Loving the Hard Times

Chapter 4

a/n- I don't remember exactly what happened in the show, but in my story Pacey does graduate with everyone….Thanks for the reviews I love them! Sorry it took me so long to update…Alright here goes….

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters or anything from Dawsons Creek….this is just my attempt to write about them…

I feel hot and sticky in this ridiculous navy blue gown. I have had to move these stupid golden tassels out of my eyes all day. Despite the discomfort there is a certain excitement in the air and I can't help but smile.

Dawson is standing in front of our big group of people pointing in different directions, telling everyone where to stand; "Bodie stand on the far right, Bessie go in front of him. A little more to the right…..ok stop…good. Mr. Witter go next to Bodie, Mrs. Witter in front of him. Ok umm dad why don't you stand next to Mr. Witter and mom, go in front of dad. Mr. Mcfee stand next to my dad and Doug go next to him. Grams stand next to my mom, and Gretchen you get to be in front of your big brother. Alright now for us…Jo kneel in front of Bessie, Pacey you're next to Joey…..I'll be next to you. Then Jen, Jack and Andie on the end. Alexander why don't you stand next to Joey. Ok guys this looks really good. Remember to smile!"

Everyone has their arms draped over eachothers shoulders and waists. I feel Joey crouch down a little lower and turn to see Alex stretching his little arm straining to get it over her shoulder. She turns to me and gives me one of her famous crooked smiles before Dawson notices and yells at us to "Stop looking at each other and look at the camera." I roll my eyes as I turn back towards the camera saying, "Wouldn't wanna ruin your master piece D-man."

"Good" He replies absently while fooling around with the camera, probably setting the timer.

Finally he runs over to us, and settles into the empty space waiting for him to fill up. Everyone stays in their pose with smiles plastered on their faces until the flash and then the chaos returns. All of us "graduates" throw our hats into the air, something I gladly welcome. Finally those damn tassels are out of my face.

Joey has a huge smile on her face and I reach down and grab her hand, pulling her to the side away from everyone.

"Thank you" I say.

"For what?" She asks looking at me wondering what I am talking about.

"For being you, and for not letting me be my usual slacker self"

Then she takes her hands and puts them around my neck pulling herself closer, "Awh I knew you could do it Witter, you just needed to have some external motivation from a girl who can kick your ass" She said grinning, but then her eyes became serious as she said, "I am really proud of you Pace."

Then I closed the rest of the distance between us and kissed her, I will never get tired of these lips.

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While just about everyone else in our class was out partying and getting wasted we decided on a movie night. Dawson and I do things like this, and we act normal, but it always seems forced. I really do miss having him as a friend. I know our news is not going to help make things any better between us, but the longer we wait the worse it will be.

Joey and I are walking over to Dawson's house, her fingers are intertwined with mine. I love how her hands feel so perfect in mine. Every touch, every look, every smile I am reminded of how much I love her.

I stop walking before we get too close to his house and she looks at me questioningly.

"Whatcha doing Pace?"

I take a deep breath, I know she is not going to like what I am about to say but I know it has to be said. " I think we should tell everyone tonight."

She shakes her head as she says, "Not tonight, it's our graduation night."

"When are we all going to be in the same room again? Andie and Jack are leaving tomorrow to go to France with their Dad, and Dawson is going to California next week. This is our chance Jo."

She looks up at me with those eyes. Admitting without words that she knows I am right, but doesn't like it.

"It will be ok, we are going to do it together and they will understand."

"Dawson wont." She says quietly.

"He might not right away, but everything will be ok in the end."

"How do you know?"

"Because if it's not ok, then it's not the end. You will work things out. I promise. Come on Jo we can do it, and we can wait until after the movies if it makes you feel better."

"It does" She states matter of factly.

Then I take the hand that is in hers and swing it over her shoulder so that she is in my arms.

"I love you Potter." I whisper into her ear.

A huge smile spreads instantly across her face as she turns and looks into my eyes saying, "Love you too Witter."

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Jack, Andie, and Jen are laying on their stomachs on Dawson's bed with their heads resting on their hands. Dawson is sitting in a chair in the corner and Pacey and I are in front of the bed on the floor. He is behind me and I am sitting in between his legs. I lean back into him and rest my head on his shoulder. His arms are around me and I feel completely content in the moment.

That is until I realize the end of ET is coming soon.

I don't know why I am so worried about telling them. I mean we have told Bessie, Doug, Gretchen and Pacey's parents and made it out alive. Well none of those were easy, but why does telling our friends seem even more difficult? Shouldn't it be easier? I guess I know the answer to my question and it is the boy sitting in the chair behind me. He has been my best friend for as long as I can remember and I still feel terrible for hurting him. I love Pacey completely, that is one thing I am sure of, but I don't want to lose Dawson as a friend again. I can see this pushing him over the edge. Why do things have to be so complicated? "Ugh" I sigh and realize Pacey has been watching me not watch the movie and knows exactly what I was thinking about. He tightens his arms around me, and moves his thumbs gently up and down on my arms. It actually makes me feel a little better. Atleast until the credits begin to roll.

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Dawson is rewinding the movie and everyone is shifting around getting ready to go. Pacey reaches for my hand and pulls me up off the ground. I feel like I am going to be sick. He never lets go of my hand as he begins to speak, "Joey and I have something to tell all of you. Dawson you might want to sit down."

Dawson's head quickly turns in our direction. He looks thoroughly confused. "Is anything wrong?" He asks sounding concerned.

"No, not exactly." I say hesitantly. I can't believe this is so hard. The words just wont come out, so I let Pacey take the lead.

He glances at me and I can tell he is asking if I am ready which I definitely am not, but I nod anyways.

He runs his fingers through his hair and starts to talk, "Ok well I could make a big speech and take forever to get to my point, but I don't think that will help any so I am just going to say it. Joey and I….we are going to have a baby, due the end of November."

The room was completely silent for a few seconds. Jen was first to move. She came over to me and pulled me into a hug saying, "Congratulations" and then moved to Pacey to do the same. This seemed to cause Jack and Andie to come out of their comatose state and they both came over and did the same. I actually started to think that everything was going to be ok until I noticed Dawson was no longer in the room….