as Russian, which he obviously knew.

"(Yuriy…)" was Kai's whimper.

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Another harsh blow on his low back made the teen stiffen in pain, followed by many others; and still, as the whip continued to fall on the ivory skin, no sound could be heard leaving the tortured lips apart his shallow breathing. Dark blood was seeping slowly out of the many wounds, staining the once white shirt, now reduced in shreds.

It was hard to concentrate to will the pain away, even for him. They were just whips and still, they had been given for hours now, and not even him could take so much without pausing.

He was so drowned in pain, nothing mattered anymore.

Anyone seeing what was going on in the undergrounds right now would have been not just horrified, but also disgusted.

Blood was staining the frame of the teen, from his pale face to his feet, matching the crimson colour of his hair; it was slowly dripping on the floor, pooling around the hanging frame as icy azure eyes, clouded by pain, followed its fall.

Would that ever end?

Another accurate whip, this time on the base of his neck, sent a wave of searing pain through his body, making him shake and twist; his body tried in vain to back away from the cause of his pain that was behind him, but being chained tightly didn't let him much space.

Thin lips pressed together to prevent his cries from coming out, muffling the painful groans; he would never give Boris the pleasure to hear him scream.

Never ever.

This was his 'reward' for losing the finals. Years spent to build up strength so to defeat once for all the BBA, carving the perfect bladers, making them train, suffer, and in the end, he lost. Completely.

Not to anyone, he lost to a stupid, pathetic team of losers. A team that barely managed to arrive to Russia, a team that no one believed to be able to win. A team of dumb, stupid kids always talking about friendship and faith… there was no faith in his life. No one he could trust except his BitBeast, no friend, no meaning but perfection.

Dumb teens not knowing what real life could be. What real pain could be.

And now, he was being whipped to death. Thinking about it, death was better than living this hell. Strange though, how familiar those words were… someone else said them to him once…

Azure icy eyes closed in self–mock. How could he let his mind wander when he was in such situation? He couldn't care less about a stupid but true line someone once said.

He was being punished.

As he concentrated again on his breathing, trying to forget the situation he was in –though it was almost impossible– he felt a soft touch in the back of his mind.

He knew who it was –Wolborg was trying to contact him. With a deep concentration and a lot of pain he managed to stead the connection between his Beast and himself, and a second later, he wasn't anymore in the room with Boris, but in a dark, welcoming void with Wolborg looking straight into his pain filled eyes.

The mighty Icy Wolf stared at his master, his entire frame shaking with anger at Boris, with pain and devotion towards the red haired teen that stood shakily before him. Crystals shining even in the darkness covered his slender and strong frame, icy greenish wings on his back, teeth bared in fury, only his bright clear eyes were mirrors of the Beast's soul, showing the care and the affection and the worry for the pained state Tala was in.

Wolborg did not speak, too worried to voice his thought aloud; he couldn't help his master because he was stuck in his BitChip, useless, and he hated not being able to jump at the Director's throat to kill him.

Tala had been the first friend Wolborg had ever had, the only one that could wield the ice power he brought, the only one who ever treated him not like a weapon but a friend, and now… his brother, his pack–mate, his master, was being hurt and he couldn't even reveal what was the cause of this, that he was…

The Cold Wolf stepped near silently, nuzzling his muzzle into Tala's hair affectionately, for a moment refusing to make contact with his master's eyes, feeling guilty.

But it still wasn't the time, and it wasn't his duty to tell him the truth. Wolborg licked Tala's cheek.

((Just remember, I'll always stay at your side Master, no matter what,)) the mighty Spirit whispered softly, closing his burning eyes.

Tala's lips melted into the faintest grin, his frame warming up by the gentleness of his closest friend; Wolborg was still with him, no matter his defeat. Instead of ruining it, the defeat by Tyson's hand strengthened their bond, and Tala felt he was one step further from Boris' will.

Tala was snapped harshly away from his mental connection by a particularly strong blow on his low back by his tormentor; the mask the man was wearing caused the bloody eyes to glow viciously, resembling two deep, satanic wells.

"(Our little Wolf is smiling…)" Boris smirked in delight. "(Then maybe the pain I am up to give him will make him smile more… enjoying this, my dear Tala?)"

Another blow, directed to the back of his head, caused a small whimper to leave Tala's throat, since the teen was left unprepared. He coughed twice, feeling a wet, sticky liquid trickle down his chin, his icy eyes sliding in and out of focus.

How could the director notice his ghostly grin?

What a monster…

"(Guess what, my young friend,)" Boris' voice was holding a definite satisfied tone. "(We will soon give you some company, as your friend shall be here in no time…)"

Tala collected the little strength he had left to look up in clear confusion at the Director of Balkov Abbey, not understanding. He was almost dead, in agony, but he couldn't possibly have misheard Boris' words.

Friend?

Tala never had friends. Apart from Wolborg, obviously. Not even his team mates were anything more than people he worked with… what was that wicked man rambling about?

His consciousness finally slipped away from his strained body, as his eyes rolled in the back of his head and he slumped forwards, the chains bound at his wrists preventing him from falling on the ground.

The huge wolf stared in pain at his master from his spot inside Tala's mind, narrowing his icy eyes, now filled with warmth.

He was soon to know.

Maybe… too soon…

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As in front of them appeared the giant structure that was Moscow Central Hospital, relief filled everyone's heart; Grandpa Granger raced through the street and stopped abruptly in front of the principal entrance, opening the bus' door as soon as the engine was down.

Bruce was obviously the first to come out, Kai clutched protectively at his chest as the younger teen shuddered from the sudden cold. The man rushed towards the entrance and entered, panting hard, frantically looking around for help.

The entrance hall was really huge, with lots of people busy with their works, doctors speeding around in a hurry, patients walking slowly up and down the corridors, visitors sat in the waiting room at one side of the hall.

A nurse passed near Bruce with a trail full of needles, and Tyson's father called for her, placing his free hand on her shoulder to attract her attention.

The woman turned her head, clearly pissed off by the interruption; as she spotted Kai's trembling and lifeless body in Bruce's arms, her brown eyes narrowed in seriousness and she hurried up to him.

She was tall, around Grandpa Granger's height, with bright orange hair curled at its end, and freckles on her little nose. She didn't seem Russian, her complexion not as pale as Kai's was. The only sign she was Russian was her speech, fluent with no trace of accent at all.

Her cool hand brushed against Kai's forehead, pulling it away with a hiss as she realized he was burning up with fever.

She motioned Bruce to follow her, "(What happened?)" she demanded to know, showing Bruce to lay Kai down a stretcher.

"(We found him lying on the floor of our bus, and he was like this,)" answered Tyson's father truthfully. "(We brought him here as soon as we could)".

She nodded curtly and pushed the stretcher away from them, calling a doctor. She disappeared behind one of the sliding doors, under the worried eyes of the rest of the BladeBreakers, Grandpa Granger, Mr. Dickinson and Bruce.

"Dad?" Tyson stepped forwards, his voice shaking. "Is he going to be ok?"

Bruce smiled down at his son, trying to look reassuring even if he was just as worried.

"Don't worry little dude," Grandpa Granger placed his hand on Tyson's shoulder. "Young dude is gonna be ok".

Mr. Dickinson glanced at the door the nurse pushed Kai through, his eyes sparkling with preoccupation; young Kai had been deprived of anyone's love for too long, enduring a life no one deserved. Being distanced by others because of his training…

'You have to be fine, young Kai,' Mr. Dickinson thought, tightening his fist. 'You have all of us, now'.

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The doctor called to visit Kai was a relatively young one, on his early thirties, with brown, spiky hair and brownish eyes, and he was a competent one, even if young. He wasn't new in the hospital, having had his apprentice here, and people respected him greatly.

He was one known to put his heart in his work, especially when young people were concerned.

When the nurse showed the fainted teen to him, he instantaneously knew something was wrong; and it wasn't the fact that he was burning with fever.

The teen's face was flushed and he was panting hard, sign that his lungs were not working properly, plus he was sweating and tossing around. Not a peaceful sleep. As the doctor lifted up the trembling body of the youth to place him on a bed, he could count the ribs in his frame, and he was astonished to find how lithe he was.

He pulled out a thermometer and carefully slid it into the teen's mouth, holding it with his hand so not to have him choke on it. Soon he could feel warmth under his fingers, followed then by a strong heat. He released the thermometer in shock, as it burnt his fingers, and he watched in awe as the red line of the thermometer continued raising, and rising, and rising and…

He slapped the thermometer out of the teen's mouth, staring in shock since it was way higher than normal –it was thrice the temperature he was expecting.

The teen with two toned hair started mumbling something incoherent under his breath, and the doctor snapped out of his shock, dropping the thermometer down the trail and turning his complete attention to him.

Kai wasn't anywhere near regaining his consciousness, and the doctor didn't know if he was allergic to anaesthetics, but he knew he needed to be sedated to prevent him from waking up during the visit.

"(Check on his heartbeat,)" he ordered to the nurse, not bothering to look up as he filled a needle with anaesthetic.

When he got no answer to his demand, he turned a disapproving look at the nurse, finding her staring in disbelief at the young teen's body. She'd taken away Kai's top to check better his vital signs, and ready to put him into a hospital's goat, but what she saw made her froze in her tracks.

The doctor approached, glaring annoyed at her, wondering what could have made the usual stoic nurse freak out like this; seeing the cause of her astonished and horrified expression, he paled.

This couldn't be possible.

He must have been dreaming…

Pinching his arm he gasped at the pain and shook his head in shock, he was not dreaming.

On the teen's frame ugly, purple bruises stood clearly against the pale complexion, from the base of his neck down to his navel, but they were not the only signs of abuse on his body. Scars, some longer, some shorter, traced his chest, together with some that looked like they hadn't fully healed.

The nurse had the guts to turn him carefully on his front, and gasped as Kai's back was exposed to their sight –covered with bruises, whip slashes, cuts and small, reddish bruises.

In short, his entire body was a mess.

"(What… what happened to him!)" the nurse screeched, taking a step back. "(Someone… whipped him!)"

The doctor swallowed and started visiting the fainted teen, careful not to brush against any of the bruises –which was hard since they covered up most of the body.

"(Call here the people who brought him here, would you?)" He asked darkly. "(They have a lot to explain)".

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MasterFranny: third chapter finished! To know what happens next you just need to review! Please, bring me some light to write more about darkness!

Kai: stupid name for the hospital.

MF: I know, but it was the first that came into my mind, and yes…

Kai: …the doctor and the nurse both think that the BladeBreakers or the adults were the ones who hurt me… dumb people…

MF: Kai… –shakes her head– forgive his bad mouth, his head still hurts. Review!