MasterFranny: ... ehm, here I am. Last chapter was dull though, but this one we turn back to the normality... I've a question: if I really change rating back to PG-13, would you all stop reading my fic? I really can't say the last chapter was that bad in rating terms so... and so sorry for the lateness... is this even a word... mmh... ?

I finally got the new number of Fruits Basket! They stopped publishing it at the 7th number and I was hopeless about a possible return but now it is here in my hands as I write, with the comforting weight it brings and I can't help but smile feeling really happy. I just love Furuba too much, I missed it greatly. You can't understand until you read it, so READ it, it's worthy! I can't help but love Kyou, the Neko. He's just too fucking cute, and his past is terribly bad. I know, all the members of the Souma's family have bad pasts, but still, Kyou is my fav. I love H tsuharu too, and Ayame... I can say I love them all (even Ritsu! ) except for Akito. I say he's completely insane, and still, there's something about him... oh, well, no spoilers please about new numbers, but if you want to talk a little with me about manga and anime or other things, I'd love to mail!

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Phyrefly: mmmh... really thank you, it's noce to hear you actually like you helping me. I'm really glad and I hope you will like my fic still and not think it's boring...

Werewolf of fire: hope you like this one too.

bffimagine: oh, I'm happy you like this. Geez, I love reviews! You're nice!

Rejiita: thank you really happy you liked it!

renanimeangel: thanks! Tala and Kai together? Did I said it was gonna be a Tala/Kai? ... just kidding, you will have to wait only one more chapter okay? Then you will start to have what you want.

Mr W: knowing you won't read this fic, it's annoying you review it. But I can't erase your one because it's another one in my review list and every review counts. But please go away and never come back! . anyone of you other reviewers who read this answer, don't think I'm bad with Mr. W, it's just that he's one of my school mates and he can't read english that well and he hates yaoi (obviously) he just likes to annoy me. So for revenge I sent him four hard yaoi pictures of Tala/Kai

shady gurl: here's the update, calm down I don't want one reviewer less because she's dead... --U

VoicesOfInsanity: wow, bows back really nice! Thanks! Hope you like this one too...

Imari: hope that you didn't meant it was boring. I actually like reading long chapters, it's rather disappointing when they're less than three pages long so I tried my best.

Kiaa-chan: wow blushes I can't say I didn't appreciate your compliments, but writing a real book.. i thought about it a lot, but even if (impossibility) it got published, it's not gonna be posted in other countries... wow, my ego boosted up! you liking my style! Wow, I'm still blushing, when I read your review I was floating in middair... oh good one, you're the only one who actually paid attention to the lacking adults and Kenny. They're important not now, but will be in the sequel. Mostly the fact they're all absent... augh, this was a spoiler and it's just for you because you're good. And... I mentioned it yes, the D-Boys' eyes are Bronze, rust and jade (I think I mentioned only Bronze for now) Tala's silver and Kai's gold. Kawaii Kai plushie... thanks!

Blazin Shadow: geez, I love being complimented, it helps me boosting up my ego. I don't think I deserve that much compliments, but still I'm happy! Hope you too update soon.

Kammyh: just wait till two chapters.

Sorekai: here it is!

Elves of the Moon: geez, thank you! However you can't review twice the same chapter when you log in. You reviewed last one, don't worry! I love reading your reviews, I'm too thinking of ways to kill Boris and Voltaire... mh... maybe use pitchforks and starved dogs... '''hope you like this chapter too, but do you realize that I wrote almost 5 chapters so that means 7 or 8 weeks and you still didn't updated your fic?! I'm dying to know what happens! picks up giant fork this will do as threatening...

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RATING: R... still waiting for reply

DISCLAIMER: I do not own sees Kai walking around gotcha! jumpes on Kai, misses aim, falls over Boris yuck! I DO NOT WANT TO OWN HIM! NONONONONO!

"talking"

'thinking'

" talking into other languages "

beatbeast language

""""""dreams sequences, flashbacks, memories""""""

BREATH OF LIGHT

CHAPTER 10 No hope but to dream...

Wait, only one word

I want to say I'm sorry,

I want you to understand:

don't turn your face away,

I need your care;

can you ever feel that darkness

the one who was owner of all my thoughts,

can you ever see I was wrong,

but I want to fix my errors?

"""""" (Start Dream)

" Breathe slowly, don't try to move ".

A soft voice reached his consciousness and he complied, his whole body feeling numb from the cold. He tried to will his eyes open and after some vain attempts, managed to.

The first thing he saw was a blurred face right above him. The room all around him was warm and small and it was comforting. The heat that he felt helped him relax as he sighed, looking up.

His sight cleared and he could see the face over him better: it was a young boy, around nine, with green hair and violet eyes, and he was looking at Kai with concern.

Kai narrowed his eyes slightly as the boy smiled warmly at him. He had always wondered why he was so nice with him, so nice that he accepted Boris' treatments for the sake of helping them all. He was sure he would never do such a thing, but then again, for someone like Kiya, he would.

" You know I have to be angry at you " Kiya said grimacing. " I know you like to go out, but this season is too cold for your body to take. Today it was below twenty ".

Kiya helped him sit comfortably on the sheets and Kai groaned slightly as a pair of hands from nowhere popped out with a mug of hot tea. The sweet scent trailed to Kai's sensitive nostrils and he wrinkled his nose in disgust, the sweet thing nauseating him. He was more of a coffee lover than a tea fan. Hot,black coffee with no milk or sugar.

" I hate tea " he mumbled, taking the mug and looking at it with a pout.

" But you have to drink it, it will make your body gain back its heat " Kiya reasoned with a warm voice. " Besides, you make us worry you know? You're still not accustomed to your... "

" God, I'm so sorry. It was all my fault! " a voice spoke from somewhere near the bed he was lying on.

Kai turned his head just a bit and looked at his right, finding a bulge of red hair and teary eyes.

He shook his head quickly, but that only managed to hurt him more.

" It's not your fault, Yuri " he sniffed, taking a sip of tea. " It was me who convinced you to go out ".

" But... " Yuri sniffed.

" No buts, Yu " stopped him Kiya. " It's all Kai's fault, period ".

Kai looked up at Kiya's face, thinking again at how much he cared for them all.

He never got angry with them, he never scolded them, and he was always trying to help them from Boris... though he was in their same situation. But being the older boy who'd survived the director's special treatment, he was stronger than them all.

Kai snuggled under the blankets, enjoying the warmth they gave to him, and sighed.

He loved the snow, even if now it was so dangerous for him, because his mother loved it too. He couldn't remember her clearly, and the memories became blurrier each day, since she died too soon, but one thing remained in Kai's heart: her love for the snow.

He loved it too, and he was determined to grow stronger so the cold wouldn't hurt him anymore.

" Kai... " Kai turned to the sad face of his best friend with a questioning glance. " I decided something. "

Kiya blinked at the younger boy, but remained silent as well as Kai, his eyes fixed on the red haired boy.

" You know, the day I came here and I met you... " Yuri looked away, remembering clearly what he saw " I was used to street life, I thought I was strong and brave. "

Kai frowned: where was this leading?

" Then I found out I was the perfect lab rat for Boris, and he changed me " he pressed his lips together so hard they turned white. " You know at the start I didn't accept it, you know how much I fought against Boris. "

" Yeah, but after a while, you accepted who you now are " Kai said, his voice confused. " So what's the matter? "

" I'm not who I was before " Yuri glanced at Kiya hesitantly. " I'm different, and I can't help but feel bad; I don't remember anything about my parents, but I'm sure they would be really disgusted if they knew who I was turned into. "

" I'm sure they wouldn't be disgusted! " Kai protested, growling. " Parents love their children... besides, you are you, no matter what you become during your life. "

Yuri shook his head, a bitter smile lingering on his lips as his eyes met with the red ones of his friend. He had thought a lot about it and he was sure about his decision: what he was now, what Boris had moulded him to be, wasn't the boy he had been before.

" Yuri was killed when Boris put me on that table " he whispered. " That's why I asked the director to change my name. "

Kai looked astonished, as well as Kiya, but the older one grimaced without complaining: even if he didn't share the Wolf's thoughts, he could understand what was going in his mind. He knew that Yuri felt different now, and he felt the responsibility of being what he was, and the weight of knowing he wasn't the same Yuri that entered the Abbey the first time.

He couldn't accept his weaknesses even if they were hidden behind his new strengths, one of them being his inability to protect Kai from his own fire spirit.

" I will be stronger " Yuri said, his tone echoing in the room. " I'm not Yuri anymore, the pathetic boy who arrived at the Abbey, abandoned by his parents. To make sure of that, I need to become someone different, to start anew so I can be strong. Can you understand? "

Kai frowned. It wasn't easy, but he accepted Yuri's decisions. He was Boris' first experiment, but even after all he went through, even after his changes, even after the pain he suffered, the rejections, the hate, he was proud to be called Kai. His mother named him, and he would keep that name in his heart forever, even if she wasn't with him anymore. He refused to think his mother would hate him for what he had become, and this thought remained strong, helping him accept his new being.

But Yuri was different, and if he wanted to separate from his past, to start a new life without feeling like a monster, than Kai was willing to help him.

" So... what's this new name you're thinking about right now? " Kai managed to smirk. " Is it Wolfie? Or Fluffy? "

Yuri growled.

" I asked Boris to call me... Tala. "

"""""" (End Dream)

Kai opened his eyes in a flash, his heart bumping fast in his throat, and tried to calm down.

The dream was still playing in his mind, as if it had happened minutes before, and it was so vivid he couldn't negate its meaning anymore.

He knew Tala.

Tala was Yuri, the boy of his dreams, the one who was in the Abbey with him when he was younger.

A wave of intense pain reminded him where he was one moment later as he dared to move his numb wrist. He knew that the flesh would be awfully ruined and burned, the blood he lost and the benzine having cut the flesh to the bone. He wasn't sure he could stand the sight.

He still felt the incisor running deep into his body, spilling blood away, and the sadistic face of his tormentor looking with satisfaction down at him. He cringed, but then slowly turned his head to his right, taking a deep breath to prepare himself. He was sure he wouldn't be blading anytime soon, maybe never again.

He was expecting blood, burnt skin, bones in clear view. But he wasn't expecting what he actually saw.

Nothing.

His wrists looked like nothing had happened, the skin was pinker than usual, but there were no signs of burns or other such things. The leather restraints were, however, unrecognizable, completely burned by the fire. The awful smell of benzine was still there, and the blood too, but that was all.

No deep scars, no wounds or exposed bones, no nothing.

He pulled his wrist again, and this time he ripped off the last piece of the leather cuffs. He was free.

Kai looked astonished at his wrist, his eyes wide as he remembered the intense pain of the fire burning his arms, the blood running, the electrical waves, the incisor... it wasn't a nightmare, it had happened, it had really happened! But then, why he did he seem new? Why could he still feel the pain –it too, slowly fading – even though there wasn't signs of the torture he went through?

His breath quickened but he willed himself to calm down as he looked around the room: as promised, the other D-Boys had been punished too. Bryan was lying on his side, his back exposed to Kai's gaze, and he cringed slightly seeing the slashes the leash left on his skin. Ian and Spencer were in similar conditions, their clothes ripped and torn, but they seemed a lot better than him.

Tala, on the other hand, was far worse than them -but not at Kai's point-: he looked like he had gone through a treatment similar to Kai's, but lighter, his scars standing out clearly on his pale body.

Tala... Yuri.

The dream came back to Kai's mind as he looked nervously at the others, not knowing why he was searching for their breathing so frantically, but there they were, still alive.

Tala was Yuri.

And yet, what did that mean? If they knew each other in their childhood, he didn't care a bit.

" You scared us " the boy's voice, Kiya's, was heard in his mind as if he was near him at the moment.

He sounded so caring, so worried, he sounded like he was a friend... who was Kiya, why he was dreaming of him?!

Kai closed his eyes tightly, hiding his face in his hands as to block the thoughts out, and then he looked up again as his eyes noticed something strange.

On Bryan's back there were five long slashes, from his shoulders to the top of his pants.

But one second before... there were six.

Kai narrowed his eyes as his pupils turned into slits. He glanced at Tala and paled considerably.

The flesh... the skin... was moving. He couldn't explain it that well, but it was moving, and the wounds were healing themselves like in some horror movie. He watched as a huge wound disappeared, first the skin reunited, then the scar started to clear until it was again smooth, pale skin.

Kai opened his mouth in disbelief, but no words came out for the shock. On Bryan, Ian and Spencer's bodies same things were happening, and in a flash Kai had the instinct to back away from them, they weren't human. They were healing too fast, like they were some kind of monsters... then a thought occurred to him: he was surely dreaming.

He bit his finger 'till the point of drawing blood, but the pain was real, he wasn't sleeping.

He looked down at his finger, enraptured by the blood, his mind completely frozen by the fact that it wasn't a dream, and then he yelped in fear as he saw the same thing that was happening to the others happen to his finger.

The blood dried out, the skin moved, and he felt a slight tingle run through his whole arm as the little wound closed itself.

The same tingle that he felt in his back while he was running away from the hospital.

He paled as his hand started to tremble in fear, that had happened already: in the hospital, his scars disappeared and Mr. Dickinson couldn't see them again.

That was the same thing, just faster. He was healing thirty, forty, maybe even fifty times faster than what was humanly possible. His breath became erratic as he finally understood why Boris wanted him back, why his own grandfather wanted him back here.

He closed his eyes, feeling weak again; he was feeling like inside him there were two strong forces fighting for dominance, he could actually feel them fight, he could feel it inside his heart, and it was rather painful. His sight blurred slightly and he realized he was getting sick again, just like before.

He tried to stand up, breathing deeply, but a wave of nausea hit him as he fell back on the table, coughing.

An intense heat was spreading from his fingers to his arms, reaching his legs and chest, but it was nothing like the burning sensation of the fire or the feeling of the serum Boris had injected in him. The heat was quite pleasurable, like someone hugging him, comforting him.

He closed his eyes, groaning as the heat reached his neck and then his face, making him cough as it blocked his breath. He clutched the surface of the table tightly and tried in vain to take a breath but no air reached his lungs; he felt like he was suffocating and coughed hard, feeling ever so dizzy and light-headed, and then it all went black again.

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Tyson groaned in pain as he received a kick right in the ribs, and coughed hard, trying to stand up again but failing as another punch reached his stomach.

Max looked with tears in his eyes as his best friend fought hard to free himself, with no avail; Ray too was fighting madly, and he was the harder to stop as he punched and kicked and jumped like a angry wildcat, showing all his skills in the fight. Johnny was nothing less; using all his skills -again, boxing lessons proved to be really useful- to knock out all the guards that he could, but it was a hopeless battle.

They had been attacked not too far from the entrance door, because they hadn't thought about cameras inside the place.

Max was the first to give up, falling into one guard's arms as the man blocked him. Tyson and the others jumped on the guards like crazy to help him, but the American teen had already known it was hopeless.

There were too many guards inside that place, and they were strong, and now the BladeBreakers and Johnny were prisoners of that place too.

Max whined as he saw Tyson fall on his back crying in pain, blocked by two guards, while Ray and Johnny were too. It seemed like their plan had backfired on them.

One of the men ordered something in Russian and the others nodded, rushing the teens down the corridor, passing many cells and dim lights to reach a cage. Max widened his eyes in disbelief as he saw Lee, Michael and Robert in the prison, looking darkly at them. Lee and Michael looked messed up just like

Tyson and even Robert had some scratches. Then the men threw them inside too, closing the door shut behind them.

"What happened?" Tyson coughed, still hurt from the punches. "They caught you outside?"

"Yeah Mr. Smart," growled the White Tiger's leader. "We were outnumbered."

Robert growled but remained silent; the whole thing was deeply embarrassing for him since he made all the others get caught so easily.

Michael passed his fingers through his hair, sighing. "It looks like we need to find a way to come out of this thing, if we really want to save Kai and ourselves."

Ray narrowed his eyes, remembering the ear-piercing scream they had heard not too long ago, and was hit by a wave of guilt: they had tried to save Kai and had gotten caught too, what help they were...

A sudden creak alarmed the teens, who turned in a flash towards the door, their bodies ready to react. They were confronted by the evil smirk of the most hated person in the world: Boris Balkov.

"How nice of you to come here right when the party is about to begin," was all the director said in his mellifluous tone "I'm afraid that you can't see Kai right now, however." Under the grey mask the devil grin widened more, resembling the snake that'd caught the mouse. "He's really busy at the time being."

"What did you do to Kai, you fucking bastard!?" Tyson jumped up and darted for Boris, but Ray blocked him in time to prevent the teen from touching the adult.

It was a wise move since two guards were pointing their guns at them, ready to shoot at the slightest attempt to hurt the director.

"Tch tch tch, I thought you know some manners," said Boris reprovingly, shaking his head. "I didn't do anything to my dear Kai, well, just reacquainted myself with him a bit, since we couldn't talk properly in the last few weeks."

There was something deeply wrong in his tone and all the teens knew at once that the director had hurt their friend. Besides, the howl of pain was still vivid in their minds.

"You sick bastard," this was Johnny. "Don't you dare to touch him ever again, understand?!"

"You're not in a position to threat me, are you, Johnny McGregor?" Boris' tone dropped ten degrees. "I won't touch him, actually the process already started and in no time he will once again be my prized weapon... besides, you may want to know that you're wasting time here, trying to save a monster."

"He's NOT a monster!" yelled Ray, baring his fangs.

Robert remained silent, listening carefully to the speech, frowning; he was still deep in thought about the strange behaviour the D-Boys had -by Ray's story- and the few other things the 'Breakers had told him. Boris spoke about a process already started, and Kai being a monster, and thinking about glowing eyes and changing colours, there was really something strange in the situation.

"You did something to Kai, didn't you?" Robert asked, his voice equally cold. "Something that involves BitBeasts."

Boris was taken aback: he was surprised that one of the morons had actually managed to understand the situation with so few tips, but then again, that one was the oldest, smartest, and held one powerful and wise Spirit.

He suppressed a scowl and smirked.

"I must admit I'm impressed," he said slowly. "But it's time to get going, the Project can't wait... so I think you all must remain here until it's all done. Goodbye, my young boys."

Boris left with no other words and the teens turned to Robert in awe and confusion.

"What the heck do you mean?!" Johnny asked, stupefied. "Beasts involved in what?"

Robert sighed. He still didn't know a thing about the stuff happening in the Abbey, but he had a really bad feeling about it all.

"We need to find Kai," he hissed, narrowing his eyes. "I can't even think about what Kai's going through."

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As he returned to consciousness Ian blinked tiredly, feeling really weary. He knew his body worked hard to heal during his light sleep, and he could still feel a dumb pain from the now disappeared slashes on his back.

He tried to clear his mind as he looked around, easily breaking the leather restraints, jumping from the table to the ground. On his side there was Bryan, Spencer and Tala already awake, and he sprinted towards them, stopping when he caught what they were looking at: on the last table there was Kai, still unconscious, but burning up. He looked like he would die right there by fever, and Ian felt despair build in his heart.

As well, the others were bickering again.

" What do you mean by 'he's a friend'?! " Tala was yelling, the situation they were in completely forgotten. " He's our enemy! He's nothing but a traitor, and you are still trying to help him?! "

Bryan growled in exasperation and rolled his eyes: if the whole amnesia thing was pretty useful until now, at the present moment it was getting on his nerves; Kai needed all the help they could give him, since the fever was clearly eating him up from the inside, not to add that they all knew why he was ill.

Tala now needed to remember, he needed to have his memory back, he needed to know.

" Tala " Spencer took a step towards his captain, but the Wolf glared at him with hatred. " Tala, please, I know you're starting to remember, just let your memories come back. "

Tala growled, his eyes meeting with the other Demolition Boys', but he found the same fierce message in all of them, and he shook his head hard, his dream coming back clear in his mind.

" I'm not Kai's friend! " He yelled. " I hate him! "

Bryan was so fast that not even Tala's sharp eyes caught the movement. He stepped forwards and in a flash he punched hard Tala at his right eye, causing the red haired teen to fall on the ground at immediately. Bryan stood high before him, his eyes glowing with determination and deep concern.

" Tala, this is not you, " he said, his tone low. " You know, deep inside, you know, so just wake up. "

Tala blinked. He had never seen Bryan so angry, his emotions running deep towards the fallen teen. The Falcon's eyes were wide and the pupils were so thin they were almost invisible, the colour was changing rapidly from his usual clear to a strange copper.

Not even in his match against Ray had he been so out of control.

" This is not something Kiya would have liked to see " Bryan was so furious he was trembling with suppressed rage. " He was so happy to see you and Kai together, he was helping us all, and I can't just let Boris ruin what was our friendship! For him, because he loved us all, for you both, because you're more than brothers, for us, because we can't stand this situation anymore! "

Bryan slammed his fist on the wall and pressed his lips so they turned white. He was still trembling, and Ian and Spencer merely looked at him in awe: this was something new to all of them, but at the same time, they shared his opinion. Kiya had wanted them to be united, and now, they were each separate, all because of Voltaire and Boris.

It seemed that without Kiya, they were nothing...

And then, it happened.

In the sudden silence that fell in the room, Tala closed his eyes, clutching his head in pain; it was like a mirror crashed, sending broken pieces all over his mind, each piece was a memory he thought he never had.

It was like an infinite stream, continuous, and it was so strong he thought he would get lost in it, losing his sanity in the past events he was recollecting from his shattered mind.

He fell on his hands, clenching his fists as he tried to stop the massive weight of memories, but with no avail, one by one, he was remembering them all, the pain, the tortures, the experiments, but also the friendship, the care...

The love.

He shuddered; opening his eyes again, weary like he had swum three miles in cold water, and he took a trembling breath, feeling exhausted. He glanced up at the faces of his mates who were looking at him with fear and concern, and he willed himself to stand up again.

His face showed nothing as his azure eyes passed the faces of Bryan, Ian and Spencer, stopping on Kai's shuddering form once again.

" Kai... " it was a mere whisper, but all the D-Boys heard it in the sudden silence, and Tala's eyes filled with tears as he run towards his long lost friend, crying aloud and holding his hand.

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MasterFranny: that was it. You know that I'm near 100 reviews? I can't believe it, the fabulous mark! Wow, keep reviewing, I'm so near!

Bye, READ AND REVIEW!!!!

PS for my other fic "Just Say it", please, bear with me, I'm occurring a serious writer's block. I know what to write, but I don't know how to write it down.

PPS have you ever bumped into this stupid new anime? (No pun intended to all the people who actually like it) Duel Masters? It's completely horrible! It has a character that is the copy of Kenny aka Chief, and something about the serie rassemble me BeyBlade, and it has cards like Yu-Gi-Oh! and it's a clear copy to these two series: monster cards, spirits (the only difference is that to attack you have to change position to the card to the left)... blah; so I'm sorry to those who like it, but I think it's a shame that this thing exist (don't hate me please! Aaaaah! Gomenasai if I'm saying what I think! Gomenasai minna-san! AAAH! GOMENASAIIII!)

Ehm.

Cough. Read and review.

PPS I found on the net four pictures about Tala/Kai a little hard... I mean they're actually doing it but it's not explicit. It's with japanese words so if you want it or you know how to translate kanji, mail me.