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Chapter 8 – Resisting Her
"Checkmate." Severus said grinning sitting back in his chair. Hermione rolled her eyes.
"You could've won ages ago. How very Slytherin of you to prolong my demise." She sighed.
"Yes, and how very Hufflepuff of you to let me." He said still grinning after his win.
"Stuff it Snape. Fine, whatever, you won. We can go to your favorite restaurant." She said standing up. "But next time we're playing poker." She said smiling. No one could ever beat her in poker. Severus said nothing as he stood up and grabbed their cloaks.
This was a normal Saturday afternoon for them. Just spending the day talking (arguing) and eating. They arrived at the restaurant and ordered. Hermione looked around taking in her surroundings while Severus took her in.
"You know I've never actually been in here. Witch Weekly states the food here is to die for. And the Daily Prophet hails it for its beauty." She said as she continued to look around.
"Still a know-it-all I see." He said slightly amused.
"Still a git then?" She said rolling her eyes.
"You can't have one conversation with me without verbalizing a word for word account of something you've read in a book." He said trying to irritate her.
"And you can't have a conversation without letting everyone feel as cross as you are. Why do you constantly frustrate me?"
"Why do you rise to the occasion?" He said as she glared at him trying not to smile.
"Cause you make it so easy." She said taking a drink of her water.
"I can say the same." He smirked.
There was a silence for a moment before Severus heard a voice he had not heard in a couple of years. It was a distinct regal voice with poise and influx that said "Severus," in a way he knew all too well. He closed his eyes for a moment then slowly turned to the woman who had caused his past life to crumble in shame and sorrow. Narcissa Black, formally known as Malfoy. "Narcissa, what a pleasant surprise." He forced.
She was a beautiful as ever. It was then he knew Hermione was right; you cannot forget nor stop loving your first love. She looked surprise, but still remained dignified.
"Yes, this is my favorite restaurant. I come here often." She explained as they stared at each other. Neither of them realizing Hermione presence.
"Yes, well. Are you dining alone?" He asked as they continued to hold each others stare.
Narcissa was surprised to say the least. Severus was not someone she wanted to see. It had been years since they're last meeting. He looked better than she could have imagined. Ever since she met him in her second year he has been nothing but trouble for her and her heart. She found she could not keep her mind off of him in her young age, and the same was proving to be true in her older years.
"Yes, I seldom find myself dining with company." She said looking into the eyes of the man she loved for years.
Hermione was beside herself with anger and curiosity. They were acting as if she didn't exist. Severus in her eyes seemed to be mesmerized with this ex-Malfoy. She guessed there must have been something between them. She silently cursed him for not telling her he wasn't single. She wanted him to trust her. She stared at him. He was wearing a button up white shirt with black slacks. His hair was down and he had a light beard, from not shaving for a few days.
Hermione couldn't help but think he looked good. For reasons unknown to her at the moment, it made her upset, the way Severus was looking at this Black. After the moment had passed she realized that she was jealous. Severus never looked at her like that (when she was looking). She felt betrayed by her own emotions and a little ill, she knew she had to get out of there as soon as possible. She stood up. The two looked at her for the first time since Narcissa had arrived.
"I'm going to go, I have a lot of things to do. So I'm just going to go and leave you two to talk." She said gathering her cloak and bag.
Severus too felt ill. One of them had to leave, and for the life of him he couldn't decide which. It was between the woman who has knowingly killed him for years, or the woman who brought him to life everyday with just one smile. Between a woman who he always loved or the woman who he had strong feelings for. No, he did not know. He couldn't even look at Hermione anymore, an unfamiliar feeling stirred in the pit of his stomach when he did.
"Narcissa Black, a pleasure to meet you." She said frowning. "Hermione Granger." She said simply. Narcissa lifted a brow vaguely surprised at her beauty despite being an undeserving mudblood.
"Yes, one of the brightest potions mistresses ever, so the Daily Prophet says." She said.
"Well they do have a way of embellishing things don't they." Hermione said.
"I'm glad you know that." She said as Hermione lifted a threatening brow.
"I'm going to go." Hermione said as she walked away.
Severus knew he should've called after her, he knew it, yet he said nothing. He just watched her disappear as Narcissa sat in her seat.
"I'm surprised at you." She said taking his attention. "I thought you better then to go for a mudblood like Granger. Severus, you know you're better then that." She said. Severus felt his blood boil.
"You obviously don't know what better is." He said through his teeth.
"Obviously you've forgotten. Severus, she is beautiful, but do not even begin to think that she knows where you like to be touched." She said slipping her hand up his thigh.
"Cissa," he said reluctantly throwing her hand away.
"It's been six years since Lucius died, and yet you have not been by to see me. Have you grown to hate me that much?" She asked.
"You know I could never hate you Cissa, but our time has long past, if there was ever such a time. And Hermione and I are just friends, if not just colleagues. But if ever it were more, it would be none of your business." He said simply.
"Severus, why can't we be together? I still love you like I did when we were younger. Now there is nothing stopping us." She said urgently. She missed him.
"Cissa, stop this. We are not to talk of this anymore." He whispered dangerously.
"You're different." She said. "As are you." He said as the waiter came with their food.
Meanwhile Hermione walked into the Leaky Cauldron just as Montague was. "Opps, sorry." She mumbled as she looked up at the person she bumped into.
"Hermione! What a pleasure. Are you dinning alone?" He asked looking tired. "Yes," She said.
"Well then, join me. I don't like to eat alone." He said, she nodded, and they went in and got a table.
"So where's Severus tonight. Aren't you two always together?" He asked.
"I have no clue." She lied. "Huh," He said as he sensed something more. They sat in silence for a moment, and then Montague relieved it.
"I don't get you women! I gave her whatever she wanted, and yet she still says no to me!" He said frustrated.
"Luna?" She asked. He nodded.
"I told her everything and gave her everything. What more does she want? I can't just tell everyone that I'm in love with her. I would look like an idiot. I'm a Montague, what would they say, me with that nut." He said. Hermione looked at him incredulously.
"You are an idiot. If you were in love with her, you wouldn't be so embarrassed but proud. Merlin, you men are dunderheads. I mean, why can't you guys see what's in front of you? We're right here. And yet you'd rather wait for something seemingly better to come along than to appreciate the real thing in front of you. He didn't even look at me when she came in the room. Like I wasn't even there." She said as he looked at her nodding in understanding.
"Call me Alex; I think we both need some firewhiskeys." He said as she agreed. He waved to the waiter, who quickly came with some drinks.
After a short dinner Severus headed to the castle. He needed to find and apologize to Hermione. He got to Hermione's quarters and knocked. He could never bring himself to just say the password and walk in as Hermione did with him. He didn't even want to know her password, though she offered many times. She didn't answer. He continued to knock. After the twentieth time he finally asked the painting if she had retired for the night. The painting informed him that she hadn't seen her since morning. He went down to her classroom. It too was empty. He was confused. He went to Minerva's office. Maybe they were having some tea. No, she was not there either. He headed to the kitchen hoping to find her there, but he didn't. 'Where the hell is she?' He thought worried.
He didn't want to panic, but terrible things were flying through his head. And the ones that he was trying to push away were the ones that involved Cissa. Pushing all thoughts away, he stood in a corner at the main doors of the castle and waited. An hour later, exactly two minutes before Severus was planning to search Diagon Ally for her,
Montague walked through the doors cradling Hermione against his chest. Severus leaped to Montague.
"What happened?" He demanded.
"I took her drinking, and well, we got drunk and she passed out. She's a gather flirty drunk." Montague said still tipsy.
Severus was furious, not just with Montague, but with himself. "Hand her over." Severus said. "Okay, okay, no need to get cross." He said as he slipped Hermione into Severus' arms. Without another word Severus was off.
He wanted to take her to her room, but again he didn't know the password. So he went to his quarters. He put her in his bed. He sighed. He had wanted to see her in his bed since she came to the school as a professor, but not this way. He again felt ill. He cursed himself for leaving her to walk by herself through the streets at the late hour. If only Narcissa had never shown up. He would've gladly gone to Hermione's favorite muggle restaurant than that one.
He looked at her; she looked radiant, despite the fact that she was passed out. He pushed some stray hairs out of her face. She lifted her hand and placed it on her face to keep his there. "Alex, you smell like Severus." She mumbled as she let go of his hand and fell into a deep slumber. Severus sighed wishing that he could redo the whole night. Narcissa had always been a thorn in his side. Ever since they became friends and then fell in love, it had proved to be nothing but a mistake. The biggest mistake he's ever made. He again sighed and left the room.
Hermione reluctantly opened her eyes. She hadn't remembered going to bed. She sat up and her head felt like it was exploding. "Boger." She said she held her head in her hands. She put her hands down as she promised never to go drinking again….without taking hangover potion first.
She looked down and froze. She was sleeping on green sheets. Her heart started racing. This wasn't her bed. 'Did I sleep with Alex last night?' She thought. She looked around. The walls were covered in exquisite paintings, the room looked expensively decorated. Horror flooded her senses. She had slept with Montague. It was the only thing that made sense. He wouldn't have let her go home with anyone else, and this definitely looked like a Slytherin's room.
"Are you okay?" She heard Severus asked. She looked at him as he walked into the room. She was confused now.
"What am I doing here?" She asked.
"You passed out after your drinks with Montague, and I brought you here." He said approaching her. He handed her some hangover potion. "Take this." He said.
She took it, but didn't drink it. "Thanks." She said as she took off the covers and began to stand up slowly. "Thanks for all your help." She said awkwardly.
"I think I better go back to my quarters now." She said slightly embarrassed.
"No I think you should lie down and take the potion. If you vomit before you take the potion, you can't take it anymore. And I assure you, you will heave before you get there." He said.
"I am a potions mistress; I do know how the potion works." She said curtly.
"Hermione, would you just please lay down?" He asked slightly pleading. She sighed and lie back down.
"I guess for a minute while I take the potion." She said not exactly knowing how to act after what happened last night. After she got in and took the potion, Severus sat down beside her.
"About last night-."
"I'm sorry, I didn't know you and Narcissa were….in a relationship…of…sorts, I didn't want to intrude or anything, I was just planning to slip away." She said feeling a bit out of place.
"No, Narcissa and I are not in a relationship of any sorts now, anyways, but we were, a long time ago." He said pausing, not really knowing how to put it in words. He looked out his window.
"We were just friends, with benefits. Anything more with her was off limits because she belonged to Lucius, a good friend. But as our friendship grew we both fell in love with each other. I couldn't get enough of her. But she always tried to make me jealous by snogging Lucius in front of me, or encouraging Lucius to embarrass me in public. I didn't mind too much, because I knew it was worth it…at the time. She always loved when I was she did better than me. She wanted me to be beneath her in anyway. She liked it that way."
"But Lucius was proving to be a bad influence on her, as he lead her deeper into the dark arts….and she influenced me. She took advantage of the fact that I had no family and no other close friends. She made me believe that the deatheaters and Voldermort would be my family. And for a little while they were, like brothers." He paused. She sat up and crossed her legs next to him. He laughed harshly.
"Some family, they abused me, mentally, and physically. We abused each other, as if it were a way of life. We were blinded….by the lies that Voldermort told us….by our ambition. I was there because she just merely asked. I realized then that she was not just egging Lucius to embarrass me or strike me, but the other deatheaters also, who I can only presume she also had a personal relationship with."
"She would stand there and watch with a smile as they beat me, or taunted me. I wanted to leave many times, but she was like a drug to me, I couldn't resist. But I Albus…Albus saved me; he reached out to me when I was in the darkest corner in the depths of my mind. He gave me my life back. He was like a father to me." He took a deep breath. Hermione put her hand on his, encouraging him to go on.
"The last time I saw her was at the award ceremony after the war, she told me that I was a traitor, and that I deserved to die, but later asking me back to her manner. It took everything in me to say no, I could never resist her. But I did. So when I saw her last night, it was as if…Hermione, I'm sorry I let you go, I should have left with you. I blame myself for the cause of you hangover. And for that, I'm terribly sorry." He said dejectedly looking to her.
"It's okay. But if you really think about it, it's my fault; I really suck at wizard's chess." She said smiling. He smiled weakly.
"I really am sorry Hermione." He said desolately.
"I know." She said squeezing his hand. He wanted to tell her more, but he couldn't. The truth was so much darker than she could imagine, and it would surely drive her away….for good.
a/n - I'm sorry that it took so long for me to update. I'm originally from Glasgow, Scotland, but I moved to South Florida when I was younger. So I lost electricity, thanks to Hurricane Wilma, so I couldn't update.Again thanks to everyone who reviewed. Review!
