Haha I'm back...I thought I could take over SquareEnix with my little hiatus, yet, it didn't work. SO the same still goes as follows:
I own squat.
SquareEnix owns everything, including your soul. All rights go to them and I want pickles.
FINAL FANTASY TACTICS
SOBNATWA
Chapter Ver. 3.2
"The magical city of Gariland... You would think with so many magical beings and wizards there they could fend for themselves. But nooooo, they just HAD to keep getting captured by low level thieves. Whatever..."
"What the hell are you rambling about?" Delita asked the cadet next to him, rambling about this and that.
"The defense security of Gariland of course! Convicted thieves up for execution making a last stand? What the hell do they have to gain? Or to lose? Are they just nimrods with nothing else better to do? So what if they're angry at society. I get angry at society, and I'm not just going to start running through town acting like a complete dork, making completely lazy cadets, such as myself, come run after them."
"Be quiet," Ramza demanded, "we're getting easy exp here."
The band of cadets marched easily into Gariland, because obviously, it has no defenses what so ever, making easy passage into the town. Fear struck into the eyes of Ramza's comrades, as it was probably their first actual battle. Ramza knew the fate of his allies were in his hands. They made their way to the town square, where the band of thieves have been causing most of the havoc.
"Ramza?" one of the cadets asked.
"What is it?" Ramza asked quickly.
"I...I want to know something. You know, before I die."
"There's no proof that you're going to die," Ramza said quietly..."Unless...you know, you're retarded enough to let your number bubble go down to zero."
"Huh?" the cadet asked with a puzzled expression.
"Er...nothing."
"Anyway...why the hell did the academy only give me a dagger, while they gave my friend here a sword?"
Ramza sighed, finally putting a hand on the young cadets soldiers. "There's something we have to tell you. Nobody really likes you, and as a joke they gave you a dagger, hoping you'd just die for a good laugh."
"A-Are you serious?" The cadet asked, his eyes beginning to water.
"No of course not!" Ramza said with a laugh. "It's just a shortage of gil and equipment."
"Oh...okay," the cadet said with a smile, falling back into line. Delita moved next to Ramza, leaning over to whisper, "he fall for it?"
"Heheh, yeah..." Ramza said with a smile.
The cadets finally made it to the square, several buildings lining the area with a small water canal running beside the road. The thieves looked beyond bored, as some found themselves on rooftops acting as though they could fly. Finally the leader spotted their new threat, jumping up turning white as a sheet. The color in his cheeks returned however, as his cocky attitude began to arise as he scanned his enemy.
"What's this? Just a bunch of kids!" the leader smirked. "What luck...! Okay, all we have to do is kill these kids! Then, we can escape! Don't you worry! We'll kill every one of you!"
The little kids playing in the water canal ran away in complete fear for their lives. Ramza, letting the kids pass by, slowly shook his head at the leader. "Escape? There's no fucking security here! You could've left hours ago!"
"Yeah well...I'm..." the leader began to trail off.
"You're what?"
"I'm..."
"What!"
"I'M LOST OKAY!"
The other thieves looked at their boss in disbelief. One of them walking up to him in question. "But...you said we were hear to steal gil and hookers."
"Hey! He told ME we were hear for balloons!"
"And he told me I was going to be executed so I followed him for no reason..."
"I like puppies!"
The thieves began to squabble amongst one another until finally the music began to play. Everyone began to look at their feet in utter shock as their feet began to move on their own. Thus, the fight begun.
One of the thieves moved first, running down the road straight at the heroes like a complete retard as another jumped in the water canal, splashing happily towards his oncoming doom. Delita saw his moment and walked forward, ready to counter against the charging retarded thief. The thief now seeing Delita came to a screeching halt, slamming right into him making the number 21 appear above his head in grey numbers. "Dammit," he muttered under his breath, "that one shouldn't of even counted."
Delita suddenly turned around, facing Ramza. "Ramza! Watch out! Don't rush them!"
Ramza slowly blinked at his friend, "But...it's...not my turn yet. I haven't moved from this spot, despite my ambitious feet...But! Don't patronize me, Delita! I'm also a Belouve! Master of the dance!"
The thief shook his head in disgust, "Beoulve! THE Beoulve family! So you must be cadets from the military academy! Snot-nosed little nobles!"
"Actually..." Delita muttered, "I'm just dirt poor with good connections..."
"What?"
"Nothing..."
"SILENCE!" Ramza shouted, "surrender or die of obscurity!"
"By...obscurity...do you mean being stabbed?" one of the thieves asked.
"...Yes." Ramza muttered.
"Well, what can a bunch of kids like you do? Buncha spoiled punks like you'll never beat us!"
"Okay...first off," Ramza said, holding up a finger, "spoiled punks? It's called a MILITARY ACADEMY you dumb shit. It's no walk in the freakin' park. And you? You're some poor hobo that's supposed to be executed for trying to steal some old ladies purse or something, and now your prancing around town threatening to destroy little kids. I mean, can't you get a life or something?"
"SHUT UP!" the leader shouted.
"No seriously," Ramza continued, "this place has no guards, no force or army what so ever, and yet you still can't escape. And you're threatening us that you'll beat us? I mean I bet this guy over here with a dagger can take out all of you."
"W-What?" the cadet with the dagger stammered. "Ramza, don't-"
"Yeah!" Delita said, "he can take you all on!"
Every single person turned and looked at the lone cadet with the dagger of destruction. He slowly gulped, holding his dagger towards his enemies. All at once they charged forward, screaming at the cadet with the dagger. All the other cadets, including Ramza and Delita, backed away to watch the show. Suddenly, however, a spark lit in the cadets eye, spinning the dagger in one hand as he moved it around his body. He suddenly roared into the air, stopping the thief in their tracks, running straight at them screaming: "KAMIKAZE!"
One by one the thieves fell to the rampage of the dagger of destruction. Grey numbers flew left and right as the dagger fed into the flesh of its enemies. One by one the enemies fell under their grey numbers, screaming in agony as they fell to the ground. Finally, the bloodbath was over. Piles upon piles of corpses filled the streets, blood splattered everywhere. The cadet with the dagger was left panting, slowly making his way back to his friends. They all stared in shock, some in fear, as he wiped his dagger off with a smile. "Yay! Exp!"
The crazy ass cadet did a little dance as the golden letters of LEVEL UP danced around his head. Ramza blinked in disbelief, finally shaking his head looking at the mutilated corpses.
"Why do you continue committing acts like robbery and threatening old women? You wouldn't have died this way, a crazy newbie with a knife, if you'd led an honest life...
The Moral of this chapter would have to be not to rob people lest you want to be pwned by snot-nosed nobles and a crazy guy with a knife.
