Something
Ddoskocil
Warning: Same as the first chapter. This is a slash fic. No flames (although that's not that same as no criticism).
A/N: I wasn't going to write a sequel, but several people wanted me to, so here you go. I fixed them (although it's only fair since I did break them). Enjoy. Oh, and this one was slightly inspired by "Love Me or Leave Me" by Trisha Yearwood from her Inside Out CD. Visit trishayearwood(dot)com to hear it.
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Rodney sat on the edge of his bed with his head between his knees. He wasn't sure how long he'd been like that, but he had a headache and suspected that the blood was rushing to his brain. He briefly wondered if that could damage his IQ. Currently, he wasn't sure he really cared.
It wasn't so bad when he hadn't seen Sheppard every day. The pain has just been a dull hum at the back of his brain, ignored and buried under arrogance and sarcasm. But to actually face Sheppard like that, to tell him it was really over, brought all those horrible feelings back. Feelings Rodney wished he could never feel again. Now he remembered why he never got seriously involved with anyone before.
Sheppard had even given him the chance to forgive and forget. Fuck! Who was the idiot now? Rodney stood with every intention of going to find Sheppard. Tell him he was forgiven, tell him Rodney would come back, tell him everything could be all right. He stopped three steps to the door with his hands clenched into fists.
No. He won't do it. He won't go crawling back to that cocky flyboy. Rodney had his pride after all. He wasn't some lovesick teenager for fuck's sake. He was already moving on. Yes. He was done with Sheppard. He was completely over him. Completely.
Then why did it hurt so much to walk away?
Rodney sank to the floor and leaned against the bed, his head in his hands. Damn it.
There was a knock at the door and Rodney allowed himself a glimmer of hope. He snorted at his folly. As if thinking about Sheppard could some how bring him to his door. Idiot. Things like that did not happen to Doctor Rodney McKay.
"Rodney?" a voice asked. His voice. Rodney did not want to believe. He didn't want to believe. Things like this did not happen to him.
"Rodney? You in there?" His voice was quiet, almost a whisper. He probably didn't want anyone to hear. Rodney huffed and didn't answer.
"Come on, McKay," he said again, a little louder this time. "Damn it, McKay. Open the damn door." Rodney just sat there, a frown on his lips as Sheppard pounded on the door twice. Then it sounded as if he leaned against the door and slide down.
"Damn it, McKay. Don't make me beg out here." Rodney entertained the brief notion of making Sheppard beg. It had a nice ring to it. Sheppard begging. At his door. But still he stayed silent. He wasn't even going to give Sheppard a chance. Then why did he find himself raising and making his way to the door. He almost opened it. Almost. Instead, he slumped against the door and could imagine Sheppard just on the other side. It was strangely comforting, although Rodney did not want to admit it.
"Damn it, Rodney. I'm sorry. I fucked up and I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. Fuck," Sheppard said on the other side of the door. Rodney heard a thump against the door and imagined it was Sheppard banging his head against the door. He hoped it hurt.
"I didn't mean to. I just-fuck, I don't know how to do this. I've never been good at this relationship stuff." Rodney found the admittance to be a bit on the unbelievable side. Sheppard didn't know how to be in a relationship? He almost laughed at the thought. Rodney was the one who didn't know what he was doing. It never occurred to him that Sheppard didn't either. It still didn't change anything, Rodney told himself.
"Rodney, let me in. Please. Please, Rodney." He was begging. John Sheppard was begging. Rodney never thought he'd see the day that Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard would beg. Of course, most days Rodney wasn't sure he would live to see tomorrow.
"Tell me something," Rodney finally said. He wasn't sure what made him say anything at all. But he said it.
"What? Come on, McKay. Just let me in."
"Just tell me, Sheppard." There was a long pause before the sound of someone getting up; then footsteps walking away from the door. Rodney knew it. Things like that really didn't happen to people like him. All that hope for nothing. Sheppard would never change. Besides Rodney was over him anyway.
The suddenly bang on the door made Rodney jump. "Damn it, McKay!" There was another bang and than quieter. "Damn it. My father kicked me out when I was sixteen. He beat the hell out of me then kicked me to he curb. Didn't even let me get my stuff. He just threw it out of my bedroom window. So, there it is. Something I've never told anyone."
Rodney was stunned. Actually, stunned wasn't quite the word. He wasn't sure if there was a word in the English language to describe what he felt. He made a mental note to ask Radek if there was a Czech word for the situation.
"All right, Rodney. If that's the way you want it. I'll leave you alone," Sheppard said after a long heavy sigh. The words seeped into Rodney's brain and he was off the floor in a flash. His door opened with a whoosh to find Sheppard leaning heavily against the doorframe with his head down. Rodney could actually see tear tracks down his cheeks. It unnerved him more than a little. He'd never seen John cry. Never. It was...weird. Rodney reached out and touched one of John's tear streaked cheeks in a gentle caress. John placed a hand on his.
"Will you let me in now?" he asked. "Please, Rodney." And Rodney did something that just hours before he swore he would never do. He let Sheppard in.
They sat on opposite sides of the bed without touching. Now that he was here, Rodney wasn't sure what the say. He really hadn't prepared anything to say because he honestly never expected to speak with Sheppard again.
"Why'd your dad kick you out?" he asked, mainly because there was nothing else to say. And he kind of wanted to know.
"He caught me making out with my history tutor," Sheppard responded. He quickly added, "My male history tutor. He was furious. I thought he was going to kill me."
Rodney remained silent for a moment as thought about his own father. "Yeah. I had a similar experience. What'd you do?"
"Stayed with an aunt and uncle until I graduated high school. Flew commercially for a few years. I joined the Air Force the minute I heard he was killed. What happen to you?"
"What are you doing here, Sheppard?" Rodney answered.
"You can't answer a question with a question."
"Well, I just did." There was silence again.
"I was serious in the jumper. I miss you, Rodney. And apparently we weren't as sneaky as I thought. Both Ronon and Teyla said I'm extra irritable when you're not there. So-"
"That's it? That's bullshit, Sheppard. You think I'm going to forgive you because Teyla and Ronon think you're more irritable. Well, if that's what you think you can get the hell out now," Rodney fired back as he stood. Who the hell did Sheppard think he was? Kirk?
"That's not what I meant, Rodney. I need you."
"Right. Like you needed that alien chick." Sheppard started to say something, but Rodney cut him off. "I don't want to hear you 'need me', okay? I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I want more than that. I want it all. I want the commitment, and from me that's saying a lot. I want the real thing now." Rodney squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose. He couldn't believe was going to say this out loud: "I love you, okay? I fucking love you and if you can't love me back, then get out right now."
"Rodney-"
"I am so serious right now." Sheppard stood and Rodney knew it was really over. Until John did the unexpected. He crossed the space between them in a single step. He was so close Rodney could smell him; that sweet smell of sweat, dirt, and something else that was completely John. He cupped Rodney's face in his hands and kissed him.
John. Kissing him. In his room in Atlantis. Without the door even being locked. Rodney's brain almost melted, but he was still mad. He pushed against Sheppard before that talented tongue could get a chance to work its magic and put an arm's distance between them.
"That wasn't really an answer. I need an actual answer here. With actual words," he insisted.
"I want to do this, Rodney. I want to make it work."
"That means you have to give up some of your extra curricular activities."
"Such as?" Sheppard asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Cavorting with alien princesses for one," Rodney responded as if it should be obvious. Sheppard nodded. John nodded. "And no more sneaking off to the Puddle jumpers. And I want you to stay the night."
"Rodney, I-"
"Nope. That's it. Those are the new rules. There shall be lots of hot sex in beds followed by cuddling and sleeping in the same bed. Most nights. We can keep the 'no hot sex on missions' rule," Rodney announced. "And if you can't do that, I'm done. That's what I want, nothing less."
He seemed to be thinking it over. "All right, McKay, you win. The beds, the sleeping over, even the cuddling, although I never really thought of you as a cuddler."
"I know, funny isn't it? It's kinda nice though."
"I guess I'll find out. Can we get to the hot sex part now? Hot make-up sex."
"No. I think now we'll get to the sleeping part." John stared at him slack jawed. Rodney just grinned. "Hot sex in the morning."
They got undressed and crawled under Rodney's covers. At first, neither moved. They just lay side by side, hardly touching at all. But after a few minutes, Rodney draped his leg across John and John draped his arm across Rodney and they slept. In the same bed. In Atlantis.
