Harry Potter and the Mystic Kettle of Nackledirk
To Those Awesome Reviewer People: Thanks for being patient and waiting for this chapter. Sorry it took so long!
Disclaimer: The Inigo Montoya quote comes from the Princess Bride movie(not sure if its in the book too, as I've never read the book); I do not own it. Or Tobey Maguire. Or Spider-Man. Or kimchee, 'cause I don't like it. But I do LOVE MANDOO!
Chapter Nine: STINKY.
"MRS. Sticky?" Harry squeaked, "OH NO!"
"Yeesss," the voice from the bushes cackled, "MRS. Sticky. She's so horrible that Mr. Sticky filed for STICK DIVORCE!"
"STICK DIVORCE!" everyone cried fearfully.
"Yeesss," the voice from the bushes continued, "Stick Divorce. And she doesn't like Britain, no she doesn't!"
"GASP!" everyone gasped, "IS MRS. STICKY A MEAN YANK?"
"Yeesss," the voice from the bushes replied, "And she says you're all stinky Brits."
"STINKY!" everyone cried angrily.
"Yees –" the voice continued, but was cut off.
Ron demanded angrily, "Who are YOU, anyway?" He strode towards the bushes, but was pulled back by Hermione.
"Don't, Ron!" she snapped, "This person is obviously dangerous! He could hurt you with Mrs. Sticky…and none of us want that happening." She blushed in a most Mary-Sue-ish manner.
"But…my heroic sense is tingling," Ron whined.
"Mrs. Sticky's ANNOYED sense is tingling," the voice from the bushes cackled, "And so is mine."
"My spider senses are tingling!" Tobey Maguire said cheerfully, in his Spider-Man costume.
"Soon I will attack," the voice hissed, ignoring the spider-guy-person-thing-Tobey-Maguire-what-the-poopy.
"SOON SHE WILL ATTACK!" Ron howled, suddenly freezing with fear.
"AHHH!" everyone shrieked, and started to run away, but then noticed Tobey Maguire.
"OH MY GOD!" they all shrieked, "IT'S A SPIDER-SUPERSTAR-GUY-PERSON-THING-TOBEY-MAGUIRE-WHAT-THE-POOPY!"
"Yeesss," the voice from the bushes sneered, "AND NOW I WILL ATTACK!"
Everyone gasped, and Spider-Man ran away.
"SO MUCH FOR HEROICS!" Harry barked at the retreating guy-in-a-mostly-red-costume…-guy.
Then everyone gasped again, at the person who came out of the bushes.
"PETTIGREW!" everyone yelled.
"YEESSS," Pettigrew said, "It is me."
"Hello," Harry said, "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father: prepare to die!"
"….What?" Wormtail said.
"EVERYONE RUN WHILE HE'S CONFUSED!" Harry hollered, so everyone ran away.
"Phew!" Ron said as they were suddenly 29485853489558 miles away, "I think we got away."
"Kimchee is fun to eat," Cho Chang said.
"CHO!" Harry yelled, "GET OUT OF HERE! YOU'RE ANNOYING!"
"No," Cho sneered.
Harry glared at Cho. Cho glared at Harry. And Cedric glared down at Harry from the heavens!
"HARRY POTTER," Cedric boomed from the sky, "YOU HAVE INSULTED MY FORMER GIRLFRIEND: PREPARE TO DIE."
Harry stared fearfully, his eyes big as saucers, at the darkening sky.
THE END OF CHAPTER NINE
