Everytime
Chapter 8 - Epiphany
I felt as if something in my heart had been cut off, some crucial portion of my very soul severed. Hermione was dead. I had failed. Everything was lost. There was no way on earth that I would ever get another chance, and with Harry dead—
Wait. Harry.
I turned in horror only to see Voldemort's Cutting Hex send him to the ground. And for an instant, I was aware of nothing save the last hope of the wizarding world, who was about to die at the hands of the worst Dark Lord in centuries.
I hurled myself as fast as I could toward the site where Harry was battling Voldemort, dodging hexes from Death Eaters and Aurors alike as I zoomed toward my best friend. I was going to have one chance, only one chance, but if I played my cards right maybe he alone out of the Golden Trio could survive this battle.
I was barely aware of a shout from behind me and a whooshing noise before green light covered my vision and the world disappeared.
- - - -
Your sixteen hour and thirty minute waiting period begins now, came the sudden voice. I opened my eyes—and then realized that I didn't have any eyes. Or any body—I had lost all corporeality. I was literally nothing but the very soul, the very essence that made up who I was. Once again I was faced with that strange unreal reality...there was nothing around me but pure white. In other words, I was back. Again.
You mean I have even more chances? I asked the voice curiously. How many do I have? Can I just keep trying forever or—
No. You have one chance remaining. I suggest you make the best use of your time. You have sixteen hours, twenty-nine minutes, and sixteen seconds remaining, the voice reminded me as if in an afterthought before leaving me alone once more. Alone with my thoughts, which at the time were so chaotic that I felt it would take at least a week to sort out what I needed to do next.
What had I done wrong? My plan had been flawless. Hermione had been so incredibly incensed that I felt for sure she never would have done anything to save my life. Sure, she was my friend, but that was it. There had never been any signs that she saw me the way I saw her—as something more. As the person that you find yourself staring at when you think nobody's watching and you're deep in thought. The person who, after you've had the worst possible day and you feel like nobody can say anything to make you feel better, somehow manages to put a smile on your face.
Merlin, I'm turning into a bloody witch.
So why would she rescue me, if she was so mad at me that she had most likely vowed never to speak to me again? She gave her life for me. That's not something to be taken lightly—and with the amount of fights we have, I seriously doubt that she's in love with me in any way, even as a friend.
But then why would she do it? Was it possible that there was something more happening there, something that I didn't see? After all, I was Mr. Unobservant; that fact had been established many times. I didn't see Hermione and Krum coming out of anywhere. I didn't see Harry and Cho having any kind of relationship until Harry told me and Hermione that he had kissed her in fifth year, and he's my bloody best mate. So it would come as no surprise if there was something huge happening behind the scenes that I didn't see. Was Hermione realizing that Harry could be distracted if I died and somehow thinking that her death would distract him less? No, she was too smart for that; she knew that, at the very least, her death would affect Harry just as much as mine would, if not more. Did she think that—
Wait a minute. I had it! I had the reason that she had thrown herself in front of me, and with it the reason that I was getting these chances in the first place. There wasn't anything special about me at all to make the strange deity give me a second chance at life. The answer had been right in front of me all my life—literally. Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived. Everyone knew the story—Harry's mother's love for him caused her to sacrifice herself in order to save his life, thus bestowing some kind of blood magic protection upon him that wouldn't allow Voldemort to touch him. The Avada Kedavra curse was unblockable, and yet Harry managed to stop it—and he did so because his mother's love manifested itself in her sacrifice.
And that was exactly what had happened to me. Hermione had given her life for me, knowing full well that I would be able to survive the Avada Kedavra curse with her protection. This would have provided a big enough distraction to win the battle. That was the only possible explanation, although why she didn't just throw herself in front of Harry remained a mystery.
But then there was something else, something that I knew inexplicably was there but that I couldn't seem to grasp. And suddenly something within my mind snapped back together and I was back into my past, reliving my memories as if there was some message in them that I was supposed to see—
I walked through the Great Hall, dreading the prospect of the Quidditch game ahead of me. Harry and Hermione were already there, Harry prepared to go out into the pitch and capture the Snitch—always the hero. My stomach felt terrible, and I was feeling incredibly queasy. When Hermione saw how horrible I was, there would be nothing I could say to get her to ever feel the way about me that I did about her.
I walked up to her, and she seemed to kind of look at me for a moment, her chocolate-brown eyes holding a strange glint that I had never seen before. And suddenly—
"Good luck, Ron," she said, kissing me on the cheek. I stood there stupidly, not moving, not thinking, just feeling that single kiss seem to flow into my bloodstream and travel throughout my body, leaving a strange tingling sensation behind...
- - - -
"Slug Club," I said furiously, trying to look as disdainful as possible. "It's pathetic. Well, I hope you enjoy your party. Why don't you try hooking up with McClaggen, then Slughorn can make you King and Queen Slug—"
"We're allowed to bring guests," said Hermione, turning scarlet for some inexplicable reason, "and I was going to ask you to come, but if you think it's stupid then I won't bother!"
A shock ran through my body, this being the absolute last thing that I ever thought she would say. "You were going to ask me?" I said somewhat hesitantly.
"We're allowed to bring guests," said Hermione, her face flaring, "and I was going to ask you to come, but if you think it's that stupid then I won't bother!"
My heart skipped a beat. I must have misheard her. Surely she hadn't just said—
"You were going to ask me?" I asked, completely taken off-guard, my voice not even registering in my ears.
"Yes," said Hermione, the venom evident in her words and her deep brown eyes sparking. "But obviously if you'd rather I hooked up with McLaggen..."
"No, I wouldn't," I said, something completely different than the anger I was feeling before flooding through my body. The look on Hermione's face was different than I had ever seen it as well, and the very air between us seemed to acquire a different quality than the rest of the room.
Crash! The noise of Harry's shattering bowl echoed throughout the classroom, and I took the chance to look away hurriedly before I did anything else to ruin the moment.
- - - -
"Hermione," I croaked, staring up at her slim figure from my bed in the Hospital Wing. "Wha—"
"Shh..." she said. "Don't talk. It's okay. I just came to see how you were doing."
"But—aren't you mad at me?" I asked, at a total loss.
"I—I was," she admitted with a sort of sigh that made my blood tingle. "But—I was just worried about you, Ron."
A silence filled the room afterwards, and the only sound was Hermione's soft footsteps as she made her way towards my bed. It was the middle of the night, and I struggled to regain my bearings. "Shouldn't you not be allowed in here?" I asked, and she looked fiercely at me for a second before answering.
"Yeah. I...I'm sorry. I'll go if—"
"No. You don't need to go," I said quickly, wondering what she was doing breaking the rules like that. I'd never seen her sneak in to anywhere unless she was directly saving lives as a result.
She came to me and kneeled by my bed. "Ron—I'm so glad you're alright," she said, and I was shocked to see tears beginning to form in her eyes.
"What's wrong?" I asked her desperately.
"It's—it's nothing," she said. "Just—I was so mad at you, Ron. I was convinced that you were using Lavender because—well, because Ginny said that you hadn't had any experience snogging," she continued, and I felt a sudden anger towards Harry for telling her.
"I—I know it was stupid," she said. "But I couldn't stop thinking about—about how you and her—oh, bugger! I don't know why I'm doing this. This is probably a dream anyway. I woke up a few minutes ago and just—I knew that I had to come see you."
I simply sat there, stunned.
"Ron—I was so mad, at first. But now I realize that—with what happened earlier today—I couldn't have stood it if you had died and I had been mad at you for something so stupid, Ron. I'm—I'm so worried about you. I couldn't bear it if you died. Just—please be careful," she blurted, and I simply stared at her, mouth agape, not making a sound.
"Bloody—what am I doing?" she said suddenly, taking off just as quickly as she had come, her face lighting up like a Muggle traffic light. I simply sat there for what could have been two minutes or could have been two hours—I honestly didn't care.
It had been the best birthday ever.
- - - -
Shocked, I jolted myself out of my thoughts. All this time, I had been reading things wrong! She—there was no way. But there the evidence was, plain as day—I had been missing something huge, but not even close to what I had originally thought it was. Indeed, Hermione had been saving my life, and I was coming back because her sacrifice remained in me, but there was only one way that the sacrifice would work—if the person who gave their life loved the person whom they saved. And, impossible as it was, I was staring the inevitable conclusion right in the face.
Hermione loved me back.
- - - -
A/N- And there you have it, chapter 8. It's all downhill from here, folks, although the conclusion of the battle with Voldemort is still to be written and posted. Once again, thanks a lot for reading! Also, this is a long shot, but if anyone happened to have saved a copy of my old story Obliviate, I accidentally deleted it a long time ago when I felt like I sucked at writing and didn't think to save it, and would love to be able to at least read it again. Please send me a message or e-mail me (the address is in my profile) if you have it.
Don't forget to review, and thanks in advance if you happen to have saved or printed Obliviate. Also, one last thing—I have started a new C2 community under a different name and made myself staff, so you can access it through my profile. It's called Harry Potter Goes to the Movies, and it contains the best Harry Potter fics that have plots based on movies, are inspired by movies, or are movie crossovers. If you would like to staff the C2, just send a message or e-mail me—anyone is welcome right now, as long as you don't just add your own stuff—you CAN add your own stuff if it fits, just don't let it be all you add. Anyway, thanks for reading. Until next time!
