Disclaimer: I don't own anything
Chapter 6 – Trusting Himself with Her
(seven weeks later; after chapter 5)
It was a normal Saturday morning at breakfast safe for the students who were enthusiastically talking about the Halloween Ball that the Headmistress had just announced which was taking place next week for third year and above.
Hermione sat in her usual spot next to Severus looking through the Daily Prophet an Article caught her attention. After reading it she gasped. Severus turned to her and looked at the article she was looking at. He snorted.
"Of course that ridiculous law was rejected. House Elves aren't going to be free. They know they're place, and it's doing whatever their masters tell them to do. Hermione, it's their purpose." Severus said nonchalantly.
"Please tell me you're joking." Hermione said outraged.
"No." He said simply.
"Severus, they're practically human! They have a brain, which they know how to use well, they can speak to use clearly, and they have feelings. They are almost no different then us! How can you honestly say that you would banish a whole species to slavery!" She asked.
"Easy, Hermione, that is what their species is there for." He said indifferently. Hermione looked infuriated. She stood up and walked out of the Great Hall. Severus sighed and followed her. He caught up with her before she went into her rooms.
"Hermione, they're called House Elves for a reason."
"Because back in 1905, a boy named William Praetner forgot what they were called and started calling them House Elves, and it caught on. Honestly Severus, don't you read?" She said. He frowned. "Okay, Hermione, listen, the House Elves want to serve us. That's all they know. They want to."
"Right, like Dobby wanted to?"
"There's always one that's missing a few screws."
"Severus, they feel and hurt like we do. And to think that they slave away doing what we're too lazy to do, and they're hit when they don't. What if it were you?"
"That's why I thank my stars I was born a wizard."
"Right, not like a house elf, giant, or even a mudblood, right? What a disgrace." She said her eyes flashing dangerously.
Severus was also angry; the conversation was ridiculous, she knew where he stood on it, so she shouldn't be angry with him for his opinions or thoughts. So he fought back.
"Exactly, what a disgrace." He said blindly. Hermione gasped. She then slapped him.
"Being a mudblood isn't by choice, but being a friendless, greasy-haired, ugly, idiot of a deatheater is. No wonder you're alone." She said as she slammed the door in his face.
Severus strode to his quarters furiously. Merlin help the student who passed him in the hallways. He made it to his quarters and slammed the door. He didn't remember a time when he was so angry. And it was all his fault. He let her in, and she hurt him, more than he thought possible. Sure, he hurt her, but he didn't think it was more than how much he was hurting. He thought about apologizing to her, but that moment passed. He sat in his chair staring at the fire and did not move. Well he did on occasion after he called Jemmy for some bottles of firewhiskey and he took some swigs.
On the otherside of the castle Hermione lie on her bed crying. She could not believe how rude he was to her. 'Does he really think that of me?' She asked herself. She heard a knock on her door. She didn't say anything, 'maybe they'll go away.' She thought. She knew it couldn't be Severus. She heard her door open, she sighed.
"Who the hell is it?" Hermione asked in her pillow.
"It's me Gin. Mione, what's wrong? You left the Great Hall looking upset. What happened?" She asked climbing on her bed. Hermione sighed and sat up.
"It's Severus. We got into a fight. He was completely out of line." She said wiping some tears.
"Why what happened?" She asked. Hermione explained to Ginny in detail what happened. After she finished Ginny sat there silent. "Don't you think I have a right to be mad?" She asked.
"Honestly?" Ginny asked. Hermione nodded her head.
"No, Mione I don't. It's his opinion and you should respect that. Hermione, Draco and I don't agree on a lot of things. But beat your ass we agree to disagree. He was probably angry and said things he didn't mean. Do you think Snape would be friends or even associate himself with you if he thought you were a disgrace? I don't think so." She said.
"Mione, you're dealing with a Slytherin and an ex-deatheater at that, they're not going to be the easiest. Believe me I have one myself, but you have to try. The things you said to him, well they probably hit home for Snape. You know how he is, he probably thought that of himself, so for you to say it. It probably hurt like hell." She added.
Hermione hadn't thought of it that way. She had no right to be angry. "I know you've told me and Angie a thousand times that you guys are just friends. But you guys bring out the best of each other. I've never seen him smile, and now he's always smiles when he's around you. I don't now Mione, you did something to him." She said.
Hermione jumped off her bed. "You're right. Listen, I gotta go. Thanks Gin." Hermione said running out the door. She headed down to Severus' room hoping he was there. She was glad she had friends like Ginny and Angie, who told her when she was being a complete dunderhead. When she got there she knocked on the door. Normally she would just say the password and enter, but this time it was different. He didn't answer, so she knocked again. Still nothing. She began to get worried. She continued to knock. The door suddenly opened and she saw a disheveled looking Severus.
"W-What do y-you w-want?" He asked somewhat slurred. His breath smelled of firewhiskey.
"Severus, are you sloshed? I've only been gone thirty minutes." She said.
"W-What do you care? I'amm just a deatheater. W-Who cares if I'm dead?" He said turning from her and walking ungracefully into his quarters.
"Severus, I care." She said as she slipped in and closed the door.
"It's Snape to you." He said. She walked in front of him.
"Severus, I'm sorry. I was so out of line. You have a right to your opinions. I'm sorry about everything I said. I didn't mean any of it. You mean so much to me; you're a really good friend. I'm sorry I made you question that." She said.
He looked at her apathetically. "Are you finished?" He asked. She raised a brow. "Yeah, I guess." She said.
"I do not forgive you. You're such a prissy mudblood bitch. You think your thoughts, opinions, and needs are above everyone else's. Who the fuck do you think you are? I put up with you while gritting my teeth and staying quiet. But I am done with that. Yes, I was a deatheater and if you think I'm going to let you throw that shit in my face every time you get angry you got another thing coming." He said walking towards her.
He was upset and there was a glint in his eyes she never saw before. She started backing up as he advanced. "Do you want me to show you what a deatheater like me did to you mudblood whores during our meetings?" He asked.
Hermione was scared now, she never seen him like this before, and to make it worse, her back hit one of his bookshelves. 'Shit!" She thought. She shook her head to Severus' question.
"Oh, you're going to find out." He said as he put his hands on either side of her head. He was about to give her a forceful kiss when she quickly kneed him in the growing.
"Merlin, Snape. What the hell did you think you were going to do?" She asked stunned as he lie on the floor holding his sore spot. He quickly stood up.
"What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Are you fucking sober now?" She asked.
"Granger-."
"No! You had you're chance to talk!" She said as she went into his kitchen and looked through his cabinet for a sobering potion she had made for him a few weeks back. She found it and tossed at him.
"Take this and never come within three feet of me again!" She said as she passed him. As she passed he tried to grab her.
"Get you filthy hands off of me Snape!" She said.
"Hermione, I'm-."
"No! I don't want to hear it! I tried Snape, I really did. But after this, I just don't think I can." She said as he let her go. "I'm sorry."
She said as she left. She went to her room and stayed there the rest of the day. Severus stared at the door after she left. He thought about not taking the sobering potion and continue to get sloshed. But he decided against it and took it. Sober he felt worse than he did drunk. He didn't think that he would've rapped her, but he didn't know.
She had apologized for everything, and it was what he wanted, but he just through it all in her face. He didn't know what to say. He showed her the part of him that he wanted to keep hidden, she didn't want to know that side of him. But as much as he wanted to keep it locked up, he just couldn't control himself at times.
He sat in his chair and stared at the fire. He didn't move. He sat there all day. In the evening he turned his chair toward the door to see if Hermione would show up. She usually came at this time. He sat there for hours trying to will her to come to his door. But she never showed up.
The next day they both did the same as they did the previous day. Somehow the day seemed to go by slower when they weren't together. Severus knew he should apologize, but he didn't know the best way to go about it. And she deserved nothing less than the best.
The next day on his break he decided that he should just do it or else he never would. He approached her classroom cautiously. He knocked uncertainly. "Come in." He heard her say. He walked in hesitantly and took a deep breath. She wasn't looking at him, but instead at the papers she was currently grading. For a minute he lost himself and his words and just stood there. This caused Hermione to look up. When she saw him her face turned cold and she looked back down at her papers.
"Is there something you wanted, Professor Snape?" She asked. He didn't like the way she addressed him, but he guessed he deserved it.
"Hermione, I want to apologize. I was drunk and as a result I wasn't thinking. I'm truly sorry. I never meant for any of it. I would never willingly hurt you." He said.
"But you did." She said as she continued to grade her papers.
"I know, and I'm sorry. I was drunk I didn't mean what I said, and again, I'm sorry. I just want us to go back to normal. I want-."
"Are you ever going to let me in?" She asked catching him off guard.
"Excuse me?" He asked.
"Are you ever going to let me in? Are we ever going to talk about anything other than potions, me, students, books, colleagues, weather, or anything else other than you? Are we ever going to talk about you?" She asked looking at him.
He just stared at her. He definitely didn't expect that. "I don't know." He said after a while. If it was for him they would never talk about him. He didn't want her to know about his past or him. She was sure to run away.
"Then I don't want your friendship. I don't want to force you to open up to me, but if you're never going to trust me with yourself, then I don't want to keep trying. You hurt me a lot the other day. And that what happens when you try to bury the past, when it rains it'll rise." She said.
Severus closed his eyes and sighed. He wanted to tell her that he needed her. He wanted to tell her that there was no way he was going back to how life was before her. He could now get a halfway decent sleep with their late night talks or reading sessions.
She had changed him and he didn't want to go back to what he was before. But when he opened his eyes and the words couldn't seem to form.
"I'm sorry, I just can't do this anymore. You know where the door is." She said going back to her papers. When he played the seen out in his head before he got there he wasn't going to leave without a fight, but it wasn't how it was played out in the end. He turned around and took his leave.
He went to his classroom. He was in a foul mood, so as a result half of his students in his next class left in tears. Yes things changes severely for Severus. Hermione now sat on the other side of the professors table in the Great Hall with Weasley and Malfoy, she stopped going to his room to read and she went out of her way to avoid him, even when they were in the same room.
a/n - Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I hope you liked that chapter. Review please!
Duj - Gryffindors: Minerva, Neville, Angelina, Seamus, Oliver, Ginevra, Hermione, Hagrid
Unidentified stranger (at any rate, I don't remember him in canon): Alexander Montague
Unidentified canon characters: Sybil, Vector, Sinistra
Slytherins: Snape, Draco
Hufflepuff: Hannah
That's a terrible imbalance in the staff, 8 Gryffindors and 7 non-Gryffindors - 8 if the librarian is one of the latter but you haven't mentioned one). Who are the heads of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw now?
-Actually, yes, Montague, Trelawney, Vector, and Sinstra are in the books, you just have to read carefully. And I like my 'imbalanced' staff members. If you don't like my fic, then you don't have to read it. But, I do welcome your criticism, thanks a lot for thereview, I appreciate it.
