Disclaimer: I do not own anything House, M.D. except the season one box set. I own no copyrights and do not intend to make money off of this. I do this because it is fun. So no sue. I have no money anyway.

Summary: 100 word ficlets about pretty much whatever I can think of. I'm going in alphabetical order, picking a word and then kind of writing a story around it. This is my first House fic, so I'm trying to keep the characters in character, as they ought to be, but hey, I'm not a good writer so I'm sure some OOC may rear its ugly head, though I will try to keep it to a minimum. I hope you enjoy it!


Dead

"Come on…jump over the river! Get on the lily pad! No, no, no, no, NO! Stupid! Jump AWAY from the little turtle dudes, not run into them. Is it that diffi…"

"Um, excuse me?"

"Yeah, hold on…come on…duck UNDER the fireballs!"

"Doctor? Are you going to finish my hemorrhoid exam anytime in the near future?"

"Shut up, I'm at the Boss…argh, just a few more minutes and I could have him beat…yeah, jump OVER the big flaming stick…"

"But my hemorrhoids, they really itch!"

"Oh put some Preparation H on them and go watch the Lifetime Channel. Crap, Mario's dead."