Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Chapter 10 – Your Actions Speak Louder Than Your Word

"104, I knew you were going to get sick sitting out there in the rain, honestly. Now you have a fever." Hermione said to Severus looking at her wand which she turned into a thermometer. She headed to Severus' room first thing after she had gotten ready for her class. She had foreseen that he'd be ill.

"Hermione, don't be so dramatic. I feel fine." He said standing up from his chair. "Where are you going?" Hermione asked. "Well Hermione, it's Monday morning, and I'm a professor at a school called Hogwarts, here, say it with me Hog-warts."

"Severus I am perfectly aware of what day it is and your occupation here at Hogwarts. But you are sick and there is no way that I am letting you leave this room. Not without a few broken bones first. Now, I'll call Minerva to cancel your class for the day. I'm sure your students will be distraught, but they'll live." He snorted.

"I'm going to tell Jemmy andGinny that you are sick and you be needing looking after while I'm teaching. So get into your pj's and into bed. I'll be back in a few minutes."

And with that Hermione left Severus sitting there wondering what he had done to deserve such a friend. He stood up and headed to the bathroom for a shower. He suspected she wouldn't be back for a while. As he got in he tore off his clothing piece by piece. He turned on the shower and got in.

He let the hot water fall on his back. He sighed. He missed her already. The way she made him feel, the way she stirred up emotions in him that he feared he would never feel. The way they could talk for hours on end. Of how her scent stayed on his robes after she was gone, the way she never once flinched when she touched him. He wished to the gods above that he knew how it felt to feel her touch when she needed him, when she wanted him. He felt himself start to get aroused.

He sighed as he put one hand against the wall and the other on his hardened length. He hated this sort of sexual gratification, but it had been a long time since he'd been with a woman, and judging by the way things were going, it seemed to be the only form of sexual gratification he was ever going to have. He stroked himself slow at first. His breathing became harsh and unsteady and his intensity and pace of his strokes sped.

After a few minutes he threw his head back and cried out Hermione's name. After rinsing himself of proof of his selfish behavior He turned off the water and got out. He sighed as he took his towel and began to dry himself. He then threw his towel aside and began to examine himself in his full length mirror. Something he rarely did.

His hair was too long and shaggy, his eyes seemed to be as black as his soul, his nose was far too long, and his skin was paler then he'd prefer to be. He had many scars, throughout the length of his body. He never remembered a time when his body wasn't full of scars. Full of memories he'd wish to leave behind. Times when his he'd try to protect his mother from his father's fury. Times when he hurt himself through his own self-hatred. Times when his loyalty was tested. Times when victims would try to protect themselves of him. Times in battled where he almost forgot himself.

He was always envious of wizards whose skin was unblemished and flawless. It was ironic but mostly upsetting how the man outside seemed to match the man inside. His life was sick and twisted that way. His body was toned and muscular, but with all the scars he had, none of that mattered.

Hermione walked into Severus quarters and looked around for him. "Severus." She called but no one answered. 'Oh I hope he didn't go down to his classroom.' She thought looking around. She saw the bathroom door open and walked in.

To her surprise she walked in to see a totally nude Severus turned away from her. He turned around and regarded her. She stood there mouth agape and eyes wide. "So you don't employ knocking at all, I see." Severus said indifferently. In all honesty he wanted to see Hermione's reaction to him.

Hermione felt immobile and a loss of her voice all at once. She knew Severus was in shape, but this was ridiculous. He just took her breath away in a fashion that she never thought was possible. She almost wanted to cry when she saw all of his scars. It was proof of his journey of strength, courage, persistence, and prevalence. She wanted to kiss each one and show him her appreciation of him, for just being.

An uncontrollable need and urge to touch him took over her as she walked toward him, put her arms around his neck and kissed him. Severus' shock didn't last long as he wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her as close as she could possibly get and plunging his tongue into her mouth making sure he tasted every angle. She tasted sweet and addictive. And she felt like she was coming home for the first time.

She moaned softly as she felt his erection pressed against her. She slid her arms against his chest and around his back. A loud pop-ing sound made Hermione jump away from Severus. They both turned to see Jemmy looking extremely embarrassed and ashamed holding a cup of tea.

"My apologies Master." She said as she quickly set the tea down and disappeared.

Severus turned to look at a glassy eyed Hermione. "I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me Severus." She began as she turned from his naked form.

"I'm really so sorry Severus." She continued. He began to walk toward her; he missed the feeling of having her in his arms. He had no idea why she was apologizing, but he knew he didn't like it. She looked at her watch, her back remaining toward Severus. "Bugger, I'm late. I'm really so sorry Severus. It'll never happen again." She said before making a quick exit. He wanted to stop her and ask her why the bloody hell not. But a spout of coughing led him against it.

Hermione walked to her classroom quickly. She couldn't believe her lack of self control. She felt utterly embarrassed. 'How could I do that to a friend? How am I going to be able to face him again?' She asked herself. She contemplated telling her class it was a free period for them to catch up on other homework so she could think about it further, but she decided against it. If she continued to think about it, she would have to throw up.

So she went about her classes as usual. Lucky her, being with her kids made her calm down and realizes that maybe it wasn't such a big deal. She had already prepared her speech of what she was going to say to him. She had convinced herself that the only reason she kissed Severus because she was feeling lonely lately, and she only kept kissing him because he was an okay kisser, and it would be rude to stop abruptly when you started it. After her last class before lunch she headed to Severus' quarters.

Severus had been on edge ever since Hermione had left his quarters.Ginny had been by to give him some potions and Jemmy had come to give him tea and some breakfast. The potions had made him drossy, but he couldn't sleep. He was too busy thinking about what had happened this morning.

Why had she kissed him? And even worse, why did she regret it afterwards. He sighed as he stared at his ceiling. The kiss she had given him had been plaguing his mind. 'Why had she done it in the first place?. He asked himself.

He knew she couldn't possibly harbour any feelings for someone such as himself that was out of the question. Did she feel sorry for him? Was it some kind of pity kiss? If it wasn't for his pesky house elf, Jemmy she would probably be lying beside him right now. But would she regret that to? If she would, he would prefer it never happened. He didn't think he could've taken that. He again sighed. 'How did everything become so complicated?' he asked himself and as he did he heard a faint knocking at his room door.

He stood up and walked over to the door and opened it. Upon seeing him, Hermione quickly turned around and shielded her eyes.

"Could you please put a shirt on?" She asked. He looked down at himself. He was clad in just his dark green boxers with the Slytherin logo on them.

"Oh, sorry." He mumbled not sure how to react.

He went to his dresser and slipped on a wife beater. "Okay." He said. She turned towards him, blushed and turned back around.

"Could you put on a real shirt?" She asked embarrassed. Just looking at him was turning her on. He looked spectacular without anything on, magnificent with no shirt, and fantastic with a wife beater that seemed to accentuate his great body.

A bit annoyed, Severus went in his drawer and pulled on a simple plan white tee.

"Better?" He asked. She turned around and smiled sheepishly.

"Yeah." She said. "So how are you feeling? Did I wake you?" She asked him as she took a seat at his desk. He sat on his bed and didn't say anything for a minute.

"Is it the scars?" He asked looking at the floor. Hermione was at a loss of words. Truth be told she wanted to kiss all his scars starting from the top and see where it gets her. Feeling particularly brave she got up to sit next to him on his bed.

"Severus, your scars are everlasting memories of the great man you've become and what you've been through to get to this point." She paused. "I'm really sorry about what happened this morning. I honestly don't know what came over me. I really want you to know that it will never happen again." She said. It wasn't the long speech she had planned, but it would have to do. "Do you forgive me?" She asked.

He didn't answer her right away. Instead he just stared at the flooring thinking for a second. After a minute he turned to her and smirked.

"Of course." He said. She smiled. "Great. Now get into bed." She said standing.

He complied he didn't feel much like arguing at the moment. "Did you eat?" She asked. "Yeah I ate." He replied. "Good. Now it looks like you need some rest. I'll leave you to it. I'll be back in two hours." She said walking out the door.

He stared at his ceiling. He knew it would this would happened. He knew it, but he wasn't fully prepared the way it made him feel. He stayed awake for a while, and then let the sleep take him.

Not to long after, he heard a knock on his door. "Come in." He said knowing it was her. He could smell her perfume from the hallway.

"Did I wake you?" She asked. "No." He lied. He sat up slightly, and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

"How were your classes today?" He asked. She waked toward his bed and lie next to him on top of the covers.

"Not bad, same old, same old. Sunington broke another two cauldrons, and Bentern burnt her hair off completely, and Tensley, well she'll be back to her old self again in a few weeks."

"So the usual?"

"Exactly." She replied smiling. "I didn't think I would ever be teaching. But I really love it." She said.

"I never thought I would be teaching either, but here I am. I never really like teaching. Well only on the rare occasion when a bright student such as yourself came along. Then it great, to see a student who shared my love of potions." He said.

"Why don't you quit if you don't like it." Hermione asked trying to get him to admit that he does like it.

"Actually, I was suppose to retire this year, but Minerva asked me to hold off a year. And I didn't mind, Hogwarts is my first home." He said.

"So you're retiring?" She asked incredulously. "Yes." He said simply.

"What do you plan to do after you retire?"

"I've always wanted to open my own potions shop. And there's a space in Hogsmeade clearing. It would be an ideal space for the shop." He said.

Hermione didn't respond. She couldn't imagine teaching without him being there. She couldn't imagine Hogwarts without him.

"I can't just stay in Hogwarts forever. This is all I know. It's too safe. I want to try something new. I want to try the things I couldn't before. You understand?" He asked.

She understood, but she still didn't want him to leave. Suddenly it felt as though the end of the year was right around the corner. Would Snape still want to be friends with her if they weren't colleagues? If he didn't have an excuse everyday to see her or talk to her? Hermione suddenly felt a little sick. "Hermione?" She knew she was being kind of selfish, but is it wrong to just want to be around him.

Everyone else had someone, Ginny had Draco, Angie had Fred, Montague had Luna, Neville had Padma. Minerva apparently had some new boyfriend she was keeping secret, and Abby had her problems. "Hermione." Who would she talk to if not Severus? And who would take his place? Surely no one had his expertise in both potions and dada. "Hermione." She turned to Severus at the sound of her name.

"What were you thinking about? I was calling you for a while." He said. She stared at him.

"Are we going to keep in touch after you leave?" She asked.

"Do you even have to ask?"

"Yes. Severus, I'm going to feel so alone when you leave. Who am I going to talk to? Who's going to read to me? Who am I going to come to for help?" She asked.

"You've never come to m for help." He said. "Severus, you know what I mean." He stared at the ceiling. "Yeah, I do." There were a few minutes of silence.

"So, how did it go with Krum? I've been meaning to ask." He said. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"You were right. He's still in love with me. He just wanted me to be with him again." She paused. "You should have heard him Severus. He was really heartbroken. I mean, if you think about it, it's my fault that he's-." She paused again searching for the right words, but all her words failed her.

"Hermione, it's not your fault that he's miserable. He just needs to let you go. Holding on to you when you're not his is very unhealthy. Don't let yourself get upset over him. He doesn't deserve you, not by half." He said. She looked up at him and smiled.

"Thanks Severus." She said.

He couldn't help but smile back. Her smile was radiating. Again silence lingered in the room. Hermione turned o her side so her body was facing his.

"Tell me something you never told anyone else." Severus thought about this for a minute.

"Only if we get to play Twenty Questions. Except I go first this time." He said.

"Okay, but it has to be something deep, meaningful, and good." She said.

"Okay." He said as he decided about what he could tell her. After a few minutes he decided.

"Ever since I was younger, I've always felt alone. It didn't matter who was in the room. I always felt like I was alone in this immense world. But ever since you came to teach here, I stopped feeling that way. Just knowing you make me feel strong enough to take on the things I thought I couldn't. Just by you being next to me, as crazy as that sounds." He said.

Hermione didn't respond. Severus was beginning to sweat fearing her reaction. He then felt her small hand slip into his large one. "That is the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me Severus." She said giving him a glassy eyed smile. "Yeah, well, it's true." He said quickly.

"Are you ready to play?" He asked reaching ower to his nightstand to get his wand and sat up. "Yeah," She said getting up her wand and sitting legs crossed. They switched wands, and taped them together.

"Okay, first question. Favorite color?"

"Mahogany."

"Birth date?"

"September 19th."

"Do you ever plan on settling down and having a family?" Hermione didn't answer this right away. When she thought of having kids, they all had red hair and freckles, and resembled Ron. She had never imagined herself with anyone else.

"I don't know. I think I do, I just never pictured myself with anyone besides Ron." She said, but just as she did she got shocked. "Bugger!" She said dropping the wand. She thought she was telling the truth. Severus raised a brow.

"Who have you pictured yourself having a life with?" He asked as she picked up his wand. "I don't know." She said cautiously and she got stung. Severus' brow rose further. "Was it with Krum?"

"No."

"Anyone other than Ron in the Weasley clan?"

"No."

"Harry Potter?"

"No."

"Was he a Gyffindor?" She hesitated. "Three seconds." He reminded her. "No!" She said quickly, but not quick enough. She got shocked.

Severus smirked. Payback really was a wicked concept.

"So you strayed from your Gyffindorks." He said slightly amused. Hermione rolled her eyes. "But I'll always return." She said.

"So who was this Lancelot? Or do you prefer Romeo Was he a Ravenclaw?" He asked.

"Lancelot is fine. And no." She said blushing fiercely.

"Well, well, now I know you didn't fall for a Hufflepuff. So am I right to assume he was a Slytherin." Hermione would have hesitated if not for the three second time limit. "Yes." She muttered.

Severus began to chuckle and Hermione looked up. It's not that she hasn't seen him laugh, but she just loved to watch him. His laugh shook his chest and brightened his face and in turn brightened hers.

"So what is the name of our dear Lancelot?" He asked. She dropped the wand quickly, said "Blaise." and quickly picked it up. Severus laughed again. Hermione tried to suppress a smile.

"Do you take me for a fool Hermione?" He asked. "No." She simply.

"Alright, I'll let it go for now. But fully expect me to bring it up later." Hermione again rolled her eyes. "Noted." She replied.

He turned to her and looked her in her eyes with such intensity she wanted to look away, but she couldn't. He had the most beautiful eyes.

"Why did you kiss me earlier?" She quickly dropped the wand and grabbed hers.

"Severus, I've had quite enough of this little game. I just remembered I have to bring something to Abby." She said getting up and walking towards the door. Severus grabbed her arm and backed her up against the door. "She can wait."

"I told you it was an accident."

"You didn't just fall onto my lips Hermione."

"It was an accident nevertheless!"

"Tell me Hermione, how do you walk halfway across a bathroom, entangle yourself to another person and kiss them entirely on accident?"

"Oh, I would hardly say I entangled myself to you!"

"That wasn't the question."

"What do you want me to say besides sorry?"

"I don't want you to say sorry; I want you to tell me why!"

"I don't know why Severus. All I can say is that I wasn't thinking when I saw you there."

"Okay, so you saw me and it made you lose all thought?"

"Oh, don't let me get in the way of you head inflation."

"Hermione." He warned.

"What do you want me to say? What do you want!"

"You." He said as he lowered his head and gave her a kiss.


a/n - I hoped you guys liked it. I'm really sorry for the wait. Special thanks to Alaksandra, thanks for the review, and thanks to everyone who reviewed. Tell me how I'm doing, please review.