Harry Potter and the Mystic Kettle of Nackledirk
No review replies, yet again, sorries. I am just concerned with finishing these chapters recently because I have been lazy and/or busy. Yay for tests being over!...well…math test on Monday…and the Humanities project…BUT THAT IS NOT THE POINT.
The unnecessary songs were:
Unnecessary Song #4: "Existentialism on Prom Night" by Straylight Run(HATE IT.)
Unnecessary Song #5: "Ohio Is For Lovers" by Hawthorne Heights(HATE-HATE IT.)
Unnecessary Song #6: "La La" by Ashlee Simpson(WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS MY HATE FOR THIS SONG.)
Okay, everybody gets chok-o-lat-ie now. Well, if you got it right, that is!
Chapter Eight: Don't Be So Picky, Mr. Sticky!
In which Erica's stick is much too picky. Uh oh.
"Yes," Erica said menacingly, "Fear the sticky. Mr. Sticky. SAY IT: MR. STICKY!" she hollered.
"Mr. Sticky," everyone said, the fear evident in their shaky voices.
"YES!" Erica screamed, "MR. STICKY."
"Mr. Sticky," everyone repeated.
"Mr. Sticky says he hates you," she gloated.
"Mr. Sticky says he hates us," everyone whispered fearfully.
"Mr. Sticky says…" Erica started, but then her eyes widened. "MR. STICKY SAYS HE DOESN'T LIKE CHINA!" She started to bawl.
"Don't be so picky, Mr. Sticky!" Hermione pleaded to the stick.
"YES," Erica yelled, "DON'T BE SO PICKY! STUPID STICK!" She threw the stick and it cracked into two bark-y, wood-y pieces.
Everyone seized their chance and ran away. They sang as they ran, and it went like this: "Yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho! Oh, yo ho and a bottle of rum! Yo ho, yo ho, Jolly Roger, and yo ho, hey ho, and something something something!" And they all giggled in glee!
"WE GOT OFF, WE GOT OFF, WE GOT OFF!" Ginny, Fred and George sang, like in book five except now it doesn't actually make sense…kind of.
"I like raccoon monsters," Ron said.
"I like picnics," the Nearby Picnicker said.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Frodo Baggins shrieked, "YOU SAID YOU'D SHOW ME THE STRAWBERRY GOODNESS!"
"YOU FREAK!" Sam shrieked, defending Frodo.
"Oops," the Nearby Picnicker said, and then he ran away.
"With a whoop whoop whoop and a hi ho! Along the narrow stretch! With a rat tat tat and a tippy tippy tap, and down the rolling bow wow wow! With a noodle oodle oodle and a bugle sound! And through the woods he ran Billy Boy, and through the woods he ran!" the group of Hogwarts students sang. (Don't ask me how they know Appalachian folk songs. THEY JUST DO.)
"You're all very sing-y," Sam observed.
"You're both very hobbit-y," the sing-y people remarked.
"Why thank you," Frodo said. And then the two hobbits ran after the Nearby Picnicker!
Suddenly, Snape appeared, lips pursed. "So," he said menacingly at the group of students, "So."
"…So what?" Harry said, after an extremely long pause.
"You," Snape snapped, eyes flashing, "You stole my cream puffs." He pointed at the Gryffindor heir.
The Gryffindor boy cackled. "MWAHAHAHAHA!" he cackled hysterically, "MWAHAHAHA!" His body shook in spasms of laughter, until finally his disguise fell off in a pile at his feet.
"MISTY!" everyone screamed in shock as the Gryffindor's disguise was removed to reveal Miss Misty the Mary Sue.
"The heirs are not safe," she said in a robotic tone, "Even under the eye of the Headmaster, the Mary-Sues prepare to strike – the elixir of life will soon be in their grasp. Voldemort will return to power!"
"Stupid Seers," Ron grumbled, "That didn't tell us anything we didn't already know!"
"WHERE IS THE REAL GRYFFINDOR HEIR?" Harry yelled as Misty began to break out of her trance.
"I shan't tell," Misty whined.
"I HATE YOU!" Harry shrieked.
"FINE!" Misty screamed, "BE THAT WAY!"
Suddenly, a mysterious voice came out of the bushes:
"I wield the ever-powerful MRS. Sticky, even more powerful than the strong Mr. Sticky. FEAR ME!"
THE END…of Chapter Eight
