Everytime
Chapter 10- Wonderwall
"Hermione, I think I'm in love with you."
There was a pregnant pause. The world around me seemed to cease and fall into itself so that nothing else existed but me and the brown, bushy-haired, book-smart girl standing in front of me that I had had a crush on since I was twelve. To my nervous, unconfident self, the pause seemed like an eternity. Every single second that Hermione stared at me seemed to be a second longer that she had before she realized the utter stupidity of what I had just said and flat-out rejected me. Even though I had seemingly found proof of her crush on me (well, I had always had the proof, but until then been too thick to realize it), there was still a possibility that I was wrong, and the passage of time magnified that possibility in my head.
And then she stepped forward and kissed me.
Although in later years I would see it as the most cliché thing that could have possibly happened in the situation, at the time it was the absolute last thing that I had expected. Her lips captured mine, and immediately I knew that she reciprocated my feelings. It was nothing like kissing Lavender: open-mouthed, wet, and lustful. It was passive and caring, soft yet meaningful. It was like nothing else that I had ever experienced before or ever would experience afterwards. In that moment, Lord Voldemort simply stepped out of existence for a few moments so that this young couple could have a moment to ourselves, and I realized the immensity of Harry's—and our—task. We were fighting for every single thing that Hermione's and my kiss represented, everything that Voldemort was going to take from the world.
"Ronald Bilius Weasley, I've waiting seven years for you to say that to me," she said, "and to be honest, I wasn't planning on waiting much longer."
"So—" My conscious mind was beginning to catch up with just what had happened, and was struggling to make sense of it—"so you really—you like me too? I'm not just being stupid?"
"No," she said. "Really. Um—I'm—I think I might be in love with you too," she said, stammering, and before long one of us had leaned forward again and captured the other's lips in a passionate kiss, and I leaned into her and she leaned into me and, just for that one moment in a chaotic and uncertain world, I was completely and utterly content.
"I've liked you ever since second year," she said. "I don't know what did it—maybe it was getting to spend some time with you outside of school. Maybe it was watching you de-gnoming the garden. Bloody hell, I don't know what it was, but I've felt the same way as long as I can remember."
That was all it took. From then on, I was walking on air. There was nothing and no one in the world that could stop me now, and in an instant everything seemed to make sense. Harry was a brave kid who had a destiny that he didn't deserve and a decent chance at defeating the most powerful Dark wizard in centuries. Hermione was a somewhat shy, always logical, extremely intelligent girl who was thrust into a world she didn't know existed and that she had to try desperately to make sense of what couldn't be made sense of. And I—
I was Ronald Weasley. I was in love with Hermione Jane Granger.
And that was enough.
"Hermione," I said, "I've got to tell you something."
"Oh no," she said, stepping backwards. "Don't tell me that that was all just a daydream or something. And please tell me that I didn't just hallucinate every part besides me kissing you, because that would be terribly awkward."
I snickered softly. She was really funny when she wasn't trying to be funny. At her somewhat offended look, I quickly comforted her. "No. Trust me. I really feel that way about you. Except I have to tell you something that I don't think you're going to believe, and I have to ask you to trust me."
"Okay," she said, face growing curious. "But...what is it?"
"This is the fourth time that I've been through this day," I said quickly, before I could lose my nerve. "The first time, you threw yourself in front of a Killing Curse meant for me. That distracted Harry enough for Voldemort to hit him with a Killing Curse. Once I saw you guys were dead there wasn't much fight left in me, and I died also. But here's where it gets weird.
"I was in this really weird white place, right? It seemed like I was totally alone, so far separated from everyone and everything that I felt like crying. But then I felt this other presence near me. I tried to talk to it, but I found that—wherever this was, maybe I was in heaven—I had no body, and so I couldn't speak. It told me to watch, and then it showed me my own funeral.
"Afterwards it asked me if I had any questions. When I asked where I was and why I was there, it told me that this was the afterlife and that I was going to get a second chance at life. When I asked why, it wouldn't answer. It told me that if I could fix what had caused me to die the first time, then I would stay alive, and of course I realized that if I didn't almost get hit by the Killing Curse then Harry wouldn't die. So I tried to win the battle by myself with my previous knowledge, but it didn't work. I went back to the weird afterlife place and it gave me a second chance, but then I tried to stop you from throwing yourself in front of me by getting you mad and that didn't work either. Finally I realized that I couldn't deny my feelings for you any more, and that I had to tell you in order to have any chance at winning. This is my last chance, Hermione.
"A Killing Curse is going to look like it will hit me during the upcoming battle. I'm asking you, from the bottom of my heart, not to throw yourself in front of it for me. I know you want me to live, and I'd do it for you, but it's because I love you that I'm asking you to make the ultimate sacrifice and not try and save my life. If you do, Harry will die and I won't have the strength to go on and will die anyway. But if you don't, Harry will live and maybe go on to beat Voldemort. So, please, Hermione, don't do it."
Hermione opened her mouth to answer, and my heartbeat quickened to beat a racing tattoo against my chest. Would she even believe me, or would she think I was crazy. Would—
Suddenly the world kind of spun around, and I forgot what I was talking about. I guessed it was just one of those things that Ginny's romance novel had said happened when you were in love.
"What were we talking about?" asked Hermione curiously.
"Doesn't matter," I said, pressing my lips against hers. As I deepened the kiss, she seemed to snap back to reality and kissed me back, the strength of the kiss increasing as we leaned against a building, our tongues darting occasionally into each others' mouths as we experienced each others' tastes for the first time. I know this seems kind of quick for a relationship to escalate, but you have to remember that we were in the middle of a war, on the day of the final battle, and none of us were sure the other one was going to live. In fact—
Hermione pulled away for a moment. "What was it you were asking me earlier?" asked Hermione. "It seems like there was something really important for us to remember, but I've forgotten."
"Me too," I said. And then suddenly I had it. "Oh, right. Hermione—listen to me. I know this sounds bad, but I've thought a lot about the battle coming up. One of us might die, but if we do I don't want the other one to lose their life too. Because if you died, I honestly don't know if I want to live."
"Oh, Ron," she said. "That's so sweet..."
"Please promise me," I said stubbornly. "I couldn't bear it if you died taking a Killing Curse meant for me."
There was a long pause. Hermione seemed to be struggling with something inside herself. Finally she looked me in the eyes again and responded.
"Okay, Ron. If you promise me not to do the same thing."
I hadn't thought of it that way, and for a few moments I felt as though I would have to lie to her. Finally, though, the strength to do as she asked found me, and I responded in turn.
"Okay, Hermione. I promise."
That day would later go down in history as the best day of my life. It passed too quickly, as good days often do, but during the little time we had Hermione and I enjoyed ourselves greatly. We got Harry from Honeydukes and told him the good news, receiving his halfhearted congratulations in the process.
"I knew this was going to happen, guys, but couldn't it have waited until after the biggest battle of my life?" he asked jokingly, and Hermione and I both stifled our laughter.
Afterwards, we took Harry back to the Three Broomsticks, and before long Hermione and I went out for a walk after promising not to leave the block and to Apparate—or run if there was an Anti-Apparition Ward—back to him as soon as possible in the case of a Death Eater attack. Once out of the Three Broomsticks, we resumed our previous routine of constantly kissing each other and professing our feelings to each other. Honestly, it was probably the least manly day of my life, but at the time I didn't care. I was in love.
Finally, the day ended as the sun crept completely over the horizon. There was a loud boom, and Hermione and I took only a moment to collect ourselves before running back to the pub and Harry.
"Ready?" asked Harry, and Hermione and I looked at each other for a moment before responding in unison.
"Ready. Let's go."
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A/N- For some reason I feel like this chapter particularly sucks, so please review if you disagree and let me know. Also, I promise that Ron didn't forget what he was saying in the middle of the story because I stopped and came back and forgot it. Finally, there will only be one or two chapters left at most, so I hope you have enjoyed the story so far and come back for the conclusion! Until then,
KaiserMonkey
