Loving the Hard Times

Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Same as before…I don't own anything!

Joey ran after Dawson. Of course she ran after Dawson. She always does, probably always will. I'm not mad. It's never that I am mat at her for wanting things to be good between them. I just let my damn insecurities get into my head. I know it's ridiculous. She loves me, she does. I know what we have is real. So why do I feel awful right now? Why do I feel like there is a part of her that thinks she has made a mistake being with me? Why is there a part of me that wonders if she feels trapped in this relationship because of the baby? I have to stop thinking like this. I always let Dawson get to me. Thinking like this will only lead to bad things. Joey can always tell when something is wrong with me even if I try to hide it, and she will want to talk about it and I will say things I don't mean. I don't want that to happen. I am brought out of my thoughts when Jen puts her hand on my shoulder and says confidently, "She loves you Pace."

How does she always know what is going on? Her words actually bring me some comfort and I say, "Thanks Lindley" and give her a smile.

"Any time Pace. Now about the baby, I am so excited! Are you going to find out if it is a boy or a girl?"

"No, Joey doesn't want to so I guess we are just going to wait."

"Well I just want you two to know that I am here for you. Whatever you need."

"Did I ever tell you how much I like you Jennifer?"

"I dunno Pacey how much? And don't call me Jennifer."

"This much Jennifer." I say stretching my arms as far as I can like a little kid does. I probably look ridiculous. She punches me in the arm and I say, "That is hardly a way to treat a person who just told you they like you this much." Copying what I just did.

She just rolls her eyes and states, "You called me Jennifer again, you deserved it."

"I see, ok I will never call you that again…..Jennifer." I smirk, and see her get ready to punch me again so I say, "Hey Lindley, you know I can't control my actions."

"Whatever you say Pace. Why don't you just walk me home. Jack was supposed to but those two had to rush home to go to Paris tomorrow."

"That I can do, lets go." I say offering my arm.

She takes it and says, "Tell Joey to call me tomorrow."

"Will do."

I dropped Jen off, and realized she managed to get my mind off of Dawson and Joey. How does she do that?

I turn around to see Joey walking off the dock and she looks upset. Jen is quickly forgotten. All I can think about is what he said to her to make her so sad and the sudden urge I have to punch him and make her feel better.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

I see him sitting on the end of the dock, with his feet dangling over the edge. I watch him for a few seconds, willing my feet to move. I sit down next to him and he doesn't even look at me. He starts to speak coldly, "I can't deal with you right now Joey."

"We have to talk about it sometime Dawson."

"I just need to think. I cant do this now, just go Joey."

I can feel my eyes getting heavy with unshed tears. I fight to hold them back as I say, " You know, I always thought your best friend was suppose to be there to support you in hard times." I close my eyes and take a deep breath before I finish, "I could really use my best friend right now." Then I get up and walk back towards his house finally letting the tears fall.

I see Pacey drop Jen off and attempt to wipe the tears from my eyes. I know he will be able to tell I am upset even if I try to hide it.

He comes close to me and I know I still have tears running down my face. He takes his thumbs and gently wipes them away, kissing my forehead and pulls me into a hug. I melt into him, I love how he always makes me feel so safe. He speaks softly, "Want to go home?"

"Do you think it would be ok if we went to your house?" I whisper. I don't think Bessie will be too upset considering I am planning on moving into his house in a few weeks anyways, and honestly I don't really care right now. I just want to be with the man I love tonight.

"Do you have to ask Potter? Lets go." He says taking my hand in his and we walk together over the damp grass to his car.

A/N ok so this chapter is pretty much tiny. Sorry bout that. I have been very busy lately. I'm going out east for a hockey tournament until the 20th so there probably won't be much for updates until after then. Please keep reviewing!